Why did I write this? What's the point of a story that takes place after 1x13? Where did this come from? Why did I feel so compelled to get this out there? Don't read this. There's more current stories out there for you to read. I mean, you can read it if you want since I went through all the trouble of writing it and publishing it. I still don't know why.
If you do happen to read this, I'd love to hear from you.
She took a look around the scene trying to find his leather jacket or the side of his face- upright and smiling, preferably. But, she didn't see him anywhere and her heart was starting to race. She saw a body being bagged, but couldn't see the face. It looked about the same height and weight which just caused her to stop breathing all together. As she started to collapse over, to brace herself on her knees, she heard her name.
Turning toward the familiar voice, she smiled and rushed toward him. Before thinking, she wrapped her arms around his neck, tighter than she was expecting to. Actually, hugging him in general was completely unexpected. Which is why, she guessed, it took him a few seconds to wrap his arms around her waist and hold her against him. She ran a hand down the back of his head, reveling in the feel of him in her arms.
She'd imagined holding him, being held by him, but actually having him there was so much better than she ever could have imagined. He tightened his grasp on her and hid his face in her neck and she smiled against his.
It wasn't long before a clearing of a throat broke them out of their spell and they let go of each other. "I should-" she said, nodding to her boyfriend standing off to her side. He nodded, smiling tightly, his walls building back up, and she watched him a second longer before turning to deal with whatever it was Luke had to say to her.
"What the hell was that?" He asked, pulling her away from the crowd.
"I thought my partner was dead," she shrugged. "That's a fairly normal reaction to finding out he's not."
"No," Luke shook his head, stepping back to create space between them. "That's a normal reaction to finding out a boyfriend or husband isn't dead. When you find out a partner isn't dead, you shake his hand or pat him on the back."
"Luke," she sighed, shaking her head.
"No, Andy," he laughed dryly. "This is over, right? I mean, there's no way around that. You want Swarek. He wants you. And it's been that way for months. I'm done denying it, you should be too."
Andy let him walk away. He was right and she was done denying it. So, she turned back to where she had left Sam and he was gone. She couldn't blame him really, after sharing that intimate moment and having it end by her going back to the man she'd left him for months earlier.
So, she went home. Now that she definitely wasn't moving in with Luke, she decided she needed to decorate some more, put up more than just one picture. She needed a home, something more permanent. But, it would have to wait. She was exhausted and she had a lot to think about.
It was a good thing Sam had left. In that moment, she probably would have told him every little thing she was thinking and it would have been the definition of "too much too soon." She needed a grace period between breaking up with Luke and starting something with Sam. That's even if he wanted to start something with her. That thought sent her flinging herself onto her bed. There was a great chance that he didn't want anything to do with her romantically. He was the one, after all, that said their kiss the night of the black out "was what it was." And it was she who chose to accept that and go with Luke to his fishing cabin.
Sam could have been hugging her at the scene as a friendly gesture, accepting her relief that he was alive and well. It may have meant nothing to him and Luke could have been terribly wrong about his intentions the past few months. No matter what, breaking up with Luke- or accepting him breaking up with her- was the right thing to do. If she was having such strong feelings toward Sam, then she shouldn't be with anyone else.
She'd been having those feelings for Sam long before the night of the blackout. She knew that if he were never her training officer, she absolutely would have gone home with him the night of their first case. Even knowing he was her training officer, she always felt it was a missed opportunity but that Luke was the safer choice.
"No," she said out loud to an empty room. She got out of bed, put on some clothes that made her feel far more comfortable, and left her apartment. She wasn't going to regret anymore of her choices. If Sam didn't want to be with her, that was something she needed to know immediately. If he did, then why wait if it was what she wanted, too?
As she made her way down his street, a feeling all too familiar, she noticed how quiet it was. It was late and it was almost winter. The last time she'd made the same walk, it was summer and everyone was outside avoiding their darkened homes.
Sam's truck was on the street, which meant he was home from giving his statement. She hadn't thought about that before she left her own apartment, so she was actually pretty lucky. She took the steps outside of his door two at a time and knocked- hard. She heard him curse, muffled but she figured out what he said, as he made his way to answer the door.
This time, a light shown behind him and he looked much more angry than the last time she showed up unexpected at his doorstep. "It's a little late, McNally," he reminded her and she nodded, looking down at her hands as she wrung them. "What do you want?"
"Luke and I broke up," she told him quietly, so quietly he took a step closer and put a finger under her chin so she was actually looking at him.
"What was that?" He asked, taking his finger away from her and crossing his arms.
