It´s not a matter of good or evil
Light finds himself shocked when he get´s his memory of his time being Kira back. He can´t believe it´s really him and because of the shock he spills his secret for everyone to hear. L however does not believe Light was conscious of his actions and is not ready to let Light die.
Chapter one
Light stares at the dirty, grey wall of his prison cell. That´s all he can do. Stare. Stare in horror and repeat what has happened just two nights ago.
-Light sat in a helicopter next to the man who suspected him of being Kira for so many months. They were finally going to arrest the real Kira so Light could be free of the chain the connected him to L. Light felt excited for being so close to his name getting cleared, and yet, there was another feeling. At the time, Light couldn't place the other, strange feeling. So he pushed the feeling away and instead watched his father arrest Kira. He and L watched as one by one all of the other task members fall to the ground in horror, seeing something that he and L don´t. L demanded to see the notebook that was found. While L took it and stared off in the distance, at something that was invisible to Light, the strange feeling hit Light again. He glanced at the notebook. Was that it? Did this strange notebook, that seemed to cause everyone around him to act strange, give him the strange feeling that he couldn't place? In an impulse and because of his increasing curiosity as of what everyone else was seeing, Light took the notebook.
From that point on everything is like a bad dream to Light. As he touched the notebook, his memory of being Kira, the known mass murderer. He couldn't believe it. No. this couldn't be happening. He was not responsible for the death of that many people. What kind of evil had possessed him? Why would he do such a thing?
Without realizing it Light began to scream. When he noticed L was staring at him from the seat next to him, he stared back into the large, dark eyes and stuttered: ''I... I... can't believe... I did it.. I'm... I'm Kira... OH MY GOD L, you... you were right... I was Kira all along!''
It became quiet. Very, very quiet. Until Light realized what he had done. He confessed. His master plan failed. He had lost. At that same moment he hears his father's scream through the headset they were all wearing. Of course. Everyone heard.
Light considered his options. Could he run? He glanced at the other side of him, at the door of the helicopter. He didn't stand a change. Before he could reach for the door, he felt a sharp pinch in his left arm. Confused he gazed back at L, who had a needle in his hand. Light stared in the large black eye and wondered why L had that with him in the first place, but he couldn't wonder for long. The sedative kicked in quickly. -
Light sighed. All he can do now is wait. Wait for L's mercy to kill him off quickly. And he can wonder. Not that that's helping. He can only wonder why. When he got his memory back, he didn't even consider killing L. He was fully aware of this original plan, be he just couldn't. He just had spent months of investigating the Kira case, and wondering if L could be right, if he could be Kira. Eventually, he convinced himself that he couldn't be. He would not have and could not had killed so many people, no matter what they'd done. He did somehow support Kira and his justice, but he never wanted to be him. He never wanted to have that much blood on his hands. His plan was brilliant. Yes, the plan was good. Than what went wrong? Light can only think of one explanation: He himself was what went wrong. He changed. In the past few months he spent with L, he changed. Was that possible? Had L had that much of an influence on him?
'I have to stop thinking about all the possible explanations...' Light thinks sadly. 'Yes. Whatever the reason is, I've lost. L won. Now I have to accept my loss and die with dignity.' But he can't help feeling defeated and scared. Scared for what is to come, scared for the hurt an suffering he put his family through and what they will think of him now. Scared for death.
Back at headquarters, L leans back in his chair. He finally did it. Light confessed. If he is honest, he thought he was gonna die before ever hearing that confession. He already had accepted it.
And now, without a warning, Light just gave up. L won, Light is indeed the mass murderer Kira.
L knows he should feel happy. Victorious. But why isn't he?
He looks around in the investigation room. The room is darkened by the shades that are in front of the windows. There are several desks and computers. This is the place where he and the rest of the task force members spent most of the time the past few months, trying to catch Kira. Who was within hand reach all along. And L knew it. And now he had won.
But strangely, L does not feel like a winner. At all. He feels like he is losing. He is losing he very fist friend. He wonders if that's why he is affected by Light's capture so much.
Maybe it is the way Light looked at him when he confessed. Shocked. In pain. As if he wanted to die right there in the helicopter. As if he regretted being Kira. But no, that can't be it. L does not feel sorry. Not for a mass murderer.
L reaches for a bow full of candy and grabs something randomly, without seeing what it actually is, and puts it in his mouth.
'It's a shame.' he thinks. 'that sure is true. Light is smart. He does match with me on almost every level. I'll probably never come across some one like him again ever in my life.'
But there is another thing that doesn't makes sense to L. Why did Light give up? Why confess? Sure, he saw the pain and shame on Light's face. Sure, it seemed like he felt remorse. But why? Light's plan would have worked. They had arrested the third Kira, he could have walked free. L finds it hard to believe it was an accident, and it just slipped out of Light's mouth. He wouldn't have done that. Not unless he felt truly remorse. But the odds of the proud and arrogant Light feeling sudden remorse are very low.
Than there is another option. Light was possessed by some evil power during his time being Kira. The longer L thinks about that possibility, the more it makes sense. 'I mean, the Death note was real, and I wouldn't believe something like that existed if I hadn't seen it with my own eyes. Who's to say that there isn't some evil power with the notebook that forces people to use it?' In that case, Light's can not be fully blamed for what he did. L gets excited by this thought.
There is only one problem.. Light confessed.
