"I Wish You Were Really Here..."
A/N: So anyways another HnKnA Fan Fiction! I hope you all would like it! Yes it's long since it's not only one shipping. It's Alice x Julius/Boris/Dee/Dum/Elliot/Blood/Ace/ and Peter of course. Peter and Alice is the main shipping. The other guys are just expressing their love for Alice so that's why all of them are paired with her but in real Alice just loves Peter in this story. In the original HnKnA she falls in love with Blood which sucks =3=
Also Nightmare isn't here. Though I like him shipped with Alice it's just that he is the ruler or leader of the Country of Clover but since this story is focusing on Hearts then of course it's not Clover. Nightmare might appear in dreams but there ain't any dreams here in this story so well anyways~
I deeply apologize for grammatical mistakes and spellings too please do tell me right away if there are any major mistakes there ^^
Hope you enjoy reading another HnKnA Fic. of mines! Have fun reading everyone!
P.S: You'll need this. Just in case you see the word PM it means Prime Minister. :P
Inspiration: Vocaloid Music (OuO)
Genre: Romance/Hurt/Comfort/Tragedy/Drama
Rating: T
Staring at the dark peaceful night sky... I feel so calm and easy yet I feel so uneasy and panicked the same time... I stare at that night sky and it's so beautiful and so amazing yet it's so ugly... I wonder why.
Is it because... I am all alone?
Yes. That's right, I'm all alone. She's gone... not because she went back to her own world... but because... s-she's really gone. Forever gone... if she was just in her own world she still has a choice to come back but now she never will...
I wonder if she has lived an afterlife of someone else already... but I can't determine who she is if she lived her second life as someone else.
I wish I was there for her at that time when she needed me the most... that time when I had to protect her. If only I was there to save her then she could've been safe. I wouldn't mind at all if she was in her own world as long as she's happy but not this...
I don't want her to be gone... gone forever... and will never come back...
Staring at the dark, night, blue sky where the stars twinkle so brightly I see so much pain and happiness there. Seeing each star represent our achievements and failures... it's as if our life is a game and each night we see the night sky as our progress chart...
As one star sparkles so brightly it shows that we have achieved such an achievement. As for those who do not sparkle so brightly they are the tasks we did not do or achievements we failed to do.
Sometimes we have our own favourite stars we see each day of the night and it could mean that those are the favourite things you do everyday...
There are so many stars up in the heavens and that is just how many things you have done in that day... You might never believe you did so many things but our eyes always deceive us. The sun might be colour yellow but in real it's not. We never know because our eyes can see differently.
Just the same as stars, when you see a star so big and so bright the other might see that star as a small one that is very dim and dull.
Each and every one has their own way to shine, smile, and be happy. We each have our own life we should treasure not waste.
We only live once so be happy. Sometimes we think that we aren't really meant to live that's because your very troubled by so many conflicts. You're very troubled with so many happenings. That's because God knows you are strong that he's testing you to go through all these obstacles he made just for you.
Just remember that each day of our life is both an achievement and failure. We are never perfect but we can be almost perfect in our own ways.
As I stare at the sky I can feel warm tears rolling down my cheeks. I can feel my heart beating so fast, I can feel my chest tightening in pain. I want to scream out and cry but I do not want to show any weakness now that she's gone I-I...don't want to be weak when there is nothing to make me strong.
I have to be strong n matter how painful and lonely it might be. She might not be here with me but its okay! I'm sure I can recover and move on but it's too hard... It's too hard to recover from a broken heart especially if you treasure and love deeply that person.
I stare at my hands and yet I can't stop smiling and crying the same time. I can feel her hands on mines again even if she's not with me. I can see my palms under her small hands. Her small, frail hands that fit my hands.
I wish she was here so that both of us can watch the night sky...
If only I was there to protect her but no! That stupid Queen gave me so much work to do now I couldn't spend any time with her!
She spent her break time wandering in the forest making her end up with that stupid Knight that has no sense of direction at all!
'That stupid Knight... He'll pay for not protecting Alice when he was just there...' Peter cursed as he stared at his empty lonely hands with tears.
-~FlashBack~-
It was time for Alice's break and she spent that break wandering around the forest. The maids didn't let her but she insisted. Even if she's an outsider she knows the place very much rather then the Knight who lived in that place for so long already and yet he still doesn't know the way to each place and get lost too often.
