DISCLAIMER/ I DO NOT OWN VICTORIOUS OR IT'S CHARACTERS
I have never felt it in my life. I thought I did once when I was a kid but it wasn't real, as I said I was just a kid. But then out of the bleu it hit me hard like BAM. To be honest before that I didn't know I would be capable of having it. People talked about it all the time. In novels, Movies and even in real life. But I wasn't sure if it really existed , especially what some people call " Love at first sight". But you know what all of that changed when I first saw you. I didn't even think you were my type. You gave me butterflies the first time I saw you. I mean yes we didn't start on the right foot but still. I knew I was doomed because I could never get you out of my head. I felt like you were holding an invisible giant magnet and just attracting me to you. Day after day passed and almost everyday I wondered, Do you love me too?
What the hell am I thinking? Ofcourse I can't say that to Jade West. I don't have the balls for that (Believe me I have checked ). I am afraid she will make fun of me and even if she has a heart and won't make fun of me, she will probably reject me because of beck. I mean I know they have broken up like 2 months ago but still they dated for like more than 2 years. And anyway do I even know if she is into girls or maybe just like me, she is the only girl I am into. I know you might think that I am in denial about my sexuality but I am not. I went out with a couple of girls and kissed them and all but I was just not attracted to them physically, I even found my Dad's stash of Playboy magazines but still I felt nothing down there. I have only felt a tingling feeling down there only with boys I am attracted to and Jade freaking West. I have no idea why she makes me feel that way. Although she is an incredible gank to me but it's like I like it or something. UGGHHHHHH WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME?
I swear I feel like the keyboard is screaming under my fingers right now. But this is the best way to write a diary. You can password protect it from Trina, we all know how she can be and also don't have to worry about bad handwriting. Anyway we are getting off topic here, we were talking about the big bad Jade West. What am I going to do about her?
Oh I have just got an idea, I will make a list with all the things I hate about her and maybe then I won't be stupidly in love with her. That's an awesome idea! Well atleast that's what I think so let's see…
-Lists of things I hate about J.W:
1- She is a huge gank.
2- She hates me.
3- She loves to humiliate me.
4- If any problem come up she always blame it on me.
You know i have just noticed that the list may never end and I don't have the time. But still I don't hate her, I mean sometimes she is nice…..I think.
Yesterday I told Andre about my feelings for her. Surprisingly he wasn't surprised even a little bit. When I asked him how come? He said " God Tori! You are so obvious even a blind person will be able to see it. You try hard to be her friend and you also kinda stare at her and well umm..her..umm….chest"
My bestfriend saw me staring at her not only that but also my fixation on her boobs. But it's not my fault she has magnificent boobs I can't help it. For goodness sake she got me hooked with her beauty even when she poured coffee on me. I should have liked Beck, I mean he is the guy that every girl want but NOOOO how can I be like everyone else. I had to be freaking original and fall for Jade Freaking West.
Anyway that's enough ranting for one day. I have to go to sleep anyway and maybe when I wake up I would figure out what will I do with this dilemma. Atleast I hope so.
Goodnight.