As I mentioned in summary, this is reloaded version of this fic, with some lot correction in spelling and cosmetic changes in dialogues. Once again I'm directing you to read "Why can't I hate you" by ReapersShadow or you won't get some references and context.

Disclaimer Nocturne and it's characters belong to ATLUS.

„Why?"

This was the question currently running through his head. What sin did he commit to deserve such a cruel fate? Ok. He did killed angels… And gods… And destroyed Kagutsuchi – the light of creation, but that all was for mankind's sake! So why?

With hopeless gaze, he cast a look at his – now fur covered – hand. His whole body was now covered with brown fur. He raised his head, scratching on the wall with his giant horns and looked at the person before him, who gestured for him to stand up. Slowly, he got up from sitting position to standing, with a look of suffering on his face. The tormentor before him smiled contently after eyeing him critically.

There he was, Naoki Kashima, known to some as the Demi-fiend, one of the strongest demonic entities who could stand up to celestial beings... And win. Now completly unhappy and embarassed, he stood before his girlfriend – Chiaki, dressed in reindeer costume, along with a glowing red nose attached to the end of his 'snout'.

„Oh, don't make such a face." Chiaki said, trying not to laugh at her boyfriend's dismay. „It's the first time our school was selected for such a play. It should be an honor. Just get it done and over with. It's not the end of the world."

„Yeah… It feels much worse…" muttered Naoki.

At that Chiaki chuckled slightly and took Naoki's face in her palms. „Alright, here's a little treat to make you feel better." And with that she kissed him lightly on the lips.

Naoki's face shifted slightly to a deep shade of red at the sudden kiss, even if he was supposed to be used to them by now. But he didn't had the time to ponder at that though, as he felt he felt a pair of hands pushing him towards the stage. When he finally found himself on the on the stage, he cast a quick glance at the audience and in second row he spotted Isamu…Who had an impish smile…And a video camera. „Where is Conception when you need it?" He thought.

„…or maybe I should try to use the Terminal in the hospital's basement, connect with Amala network, block the internet and thus stop Isamu from posting it on youtube…" Naoki's train of thoughts was stopped by an irritated voice by his side.

„Are you even listening to me?" Isamu nudged his friend, finally getting his attention. They were walking back home from school after finished play. Chiaki was released a few hours earlier, along with some other students. Once Isamu realised that his fifteen minutes long monologue fell on deaf ears, he huffed and instead of repeating his rant, she shortned it to a single question. „What did you get Chiaki for Christmas?"

That got reaction out of Naoki, as red alert sounded off in his mind. „Oh shit!" He grabbed Isamu by shoulders and stared to shake him frantically. „How much time we have till the stores are closed!?"

„WE?" asked isamu after he freed himself from Naoki's nervous grasp. „YOU are dating the scary tsundere. Don't drag me into this!" He put his arms defensively in front of himself, and started to walk away.

Naoki scowled and grabbed his friend by the collar. „You gave Ms. Takao idea of putting me in the Christmas play. Now you'll repent!" he said dragging Isamu towards the shopping district.

Chiaki was in her room, sitting near the window, absentmindedly staring at the falling snow. She decided to take a break from Christmas preparations and found herself lost in thoughts. A pile of presents was laying on her desk. All of them for her, mostly from her female friends, some from they boys from her class, out of courtesy, but also quite a few from guys who couldn't take a hint that she was already taken… Or didn't want to accept the fact that she chose someone from below her social class. The very shiny and expensive set of jewellery that Ryouhei gave her, was undoubtedly supposed to underline that fact.

As she finally pushed Naoki on the stage, she sighed and proceeded to help with the rest of „behind the scene" work. That's when Ryouhei voice came from behind her.

„Hi Chiaki. Quite a hectic time, isn't it?" He greeted her as Chiaki turned to face him, trying to maintain neutral look on her face. „I hope, I didn't disturb?" Ryouhei said smiling broadly.

