Fiona is the very first person that Imogen calls when she finds out that she has been accepted into the Vancouver College of Art and Design, her number one choice. She had been agonizing for weeks over whether or not she was going to get in, and she and her art professor went over her portfolio multiple times before it was all gathered together and submitted with the application.
Fiona, personally, had not one doubt in the world that her girlfriend was going to be accepted. Imogen was incredibly talented when it came to anything involving art, graphic design, or photography - she had included all three in her portfolio - but a small, selfish part of her wants Imogen not to leave. Vancouver is far. Vancouver is so, so far away. Over 2,600 miles away, to be exact, if Fiona chooses to stay in Toronto, or almost 2,000 miles if she goes back to New York with her family.
College has never been in the forefront of Fiona's mind. School isn't something that she has ever particularly liked, what with having to transfer so much and repeating her senior year. It wasn't that she wasn't intelligent - she's actually very smart, thank you very much - she just doesn't have the motivation that her brother or Holly J ever seemed to. She keeps her grades up enough to maintain a nice GPA but the idea of going to an Ivy League doesn't appeal to her at all, and she finds herself just shrugging whenever she's asked about her future university plans.
When Imogen squeals into the phone and tells Fiona how excited she is and how she can't believe that this is happening, Fiona is genuinely happy for her girlfriend. She really, truly is. "Oh, Imogen, I knew you could do it. I really did," she says, sounding breathless for some reason.
"Well, duh, of course you did! You're my biggest fan!" Imogen responds, before switching the topic to Fiona's own acceptance letters. Her guidance counselor had bullied her into sending out several applications but Fiona hasn't heard back from any of them yet. She's not sure if she even wants to go to any of them if she does get in, but there is one that she's somewhat interested in that has a pretty good fashion design major. Imogen has been encouraging her to look more into that one, saying that Fiona has always had a good eye for fashion.
As Imogen talks, Fiona lays back on her bed, closing her eyes, wondering what this time next year will be like. She hopes that they'll be like this, still talking on the phone comfortably, still dating, still happy. There's a sudden tightness in her chest and tears in her eyes and, God, why is she so emotional? She cuts Imogen off mid-sentence. "I love you."
"Oh, well, I love you too?"
"I just - I just really wanted you to know that."
Fiona can hear Imogen's smile through the phone. "I always know that, silly. You don't even have to say it for me to know. Although it is nice to hear."
The tightness eases a bit and Fiona finds she can breathe again.
—
Their summer together consists of going to graduation parties for the first few weeks, beach trips, movie nights, dates, and just general being around one another.
Imogen chose Vancouver. There was never any other choice. Fiona chose Ryerson University purely for their Fashion School, located in Toronto. Every time she thinks about it the number of miles separating them beats a tattoo in her chest: two thousand six hundred, two thousand six hundred, two thousand six hundred.
Fiona's favorite thing that the two of them do during the summer is when they take Imogen's dad's truck and just drive. It doesn't matter where they end up, because wherever it is they always open the back, spread out a blanket, and look up at the stars (even if it is a little hard with the city lights dimming them). That's when their shoulders will touch and their hips press against one another and they're so close that if they turn their heads even slightly their noses brush.
They talk quietly, in whispers, like someone could overhear them even though they're all alone. It's those moments Fiona knows she's going to miss because she's not sure when she'll ever really have Imogen all to herself again after they leave in late August.
Imogen's hand finds Fiona's in the darkness and she drags it up onto her stomach, letting their clasped hands rest there, a thumb rubbing over Fiona's knuckles. Something rises in Fiona's chest against her throat, and she tries to fight back the words, but she can't.
"Imogen, everything is going to be different when we leave."
Imogen turns, shifting her body away a bit so that she can see Fiona more clearly, and there are lights reflecting off of her glasses in a way that Fiona can't see her eyes, and all Fiona wants to see right then are her eyes.
"Of course they will, Fi. We're going to college! Things are going to be a lot different. I mean, we'll be living away from home and we'll be in dorms and going to lecture halls and I'll be in this super cool artsy school and so will you - "
"No, Imogen, I mean things will be different with us."