Alice walked down the dirt path when the shrubs moved. She started to grow frightened when a figure appeared and it was just the Knight... Ace.
He just rubbed the back of his head as he laughed foolishly. Obviously he was lost but he didn't mind because he said that it's better to be lost.
Alice, of course doesn't want to be lost but his words were really deep.
"It's better to be lost so that you won't know what path you'd choose. It adds more fun and excitement to life! If you know which path to choose then that's too easy. Being lost is really...fun"
"Oi Alice! Nice meeting you here!" He said as he walked to her.
"Nice to meet you here... Again." Alice greeted back.
"So you're lost again huh?" Alice asked.
"Yeah I am. Want to go camping?" He said with a big smile.
Ace really looked like a little boy ready for camping but deep inside him he's a mad killer. Deep inside the Ace isn't the one who smiles brightly and thinks of everything as a happy thing. He's one mysterious guy...
"NO WAY! I don't want to get stuck again! And besides I only have two periods as my break." She huffed as she turned her back on him and on her way back to the Castle.
"Aww... that's a shame... and a period has already passed. It' already time that killers lurk around to kill a certain outsider."
Alice froze and knew that people had been targeting her a lot. She sighed in defeat and turned around to Ace as she went inside his tent.
Alice was sitting down across a smiling Ace inside the tent as they ate some marshmallows Ace toasted.
As they were eating shadows suddenly appeared outside the tent at the back of Alice. Ace noticed that and immediately slashed the tent, opening it as it revealed 3 faceless men.
Slashing each and one of their bodies he smiled in triumph. As he was finished he soon noticed blood flowing inside the slashed tent. His eyes widened in shock.
Breaking the tent he noticed the outsider lying down with eyes closed as her white apron became deeper blood red in colour.
He was frozen in... What is this feeling? He has never felt this before... What is this? Could it be he's feeling fear? Could this be the fear of losing her? But he never held any romantic feelings for her. Maybe it's because he'll never hear that heartbeat ever again.
Rushing to her he placed her head in his arms as he placed her head on her chest not minding if it was bloody at all. He could hear her heart beating so ever slowly and weakly.
At that exact time he wished he wasn't lost. He wanted to help her and yet he couldn't He wanted to bring her back to the palace but he doesn't know where the palace is. And tears soon fell... He never knew that tears could actually fall.
He knew he loved listening to her heart... Knowing its speed can change amazingly...
It was the first time he really felt lonely and even cried over someone who died...
"No... No... Alice... Don't go yet... I want to hear your heart more... I want t spend my camping days with you still... And the PM would kill me if he knew this so please don't go yet..."
Alice opened her eyes ever so weakly and smiled just once at Ace before closing her eyes again.
And in the split second everything was silent except for the ticking clock of Ace's heart. That monotonous sound...
Tick, Tock, Tick, Tock...
It was always the same... Nothing will ever change... And Alice will never be replaced by anyone... No one can ever replace an outsider's heart not even Julius for he repairs clocks, which are the hearts of the people who live in wonderland...
Ace shouted out so loud that each territory stared up in the sky as their eyes widened in fear and pain.
~O~
In the Clock Tower...
Julius was working on the clocks Ace had brought him before as he waited for new ones when he heard a shout,
"NOO! ALICE!"
'Alice... Don't tell me... oh no... S-She actually... is gone? She's gone already...?'
Julius remembered all the memories he had with her those precious times when she made coffee for him and not once he gave her a perfect score. He felt guilty of that. He wished he at least had given her a perfect score before she died. But...
Even if it wasn't perfect she was still happy of how it keeps on getting higher each time she gives coffee to him.
He promised to treasure each and every of those memories that had her in it.
He continued on with his work when his hands started to shake and droplets of water started to fall. That was when he finally when he noticed that it was the end... The end of that happy life.
Though he didn't show it. He was still happy that she was there worrying about his health and how she gives him coffee.
He fell on his chair as he held the floor crying bursting out how he really feels. He really would miss her...
'Alice... I never told this to you but I really love you and yet I'm too late to say how I truly feel about you... I know I have no chance of gaining your love but I'd feel much better if I actually confessed to you... I wish you were really here...'
~O~
In the Amusement Park...
Gowland was again throwing a wonderful (Not really) Violin performance making everyone cover their ears when they heard a really loud shout.
