"Report!" Captain Janeway thundered over the roar of plasma weapons fire, and the din of overloading relays and exploding consoles.
"Shields are down to eight percent, Captain. They will not hold against another volley." Tuvok brushed a rill of green blood out of his eye that flowed from a long cut travelling down his forehead. Voyager was being torn apart from the overwhelming force of multiple alien warships firing on her at once.
Tapping a command into the small console next to the Captain's chair, Janeway's lips were twisted in a grim frown. "All hands, this is the Captain; abandon ship. Repeat, all hands abandon ship."
"They're firing again."
"Shunt life support to the shields." Chakotay had moved to one of the stations located at the back of the bridge, carefully stepping over the crumpled body of a fallen crew member as he shifted to another station.
"Fire on their bridge." Gripping the armrests of her chair, Captain Janeway grimly held on at the ship bucked around her. Killing the bridge crew would make it a lot easier to destroy the lead vessel.
"Shields at eleven percent." Blinking blood from his eye, Tuvok looked up at the viewscreen, where a trio of alien vessels hung, poised to deliver the final blow. "Still not enough."
There was a flash of bright orange, as waves of plasma bolts lept from the ship's emitters, racing across the void towards Voyager's hull. The wounded Federation ship shook and rattled as multiple bursts of energy struck her amidship, boiling through hull plating like it were ice.
There was a flash of strangly familiar, bright white light, and everything went dark.
-
A voice drifted out of the darkness. "Hello Kathy." A familiar voice. "Is the afterlife much how you expected it?" A familiar patronizing tone too.
Janeway felt herself lazily tumble end over end, slowly rotating to a stop. The familiar weight of one gee pressed down on her boot soles, and she staggered a little before recovering. "Q."
"In the proverbial flesh." Smiling, Q gave a little flourish with one hand. "Surprised?"
Not in the mood for banter, Janeway shot straight to the point. "Q, what did you do with my ship?"
Q's eyebrows rose in mock surprise. "Your ship? Why? Where did you leave it?"
"Q." Janeway's brows lowered as her tone deepened, anger creeping into that single letter that troubled so many across the galaxy.
"You're angry. You're actually angry at me? After all I've done to- for you?" Q put a hand to his chest. "I'm hurt, you wound me deeply Kathy, straight to the-"
"Q!"
"Oh alright, alright." Dropping the act, Q let his arm flop to his side. "It's in a quintillion, trillion, billion subatomic particles right about now."
"..."
"And it's entirely notmy fault." At Janeway's sceptical look, a bit of hurt crept into his tone. "Really Kathy. Do you think I would do something like that? I know how much you love that little ship and crew of yours."
Frowning, Janeway rubbed her temple. "You're right Q, I'm sorry."
Beaming, Q walked over and draped an arm over Janeway's shoulders. "All is forgiven Kathy, no need to trouble yourself. At least..." An impish smile crept across his lips. "Not over something piddling like that, in our situation now."
One of Janeway's eyes twitched. "'Piddling'? My ship?" Forgetting for an instant that she had come to think of Q as a reformed galactic pest, she imagined stuffing him into a very small jar with no air holes. Petty, yes, but she felt she deserved a petty thought every now and again. Particularly now.
"Now now, Kathy. That is completely unbecoming of you." Snapping his fingers, Janeway was enveloped in a flash of light. "I might have known. He rewrote you. No wonder you lost that little battle." Sighing, Q looked around the void. "Doesn't that call for some sort of penalty?"
Shaking her head, Janeway touched a hand to her brow, feeling disjointed for a moment. In an instant, awareness sprang back, and she looked at Q with wide eyes. "What happened to my crew?"
Q smiled fondly. "Now that's the Kathy I remember." His smile faded. "Unfortunately, they're all dead, for the moment." He held up his hands defensively. "And I can't-"
"Why not?" Feeling more clearheaded than she had in days, Janeway already knew how Q was going to finish that sentence. The constant barrage of battles over the course of a week rolled over her mind, and she winced at how poorly she had fumbled both peaceful negotiations, as well as tactical planning. She had turned into a ruthless warmonger.