L had brought an unconscious Light back to the headquarters after he had confessed to him in the helicopter. At headquarters L had locked Light up in his old confinement cell and waited a few hours before he woke up. Then he took Light into another room to question him. Light was at that time overwhelmed with emotions. L could tell, not because Light was crying or saying things to make him believe so, but L saw that Light's perfect 'mask' be always wore was gone. The self controlled, arrogant, pride Light that L usually saw was gone. He just stared and looked as if he was in a different place.
He claimed that he knew what he was doing all along. It was his choice. His master plan. He wanted to make the world a better place and free it from it's criminals. That he was god and he killed at this people. And he now had lost to L, so he accepted the fact that he was going to die.
L asked a lot more questions, but all Light really said was that he did it, he killed them, and he had lost. L had asked him why he gave up. All Light answered was; 'What difference does it make? You've won. Now bring me to justice.'
Light shifts uncomfortable in the hard bed that is in his cell. He feels cold and scared, but he can't even care about that. He deserves it. He failed.
The night is almost over, Light can see stripes of sunshine shining through the window. He didn't sleep at all this night. Or the night before. So now Light feels like crap.
He has nothing better to do than sit up and look around in the small cell. There is only a few things in the room. The bed where he is sitting on, a toilet and a sink. Light feels a little better because there is a small window, so he can see the sky. It's clear blue.
Light sighs. This could be the last time he sees such a beautiful sky. He wonders what's taking so long. Sending Kira to his death should be easy, he's sure there will be no one to protest if Kira disappears without a fair trial. So where is L and why is he still alive? It has been 8 days since he was imprisoned. Some one should come and kill him off quickly.
'Hm, maybe they are deciding how to do it?' Light wonders, and Light startled when at that moment his cell door opens. And he can't believe who it is.
L opens the door that leads to Light's cell. He thought about it all week. He can't just let Light die. He is just to valuable. He could be a great detective one day. And he has come to another conclusion. If it is true that Light was being possessed during the time he was Kira by some evil power, he could still be possessed. Sure, Light says he is not possessed and that he knew what he was doing, but who says that that's not also the evil power speaking? No, L just can't believe that his fist ever friend is a mass murderer. Not when he seems to show so much remorse. And Light is to smart for that. So L decided. Light lives. The only thing he has to do now, is tell Light. The rest is taken care off. L just bought the criminal 'Kira' from the government of Japan, to bring him to justice himself. L went to a lot of trouble to get it done. The people will want to see Kira dead. And so L arranged a fake death. Now he had permission to take Kira and to do with him what ever he pleases. Only, not in Japan. He has to take Kira and leave immediately.
The big, sad Amber-eyes look up to him as he enters the cell. L can see a mix of emotions running over Light's face. Anger. Hate. Sorrow. Pain. And.. relieve? L takes in the picture of Light sitting so helplessly on his cell bed until the sound of the heavy door shutting let them both startle.
L decides not to waste more words than needed.
''We are leaving. Now. You are going with me to the USA to work for me. You will be my prisoner.'' he says.
Light's expression slowly changes from confused to furious. ''NO! You can't do that! You have to execute me! I am a murderer!'' he screams into L's face. L just sighs.
''Yes I know you think you are, Light. However, I don't think you were fully..'' L start, but Light cuts him off.
''Don't say I didn't knew what I was doing! I was NOT possessed and I killed people. Because I WANTED TO!'' Light is about to cry, L can see it.
''Anyhow, Light, you are coming with me. I saw your remorse. You feel the pain you've caused. If it is true what you are saying, and you were in fact fully aware of you actions, than letting you die would be letting you get off easy, wouldn't you say?'' L asks.
Light stares at him ans says nothing.
''Well alright then, I'm glad we agree.'' L can see Light opening his mouth to protest, but he goes on. ''We will be leaving right now. Your hands and feet will be cuffed and you will be given an sedative, just to be safe.''
Light growls. L smirks.
''Oh, and also: Light Yagami is dead as from now on. He was executed yesterday. Kira is dead'' with that said, L turns around and leaves the cell.
''Watari, are we ready to go?'' L asks as he walks up to the elderly man who stands outside the prison building.
''Yes L, everything is ready. We should go now, is the boy ready?'' Watari asks in return.
L nods his head. ''Yes, the prison's doctor is giving him an sedative, and the guards should take him outside any minute now.''
Watari smiles. ''Good, than we can go now.''
Together they walk to a large black car parked along the street. Behind the black car is an ambulance. This is the easiest way to get an unconscious Light into his private jet. L only hopes the prison doctor gives Light a strong enough sedative, so that he doesn't wake up until they are at their new home.
Meanwhile, Light sits on the bed in his cell, watching how the guards put chains on his ankles and wrists. After that a doctor in a white lab coat comes is, holding a syringe with a anesthetic. Light feels nauseous. He always hated needles and injections. He instinctively moves back from the doctor. The man is older and has gray hair. He sighs when he sees Light move over to the very end of the bed.
''Come on, you won't even feel it.'' He says to comfort the boy a little.
'Sure.. they always say that' Light thinks, but he doesn't want to behave like a child. So he leans back in the direction of the doctor and he grabs his sleeve. When the sleeve is pulled up far enough, Light feels the needle go into his vein. The nausea increases for a moment, and then Light feels himself fall back onto the bed, into the dankness.