Imogen falls quiet, suddenly understanding the meaning behind Fiona's words. The silence stretches on for so long that Fiona starts to sit up, thinking that this was a bad idea, but Imogen pulls her back down. "Fiona, don't be an idiot. Just because we're going to college doesn't mean that everything is going to change. You'll still be you and I'll still be me and, yeah, we might grow and meet new people - friends, by the way - but we can make it work because we love each other. That's what people do."
She stops and smiles at Fiona, reaching out to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear before cupping her face. "If we go into it thinking all negatively then it's not going to work. So just shut up and sit here and enjoy being with me and then when the time comes we'll figure out Skyping times and we'll call each other every night and when I know you're in a lecture I'll send you naked pictures of myself just to be a jerk."
Imogen's entire speech has Fiona's heart swelling and for the first time in weeks she doesn't feel any kind of dread, and then Imogen has to throw the last line in and she goes bright red. Imogen laughs and slips off the bed of the truck and Fiona splutters, speechless for one of the first times in her life. "I - you - Imogen Felicity Moreno!"
She clambers off the back of the truck and takes off after Imogen, who is still laughing hysterically, and finally catches her around the waist. They tumble down when Imogen goes off-balance and Fiona ends up on top of her, smiling fondly down at her.
"Hey."
"Greetings."
"I kinda like you."
"You're not so bad yourself."
"You just make me really happy."
"I love you."
—
Fiona gets bad news from her mother when she's told that the lease on their apartment will be up at the end of the summer when Fiona officially moves into her dorm at university. The repercussions of this don't quite hit Fiona until later, when she realizes that this means that her breaks and summers will be spent in New York with her family and not in Toronto with Imogen.
It's sort of like her chest is cracking open because the times that she depended on now to see her girlfriend have been taken away and it's going to be ten times harder for the two of them now. Her chest is cracking open and she can't keep everything inside for very much longer.
—
The day Imogen leaves for school is the day Fiona considers just not getting out of bed. Maybe if she doesn't see her one last time, maybe if they don't do the dramatic goodbyes, it won't seem as real. This is the next four years of their lives, they're talking about, after all. They're going in at eighteen years old, young and naive to the ways of the world (well - Imogen is, at any rate) and they're going to come out at twenty-one completely different people. What if those people don't mesh together anymore? The thought makes Fiona groan and she rolls over, pulling her pillow over her head and hoping to block out the rest of the world, hoping she'll fall back asleep and wake up and have this be a dream.
Her plan for the day is ruined when she hears a creaking noise, then a crash and a yelp, and she shoots up in bed, reaching to her bedside table and grabbing the first weapon she can think of: her hairbrush. Well. Maybe she can convince her potential murderer to let her braid their hair before they kill her.
"Oh, Mylanta!"
Fiona freezes, recognizing that voice instantly. "Imogen?" She crawls over to the other side of her bed and peers over the edge and, sure enough, her girlfriend is sprawled on the ground, holding her knee.
Imogen smiles sheepishly up at her. "Hi. I kinda wanted to come and wake you up 'cause, you know, it's the last time I'll be able to do it for a while, but I forgot how big the drop is and - "
Fiona bursts into tears. She just can't help it. Imogen is leaving and it's really only for nine months and then she'll be back again for another few months but then she'll leave again and the whole thing will go on for four years and she just can't handle it.
Imogen's up in a flash and in Fiona's bed, hugging her and rubbing her back and pressing her forehead against Fiona's temple. "Hey, hey, what's wrong? Don't cry, Fi, please, don't cry. You know I hate when you do, it makes me want to cry, too, and I don't want to cry on our last day together."
Fiona raises a hand, gesturing between the two of them. "That's the problem! This is our last day together! And then you're going to go to Vancouver and I'll stay here and then you'll come here for break and I'll be in New York and then you'll go back to Vancouver and then I'll be back here and then same thing will happen during the summer and - " she breaks off, fresh sobs wracking her body.
Imogen frowns, drawing back from Fiona a bit. "Fiona, we talked about this, didn't we?"