"NOO! ALICE!"
Gowland and Boris widened their eyes as the word Alice rang in their ears.
'Could it be that the young lady is actually gone...?' Gowland thought as he was scared of the thought.
'N-No... No way... There's no way Alice would die! She won't die yet! No... No... Why? I wanted to spend my days with her... I confessed to her and yet she hasn't responded to my confession to her but I don't' mind at all as long as she'll still be with me and hang out with me I'm happy! So Alice... why did you have to die...?"'
Boris fell on his knees as he gripped the cobbled path. Tears were falling ever so warmly and painfully... Oh he'll never forget each and every day he had spent with her. Oh how he'll never forget those times he was with her riding those crazy rides here in the amusement park.
He'll never forget each time she asked help from him whether its comfort or not he'll never forget those days. Though he already knew that she fell in love with a certain white rabbit which he never thought... He was still happy because he knows that she'll be happy with him but her happiness will never be granted for it all ends...
Her journey ends...
'Alice... I wish you were really here...'
~O~
The Mad Hatters' Mansion...
The twins who ditched worked was scolded by Elliot was back to work with Elliot watching them for the moment. The twins were disappointed because they wanted to visit their Big sister when all three heard a loud shout,
"NOO! ALICE!"
All three snapped their attention to the word Alice. They couldn't believe what they just heard... is it true that she actually died? That she actually is really gone?
Dee and Dum held each other's hand as they prayed that it wasn't true but it can't be helped... it was really... true...
'Onee-san... you didn't have to go so early yet! I wish... that brother and I had confessed to you earlier... I wish that you were really here with us...' Dee thought.
He treasured each precious day he spent with his brother and Alice, the days he loved the most... He wished that it would never end but it has come to end... it was too early for the young brothers... they wanted to spend more days with their big sister until they die! They have so many years to live and yet it felt as if it shortened so much.
His life has become shorter now that lice was gone his life was dull.
'Onee-san... Why? Why did you leave me and Dee? We wanted to play with you more... I wish that we could've confessed our feelings to you... we really love you and yet we were too late... We know you love the PM but still! We wanted to still spend our days with you playing! Listening to your stories or something! I wish you were really here...'
Elliot noticed the twins crying as they both fell on their knees. His ears drooped as he felt warm tears form at the corners of his eyes.
He'll miss that girl... no one would ever make those delicious and sweet carrot sweets for him. He loved how she cooks... how she makes sweets for him. She was special to him in a way. He wished that she could've stayed longer but he understood that everything has an end but it didn't have to be THIS early...
They should've waited until all the current role holders died so that they can be with Alice the same time. It was far too early for Alice to die...
'Alice... we'll miss you... To tell you the truth I fell in love with you also... your sweet scent... your sweet voice... you might be strict sometimes but I really love it... I hope that one day we can meet again... I miss your cooking and I miss you so much... I wish you were really here...'
Elliot just stood there with his arms crossed and his head down as tears fell from his face. He was crying that's for sure. Never had the mafia members cried and even cry for someone but... Alice... she was special to everyone...
Elliot and the twins were just there crying as it was too painful for them to bury that all their feelings blurted out.
~O~
In Blood's Office...
As they were outside the Boss, Blood Dupre was in his office signing papers when he heard a shout,
"NOO! ALICE!"
Blood snapped up as he froze and stopped signing as soon as he heard the name, Alice. He felt guns shoot his clock but no blood was gushing out or bangs that were heard.
He was feeling too much pain that he could feel tears forming. He tried to stop them for he was a Mafia boss. Why would a Mafia boss cry over someone who died anyway?
Standing up from his seat he went to his window and saw the main gates where the twins are guarding but to him the twins aren't guarding but crying instead. Crying so hard for they miss their big sister...
Near the two was Elliot who was just standing there leaning against a brick wall with his arms crossed and crying.
Blood knew all three fell in love with Alice and they treasured her very much and even he did... He has to admit it that he really did fall in love with the young lady... He really misses her so much the he asked himself why she has to die... She was still young and she still had so many years to live...!
With his arms crossed he fisted his hands as his bit his lip convincing himself he won't cry over something this simple. He knew it wasn't so simple not to cry over someone who died especially if it is someone you treasure the most... you care for the most... the one you would protect the most... the one you love the most...
He really did love her... he loved her so much...