"Because it's against the rules of the game." Frowning, Q turned back to face the darkness. "We're waiting on a ruling right now that should go in our favor. He did cheat after all."
"Rules? Game?" Janeway felt lost, as usual. It was rarely ever simple when speaking to Q. "Who's 'he'?"
"One question at a time Kathy."
"Alright, who then."
"P."
"Not right now."
Q chuckled. "I'm glad to see that sparkling wit of yours is intact."
"It's not exactly sparkling at the moment. I assume he's of a similar nature as yourself?" She was referring to the Continuum that Q originated from. It was a safe bet that this P fellow was also a godlike being.
"Right as usual. On to the next question." Frowning at the darkness, Q turned to face her. "The game is simple. We're playing for the fate of the known galaxy, and you little mortals are the playing pieces."
Janeway's expression grew stormy. "This is not a game Q."
"Actually, it is Kathy. And it's a rather important one we can't afford to lose. It might interest you to know that it was my idea to play the game."
"And you actually thought this was a good idea?
"Would you rather we tore the universe apart at the seams with raw power?"
"..."
"That's what I thought. Look at the bright side Kathy, at least this way you have a chance to help."
"Help? How? You expect me to fight an omnipotent being with my bare hands?"
"Ah ah ah. Didn't I say this was a game? Even a pawn can threaten a king, if it's moved to the right place."
"I'm not sure I like being considered a pawn." Thoughts tumbled through her head in a rush. How was this all happening? Why now? What could she possibly offer that nobody else in the known universe couldn't do better?
"Kathy, Kathy, Kathy. You give yourself too little credit." Shaking his head, Q strolled around Janeway in a circle, clasping his hands behind his back. "While the rest of your little Starfleet troupe, and most of that quaint galaxy you call home move like good little pawns, all in a straight line..." Q trailed off for a moment, glancing into the darkness. "You, and mon Capitan Jean-Luc move like knights. You never move in a straight line, it's always an unpredictable twist at the end. Not a single Q in the Continuum ever see it coming."
"Except for you."
"Except for me. And even so, there are times that you clever little knights surprise even me."
"How flattering."
"Kathy, come now. Who else in the universe could I ask to help me?" Q threw his arms out wide, wiggling his fingers expressively. "Kirk, Pike, Archer, Sisko... Bit of a brute though he was... I have the entire depth and breadth of time at these well manicured fingertips. I chose you Kathy, for a reason."
Janeway watched the theatric display, suddenly unsure of how the situation would unfold. "Why me?"
"Because q agreed with me. Best choice; Aunt Kathy." Q beamed down at Janeway, letting his arms drop to his sides again. "Little rascal takes after his old man."
"Q?"
"Yes?"
"No, I mean, Q agreed with you?"
"What? No, not Q, q."
"Q?"
"No no no." Frowning, Q leaned closer, sticking out his lips. "Watch my mouth, q." He moved his lips slowly, in an overly exaggerated manner. "q q q q."
"q?"
"Yes! Exactly. Dear little q, the apple of my eye, and yours too, I suspect." Straightening up, Q puffed out his chest a bit.
"q?" Something clicked in her head. "You mean your son."
"Kathy, you and a great deal of others may not realize it, but proper pronunciation is very important in the Continuum."
"With everyone named Q, I can see how that could become an issue."
"Mmm, yes. One of the main reasons why we choose not to reveal ourselves to mortals."
"Now you're just pulling my leg."
"Can you imagine having a Continuum phonebook? Useless to you, I assure you." Q snapped his fingers, and a large, and very thick yellow book appeared in Janeway's hands. "Go ahead, look me up. You'll never find me."
Staring at the book in mild surprise, Janeway flipped open the book to a random page, and stabbed her finger down. "Here?"
"No, I- let me see that." Q leaned over and stared at the Q Janeway's finger was on. Frowning, he snapped his fingers and the book vanished. "Lucky guess."