Meanwhile, Chiaki was fighting with a scowl that threatened to appear on her face. Keeping her voice calm, she answered as civil as she could. „Actually, as you noticed it's quite hectic. And I have some things to do right now."

Ryouhei waved his hand dismissively and pulled something from his jacket. „I won't take long. I only wanted to wish you Marry Christmas and give you this." he said presenting something, about the size of a cigar box, as his smile went even wider.

Chiaki stared at the box, wrapped with red ribbon, but without a pack paper and with transparent cover. Inside contained a golden necklace and a pair of earrings, as well as two rings. All of them decorated with small gems. All in all, it resembled a display in a jewelery store. And that was probably Ryouhei's intention. She glanced around, catching a more or less discreet stares from students nearby. Soon everyone will know that Ryouhei bough her a Christmas present that must have cost a small fortune.

She wanted to take the box and smack it in his face, but once again she subdued her dislike for the guy. She still haven't forgot how he forcefully kissed her few months ago. But he apparently forgot how she answered… Or maybe not. Now she couldn't actually hit him, as there were witnesses and he wasn't making any advances. He was just polite and was handing a Christmas gift. Nothing suspicious in itself, but in reality a calculated demonstration of his status and "generosity". She could refuse of course, but he would be "politely" stubborn and eventually she would lose her temper and cause a scene. Chiaki didn't want to make unnecessary ruckus, so she decided that acting polite would be the smoothest and fastest way to make him go away.

She forced a small smile on her face and took the box from his hands. „My… It's beautiful. Thank you…" Chiaki said, trying to sound sincere, while at the same time, she wanted to grit her teeth at the glances she was getting from people around.

Ryouhei waved his hand flippantly to show that it's nothing big for him and smiled with what seemed to be triumphant smile. „Ah, you fully deserve them." he stated. „But now, I shall not take anymore of your time. I'll go now." And with that, he to walked away.

„Bye." Chiaki said shortly, and as soon as he turned his back to her, smile vanished from her face and she once again had to fight with the urge to scowl. At moments like this she wished, that she still had her fiendish powers. How she would like to turn that guy into fly… At that thought she actualy smiled sincerely… Even if it was an evil smile. She put the box aside and got back to work, half mindedly hoping, that someone would steal it and take it away from her.

But there it was, lying on her desk along with the other gifts. Actually, now there was nothing stopping her from throwing it away… But after a brief consideration, she decided to put it into some charity can. At least it would have some positive use...

On her bed however, there were two gifts designed for someone else. Namely for Isamu and Naoki. Finding a gift for Isamu wasn't a problem – a ridiculosly large sombrerro was a perfect way of teasing him about his hat he seemed to never take off. However getting something for a boyfriend needed a bit more though pu into it. During her search for a present, she pondered about buying him a game, knowing he likes them, but at the same time she felt that she should find something more meaningfull and original, because she felt that this Christmas are special… Every holiday this year was special. They were actually together, after surviving apocalypse and breaking free from their inner, dark desires. They achieved happiness that didn't seem to be possibile. Therefore, her search for the last present in this meaningfull year drove her through many shops and districts. Some of them she wouldn't even normally go to. Eventually she run into a strange guy in an empty, back alley…

Chiaki was frustrated. She visited an uncountable amount of shops and considered a lot of potential gifts, and always it seemed that they were missing something. Eventually her search brought her here. Shady and rather unfriendly neighborhood, that strangely she couldn't recognize. Unsavory peddlers were selling some second handed goods, but even among them she couldn't find something truly correct. Frustrated she decided to go back to the main shoping district, but for now she had to get out of this part of city. Dark, empty alleys could nest people of the worst kind. Suddenly, she heard a sharp whistle. Turning her head, at the end of narrow blind ended alley, she noticed a little stall, with someone waving at her.

„You've gotta be kidding me…" she muttered to herself. A mysterious vendor in a suspicious place. This scene felt damn cliche in her opinion. It could be used in so many types of lame movies, from horrors to fantasy. Looking around however, she didn't notice any signs of trap or immidiate danger.