"I know we did, and I know I'm being stupid, but Imogen, how are you not worried about this at all? We're going to be on opposite sides of the country and we're going to be meeting so many people and leading separate lives and Skyping just isn't the same." Fiona uses the sleeve of her shirt to mop her tears, deliberately not meeting Imogen's eyes.
"Do you honestly think I'm not terrified?" Imogen's voice is scarily calm, and Fiona can't help but glance over. She's met with the most intense gaze and she suddenly feels so small. "I worry all the time that we're going to change into different people and that you're going to find someone else who's around more and who's better than me, or that we're going to get too busy for one another, or that one day we're just not going to click anymore. I really do. But I also think that if we just work at it and try to be positive, we're doing all we can. Fiona, we can't just worry all the time."
There's something about the way Imogen is speaking - not the words themselves, necessarily, but how she says them - that rings true with Fiona. She nods slowly, reaching out for Imogen's hand, which Imogen gives her without a second's pause.
"We can do this. It's not that bad. Four years will go by super fast, right?"
Imogen's face breaks out into a glorious smile. "Super fast, Fiona Coyne."
—
When Fiona and Imogen's dad drop Imogen off at the airport, the elder Moreno meanders off for a few minutes to let the girls say goodbye. There's a long minute where they just look at one another, like they're memorizing every last detail about this encounter. Imogen breaks first and leaps forward, engulfing Fiona in a hug so tight that every part of them is touching. Fiona sighs as they sway slightly, not letting go for far longer than is socially appropriate. Eventually Imogen's flight is called and they pull apart, Imogen trying to discreetly wipe a tear from behind her glasses.
"Hey, I thought you were the tough one here, Moreno," Fiona teases.
"I am. I just had, you know, a tree in my eye," Imogen deadpans.
Fiona's face softens and she leans in to cup Imogen's face, kissing her softly. Imogen responds instantly, arms twining around Fiona's neck to play with several of her curls. When they finish, Imogen leans her forehead against Fiona's.
"I'll call you as soon as my plane lands. We can do this."
"I love you, Im."
"Love you, Fi."
Imogen puts on a brave smile, picks up her luggage, and heads to the boarding area. She turns around and waves one last time before she heads in, and Fiona hugs her arms around herself.
She can do this.
—
The first month of university is difficult for Fiona. Transitioning from living the posh life that she has been to sharing a dormitory with three hundred other people is hard enough, but add into the mix the fact that her roommate is absolutely crazy, her classes are way harder than she thought, and that she hasn't made a single friend, and it's no wonder that she wants to cry all the time.
Imogen is her saving grace, though. Because of their three hour time difference, Fiona gets to wake up to adorable text messages from her girlfriend that manage to make her day, even though her roommate demands to know who they're from. They talk every night on the phone for at least twenty minutes, depending on whether or not Fiona's roommate is there or if Imogen has plans, and they have a standing Skype date on Tuesday and Thursday nights. It might seem a bit overboard to some people, but it's comforting for the two girls, especially Imogen who is so far from home.
Imogen is adjusting so much better than Fiona is, however, and has actually made quite a few friends. According to her, her professors find her work to be of high quality and her roommate is one of the cooler girls in the dorm and constantly gets Imogen invited to parties. Fiona can't say she's not jealous, but she's also happy that Imogen is settling in so well.
Now, if only she could find a way to emulate Imogen and start integrating herself socially.
—
It's not until halfway through the first semester that Fiona hits her groove socially. She happens to make a joke to the girl next to her in one of her classes and they end up talking after class and then they grab lunch together and she's introduced to Kirsten's friends.
They all seem impressed that she's from New York and that her family has money (for once Fiona isn't flaunting it and someone bluntly asks because of the shoes she's wearing) and it's nice to feel included for a change. Then the inevitable question comes: "So, do you have a boyfriend?"
Fiona has never been shy of her sexuality, not since she came out in high school, but she hesitates for the briefest of seconds before being honest. It is a fashion school, after all, so half of the students must be on some end of the LGBT spectrum. "I don't, actually. I do have a girlfriend, though."