Turning his back and leaning against the window he noticed his hands filled with droplets of tears. He was so angry how pathetic he is but at the same time he was so pained... it was the very first time he felt so weak and lonely. He felt like a little boy who was lost and wanted to be with his parents already...
But in his situation he wanted to be with Alice...
'Alice... I might be rude to you seducing you when I see you but I really just want your attention... I know you don't love me but still just pay attention to me when you're in this mansion... I want you to look at me only when we have tea... I am so selfish... I want you here... I need you here... I love you Alice... I wish I could've confessed to you... I wish we could spend our days together... I love you so much Alice... so much that I can't control my tears... Why did you have to die Alice?! I wish you were really here...'
~O~
Heart Castle... The last territory... where the Prime Minister, Peter White is... The one who kidnapped Alice to wonderland to be happy and forget those sad and painful memories... He loved Alice dearly so much that he didn't want her to be pained anymore that lead to kidnapping her.
He knew that Alice hates him but he always tried no matter how painful each time she says 'I Hate You' , 'I'll Never Fall In Love With You' or something like that he still tried because he knew that one day she WILL soon love him back.
He didn't mind how many times it would take him because he really knows that Alice WILL love him back one day... That's for sure...
Peter was again stressed as he heard that the Queen locked herself up in her room again.
He couldn't understand because the Queen was really acting weird after Alice's break. He was worried not because of the queen but because something might happen to Alice. He knew that it's not safe for Alice who was an outsider to go outside the castle without anyone to protect her since many faceless has been targeting the outsider for either money or something.
Peter knew that it wasn't safe so before Alice's break he insisted for her to just stay in the castle but she refused. Again it hurt him but never did he show any pain or hurt. He was just worried normal. He knew that Alice wanted to go to the forest and wander around and he knows that Alice knows the place very well already but even so she can't fight many people at once.
She has no skills in fighting at all. He wanted to accompany her but the Queen sent too many work for him. He was deeply stressed and annoyed because he wanted to spend time with Alice.
Peter then continued to do is work ignoring the issue with the Queen.
~O~
In The Queen's Room...
'Alice...'
Just after hearing a loud shout she locked herself up in her secret room. She hugged her favourite teddy bear as she cried and cried.
She really cared for the young girl... She was sweet, caring and everything a man could wish for. She was perfect. Vivaldi really cared for her like a little sister maybe it's because she does have a big sister complex since he is the big sister of Blood.
Though she'll never meet Alice again she hopes for everyone to be okay. She knows that everyone has fallen in love with the outsider and they know that her loss is painful.
She hugged her bear tighter as she cried more and drifted off to sleep.
'I wish she was really here...'
~O~
Peter was finally finished with his work and he stretched his arms as he walked outside going to look for Alice when he heard a shout,
"NOO! ALICE!"
'Alice? Dear God what happened?!'
Just as he heard the name Alice he froze in his spot as he felt numb. He couldn't believe what he just heard. Just as that shout rang through his ears he could feel his vision turn pitch black. He could feel the loneliness of his life. His heart buried in pain.
He could feel his tears forming as it rolled down his cheeks falling on the cold floor. He could feel the dullness of his life... That flat line... It was as if the heart beat of the dead... everything was dull...
He knew that she's gone... gone forever... never will she come back...
Peter fisted his hands as he fought his tears but it was no use... going to his room and locking his door he pulled out his gun as he shot his things.
Who wouldn't be this sad when you knew the girl you loved the most is... dead? Who would be glad to know that the person you treasure the most... the person you would risk your life for will just... go away...
It was too sad... Too depressing... The white rabbit had never felt this pained before... it was so much more painful that Alice's hatred. Though she always says that she hates him it was as if those were so beautiful to hear... it was so much better... But why is it so painful?
Shooting the big glass window he walked there as he jumped out going to the forest. Even if she is dead he would be able to find where Alice's body is. No matter what her condition is., whether or not her heart is beating he would always find her. Whether or not she's far he'll always be able to find her.
Running past the tall trees and on the dirt path he could smell blood. He knew he was getting nearer and to his surprise he saw a torn tent...
Blood surrounded the torn tent and inside that were two figures... A Knight who was covered in blood as he cried while carrying a girl's frail and soulless body, the body where a soul that everyone loved so much... The pure and innocent, sweet Alice...
