Smash Fortress
Episode 1: Operation H.I.G.H.T.A.I.L.
H- Heavyily
I- Incompitant
G- Group
H- Head
T- To
A- Affectivly
I- Infiltrate
L- Lair
King DDD, Kirby, Link and Zelda are seen at a mall. King DDD and Kirby are eating some pizza (by inhaling).
Zelda sighed."Remind me why I came with you losers?"
"Cause you love me."
"Of course…"
Zelda checked her watch. "Crap! We are gonna get in deep trouble if we are late for dinner! … Again!"
Link suddenly stopped drinking his soda and spat everything out. "Dammit! What time is it?"
"5:50!" Zelda replied, panicking
King DDD stopped eating and yelled out "AHH!! NOT GOOD! The king needs his food!"
Kirby plopped out of his chair "But we just ate 4 pizza pies."
"Oh… BUT STILL! WE NEED TO GET BACK BEFORE MASTER GIVES US A HELL OF A BEATING!!"
Kirby smiled. "I think it's time for…"
King DDD grinned as well "the ultimate crime fighters…"
Zelda interrupted their heroic chant "I'm not going to play that stupid 'Team Fortress' game again! I'm going back myself." She left.
Link shrugged. "Ahh forget her. I'm in!"
Kirby jumped up and down. "Yay! Now it's time for…"
"HEAVY!" King DDD bellowed.
"SNIPER!" Link said
"SPY!" Kirby chanted.
"And we are…" the three paused dramatically.
"SMASH FORTRESS!" A Smash ball emblem appeared.
Link jumped into a trash can, King DDD shoved himself into a bathroom, and Kirby stuck himself into a phone booth to change (Superman Parody)
"I AM VERY HEAVY!" King DDD yelled, coming out of the bathroom. He was now in a light blue robe and a brown top and bottom. His mallet was now white and black and he wore a blue and yellow football helmet. His feet were also black.
"Look out, ally Sniper on the loose." Link said, coming out of the trashcan. His shield was brown and sword was replaced by a more versatile wooden sword. Link's hat was brown, along with his shoes. He wore beige pants and red tunic. At the bottom of the tunic, where everyone thinks Link wears a skirt, is black with red outline. He is also wearing fingerless gloves. He is also wearing an orange mask that only covers his eyes.
"I'm not an enemy spy! I'm on your side!" Kirby shouted. He is wearing a magenta all body mask that leaves his eyes and mouth revealed. His feet are beige striped and his cutter blade is replaced with a long knife.
"Okay let's go!" Sniper (Link) yelled. He dashed out of the door. Heavy (King DDD) and Spy (Kirby) followed him.
Main Objective: Get to the Smash Mansion before the Timer is up.
Spy managed to get ahead. "Is anyone gonna push the freakin' car?"
Sniper made a frown of annoyance.
"Incoming!"
Sniper suddenly opened his eyes wider. "Sentry, right up there!"
*CRASH!*
Current Objective: Save Spy.
Ike is seen with Kirby in his mouth, immobilized.
"Uh oh!" Sniper said.
In a muffled tone of voice, Spy said, "What? Am I gonna have to fend off against this guy all by myself?"
Sniper and Heavy caught up to Spy. "Come on, this party isn't going to cap itself! Get going!" Sniper said. Heavy shoved his hand in Ike's mouth and pulled Spy out. He put him down and picked up Ike who was now normal.
Spy left saying "The clock's movin' backwards! Get going!"
Ike, angered said "Seriously, you guys suck."
Heavy, not paying attention, threw Ike away, injuring him. "KEEP PUSHING!" He left to catch up to Sniper and Spy.
Current Objective: Keep Running!
Sniper got out his watch, and it said "Five minutes left in the mission. Five minutes."
Sniper yelled "Hurry up, clock's movin' backwards! PUSH IT! PUSH IT!"
The three started to run faster. It wasn't long until Sniper started to slow down. "Ah crap… I can't push it hard enough." He stopped for a moment.
Current Objective: Get Past the Construction Yard!
Meanwhile with Spy and Heavy. Spy notices a dead end in front of them. "Ah crap…" He suddenly has an idea. He grabs Heavy and puts him in front of him, running faster. He smashes through the wooden fence.
"I AM VERY HEAVY!" Heavy yelled in a happy tone. "OH NOOOO!!!" They were heading straight for a steamroller. Spy then put Heavy in the ground like a pole vault and jumped into the steamroller, hurting himself.
"RAWR!!!" Heavy bashed his head through the front of the steamroller and grabbed Spy with his Inhale ability. Spy accidentally flipped a lever and the steamroller started moving. Spy started running. He ran into a crane. "I cannot believe this!" The crane hook launched up then drifted down and launched him into Heavy, in which they both got rammed into the steamroller. Let's just say…
*SQUISH*
"Keep pushing!" Heavy said, after the steamroller passed.
"Medic!" Spy said. He checked his watch. 4 minutes left. "AWW CHEESE!"
He and Heavy are suddenly hit by a speeding car. Sniper was driving! Spy and Heavy are knocked up and land in the back seat, because the top was gone.
"Missed me?" Sniper asked, grinning.
"Yeah! How did you hot wire this thing?" Spy asked.
"I had a little lesson from Engineer (Ness). I was able to build a battery to power the hotride!" Sniper grinned.
"Yeah, here's something you should of built, an knot tying machine!" He and Heavy suddenly gasped. Sniper looked ahead to see Lucario, Meta-knight, and Snake.
"Enemy patrol!" Sniper yelled.
