"O Christmas Tree"
Rated T
Pairing: Taylor x Lorenzo
Disclaimer: I do not own anything related to Total Drama, The Ridonculous Race, or any of the characters from the show. The only thing I own is bull-f'in zip. Anyway, this is for my friend, Nikki1975, who wants a Taylor/Lorenzo one-shot. I'm normally not the guy who would take requests in the first place (only if it's necessary), but for this one exception, I will. So, I hope you'll like it.
P.S.: I am sticking to only pairing Taylor up with Rock after this fic is done. So I hope this one-shot will be worth it for you, non-TayRock fans!
It looked very snowy outside a cold Winnipeg night as it was only seven days before the most important holiday of them all, Christmas, could arrive. Christmas was the only time of year when people would give love, peace and joy to others while giving out gifts, baking cookies and sing Christmas carols to their heart's content.
For Taylor and her smark boyfriend Lorenzo however, Christmas was beginning to feel interesting. In the apartment they were sharing, both Taylor and Lorenzo was given the task of setting up the Christmas tree this year. Sounds simple, right?
Well, Taylor was given the job of placing the ornaments on the tree, and Lorenzo was, well...
...
...
...Taylor had to find out for sure.
"Okay, that's the last of the red ornaments," Taylor replied, lending her hand out for something. "Lorenzo, can you lend me the popcorn so I can put it on the string for me to hang?"
Suddenly, there was no answer coming from Lorenzo. So she replied again.
"I said, can you lend me the popcorn so I can put it on the string for me to hang?" Taylor groaned.
And yet, there was still no answer.
Replying to once again another dissatisfied groan, Taylor turned to Lorenzo.
"Aren't you listening to me?" She groaned. "I said, can you lend me the pop-"
However, she was cut off when she saw Lorenzo eating the popcorn that was meant to be used as ornaments.
"YOU'RE EATING THE POPCORN ALREADY?!" Taylor scowled.
"What? I was starvin'!" Lorenzo said with his mouth full.
"That frickin' popcorn was supposed to be for our Christmas tree!" She cried out. "It's not meant for eating."
"Well, excuse frickin' me for having such an appetite!" Lorenzo scoffed. "There was nothing else for me to snack on!"
"Did you try the fridge? I bought pudding cups a week ago!" Taylor huffed.
"Yeah, and you didn't fuckin' save me any!" He cried out. "You ate like the last six cups!"
"I had to! You didn't even want them!" Taylor snapped back.
"That's because I was too busy at the department store!" Lorenzo whined heavily. "I hardly even get time to eat a Snack Pack, let alone finish one!"
"Well, you could help finish by decorating the rest of the tree?" Taylor said, handing the box of ornaments to him.
"Ugh, fine!" Lorenzo replied, rolling his eyes.
Like what any a-hole can do, Lorenzo decided to dump all of the ornaments on the floor with a smirk on his face.
"What are you doing now?" She huffed.
"Putting the ornaments on the floor." Lorenzo smirked again. "That's how me and Chet do it when we decorate a Christmas tree. Makes things easier."
"That's not gonna make the tree any better!" Taylor groaned. "You pick those ornaments, or so help me God, I take this candy cane and hang it down your throat!"
"Nah, I don't feel like it." Lorenzo chuckled. "I'm gonna go get egg nog!"
"The hell you will!" She scoffed in response. "Come back here and help me pick this crap up! For goodness sakes, Lorenzo, they're my ornaments!"
One at a time, Taylor began picking up the rest of her already broken ornaments and put them next to the fireplace. After she was done, she angrily went to the living room where she saw Lorenzo kicking back in the chair with a glass of egg nog while watching Perfect Strangers on TV.
Lorenzo was laughing at some horrible joke that Balki made before Taylor stepped in front of the TV.
"Hey, move out of the way, I'm trying to watch some nostalgia here!" Lorenzo snapped at her.
"Like I care about your show about old smelly farts!" Taylor exclaimed.
"They are not old smelly farts, okay?!" Lorenzo sighed. "Well, one of them is, the other guy's half-retarded!"
With a bored scowl, Taylor took the remote control away from him and turned off the TV, much to Lorenzo's irritation.