"You're kidding."
"Sadly, no. I think I owe someone a drink for that one." Looking away, Q frowned and tapped his foot. "This is taking an irritatingly long time Kathy, much longer than it should have, all things considered. There's no way the rulebook I submitted could take this long to review."
"You what? What sort of rules?"
Again, Q snapped his fingers. This time, the book that appeared was about half the size, in length, width, and thickness.
"Thisis your rulebook?" Janeway stared at it in dismay. It would take her hours to read, let alone memorize.
"Yes, rather wonderful, isn't it?" Looking at Janeway's expression, he smiled reassuringly. "Don't fret so, dear Kathy. It's the book P and myself will be playing by. As a knight, you really have no rules at all to follow."
Janeway frowned at the letter. "No rules? Then how do we play?"
"We play, Kathy, you just move where we tell you to." Q quickly continued. "Oh don't worry, I assure you, I'll be giving you no orders. Or most of my other pieces either. I've learned that mortals move in much more useful directions if you just drop a hint or two."
"And you expect me to simply guess how it's supposed to go?" Janeway frowned. If it was really a game she had to play, and considering the stakes, she wanted to win.
"That's my Kathy." Q beamed. "You'll be provided with as much information as you can handle. I'll be relying on you chiefly to win the game. Any other pieces we aquire along the way will fall under your command."
"My command? Q, I'm not sure I-"
"Not to worry Kathy, I have something special in mind to help you out."
"And by special, you mean-"
"He means me." A figure appeared in a flash of light, and threw his arms around Janeway's shoulders.
"q." Startled, Janeway stared for a moment, then lightly patted the junior omnipotent being on the back.
"Hello aunt Kathy. Surprised to see me?" Dropping his arms, q stepped back and flashed Janeway a broad smile.
"Yes, very." Janeway glanced at Q. "I take it you're planning on leaving him with me on Voyager?"
"Well, not Voyager exactly..."
"Q."
"Really, I can't Kathy. It's-"
"Against the rules, I know, I know." Janeway rubbed her temples. These rules were starting to give her a headache, and she didn't even know what they were yet.
"Actually, it's not." Grinning, q bounced on his heels.
"Oh?" Q turned to glare at the darkness for a moment, before turning his full attention on q. "What did you do?"
"Don't shoot me, I'm just the messenger. The ruling is that the last week will be undone, but not all the crew will return to the ship." q held up his hands to forestall any complains the two may have had. "P put in a complaint that aunt Kathy's crew was just too good to keep. I put in a counter complaint, and we're allowed to pick two new members to replace your first officer, and your tactical officer."
"And you accepted that?" Q gave q a disbelieving look.
"Well, yes."
"q." Q's tone dropped as he loomed over his son.
"I wasn't finished yet." Smiling, q pointed at Janeway. "I think aunt Kathy knows what I had in mind. Both q and Q turned to look at Janeway.
Feeling a little on the spot, Janeway thought for a moment. "Any two? No particular time or space was specified?"
"Exactly." q beamed. "I knew you'd realize it."
"But what good does that do us?" Q frowned. "Just because we..." Trailing off, Q glanced between the other two. "There's something I'm missing."
"Some of Starfleet's best and brightest have been gone for years, Q. Think about it."
Frowning, Q did indeed think about it. "Oh." A wicked grin spread over Q's face. "I think I know just how to exploit such a blunder too."
"Uh, Q." A knot of worry formed in Janeway's gut. "I'm not sure that we should consider this lightly. We should thi-"
Snapping his fingers, Q gave Janeway an innocent look. "Think what over?"
Sighing, Janeway closed her eyes and rubbed her temples a few times before looking at Q again. "Q, what did you just do?"
"You said you wanted one of Starfleet's best and brightest. You've got it." Turning, Q pointed his arm with a flourish. Off in the darkness, a shadowy figure appeared. "Kathy, may I introduce your new crewman?"