The knight cried as much as he can with no stop at all as he held the bloody girl's body. He didn't know what to do as he knew it was his fault why she is gone... because of his stupidity he led the girl he treasured the most to her end.
Because of his idiotic actions he killed Alice. He never intended to do so... it was an accident... He never wanted that to happen.
Peter stood there angrily as he pulled out his gun and walked slowly to the two figures. Pointing his gun at a certain brunette's head he glared darkly. His eyes... Those red eyes that showed such anger, pain, grieve, sadness, loneliness, regret, depression and so much more.
Ace had never seen Peter with so many emotions in those strict red eyes of his. Ace had never felt so weak... he couldn't smile no matter how much e tries.
He usually just smiles after a sad thing but never had he experienced a sad thing in his life that was until Alice died...
"Explain." Peter said in a low voice.
Usually Ace would just shake off his words but this time... it was the only time he had ever felt so low... looking straight in to his eyes he opened his mouth as he spoke,
"I... I... I accidentally slashed Alice... There were faceless who wanted to kill her so I killed them first but I didn't notice her at my back and that my slash was in a full spin that also hit her. She wasn't really slashed but I stabbed her... in her... heart..."
Peter gripped his gun as he wanted to pull the trigger. But he had to stop himself for he knew that Alice would be sad if he killed one of her friends. Though he never treated the Knight of Hearts as his friend or subordinate he wants Alice to be happy. Even if she's already gone he knows that she's watching from high above...
Pulling his gun down he could see the disbelief in the Knight's eye. Still holding on to the girl's dead body he looked at it once more time when Peter kneeled down and took Alice ever so gently from him. Ace didn't hesitated and gave the body to him.
Peter brushed the bangs off Alice's pale and bloody yet beautiful and pure face. Smiling at the breathless, unmoving figure he could feel warm water at the corners of his eyes once again...
"Alice... WHY?! The last time that I spent with you was when you left me... Why must it be so painful...? I wish that I could've said a proper good bye when you left to take your break... I wish I could've done so much god things to you without annoying you... I wish I could've done all those... if only I know you would be gone earlier... Alice... Alice... Please come back to me... one day for sure... so please... just one day come to me safe and sound..."
Taking a deep breath as tears flowed vigorously he continued,
"I know that you would be sad if one of died early too just to be with you so I promise I would smile and have fun... Just as you always say that everyone deserves to live a life with pure happiness and sadness... but still... why did you have to be first to die...? Why did you have to leave us all alone? You know that it's you who makes us all connected... no matter how much we fight with each other... it's still fun knowing that we are all noisy just like a big family... Why Alice?! Why?! I want you to live... To spend my days with you even if you didn't love me..."
"Even if you hate me so much I'm okay with it! As long as you here and you happy! That is the reason why I led you here in Wonderland so that you can be truly happy... But still! Even if I just want you to be happy it's like I'm not yet contented... It like I want more... And I do..."
"I want your attention; I want you to only lay your yes on me only... I want you to only care and worry for me... I want you to only think of me... I'm selfish but I just really love you Alice...!"
Peter blurted out all his feelings as he hugged her tight not minding if blood gushed outside her and spilling it all over on his clothes. He then noticed that Ace was gone. He didn't care for e was with Alice... He was hugging her as he shivered in fright when a piece of paper wrapped in a small plastic bag came out of her pocket.
Peter got curious as he took the plastic that was covered in blood. Wiping it with his sleeves he opened the plastic bag and took the piece of paper out. He opened it and noticed it was a letter.
Dear Everyone...
I made this letter early just in case I die early because we never know when we will die so it's better to have a letter ready so that I can say what I have to say even if I am dead.
It's been such an amazing journey with you everyone... Each day that I spent here was full of adventures! There was no such a dull day! Though many of you still like to kill but I'm really happy that the habit is lessening little by little.
I really wish that we can spend more fun days all together but I'm sorry I can't anymore... I don't know if I would stay in heaven or live in another life but if I do then I wish that one day I will find Wonderland and go there... I might look different but I'll remember you all. When I wake up as a different person and new set of memories I hope that you don't forget me because my heart will never forget you all...
~O~
I have to say that it's a really amazing time I have spent with you Julius... Every time I make coffee for you was fun! Knowing that each time I make coffee my grade gets higher and higher! Though I haven't accomplished getting a perfect score I'm still happy that I died with my last score as a 98. Though sometimes you're stubborn it's really admirable that you love your work. I hope you continue to love your work but also please take breaks and rest too Julius...