"It looks like those idiots are playing Team Fortress again." Snake said. "They are complete geeks" Meta knight said.
"SPIES!" Spy yelled out. "I SPY A SPIES!" Heavy yelled too. The three crashed their car into a heap of garbage next to the "spies."
Lucario said "It looks like it's dead end for these-"
"INCOMING!" Spy yelled running out.
"INCOMING!" Heavy yelled following Spy.
"INCOMING!" Sniper yelled out, following Heavy.
The three ran. Sniper looked above him to Meta Knight heading straight for him flying.
"AHH!!"
Meta Knight stabbed Sniper's hat to the ground, and Sniper would not let go.
"Time to beat up this 'Sniper'." Snake said, grinning evily.
"Snipah! SPY!!" Heavy yelled to Spy. Spy ignored him and kept running "Push it, push it!"
Heavy ran back and forth deciding whether to follow Spy or save Sniper…
Objective: Get to the Mansion and regroup with the others.
Spy continued to run. "No no no… the clock! Anyone else pushing this thing?" he looked around and there was a shortcut underneath a ladder. "Alright!" He ran under the ladder. "That's what I'm talking about!" Suddenly, gardening tools fell from the sky.
Spy closed his eyes, thinking he was going to get hit. He opened his eyes to see everything had missed him.
"Un-freakin'-touchable!" At that second, he was hit in the head by anvil. Above, was Ike who was laughing. "Don't you ever cross me again, dork!" He left.
Final Objective: Get to the Mansion
"Hey, someone help me out!" Spy pleaded, as Heavy ran by, covered in bruises and carrying Sniper. "Push it, Push it!"
"Well, I'll be damned!" Sniper said. "Take it like a man, shorty."
Heavy check apiece of a watch he stepped on. 2 minutes left. Sniper noticed his shadow moving. He looked at the sun for a moment and said "GO GO GO!!"
Spy, who was somehow able to escape the anvil, yelled out "PUSH IT MAN!!"
The three started running. Sniper checked his watch again. 50 seconds left.
"PUSH IT HARDER!!" Sniper suddenly felt a pain in his liver area. He was pushing himself too hard. He clutched onto it. "Gah…"
"Keep pushing! We're almost there!" Spy yelled, pointing at the mansion in sight.
"Go on without me!" Sniper said, slowing down. Heavy grabbed his wrist and ran faster, dragging Sniper painfully across the ground "No! We go together!"
"Oh yeah baby!" Spy said, only having to cross a quite street to make it to the mansion. 40 seconds left
Suddenly, a dark cloud went over the mansion and the trio.
"You gotta be kidding me!" Spy said, as heavy winds pushed him into Heavy, who even he was having trouble walking to the mansion. It was starting to rain heavily and lightning filled the sky. Sniper was hanging onto Heavy's robe. "DAMMIT! Dammit dammit dammit. Dammit dammit dammit!
Heavy made a grin of determination. He used Sniper's bow and shot an arrow to the mansion. The Arrow had a rope, and Heavy climbed it, with Spy and Sniper holding on.
"Nice shot!" Spy said, smiling, as Heavy got close.
"We're gonna make it!" Sniper said.
Unfortunately, luck wasn't on Smash Fortress's side today. At that moment, an army of pies with legs (from an experimental game) ran past the mansion. Roy, was riding on one of the pies yelling "Ya, ya! Run pies! Get yer exercize!"
Heavy (King DDD to remind you) loved pies. He stopped and panted "P-P-P-P-PIES!!!" He grinned widly as Spy said "That's just not right!" 25 seconds left.
In slow motion, Heavy repeated his name as he "Belly Flopped" into the flock of pies.
Spy managed to escape to the mansion. "Huh? Alright!" He was about to go in, when he saw Sniper getting trampled by the pies. "Help me!"
Spy looked back at the mansion. He looked at Sniper again.
"HEEEEEEEEEEELP!!"
10 seconds! Spy looked back at the mansion. He quickly said to Sniper "No no, the" 5 seconds "time on the" 4, "clock! Gotta get" 3 "There on time" 2 "Sorry!" 1
He dashed into the door but the door was locked because time was up.
MISSION FAILED
Spy stared in disbelief that his team had failed. The storm cleared up and the weird army of pies left. Heavy was seen, with pies all over his face. He is also holding 6 more pies in one hand, and Sniper in the other. Sniper sighed. "You're alright Heavy. Unlike someone I know!" He glared at Spy.
Spy remained silent. Heavy said "At least Master Hand didn't catch us!"
JINX! Master Hand bashed out of that door at that moment. "You three are late! That's it! Punishment time!"
With some quick thinking, Sniper said "We'll give you 3 pies if you spare us!"
Master Hand passed. He then said "Each."
Sniper thought "oh crap…"
Epilogue
Kirby is seen in a dungeon like area, with Crazy Hand smacking him in the butt with a paddle. "CRY MORTAL! CRY!!!"
"HELP ME!!"
Link and King DDD watched from a window.
Link turned back in defeat. "If only I scavenged a few more pies…"
King DDD cheered him up. "You did well though, Sniper."
"You really think so?"
"Think what?"
The two friends walked away.
Next Time, in Smash Fortress
"YOU SOLD US OUT?!" Kirby yelled. Zelda pushed him away. "Hell yeah. You guys are so immature."
Ness stood up. "We are not immature!"
Zelda replied "Yeah right. Later, losers."
Kirby, King DDD, Ness, Sonic, and Roy looked pretty angry. "We're getting back at her!"