"What the hell? I was frickin' watching that!" He cried out.
"Well, now your show's over," Taylor laughed sarcastically. "Now come help me decorate the rest of the tree."
"Screw that, I wanna watch TV!" Lorenzo snarled.
"Please help me!"
"Screw off!"
"Lorenzo, don't make me hold my breath blue!" She growled.
"Oh no, you better friggin' not!" Lorenzo screamed.
But his claims soon fell on deaf ears.
Taylor suddenly took in a deep sigh and held her breath in. Bigger than a bloated football and bluer than blueberry jam could ever be. Lorenzo knew this was gonna happen sooner or later. But yet, no matter how much he could defend himself, Taylor kept on holding her cheeks bluer and bluer until she would pop.
Knowing this was a waste of time for sure, Lorenzo finally managed to get out of the chair and give up.
"Fine, I'll come help you!" Lorenzo groaned.
"Good, now follow me." Taylor sighed.
With much added sarcasm, Lorenzo followed her path to the relax room.
But he didn't follow Taylor though.
Instead, Lorenzo ended up going to the closet where he grabbed a box that had his name on it. Whatever was inside that box, Taylor didn't even want to know. But yet, Lorenzo held up the box with some pride and a smile. After he set them down, Taylor gave him a stone cold stare.
"What the hell are you doing?" She asked him.
"We're doing what you said, we're decorating the tree." Lorenzo smirked. "But we're doing it my way."
"Oh, swell..." Taylor rolled her eyes. "You got ornaments?"
"Well, I got something better than ornaments!" He smirked evilly.
After digging through the box for a few seconds, he brought out what seemed to be a can of silly string. And quickly as he brought it out, he started to spray some on the Christmas tree that he and Taylor brought together.
"Silly string?" Taylor groaned. "Are you on dope?"
"Hey, like it or not, me and Chet do this to our Christmas tree!" Lorenzo exclaimed. "Makes things a little more cool and festive!"
"Lorenzo, this tree looks like it could be for gang members!" Taylor exclaimed back.
Ignoring Taylor's cries of bullcrap, Lorenzo went back to his box and grabbed the powdered sugar. He immediately opened them up and chucked the whole thing at the tree, making it look like sweet-flavored snow.
"Now you're putting sugar on top of the tree?!" Taylor groaned again. "Look, it's even more crappier than the silly string you wrapped around it!"
"Makes it fun for occasion!" Lorenzo smirked. "Now it's time for the granddaddy of them all!"
"Which is?" She rolled her eyes again.
With a smirk, Lorenzo brought out silver ornaments for her to see.
"These silver balls!" He exclaimed.
"Good, now we're finally getting somewhere..." Taylor rolled her eyes in relief.
With another evil smirk, Lorenzo took one of those silver ornaments and threw them at the tree like a jackass.
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING, NOW?!" Taylor shouted.
"I'm doing what you said!" Lorenzo smirked once more. "I'm hanging up ornaments!"
"Yeah, I see that, but you're not supposed to frickin' throw them!" She groaned aggressively. "You're supposed to place them gently on the branches, not make it look like crappy target practice!"
Annoyed by Taylor's complaints, Lorenzo shot her with a glare of his own.
"You know what? You're just too whiny to appreciate what I do for you!" Lorenzo snapped at her. "I try to clean, cook and even pamper you, but all you do is make things worse! Next thing you know, everyone of my friends think my girlfriend is some sort of buzzkill! Oh wait a minute, I already forgot. You already are a friggin' buzzkill!"
"All right, that's it. GIMME THAT BOX!" Taylor shouted as she lunged for Lorenzo box.
In retaliation, Lorenzo also got his hand on the box, now making this into an intense tug-of-war battle between boyfriend and girlfriend. Taylor had the momentum for a while, using her inner strength to try to pull the box away from him, but Lorenzo unleashed a second wind by pulling the box away from her. She didn't let go of the box by the way, clawing the paper box like a cat.
In the heat of the tug-of-war battle, Taylor gave some fighting words to Lorenzo.
"If only you had hung out my ornaments like I asked you to in the first place, this wouldn't happen!" Taylor snarled.