Clara, one of the girls to Fiona's left, squeals. "Aw, that's so cute! Have you been dating long?"
"Since high school," Fiona answers, smiling a little down at her salad and stabbing at the lettuce.
"Are you guys going to stay together?" Devon, another one of the girls, asks.
Fiona raises her eyebrows in surprise. "Uh, yeah. Why wouldn't we?"
The other girls at the table exchange glances. "It's just that most people in relationships come to college and then end them in the first month or so. There's so many new people to meet and hook up with and stuff, and staying with someone from high school can kind of drag you down."
"I'm perfectly happy with Imogen, thank you," Fiona says, although now she can't help but wonder if Imogen's getting the same talk from people at her school.
—
Imogen calls her at eleven her time, nine Imogen's time. "Hi, baby!" she chirps into the phone, some kind of loud music in the background.
Fiona covers her other ear, squinting a little. "Im, what's that music?"
"Oh, sorry, that's my roommate. Hey, Alex, can you turn that down a little? Okay, thanks! Sorry, she's painting and she needs music while she's painting. So, how was your day?"
"It was…good." Fiona bites her lip, debating on whether or not to tell Imogen about the topic of conversation at lunch today.
"Only good? Did you not get the dirty texts I sent you?"
"You sent me dirty texts?" Fiona whips her phone away from her ear to check her messages only to be brought back by Imogen's laughter. "Ha ha, very funny, jerk. I hope I do get one of those one of these days." She drops her voice. "I miss you."
She can hear some shuffling on Imogen's end of the phone and then a clunk. "I miss you too, Fiona. So much."
"Some girls at lunch today were talking about how couples break up in the first semester of college because they want to hook up with other people." How had she let that slip out? She really needed to learn how to watch her mouth before she just started telling everyone everything that crossed her mind. Oh, Professor Prouty, that skirt is hideous and I'm quite certain one of your descendants was a toad.
"Are you telling me you want to break up?"
"What?! No! Imogen, oh my God, no!" Fiona pushes off of her bed, drops the foot or so the ground, and begins to pace, thanking God her stupid roommate isn't there. "I was just saying it because I thought it was stupid."
"Good, 'cause I think it's stupid too. Okay, look, Alex wants me to help her with this art thing, so I have to go, but we'll Skype tomorrow night, alright? I love you!"
"I love you too, honey."
—
The first week back at school after winter break is rough. Imogen was supposed to visit Fiona's family in New York for a week, but then something came up and she never did. So Fiona spent all of break with a dark cloud over her head and not even a visit from Holly J could help her.
Being back at school isn't helping because beyond the few girls she talks to at lunch or dinner once in a while, she still doesn't have many close friends. Imogen is still miles ahead of her in every single area of college, and Fiona's beginning to wonder if she's just that clingy girlfriend from back home who's dragging Imogen down with her now.
It gets so bad that she actually tries to get advice from her roommate one night. Heather knows a lot of what's going on because she's just plain creepy like that, but she can also be oddly insightful, so even though Fiona knows she's hit rock bottom there's bound to be something useful there. Heather listens, nodding in all the right spots, and then finally shrugs her shoulders. "Maybe you should break up with her, if you feel so doubtful about it. I mean, you're floundering over here like there's no tomorrow and she's doing so well, and it's a little weird."
Fiona wants to snap at Heather, telling her that someone like her calling someone else weird is the most ironic thing in the entire world, but she holds her tongue. "Thanks," she manages to force out before putting in her headphones and turning up the music.
—
Her last few months of freshman year zoom by in a blur. Her course load suddenly increases tenfold; she meets a couple of new people, and is persuaded to join the Gay-Straight Alliance on campus. A few of her designs are used as examples in classes and people stop her to tell her that they like her work. She and Imogen still talk regularly and things haven't gotten weird between them, and Fiona feels silly for ever entertaining the idea of breaking up with her.
Imogen calls her one night as she's packing up her things to go home, and Fiona answers with a grin on her face. "My lady!"
"Fiona Coyne! What might you be doing right now?"
"I would be packing for my return to New York, I believe. Why?"
"And where would this be occurring?"