Sighting, she actually moved towards the stall. Shadows from the tall buildings around, kept the area in gloom. But despite the low light surrounding the makeshift shop, she noticed that it was filled with figurines, small toys, some kind of souvenires and other sort of random crap no one really needs, but some like to collect. It was actually warm around, thanks to portable heater standing next to peddler. The peddler in question was a young man. Actually not much older than her. A four year older at best and that would be a stretch. He wasn't Japanese nor Asian, yet he was wearing what seemed to be a traditional Vietnamese dress... Worn by women.

Deciding that her thoughts were going into weird direction, Chiaki focused in his face instead. He had very long black hair, silvery shining eyes and was wearing a smile that internet memes would happily qualify as "rape face".

The last fact gave Chiaki a rather disturbig image, but she shrugged it of quickly as the guy spoke.

„What do you serach for?" Surprisingly, he didn't have some creepy voice, but sounded rather… calming.

„I'm looking for a Christmas gift for my boyfriend." Chiaki replied. „Straight and to the point. The faster I check this one out, the faster I'll can out of here." she thought.

„People normally don't come in here for Christmas shopping," he chuckled.

"You don't say..." Chiaki thought sarcastically, before she heard the peddler speak again.

„Are you looking for something special?"

„You could say that…" she answered.

After that, he seemed to think for a while, from time to time casting a glance at her. After recovering her memories from Vortex World, Chiaki rarely felt afraid, even less of people. And usually that fear instantly turned into anger and battle instinct. But this guy was seriously starting to creep her out. And why was she sure that she was hearing a faint „Ride of the Valkyrie's" coming God knows where from?

Finally, the shopkeeper snapped his fingers. „I think, I have an idea!" he stated, then dug into a huge card box that stood behind him. Moments later, he pulled some black bundle, and handed it to Chiaki. „I'm sure this will be good." he said, still smiling.

Chiaki took the bundle in her hands. It felt like leather. „Jacket?" she thought, unable to say for sure in this dim light. And she also didn't exactly want to unwrap it just to check it. Not here... „How much is it?" she asked wanting to finally go away from here.

The peddler only waved his hand. „It's Christmas, and I'm already done for today. Just take it as a present." And with those words, he indeed, started to pack his small „shop".

„Ok… Thanks I guess…" she muttered and walked away at fast pace.

„Feel free to come again!" Young man's shout chased after her for a while, bouncing as an echo amongst the dark buildings.

„No way in hell!" She promised to herself.

And that was the last merchant she met. After that she returned home and was stuck with the strange purchase. But after checking it, she decided it actually may be fairly decent gift. Now, all wrapped up, it waited for the moment to be handed.

For a moment, the peddler's face flashed before Chiaki's eyes and made her frown. Why did she act in a manner so…unlike her? His appearence had no reason to frighten her. He looked weird, but even if he did had any indecent movements planned, she was pretty sure she could beat him enough to change his mind - or incapacitate. Whichever came first.

So why did she act like a little child staring at the closet afraid that the monster will come out of it?

„Ugh!" She angrily huffed and shook her head, banishing the encounter from her memory. Sudden sound startled her, but soon she recognized it as a her own cellphone. Checking the number, Chiaki saw it was Ms. Takao's and remembered that she almost didn't talk to her today since most of their time at school was absorbed by the play. Curious about what her teacher have to say, she answered the phone.

„By the power of Greyskull…" Were words that found their way out, from Isamu's wide opened mouth.

„Abandon all hope, ye who enter here…" Naoki summed up, the sight that stood before them.

That was it. They inevitably found themeselves here. The frantic chase after present, had led them to one of the biggest shopping centre in Tokyo. Giant multi-story building, where you could find nearly everything if you knew where to look. And it was CHAOS. People, over people and even more people, pushing, punching and shouting everywhere. At some isles battle over latest trend merchandise was so intense, they where biting each other.

„How are we supposed to find a present for Chiaki in here, let alone survive!?" Isamu had to shout to be heard at all.

„Come on. We've been through worse." answered Naoki, moving deeper into the crowd.