I don't want Ace to see you collapsed on the floor because you all tired. So please take care of yourself okay?
~O~
Oh this part is for you Gowland. It's been really fun in the Amusement Park! I hope you make more rides there! Also I have to say this but please don't kill us with you violin skills it's really uhmm... in need of practice...
Boris... I know that you have feelings for me and I treasure you so much Boris! You've always protected me and you're always worried about me... You always cheer e up with your riddles... I really like you Boris! But I am really sorry but I can't return the same feelings you feel for me...
Oh Boris how I treasure each day I spent with you... though sometimes you can be possessive and all but you're really sweet. I hope that one day you'll find the best woman that will make you happy forever until the end of you time...
~O~
Dee and Dum! You two little boys who ditch work so much! It's really funny why you two would be placed on a job so important... Sheesh... anyways you two have been really fun in my life. Though sometimes you scare or shock me by changing to you adult forms so soon. I know that you might be crying now that I died but please smile... I don't want you to be sad...
I want you both to smile! I might not be there to see you both grow up but one day I'll see both of you all grown up normally! Not because of your will. You have so many years to live so please find a nice woman you could live for the rest of your lives! I hope that you can smile until the end...
Elliot! You carrot sweet-loving hare! There I said hare not rabbit. Anyways I hope you keep up with that sweet childish side of yours because it's really cute! Though I know you have a job which makes you kill people I understand that but please just stay kind as much as possible. I hope that you also get to find the one you love soon so that you won't be lonely! That's all... I'll miss you and the twins...
~O~
Blood... Though you can really be annoying your kind... and sometimes useful because you have so many books... I hope that you could stop seducing every woman and fall in love for once. I hope that you will live such a happy life with the woman you love... I wish for you to be truly happy and peaceful...
~O~
Vivaldi... I'm sorry if I can't be with you to play anymore... I will really miss you because you are like a big sister to me... You understand how I am feeling... Thank you so much Vivaldi for everything... I hope that you won't behead too many faceless from now on because all of them deserves to live.
Be a good Queen!
~O~
Peter...
I... I... I'm sorry... I'm sorry for saying so much painful words to you. I'm sorry for hurting you... Even though after I say those painful words your still back to your regular self. Even if you show that you're okay, deep inside you you're really hurt... I'm sorry Peter of how I treated you...
Thank you so much for bringing me to Wonderland... It made me discover such amazing things! Meet new people and all of this wouldn't happen if you didn't kidnap me... Though I always say I hated you about that and everything else... I don't hate it in real because I'm so happy that I came to Wonderland...
Peter... As you have read this letter you could see that not each one of the people I've written to has my heart. Not any of them captured my heart... Yes they're all kind, sweet, and fun but it's just missing something... They may love me with all their heart but they just don't qualify...
Did you know that every time I say "I hate you" to you I feel so pained because I know that you're hurt to hear that... I'm sorry so please forgive me...
I have never said this to you when I was still alive but I just wrote it down...
The day of the ball Vivaldi held just for fun... when we were alone at the gardens at that night... I was really nervous... I wanted to tell something to you already but my mouth won't open... I want to say something and yet no words came out of my mouth... I feel so foolish that time... it was my only chance I can say how I really feel...
Peter...
Daisuki Daiyo...
P-Peter ga d-daisuki desu!
Daisuki Daiyo...
Peter... I love you so much! I wish I didn't die yet! I want to be with you! I love you so much I wish I could've spent my whole life with you! I feel so foolish... so stupid for letting my chances go... I'll miss you Peter... I really will... so promise me that one day if by any chance I am born again to this world will you promise to find me?
No matter how hard it can be can you please find me...? I want to start a new life with you as a human with a heart... So that both of us can hear our heart beats... together...
I hope that one day when we are born again I hope that... I Hope That We Can Be Together!
Peter... I love you and that's all I have to say... I'm sorry if I'm already gone so please smile for me... I don't want to see you sad... Please... smile for me okay...?
Your days might seem dull and lonely but please... just bury me in your memories and move on... I want you to be happy! I don't want you to feel lonely! Please just go back to normal...
Peter just promise me one day we will be together... okay?