"Well, it's not my fault they suck so bad!" Lorenzo snarled as well.
"You take that back!" She shouted.
"I will if you let go of that box!" He shouted back.
After only a few minutes of struggling, Taylor finally got the box out of Lorenzo's hands...
...
...
...
...only for the box to accidentally fling itself over to the fireplace, burning it to dust.
"MY BOX!" Lorenzo screamed.
"Good, I was actually getting tired of the thing!" Taylor scoffed with a smirk.
"THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!" He screamed angrily at her. "IF YOU DIDN'T GET INVOLVED IN THE FIRST PLACE, THIS WOULDN'T HAPPEN!"
"Me get involved?" Taylor replied. "Hello? You were the one who-"
However, she was cut off when one of the sparks flew out of the fireplace, and landed on the sugar-coated, silly-string covered tree, therefore lit on fire for the two to see!
"Oh crap, the tree's on fire!" Lorenzo shouted.
"WHAT?!" Taylor shrieked. "OH NO!"
"See what your utter stupidity did there?" He huffed.
"Me?" Taylor said, pointing to herself. "You were the one who wouldn't place my ornaments on the tree!"
"Whatever, you can blame me later!" Lorenzo shook his head. "Right now, just put out the fire!"
"Right!" She nodded.
Looking for something quickly, Taylor managed to find a purple satin blanket laying right on the sofa. She immediately grabbed it and placed it all around the tree, hoping that the entire fire would be covered and dosed out.
But instead, the fire blew past the blanket, creating a very huge hole around it. Taylor was terrified for sure!
"Oh crap, why can't I do anything right?!" Taylor groaned.
Taylor was too frozen in fear of the fire spreading all around in the living room. All hope was lost...
...
...
...
...until Lorenzo came out of nowhere with a fire extinguisher!
Using his bent up rage, Lorenzo pulled the trigger and sent out a blast of cold air, shooting all around the tree and the fireplace at once. He kept pressing on that extinguisher hard as he can until there was no more air left. Now all that was left was a dried up fireplace, a burnt up Christmas tree, and a burnt up purple blanket.
But more importantly, an angry pissed-off Taylor.
"It's about time you took care of that fire!" Taylor rolled her eyes. "That blanket wasn't worth crap."
"No kidding, this is the worst pre-Christmas ever!" Lorenzo whined. "Now we have no tree, no fireplace and basically, no stockings to hang up!"
"We don't even have stockings, you dork!" Taylor snapped back.
"Eh, whatever!" Lorenzo snarled. "I ain't cleaning this shit up!"
"Well, I ain't cleaning this shit, either!" Taylor exclaimed.
"Yeah, in fact, I'm going over to Rock and Spud's for egg nog!" Lorenzo nodded as he grabbed his jacket.
"Well, whoop-de-frickin'-do!" She rolled his eyes. "I'm gonna go watch those old farts on TV!"
"Yeah, I'll be back for lovemaking tonight!" He sneered.
"I'll wear something hard and tight for you!" She sneered back.
"Fine!"
"FINE!"
Just like that, Lorenzo shut the door on his girlfriend's face and got inside the car while Taylor got back to watching Lorenzo's favorite TV show from the 80's (mostly because nothing else was on).
Even as Lorenzo was driving and Taylor was watching, both of their thoughts rang up inside their minds.
"Ugggh, that Taylor drives me so crazy, the way she's shouting at me makes her so hot..." He thought with a vicious smirk.
"Who does Lorenzo think he is snapping at me? He's so cute when he's like that..." She thought with an evil smile.
So much for celebrating the holidays. Taylor and Lorenzo always knew that a little temper in their systems could definitely spice up their relationship.
And to think it all started near their Christmas tree.
Even though I don't support this couple (mostly because I'm a huge Taylor/Rock shipper), I would agree they'd look good together. They mostly be arguing all the time, but I think they'll love one another in an angry kind of romance.
But still, it's the only time I'm writing this couple. Regardless if you like (or hate) the way I ship my pairings, at least respect them. Just asking, my friends. No offense.
Anyway, feedbacks are welcome! Until next time, same Warrior time, same Warrior channel! BOOSH!