„Whe were?" Isamu asked disbelievingly. „Anyway, what are you planning to buy? Jewelry?"

Naoki shrugged his arms. „It would be good I guess, but first of all, I'm short on money, so it can't be anything too expensive. Second, I can't eve see a jewelery store in this mess."

Isamu suddenly chuckled. „Then what? Underwear? Erotic one maybe? Edible?" He joke-suggested with wide smile.

Naoki promptly went red. That point of relationship with Chiaki he hadn't reached yet. „S-shut up or I'll punch you!" He threatened, however he did not turn to his friend so he couldn't see the color on his face.

They got out of the crowd, pushing and shoving the various hardcore shoppers, fearing for their lives, when they reached an isle that has been already emptied and they stopped to catch their breath and rethink their options. However, they were denied the moment of rest when an amused and painfully familiar voice sounded in their ears.

„Hey! Isn't that an Failure and Orphan Failure?" shouted Ryouhei as he approached them with a mocking smile and hands tucked in his pockets.

„Uhh… Just great." Isamu groand and facepalmed as Naoki's eyes narrowed and he barely stopped himself from baring his teeth and growling, when Ryouhei once again brought his parents topic up. Yep. Demonic habits were hard to get rid off.

„What are you doing here?" Isamu asked, clearly annoyed.

„Me? I just have an appointment here." Ryouhei said waving his hand towards a small but visibly stylish cafe, with a few people inside. One of patrons was looking at them from through the window. Apparently that was Ryouhei's pal. „But seeing how you two are running around like a pair of headless chickens, I assume you failed to buy Chiaki a gift, Kashima."

„That's not your bussiness." Naoki grumbled is response. It was so hard to control his anger in presence of this asshole. Especially when the asshole had a point.

Ryouhei only shrugged his arms. „Probably. After all Chiaki already recieved my present, so I doubt she will care or even remember that you didn't gave her any. Besides, what cheap trinkents could you possibly offer her?" Ryuohei stated, smiling evilly.

At that, even Isamu felt his irritation turn to anger. Indeed he and Chiaki were bickering on daily basis, but she was still a friend and the way Ryouhei said it… It sounded like she is someone who can be bought with presents. He cast a glance at Naoki and saw that his lips were pressed into thin line, a murderous intent in the eyes of the other teen.

Indeed. Naoki felt like strangling the asshole right here and now. What was stopping him, was the fact that Chikai wouldn't approve such extremes… And that, they where surrounded by witnesses. And then, suddenly - like an enlighment from a troll god, Nyarlothep itself - an idea popped in Naoki's mind. He whistled loudly and shouted, „Last minute sale!" At the same time, he pointed somewhere behind Ryouhei and instantly, grabbed a dumbfounded Isamu by the arm, dragged him on the ground and they crawled under empty shelf, as a sweating, stinking, kicking and shouting human wave wiped out the surprised Ryouhei. Naoki was now convinced, that even all candelabra guardians, including Dante, couldn't be more devastating than a brainless mob known as „the last minute shoppers."

Both teens crawled out from their hiding place and dusted themselves.

„Ok. That was weird." Isamu commented. „But we still don't have any present."

Naoki sighed and rubbed his temples. „Let's split up." He said. „We'll cover more terrain."

„Ok. How are we dividing food and water ratio? Do we have any flare guns? What about first aid kits?" Isamu tried to joke, but the tired and unamused glare from his friend stopped him. „Ok. I'll go now…" And with that, he disappeared in the crowd.

It was hopeless. Naoki checked many stores, but they were either already out of anything appropriate for Chiaki, or prices were far beyond his current budget. He was already on borderline between giving up, and stealing, when he felt something hit him in the head. Surprised, he looked around and saw a paper ball next to him. Soon another one bouned off his head. This time following direction of the hit, he saw a small kiosk with a young girl with a bored expression, standing behind the counter, another paper ball ready to throw just in case. When she noticed she finally have his attention, she gestured for him to come closer.

