Etched
a HidaSaku (Long) Oneshot

I walked over to the riverbank. I wanted to die. But I knew well, I couldn't. Yes, I can't die. I- Sakura Haruno, had become a Jashinist. I don't know where to start…

*~Flashback~*

"No! Naruto!" I screamed. Silence. Probably the impact of the sword and me had startled everyone. No, it was that I had saved Naruto.
From Sasuke. I looked down- blood trickled all over my wound. A sword was lying on my stomach. I tasted blood on my lips. My eyelids
were drooping. "Sakura!" I heard Naruto scream. I felt the Kyuubi's chakra behind me, blazing with anger. I was tired. I've had enough.
My eyes were closing. No, not yet…please. I saw Sasuke and Naruto battling- the fox and the demon. They were surrounded by
Orochimaru's henchmen. No one moved. Everything went black and I heard my body fell with a loud thump.

A strange light emerged from the darkness. 'W-Who are you?' I asked. A cold laugh boomed from the light.

'What's so funny?'

'Nothing's funny' a deep, cold voice said.

'Then why are you laughing?'

'You. You're an interesting person. Most people ask "What" I am. You just amuse me, that's all' the voice replied.

'Oh.'

'You're so innocent. You'll make a perfect disciple'

'W-What do you mean by that?'

'I am Jashin, the Death God'

'Oh, um, do I have to bow to you or something, Mr. Jashin, um, sir?'

The voice laughed again. 'You're perfect. Tell me, Sakura. Do you want to be alive again?'

'Y-Yes. I want to save everyone. Do you know how, sir?'

'Have you ever heard of a Jashinist? The immortal ones, as people say'

My eyes widened. I've heard of them. People say they're cursed. Bloodthirsty monsters. They kill to live. They live to kill.

'Judging from your face, you have. Don't worry, they're not what you think they are. So, do you want to live again? To be
immortal?'

'I-I don't know'

'Tell you what, I'll give you a taste of immortality. I'll lead you to my people. My disciples. If you like it, you can pledge to
be my disciple forever. You don't have to make sacrifices, don't worry about that. You have to when you pledge to me, though'

I nodded. And once again, I was in the battlefield again. People fighting. The ANBU are here. I stood up and everyone around
me froze and stared. I felt something on my back. A sword- a tinted red sword. With a symbol of Jashin on it. I smirked and
everyone around me shuddered. I raised the sword and stabbed every single henchman I could slay. I licked the blood on my
sword and made a symbol of Jashin underneath me. I grabbed a pendant that was dangling on my neck just now and made
a silent prayer. My skin turned ebony black and ivory markings- no, bones- showed through. I stabbed myself and the crowd
that I had slashed around me died in no time at all. I don't know how I did it. Instinct, I guess.

Everything went normal again. I smiled at Naruto, Sasuke, Team Hebi and the ANBU. But something was wrong. They weren't
smiling back- their eyes was filled with fear. Naruto stepped forward and said, shaking, "S-Sakura… You're a… Jashinist. I-I… I'm
sorry, I won't let you go back to Konoha in this state." My eyes widened. Tears fell from my emerald orbs. I had saved their sorry
hides! And this is what they'll do?! Ban me?! I grabbed my sword and my chakra blazed with anger. My chakra was even more
powerful than the Kyuubi's. It's their time. They are going to die. They HAVE to die. Everyone cowered in fear- even Naruto, even
ANBU, even Sasuke. Once again, everything went black.

'W-What happened?!'

'You can't do that Sakura! You can't! I allowed you to protect them! You CANNOT do that!!!' Jashin boomed.

I winced.

'I-I'm sorry, Jashin-sama.'

'Sakura, I'll send you to a place where Jashinists gather, all right?'

I nodded.

Several months passed…

"Fuck you all! Don't you even know how to cook proper food? This tastes like shit!" a newcomer yelled. He has silver hair,
pale skin and liquid fuchsia eyes. Staring at them might drown you. He was handsome, for all I know and don't get me
started with his fit body. I also recognized his cloak- Akatsuki. "Hey, you!" I yelled. "Sakura, you don't-" Ami called. Ami
is also a Jashinist- with crimson red hair and orange eyes. She's been with me for a month and a half now and she knew
me well. "What the fuck is your problem, bitch?" he yelled. "You don't yell at others that way!" I punched him, sending him,
and his scythe, flying and crashing into three trees. "Oh my Jashin, that felt so good! Do it again!" he beamed. I sighed. For
us Jashinists, pain causes pleasure, and he must've felt great pleasure in that. And that was the start of our annoyingly
awkward friendship.

He became my best friend. Every time we touch, like hold hands- not like a couple-ish manner, but as friends, his skin feels
cold to mine- like a dead man. His lips, every time I want him to shut up I touch it, feels rough. I'm not a fully-pledged
Jashinist yet, so I think that's the reason. I am different somehow.