"Luke and I broke up," she said, more clearly as she enunciated each word. He nodded once, stepping further into his apartment. That didn't bode well for Andy. He was backing away. He was rejecting her. "I don't know…" she trailed off, looking down again. "I don't know why I needed to tell you that," she laughed awkwardly, trying to ease the tension she'd caused.
"Do you, um, do you want to talk about it?" He asked and she looked up and offered him a smile. Something was off with him- his face was guarded and his arms were crossed tighter than before. He didn't look at ease- at all- in his own home. So, she stepped down to the second to last step and shook her head.
"No," she shrugged. "Like I said, I don't know why I'm here."
"Andy," he said, stepping toward her again just for her to take another step back. "McNally," he tried again and she closed her eyes tightly before looking at him again. "Are you okay?"
"Yes," she promised, swallowing hard and he nodded. "It's the right thing. He and I- we never would have lasted."
"Why not?" He asked, knitting his eyebrows together. "What happened? It's not because of you and – it's not because of that hug, right?"
"Sam," she chuckled, shaking her head. She just wanted to get away from him now. He wouldn't let her, though. He reached for the arm of her coat and pulled her back onto his stoop. "Almost every fight he and I ever had was about you," she admitted quietly and he let out a deep breath, nodding.
"I'm sorry?"
"It's not your fault," she laughed. "He never trusted me, especially after what happened the night of the blackout."
"I thought you guys got past that."
"We did," she nodded. "For a while."
"But?" He asked, begging her to continue so she could fill in the gaps of why she was really on his doorstep after midnight.
"But he saw that hug and he knew it had more to do with just my partner being alive after a very risky undercover operation."
"What did he know, Andy?" Sam asked and she finally made eye contact with him.
"I care about you, Sam," she admitted and his jaw dropped open and he clamped his mouth shut again. "As more than my partner and my training officer. I guess I always have."
"Why are you here?" He asked through gritted teeth. "What do you want to happen right now?"
"I just wanted you to know," she told him. "You have a right to know. You have a right to make whatever choice you want. You should have all options right in front of you."
"So…" he trailed off before licking his bottom lip and stepping closer to her. "Are you saying that you'd like to be an option?"
"Yeah," she nodded, rolling her eyes slightly. "But I understand that I'm not the only option and that you might not feel the same about me."
"You're not an idiot, Andy," he accused and she raised an eyebrow in question. "Or maybe you are," he laughed.
"What are you talking about, Sam?" She asked and he took a long, deep breath.
"You are the only option," he told her and her eyes widened. "And you know how I feel about you. I don't think I've ever really tried to hide my feelings toward you."
"Well, you've never come to my apartment to tell me how you feel, either," she reminded him and he laughed, nodding. "I could hope you felt the same way, but you've never once told me how you really feel."
"Well, you know, after you turned me down twice, I figured the ball should be in your court," he smirked and she nodded.
"You were my training officer," she said and he nodded, stuffing his hands into his pockets. "And you were the one who told me what happened the night of the blackout was-"
"I only said that because Luke had cornered me into making sure you got out on time so the two of you could make it to his fishing cabin," he told her and her eyes narrowed. "I was ready and waiting for you when he found me."
"Ready for what?" She asked, looking past him into his apartment as a cold wind hit her.
"I don't know," he laughed. "To finish what we started." She laughed, nodding, and took him by the elbow to lead him inside. "I didn't mean now," he laughed and she shoved him before closing the door.
"It's freezing," she said and he nodded, moving past her and into his kitchen. "What are you doing?" She asked, following close behind.
"It's freezing," he laughed. "I'm making coffee."
"It's midnight!" She argued, pushing herself to sit on one of his barstools.
"You working tomorrow?" He asked already knowing the answer. When she shook her head, he smiled. "Okay, then I'm making coffee."
She watched him move around his kitchen comfortably. It was strange to see him so in his element while out of his uniform. But she liked his little show of domesticity. "So, you wanted to finish what we started?" She asked him and he nodded, his back to her. "Even after I left that night?"
"I figured you just got scared," he admitted. "I didn't know that meant you were going back to your boyfriend."
"I'm sorry," she said and he shrugged. "If it makes you feel any better, I was stupid. I thought I was making the smart choice and sticking with the stable, reliable guy."
"That doesn't really make me feel any better, McNally," he laughed, turning around to lean against the counter as the coffee brewed behind him. "It just makes me feel unstable and unreliable."
"You're not," she told him and he rolled his eyes. "Like I said, I was stupid and I was really scared. And to remind you," she laughed. "You were my training officer."
"Okay," he laughed, leaning his forearms against the opposite side of the breakfast bar where she was sitting. "You can't keep using that as an excuse."