"In my dorm room?"
"In what room?"
"342?"
There's a knock on the door and Fiona swears to God her heart stops. She drops her phone on her bed and rushes to open the door, tripping over a box in her haste. She pulls it open to reveal Imogen, one hand on the doorframe and the other on her hip, an eyebrow cocked suggestively upwards.
"Well, hello there, soldier."
Fiona's jaw literally drops and then she screams a little and Imogen screams and then Imogen is jumping onto Fiona and wrapping her legs around her girlfriend's waist. Fiona is literally crying into Imogen's shoulder, holding onto her tightly like if she lets go it'll all have been a dream.
Finally, though, she has to let Imogen go, and she slides back to the floor, smoothing down her skirt. Fiona shuts the door and turns back around, gesturing at Imogen. "How?"
Imogen grins, perky as ever. "Oh, you know, move out day was a few days early for me, and I thought that the first thing I'd do when I got back to Toronto was come and find my gorgeous girlfriend that I hadn't seen in nine months."
Nine months. Has it really been nine months? Fiona counts backwards in her head and realizes that, yes, it's been nine months. How she's survived a whole nine months without Imogen is beyond her but Imogen is in front of her now, scanning her up and down hungrily, and Fiona holds up a finger in a "wait" gesture before finding a blue scrunchie and fixing it on her doorknob.
She turns around and tilts her head at Imogen. "I never got those dirty texts you promised me, you know…"
—-
Summer is split between New York and Toronto for the girls. Nothing of importance happens and they simply spend their time being around one another again, falling in step with one another, and relearning what it's like to be around each other every single day.
Fiona gets the same ache in her chest in the days leading up to their return to college again, but it's lessened when Imogen looks at her with nothing but adoration and kisses her soundly. They got through one year, and they can get through three more.
—
Sophomore year goes off without a hitch.
—
So does junior year.
—
It's in senior year that the roadblock appears.
The two of them have matured and changed over the years, have grown up both mentally and physically and in their relationship, but they're still Imogen and Fiona. They still love each other more than anyone else in the entire world and they still call each other every night to say "I love you" and their Skype dates have been moved to Mondays and Wednesdays because of Imogen's work schedule, but at their core they're still them.
As the year is drawing to a close, the two girls are still in the process of figuring out what they're going to do after graduation. Both have been offered internships and even one job for Fiona that's not exactly high paying or glamorous but is a job. The problem is that the internship that Imogen is gravitating towards is in Vancouver and the internship Fiona has been offered is in New York.
Imogen has another internship that's in New York, too, but she doesn't want it nearly as much as the one in Vancouver, and as selfish as it is, Fiona really wants her to take it. They've been separated for so long and they were supposed to go back to normal after they graduated, but now it looks like they're just going to be apart some more, and maybe it's not even worth it anymore. She says as much when they're Skyping.
"Look, Imogen, if we're going to constantly be in different places, maybe this isn't meant to be," she reasons.
Imogen glares at her and stops toying with her stuffed giraffe that's been on the side of her desk. "Don't give me that crap. We'll figure something out."
Fiona sighs and rubs her forehead. "I just don't like fighting about it."
"I know; I don't either. They're just big decisions, is all."
"I just want to stay with you, you know?"
—
In the end, Fiona moves to Vancouver. She never wanted to go to university in the first place, and she never wanted to have to stay in Toronto. She wasn't excited about either of her options - internship or job offer - in New York or Toronto, and it seemed logical to move to Vancouver. Imogen got to accept her internship and, after a fight that they had that lasted a few days about how stupid Fiona was to just drop everything to come across the country for Imogen - they started to settle down.
Imogen wasn't thrilled to find out that they had to do "adult-y" things like find an apartment and furniture and pay rent and things like that, but Fiona was there to manage it at all. They start apartment shopping, looking at everything from scary one-room places with no ceilings to six bedroom penthouses that they have no plans to buy.
When they finally sign the lease on a nice two-bedroom apartment that's close to where Imogen will be working, Imogen leans into Fiona, puts her chin on the older girl's shoulder, and says, "I told you we could do it."