Our friendship ended when he led me to a riverbank, our favorite place where we can be alone. Insisting that I should pledge
myself to Jashin or he'll tear our friendship apart. I told him not to rush me, that I just needed more time. He scowled. Just
as I was about to touch him, he jerked away.

Ami then showed up behind the trees. I widened my eyes and stared at him in disbelief. "H-How could you do this? This is
OUR place! No one can come here except for us! Hidan how could you?" I screamed. I wanted to throw up. He had betrayed
me. Everyone did. I felt like something had stabbed my heart. Is it because I think Ami isn't right for him? No, it-it was…
jealousy. "Sakura, as far as I know, there is no us or our between you and me anymore. All I asked you was to pledge to
Jashin, was that so hard? Well, Ami's my girlfriend, now. You broke our friendship" he said coldly. I can't believe it. I didn't
want to believe it. Instead, I ran. Away from her. Away from HIM. They were my friends. Ami knew well I had always been
attracted to him. How dare she?!

We never spoke since. I just heard that Hidan broke up with her the next day. I didn't care. If there was one way a Jashinist
can be hurt, it was emotion. Emotional pain is our weakness. Just the same as I don't want to believe that Konoha had given
up on me. It's because of the emotional connection. I hate it. I'm the new Sakura now, I promised myself. Cold. Heartless.
Unloving.

*~end flashback~*

Well, remember my promise? That I'd be heartless from then on? That I won't care or even talk to Hidan anymore?
And that I'd never give up Konoha? Those promises were broken today, just as easily as I made them…

"You probably shouldn't stab yourself in the daylight in this place. Too easy to get fucking caught." Like the river,
Hidan looked different during the day. Every scar, every mark etched into his skin, stood up in sharp relief. And seeing
him today, I don't know why, but he looked more… immortal. The only thing I can connect with him- immortality. Being
a Jashinist.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, jumping up as he sat down.

"I should probably ask you that, bitch," he said. "Last I checked this was my place."

"Oh, so now you own the river?"

"Sarcasm doesn't scare me, ya know, bitch? Fire away. I'm staying."

"Enjoy," I said with fake cheerfulness. "I'm going."

"After I came all this way? I would have thought a bitch- er, girl like you would come equipped with better manners."

"So you're stalking me now? How'd you know I was here?"

"I know all." He smirked.

"I'm leaving."

"Okay, wait!" He spread his arms wide in truce. "I saw you coming here and decided to follow you"

"So you admit that you're stalking me?"

"What can I say? I have lots of time in my hands" Hidan said.

"Use it for something else," I snapped. "Stay out of my life."

"Maybe I don't fucking want to. Maybe I think you're worth a little extra effort."

"…I'm not worth it. I'm worthless" I whispered. His eyes widened. I can't believe he actually heard that. What, does
he have super hearing or something?

"No, you're wrong"

"What?" I asked, flabbergasted.

"You're not worthless. Sure you may be annoying, a bitch, an e-"

"Your point? I'm immortal, so what? Everything. Everyone around me, that used to like me- love me! All gone. I'm
rejected just because I'm immortal."

"You're interesting…"

"What?!"

"You see things in different ways. Everyone wants immortality, yet, here you are. You are given immortality by
Jashin-sama, yet you push it away" he smiled at himself, like he was pleased with something.

Still, I sat down again. He had some kind of agenda, that was obvious. And if it wasn't the expected one, that was
interesting. Or at least interesting enough to distract me from the things that actually mattered.

"So why are you here?" I asked.

"Brought you something."

"What?" Like I cared.

"Just something to help you let go."

"What makes you think I have any interest in doing that?"

He smiled. "Because letting go, that's the key. If you're too scared to let go, you'll never be in control. Not really,
seriously."

"Is that supposed to make sense?" I asked. "Let go so I get control? Do you even listen to yourself talk, or do
you just spit this crap at random?"

"It's all connected," he said, so disgustingly pleased with himself. So sure. People only fear letting go because they
fear they won't be able to go back. That they'll keep going until their urges and instincts destroy them, seriously."

"But you know better? Puh-lease."

"I know you're afraid of what you've turned into, but only because you don't know what you are, not yet. And
because you don't understand it, you think you can't control it."

"You're wrong. I'm just a piece of useless, immortal shit."

"You're a Jashinist," he said. "And that means absolute control-or, if you so choose, absolute release. You have
the power to do anything if you let yourself." He pulled something out of his pocket- a CD. "You wanted to know
why I came looking for you, bitch? To give you this."

He tossed it to me, and I caught it without thinking.

"What's it about?"

"Let's call it a vivid illustration of my point."

