So this is my first story and i really would like opinions and just general responses before i post the next chapter.
chapter one
The Run
I was running.
I don't know how long I had been doing this, but it felt oddly liberating. I hadn't stopped; not even when the dull brown of the Arizona desert turned into the greener, more lush landscape in... wherever I was. The exhaustion had set in a couple miles or so ago, but wouldn't stop. I couldn't stop. I had to keep moving forward. Moving away from them.
I was surrounded in a forests that reeked of green and suffocated me with humidity. It was almost unbearable; the harder I pushed the more I felt as if I was trudging through water. My legs started to burn and I knew I had to slowed down. I honestly had no clue how fast I was going, or where I would eventually end up. However, I did know was that no one would be looking for me. The reality of that was frightening, and dwelling on it would leave me too weak to stand. I couldn't have that; I had to be stronger. I had to be faster.
The rain that got through the trees soaked me through to the bone. Usually I loved the rain, but this was different. Nothing made sense anymore as my legs quivered, slowing me into a jog. Breathing was becoming harder, escaping only in raged gasps. I was starting to see spots as the sky grew darker and more ominous. the eerie quiet was beginning to make my ears were ring. The silence seemed to capture my soul.
I broke out into a clearing with a quaint little house in the middle. Blood rushed through my ears and my whole body pulsed. I forced my spent legs to walk up the three steps leading up to the porch. My legs seemed to quake on the first step. I was uncertain I could make it before I completely anesthetized. Sluggishly, I reached for the door my vision was tunneling in on. I was so close to salvation, and a new life. to being a whole new person and redeeming myself.
"Help," I choke out in a barely audible rasp, "helpme...".
Then the world went black.