When Naoki came to the stand – slightly annoyed - she tossed the paper ball to the bin. She had a big black eyes with strange silver glint, slightly pouty lips and long black hair made into braid. She was definitely a foreigner, but she had no trouble with Japanese language.

„You seem to search for something... In vain." she stated, briefly looking at Naoki's face and then returned her gaze to the bleached stickers on the counter. Even during talk with a client, she seemed bored.

„Well, I'm actually looking for something for my girlfriend." Naoki answered, not sure if the girl even truly listened to him.

„Have you considered jewellery?" she asked, not even raising her eyes.

„Yeah, but that's a bit costy and… Besides, I'm not sure if I get a girl's taste," stammered a bit embarassed Naoki. After all, he was with Chiaki for some time already,and he shouldn't have this many problems in finding what she likes… Should he?

The girl again fixed her eyes on him, sighted in what seemed to be exasperation and reached under the counter, pulling out a fishbowl with a lot of paper pieces inside. „Why don't you try my lottery? Maybe you will win something that your girl will like?" she asked, still sounding completly uninterested in her job.

Naoki stared at the makeshift lottery for a while with mixed feelings, before deciding to give it a try. After all, his current efforts were uneffective, so what did he have to lose?

Few minutes later, Naoki had a plushy hippo, two lollipops, a cheap watch, and a bunch of „Try Again" coupons.

„Wow… You suck at this," the girl stated apathetically. „I had no idea there were so many empty coupons…"

„Gee, thanks. I didn't noticed." Naoki remarked sarcastically with a clear irritation in his voice.

„You're out of cash already?" the seller asked, sounding as bored as ever.

Naoki checked his pockets. There was still some money left. Enough to buy a few more coupons, but not enough to buy actual present. He had no option but to carry on with the lottery. Wishing that he used more of the Luck Incense while still in Vortex World, he handed money to the girl, mixed his hand for a while in aquarium and finally pulled out with a few coupons. As expected almost all of them empty, but unexpectedly, one of them had a small star inside.

„Ehh… What does this mean?" Naoki asked showing girl the coupon.

„My… It seems that you don't suck completly," With these words, girl pulled out a small box from under the counter and opened it. Inside was massive golden bracelet, carved with hieroglyphs and tiny reliefs with Egyptian motif.

Naoki stared in wonder. „I won THIS? How much is it normally worth?"

„Not that much," the seller replied shrugging her arms. „It's merely a replica. My brother's hobby."

But still, the braclet was something to admire. Every carving was made with care and precision, intricately shaped and detalic. Even if false and homemade, it was still a beautiful piece of art.

„Ok, stop gawking at this. Just take it and go to your girlfriend before Christmas ends!" The girl made a „schooing" gesture at Naoki like she was talking to a small child.

Naoki smiled, took his prizes and after saying his thanks, he run away to find Isamu.

Talking with Ms. Takao left Chiaki slightly embarassed and nervous. How is it that their teacher always seemed to know everything concerning them… Oh right... Isamu's brain stops functioning on it's own whenever Ms. Takao asks him for a favor. But that wasn't a problem right now. The problem was certain „three word issue" that Ms. Takao reminded her about. Engrossed in her musings, she was actually startled at a sudden knock to her room.

„Chiaki?" asked her fathers voice. „Are you still there?"

„Yes, what is it?" she asked through closed door.

„Your friend has came here but a moment ago." Was her father's reply.

Chiaki's mind started to run quickly „What? Already? But I still didn't…" She breathed deeply, calming herself. „Alright. Let him in."

And a minute later, Naoki entered to her room holding a bag in his hand and smiling warmly. She returned the smile and they both sat on the bed, in silence. Suddenly neither of them knew what to say. At last, Naoki coughed.

„Uhm… I'll go first I think…" He pulled a package out of the bag and smiling brightly, he handed it to Chiaki. „Merry Christmas!"

Chiaki took the present and unwrapped it, rather than of tear the paper apart. She was greeted by a plushy hippo, holding… At the sight of bracelet her eyes actually went wide with surprise. She knew pretty well how Naoki stood with his finances, so how could he afford to get something like this?