I love you...
~O~
Dear everyone it has been such a life with you all! It's like a roller coaster going up and down and all around! It's been crazy around you all and I hope that even if I'm gone you can continue living like in a roller coaster but now without me... don't worry about me anymore because I'm here finally resting in peace...
To tell you all the truth I'm lonely... I miss you all I'll really miss you all... your smiles, your whines, your cries, your worries, your embarrassment, your shouts, your screams, your voices, your faces... I'll miss every single detail of you all... I'll miss your attitudes whether or not it's positive...
I hope that everyone will smile for me... Thank you all so much everyone... I love you all! Thank you so much for giving me such a happy and crazy life~!
-Alice Liddell
"I'll Miss you all... especially you Peter..."
Her letter ended and as he was reading he could notice strains of tears on that piece of paper. That was when he came up with the conclusion that she was really pained when she wrote this letter that tears were falling.
The strains of tears just added up as Peter's tears were mixed in the paper...
He never knew she actually had feelings for him... he was so happy... so happy that he wanted to jump off a building and die to be with Alice...
He showed a smile... a broken smile, a smile that showed such happiness yet so much pain... He was happy. Yes that is for sure but why is he sad? Isn't he supposed to be fully happy because the one he loves the most love him back? But why?
It's because...
He wants to spend his days with her... he wants her to be present with him! To stay by his side smiling! To hold his hand while staring up at the night sky together! Is that too much to ask?
Peter held the piece of paper as he cried and cried. Oh how he regretted not persisting Alice to just stay inside the castle... He wished that she was still here... oh how he felt so pained...
He couldn't do anything anymore... it was the end... the end of everything... the end of his silly life... he wouldn't die but his insides would... His clock heart... his metal heart the sounds in a monotone tune... His clock would die... He would be back to his usual strict Prime Minister but deep inside he's still the goofy Peter that wants Alice for himself but that side of him that is buried deep inside him is... pained and lonely... that side of him was locked up in a cage...
Locked up to never show any signs that he is in pain... Though everyone could see that he's working normally everyone could see that he's really pained inside...
Peter cried out loud as he hugged Alice. Blood and tears were mixed together as seconds... minutes... has passed...
With one last task to do Peter leaned to Alice and kissed her passionately with full of love! Full ofsaddness, disappointment, depression, loneliness... But that was the most precious kiss they both could've had but Alice... she would never see nor feel that kiss...
He didn't mind if her lips were already cold... he didn't mind if she was covered in her blood... he didn't mind at all because he loves her so much that he wants to share a kiss with her... Even if she's dead Peter still counts it as an acceptable kiss...
Breaking apart for the sake of Peter's lungs he could see Alice breathlessly lying down in his lap and as he stared at her beautiful face he spoke,
"Alice... My Dear Alice... Oh how I would miss you so much my dear... Life in the castle will be a total gloom because... without you our light to the path of happiness is gone... you connect us my dear... no role holders have ever been this close before but you came and you made us closer together... You might see us fighting and killing each other every day but we have never been like that cheerful before..."
"Alice... I love you so much that I wish even if you are dead you could feel the kiss from up above... I miss you so much... I promise I wouldn't die... I promise I won't love anyone else rather than you... I love you Alice you're so special..."
With one last kiss he leaned to Alice and placed a kiss with more passion than the other.
Pulling apart he could see what was impossible...
Alice's skin colour was returning back to her natural colour but the big line on her chest where Ace's sword has stabbed hadn't disappeared...
Opening her eyes weakly and slowly as possible she spoke,
"Peter... I know this may sound weird but because of you kiss... because of you passion and love for me that filled that kiss... You made me alive for at least for the moment..."
He voice was very low and faint but Peter didn't mind at all! He was wide-eyed to see Alice who just died come back alive! He was utterly happy!
"Alice! Thank Goodness you're alive!" He said as he hugged her while tears streamed down his face.
"Peter..." She whispered as she smiled so brightly as tears streamed down her face also...
"Peter... I miss you so much... and I want to say something to you before I finally die..."
"No Alice... don't die again... don't leave me alone..." he said sadly as his rabbit ears drooped down.
"Peter... I'm sorry... but this is how it has to be... my life is settled up to here and here only... I'm sorry but please hear me out..." She said as she cupped his cheeks and looked straight into his eyes.
"Peter..."
