Prologue
"I have been waiting for you...my entire life."
She stood in front of him, hands linked with his, and her delicate face painted like a porcelain doll. The lengthy, white train of her satin dress cascaded down the red-carpeted steps like a waterfall. Her veil was pinned in place by tiny, ivory florettes.
"And I don't mean a girl 'like' you, I mean you, Bev. Just you. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me."
She giggled at that; her warm, brown eyes glittering with tears as he turned to the pastor with a cheeky grin.
"So yeah. You bet your ass'I do'."
"Poison! Poison, wake up!"
-California - 2019 - September-
Party Poison jumped as he opened his eyes, finding himself not in a church, but instead, lying on a dry-rotting bench in the run down Diner he and his friends called 'home'.
Startled, he glanced around, idly pulling up at the scarf around his neck,
"What? What is it?"
Fun Ghoul was standing over him, a look of despair on his usually cheery face,
"It's bad, man..."
The red head frowned in confusion as his attention turned to the sorrowful sounding DJ chirping through their radio,
"...had a CLAP with an Exterminator that went all Costa Rica..."
~ø~
They sped through the desert; Fun Ghoul shifting uncomfortably in his seat as they made their way to Route Guano,
"Dude, slow down a little."
"No, fuck you. You don't get to tell me to slow down. Not tonight."
They peeled a little ways off the road, the headlights falling on a pair of BLI issue body bags lying beside an enormous crater.
Fun Ghoul swallowed hard as they pulled to a stop,
"There it is..."
Without a word, Party Poison threw off his seatbelt and stepped out of the car; heart growing heavy as he eyed the two sacks in despair. He shook his head as he approached them, eyes beginning to cloud with tears,
"No..."
Stepping out as well, Fun Ghoul quickly took out his raygun and glanced around,
"Careful. There could still be more out here..."
Poison ignored him and knelt down beside one of the bags; reaching up with a shaking hand to unzip it. His eyes landed on Kobra Kid's pale face and he bit his lip; bowing his head,
"Fuck..."
Ghoul hurriedly made his way over, his stomach dropping as he saw the body,
"Shit..."
Shaking his head, he ran his free hand through his hair and stepped over toward the crater. Glancing down into it, he frowned, raising an eyebrow curiously,
"Hey, Poison...c'mere and look at this."
Distraught and disoriented, Poison climbed to his feet and trudged over to the shorter man, a frown crossing his face,
"What the hell...?"
At the centre of the hole seemed to be a pod of somesort. It was long and silver, and all around it, the ground was littered with Draculoid masks. Fun Ghoul shook his head,
"That must be the satellite D was talking about on the radio."
"What satellite?"
The dark-haired man swallowed hard,
"The, uh...the one he asked us to check out. You were asleep so I asked Kid and Jet-"
Poison's eyes widened at this, angrily giving Fun Ghoul a shove as he shrieked,
"You, what!? Why the fuck didn't you get me up-!?"
"Cause, dude, I didn't wanna wake you," the shorter man squeaked in defence,
"Not with...you know..."
He motioned to the scarf around Poison's neck.
With a growl, the red head readjusted it and snorted,
"That's not even the fucking point. You shoulda got me up! The four of us...they would have had a fighting chance!"
"Look, I'm sorry, okay," Ghoul began, taking a few steps back as he put his hands up,
"I was just trying to look after you, since you don't seem to wanna do that yourself!"
They both grew quiet after that.
Finally, Party Poison shook his head and coughed to clear his throat,
"Let's just take 'em home. Give 'em a proper burial."
"Yeah," Fun Ghoul agreed, sniffling softly as he wiped his nose.
As they turned to gather up their fallen friends, the two men froze; gaping in shock as they found Kobra Kid standing straight up from his body bag.
Nearby, what they assumed to be Jet Star's body bag was struggling to right itself; wriggling and writhing like a worm.
Fun Ghoul crossed himself quickly, his eyes wide as he gaped at the corpse standing before them,
"Holy shit-!"
Poison shook his head, his voice a soft breath as he gazed at the blonde man in wonder,
"Kid...?"