„How… How much it costed?" Chiaki stammered, eyes glued to the really unexpected gift.

Naoki smiled half proudly, half apologetically. „Actually I won it on lottery… Along with the hippo. Sorry to disappoint, but it's not real."

Chiaki again smiled warmly and put the braceled on her wrist. „It's beautiful," she whispered and, without warning, she kissed Naoki deeply.

When they separated, both teens were catching their breath and Naoki was smiling broadly. „Wow! This could be qualified as my Christams gift already!" He chuckled.

Chiaki waved her hand with a smile. „Then be grateful, because I have an actual present as well." With that, she pulled her own pack. „I actually had no idea what to get for you, until one vendor suggested you may like this one." Chiaki said, handing a gift to her boyfriend.

Naoki took it from her hands and unpacked it, finding something black and leathery inside. He stood up and unwrapped the bundle from itself. It appeared to be a black, studded, gothic trench coat. Naoki actually never considered himself a goth, having never dressed like one. But for some reason, he liked this particular coat. It felt… Right. Upon closer inspection, he could see silver occultistic symbols and words down the sleeves and on the back. Naoki knew most of them already. And on the collar, with bold silver letters was embedded word „NOCTURNE".

Naoki stared at it for a while and finally he spoke again. „Cooool…"

Chiaki actually started laughing at this. Naoki sounded like small child that suddenly got an awesome toy.

Naoki smiled and folded his present and put it on the bed. „But I think it's to dark themed for Christmas. I'll put it on some other time."

And that was it. They once again sat in silence, enjoying each other's company. Or at least Naoki did. Chiaki was actually once again trying to find a proper words to solve the irritating „ILY" problem.

„I…" Chiaki started say, but stopped immediately.

„Hmm?" Naoki rised an eyebrow and looked at Chiaki, who appeared to have some inner struggle. He wasn't sure if he should say something or not, but suddenly, Chiaki shifted. She moved behind him and he could feel as she sat back to his back, leaning on him.

„I…" Chiaki began again. „I wanted to say, that this year was something unimaginable… We knew each other for years. But this year brough us to something completly new. Conception bared the horrible desires we…and particulary I…kept deep in our hearts…"

Naoki sat in silence, solemn expression on his face. He had a pretty good idea where Chiaki is going with this, so he did not interrupt.

„In my quest for my ideal world, I became a monstrosity that even demons considered evil." Chiaki continued, still not looking at her boyfriend. „Blind and deaf for anything that didn't supported my goal, I couldn't notice the fact that you are trying to reach the old me. And despite it all, you managed to save me from my worst enemy - my own insecurity… And even after, when I once again felt rage after recovering my memory, you still were pulling me from my own darkness… How much strength do you still have? Will you…" She suddenly stopped again, took a few breaths and continued. „Will you remain by my side from now on? Even if… I'll turn into your enemy for some reason again, will you still be there for me, like before and now?" she asked, frightened by the thought, yet still yearned to know.

Naoki took her every word into his heart, and answered without a doubt. „I'll stay by your side, till I die and beyond. Even if I have to fight Pale Rider again to keep the promise." Even if the last part may have sounded like a joke, his tone was completly serious. Moments later, he once again felt Chiaki shift behind him, and soon a pair of arms wrapped around his neck from behind and Chiaki put her head on his shoulder.

„I… I love you…" Chiaki finally managed to say what supposed to be said a long ago.

„I love you too." Naoki simply answered, taking her hand in his.

For a few minutes, they stayed like that, until Chiaki released him. And on her face slowly appeared a playfull smile. „You know… I think… I may have one more present for you…" Chiaki said with an expression he actually never saw before, as well as with blush on her face.

„Huh?" Naoki let a sound of surprise, then his eyes widened with realization of her "present" as he also blushed furiously. „Oh…"

And it was good that Chiaki's room had thick walls, because as the Christmas night fell behind the window, while mystical and happy as it is, for those two it definitely wasn't silent…