"You're not my training officer anymore," she shrugged and he nodded slowly.
"Neither is Oliver," he smirked. "Did you stop by his place on your way here?"
"Shut up," she laughed, shaking her head. "I already told you why I'm here."
"Because you care about me?" He asked quietly and she nodded. "And you wanted to be an option?" He continued and she nodded again. "You just broke up with Callaghan."
"I don't care," she said truthfully. "It doesn't change how I feel about you. It doesn't change how scared I was that you were dead inside that warehouse or how happy I was to see that you weren't."
"So, you're just over Callaghan?" He asked and she shrugged. "Just like that? Poof, feelings gone?"
"What I feel for Luke is not the same as what I feel for you," she told him. "Luke makes a really good boyfriend, but there's no spark there. Am I the only one who thinks that there's a spark here?" She asked, gesturing between them.
"Sparks are more important than a healthy relationship?" He asked. Andy let out a frustrated breath and shook her head.
"So, then, I am the only one who thinks that there's a possibility of more here?" She asked, standing up and turning toward the front door.
"Andy," he called out, moving around the kitchen to block her exit. "That's not what I said."
"Can you see us together, Sam?" She asked, crossing her arms over her chest. "Because I can. If you can't, then let me know so I can go home and forget that any of this ever happened."
They watched each other closely. Andy was challenging him and she wasn't sure he was up for it. When he kissed her, though, she melted against him, letting her hands slide up his chest and around his neck until she was pulling herself closer. Then, all too quickie, she pushed him away and wiped the back of her hand over her mouth.
"Sam, we know that part works," she said, backing away from him as he let his eyes close for a second.
"Did you just wipe my kiss off of your mouth?" He asked, amused, and she narrowed her eyes and crossed her arms. "What are we, 14?"
"You are," she accused. "You kissed me instead of answering a very serious question. I'm not so easily distracted."
"I had you for a second," he smirked and she looked down to hide her smile.
"When you kissed me earlier tonight, when we were on the case, that was real for me. I was- that was me telling you to be careful. I can't even imagine what it would be like to wake up in a world without Sam Swarek," Andy admitted. She watched all the breath leave his body as he collapsed against the stool she had been sitting on. She went to stand between his legs and framed his face in her hands. "I've only known you for six months. And I can't imagine a life without you? That's insane, okay? But I need to know if you feel the same way, if you feel like there's more than just good chemistry."
While he thought about it, she let her hands rest on his shoulders. "When you showed up here, you didn't even want to talk," he reminded her and she nodded.
"I didn't want to about me and Luke breaking up," she corrected. "And I was afraid to talk about the possibility of you and me. But, you know what, now I need to know before I go any further."
"Okay," he swallowed, pulling her closer by the hips. She gave him a warning look and he smiled. "Then, let's do this. For real. You and me, I'm up for it. I want it."
"You're sure?" She asked, wrapping her arms around his neck again and he nodded. "I'm not pressuring you by showing up at your doorstep? Don't do this for me, okay? I mean, just because it's what I want-"
"I want it, Andy," he insisted. "Always have," he shrugged and she smiled.
He kissed her again and she let him, stroking the back of his head as his hand slid underneath her jacket to rest on her back. "What about that coffee?" She asked against his mouth and he laughed.
"I'll warm it up in the morning," he offered, putting his hand between them so he could unzip her jacket before pushing it off of her shoulders.
She pulled her head back and put her arms back around his neck once it hit the floor. "That's a little presumptuous, don't you think?" She asked and he smirked. He stood up, turned them around, and lifted her to sit on the counter.
"You're the one who showed up here in the middle of the night," he reminded her and she laughed before pulling him to stand between her legs to kiss him. Her legs went around his waist, pulling him further into her body, and he slid his hands between them to cup her face. "I'm glad you showed up here."
"Yeah," she laughed. "Me too."
"Don't take this the wrong way," he started and she sighed, rolling her head back. "That's taking it the wrong way, McNally."
"I don't even know what it is," she smiled tightly and he kissed her quickly to alleviate any doubts.
"I don't want to look like a homewrecker," he smiled and she nodded, biting her bottom lip.
"So, you want to keep this between us?" She asked, pushing herself back on the counter.
"Just for now," he said, pulling her closer again. "Just until we figure this out."
"Okay," she nodded. "I don't want you to look like a homewrecker, either. And you're not, you know. What's happening with us has nothing to do with me and Luke."
"I know," he nodded and she smiled. "This is about us," he said and she nodded. He smiled and kissed her neck, then her jaw, then the corner of her mouth.
"Hurry it up, Swarek," she laughed and he shook his head before his lips landed fully on hers.