"Peter... I-I... Love you... I know that you've read my letter but saying this to you in person was so much better... I love you so much Peter... Daisuki Daiyo..." She said with a smile mixed with happiness and pain... Tears full of joy and depression...
"Alice... I love you too...! So much! So please don't leave me! I don't want you gone again...!" He shouted as he held her hands tightly.
"Peter..."
Alice just smiled as she leaned to him and kissed him chastely on the lips. Though they're both covered in blood it doesn't matter.
"Peter... I'm sorry if I can't stay any longer... this is the end... My life ends here Peter... I have nothing else to give you rather than the last seconds of my life... I longed for a family you know...? I wished that one day I'll marry you and we could create a wonderful set of adorable babies with rabbit ears...! But all my dreams have come to an end... But I'm so happy that at least my main goal in life... my main dream to catch was to find who I love the most and confess to that person... and that is you Peter... Thank you so much for coming to my life..."
Her voice was very low as she leaned up to him and placed a very soft kiss as she smiled to him. She then said her good bye to him...
"Good Bye... Peter... I will always Love you..." She closed her eyes slowly as she fell on his shoulder.
"No... No... No Alice! Don't go! Alice speak to me! Don't you dare just go away! Please Alice...! Please!" He shouted at her as tears again flowed as he shook her shoulders begging for her to wake up.
"Alice..."
With no more hope he hugged her tight as he cried and cried. Oh how hurt him was... how pained he was... How can this possibly go on...? Can he just forget about all this? No. He can't... But he will always and forever promise to love her and her only... he'll never forget about all these because they are all precious to him... No matter how painful it is it's still a precious memory...
He stared at Alice's face as it returned back to its pale colour.
Biting his lower lip in anger he gripped her he shouted,
"NOOOO! ALICEEE! WHY DID YOU HAVE TO DIE?!"
"Alice... Alice... Alice... I promise I'll wait for you to return just maybe one day... you'll come back again... maybe just maybe... I love you Alice and I will wait for you..."
-~End of FlashBack~-
I stare at the starry, night sky as the cool breeze of then night passed by me. I take out a piece of paper and read its contents again... ever since Alice died I kept the letter and took care of it... I never allowed anyone to touch it after they read their own part, I never allowed it to be dirty or get wet...
After all this time I can't still stop crying over this letter... folding the letter and putting back to my pocket I stare at the cold floor as I could see droplets of my tears shimmering under the bright moon.
How my tears looked like the ocean when you look closely at it... the never ending ocean... how it is so big and clear... Just like my love her... it will never end and its clear as the beautiful colours of the ocean... Oh how she shines under the bight shine of the sun or the calm light of the moon...
Just staring at the wonderful stars make me smile as I can see such a big bright star! It was always there ever since Alice was buried... Just after that night a big bright star appeared and I made it as my favourite knowing it's an achievement I did everyday... My favourite task that I completed everyday was to keep my love for Alice strong...
It amazing that I have felt this way over a simple girl but she isn't simple at all... she was different... she was rare... she was the most important girl in my whole life...
Staring back at the stars as I sighed deeply when I heard a voice,
"Peter..."
I widened my eyes as I heard that familiar voice. Looking at the side I see a girl a bit small than my height with brownish-yellow golden hair that swayed because of the breeze, her ribbon that was tied at the top of her back hair. Her teal eyes the shone with such happiness and love. She wore a blue dress with frills underneath, a white apron above that dress. Sky blue and White striped stockings with shiny red shoes...
How he missed that sight...
How he longed to see her again...
"Welcome back... Alice..."
Smiling as he reached his hand out to her, she walked to him with a smile.
-END of STORY-
Finished!
This story was made maybe a year or so before so ye... I hope that its not that stupid because maybe just maybe this story sucks as hell TTATT, if you have any ideas on how to make it better please do tell me by either review or PM (Private Messaging not Prime Minister) T...T Thanks so much minna-chin TvT
I Hope you all enjoyed it everyone~! I know there are so much typos there but I'll try to find where they are! u. Also tell me anything about this because I really want t hear what your opinions are ^^. If its somehow negative please say it in a nicer manner that's all thank chu all~!
The title is still on going I really suck at titles and summary Sorry about that! I hope that you understand but I am of course still a young grade school student that is improving her skills ^^.
-AnimeOtakuForever