I faked a laugh. "What, you trying to do? Brainwash me? Because you're fucking Jashin-sama tells you to?" He
cringed at the tone I used.

"Listen, bit- Sakura, you're being such a bitch about this. Why don't you just fucking trust me for once? Seriously!"

"So, that's what this is?" I asked. "You made it your personal mission to convert me as an all-serving Jashinist?"

He laughed. It made him look kinder. He should laugh more often, if you ask me. Cussing isn't a really nice habit.
"You're not just a bitch, you know? You're paranoid, too" he smirked.

"Is this fun for you? Insulting me every time you open your mouth?"

"A little."

I started to get up again, but he grabbed my arm. "Okay, I'm sorry," he said. "Don't go. Please." I glared, and
after a moment he let go. But I sat down again.

"So is it because you wanted to be immortal, that's why you turned into…"

"A freak?"

"I wasn't gonna say that."

"Because you're a coward," he said.

Shut up."

"Afraid to say what to think. Afraid to do… anything. Afraid to accept the truth."

"Shut up."

"You can't face facts about what you've become, and so you're missing it."

I had never met anyone so disgustingly smug. "You don't know anything about me."

"I know enough," he said. "I know all you care about is your fucking village and you're fucking friends and
family. Guess what? You don't matter. Not to them."

"What the hell do you want from me?" I shouted. It was too much. It was too much for one day, too much
on top of everything. I couldn't deal. I shouldn't have to. "You want me to walk away from everything, to
pretend that the past never happened and that I'm not the person I know I am?"

"That would be a start!"

"I'm not going to destroy myself." I spat. "Not for you. Not for anyone."

I stood up- and this time, although he grabbed my arm again, I didn't hesitate. His fingers wrapped tight
around my wrist. "Don't come looking for me again," I said. "Ever."

"Trust me," he said coldly. "I won't have to"

"I'm going now." I didn't move.

"I'm waiting." He was still holding my wrist.

"Screw you." And then somehow, my hand was on his chest. His fingers tightened on my wrist. He
yanked me toward him. Or I lunged. He grabbed my waist. Or I dug my hips into him. Whatever he did.
Whatever I did. Our faces collided.

I clawed at his shirt, digging into the fabric, struggling for his fresh, wet blood that lay below. His lips
were rough; his kiss was rough. Hard and angry, or maybe that was me, hating him, wanting him, wanting his
hands on my body-anyone's hands on my body-even if it didn't feel the same, it felt right, it felt, for the first
time since the battle, I felt, and I sucked at his lips, and he bit down, a sweet, sharp pain as blood oozed
down my lip.

I pushed him away.

"What the fuck?" he said, startled. "Sakura…"

He came toward me; I jerked away.

"Don't touch me."

I couldn't believe I had done it.

I wanted to get away.

"You really want me to go? You're such a bitch." He looked at me with disgust.

"I-It's just... I know I have to become a full-pledged Jashinist for this, right?"

He nodded. I looked away. I was now alone. Because… just to think about it. To sacrifice innocent people.
To kill. To want. To need. I don't want it, any of it. To actually want to see people getting killed- being
bloodthirsty. But nothing's right anymore. I'm not Sakura Haruno anymore. I'm just a Jashinist who's really
coward to even kill the ones that hated her. I don't matter anymore. Nothing did. Except for one thing. Maybe
he was right. I am a coward.

I know one thing. One thing that matters. Someone that matters the most. And I'm not even brave enough to
admit that. Who am I kidding, he's right, I should forget about the past. I'm going to change. "Watashi no
shinjimasu desu, Jashin-sama! Anato ukemasu deshi kudasai, Sakura Haruno!" she yelled (I accept you, Jashin-
sama! Please accept your follower, Sakura Haruno!) (a/n: Pardon my bad language ^^;). A thunder struck
me and my whole body shook. After I recovered, I stood up and darted towards Hidan's direction. "Hidan!" I
screamed. He froze and turned around.

Before anyone of us could say anything, our lips connected and the world stopped. For once, his lips felt soft,
his body felt warm. Probably because we're the same now. "I love you" I mumbled breathlessly when he pulled
away. "I-I think I… fucking love you too, bitch." He smiled at me. Nothing else matters now. Only me and him.
Fuck the world, whatever they think. He pulled me closer, as if I'm the only one that matters to him. "You're my
life. The air I breathe. My heart that beats. You're the only one that matters to me, bitch. Oh my Jashin, I can't
believe I said that! I look like a fucking pansy now , don't I?" he mumbled. Hell no. I smiled. I grabbed him and
kissed him tenderly- his lips now soft. He returned my kiss. We can stay like this forever. And ever. And ever.

Yuuri: That was long, ain't it? Well, hope you like it!

quoted from the book Skinned by Robin Wasserman (Chapter: Control and Release; pages 262-271)