Kobra Kid's face was completely blank. He stood rigid in posture and after a moment, pointed a finger at the two of them, his eyes devoid of emotion,
"You will be upgraded."
The two of them quietly exchanged confused glances. Suddenly, a swarm of small, mechanical bugs poured out from Kid's body bag, and Fun Ghoul grabbed Poison by the arm,
"Jesus-!"
Losing his balance, he tumbled backward into the crater; dragging the neon-haired man down with him. They came to a stop at the base of the hole, Poison groaning as he pushed himself up,
"What the hell...?"
He glanced up to see that Kobra Kid was now standing at the crater's edge, glaring down at them silently. Jet Star had finally made it upright by this point and joined him at the edge; his jerking movements quite comical for a walking body bag.
Fun Ghoul shook his head, glancing over at Poison in fright,
"I-I-I don't get it, dude. D said they were dust! And he ain't ever wrong...!"
"Well, it looks like this time, he was," Poison whispered; unable to look away from the sight of his friend's menacing glare.
"But how are they even alive," the shorter man squeaked frantically,
"Are they fuckin' zombies, or what!?"
A loud fizzing sounded behind them and both men spun around; quickly drawing their guns. Out from the pod stepped a man dressed in all white; a strange, metal apparatus glued to his face. He moved as robotically as Kid and Jet, his eyes just as dead,
"You will be upgraded."
More of these robotic men stepped out from the pod behind him, and the two men looked to each other in horror.
-Elsewhere in time and space-
"Well, now that that's all taken care of," the Doctor sighed as he rounded the console toward his petite companion,
"Where do you wanna go next?"
Clara shrugged as she folded her arms,
"You still haven't taken me to Vegas. Kind of got distracted by that sinking submarine."
"Ah, that's right, we did a bit, didn't we," he began, rubbing his chin thoughtfully.
Wagging a finger in the air, he smirked and jogged around the console, slapping away at the controls,
"Vegas it is, then!"
The shrill ringing of a phone interrupted his thoughts and he jumped, nodding shortly to the woman,
"Clara, could you get that for me...?"
She raised an eyebrow at him, shaking her head,
"Get what?"
"The phone, get the phone."
Frowning, she rounded the console and stared at it blankly,
"You mean this phone?"
"Do you see any other phones I could be referring to?"
Snorting, she shook her head,
"It's not ringing."
The Doctor frowned as he looked up at her,
"What? Of course it is! Don't you hear it?"
"No," she shook her head, picking it up from the receiver and shaking it,
"See? Not ringing."
With an annoyed growl, he marched over to her and snatched it from her hand,
"Hello?"
He paused, glancing at her nervously as he set it back down,
"So, it isn't."
The ringing sounded again and he picked it up a second time,
"Who is it!?"
She glanced around, having heard it now as well, and followed the sound toward the door,
"I think it's coming from outside."
Slapping his hand over the receiver, he turned to her in confusion,
"What's coming from outside?"
"The ringing," she repeated, shaking her head,
"I think it's coming from outside."
He frowned as he marched to the door and opened it, a strong burst of air meeting him as he stuck his head out into the time vortex. The ringing sounded again, much louder this time, and he rolled his eyes,
"Again," reaching into the box on the outside of the TARDIS, he let out an exasperated sigh,
"This one isn't even real...!"
He picked up the receiver and pulled it inside with him, sounding slightly exasperated as he answered,
"Hello?"
"Doc! We got problems!"
His eyes widened at the sound of the frantic voice on the other end and he leaned over, grabbing hold of the railing as he felt his legs go weak. Clara frowned at this and started toward him,
"Doctor? Are you all right?"
"Doc," the caller continued, his shouting getting louder as gun shots sounded in the background,
"I'm not fuckin' around! Get your skinny ass back here, now! We got issues!"
The Doctor frowned as he pulled an aged letter from his pocket, one addressed to 'Doc' and he swallowed hard. Clara stepped up to him, shaking her head in concern,
"Doctor? Who is it? Who are you talking to?"
He looked at her, eyes wide as his hearts began pounding in fear and excitement.
"A ghost."