Hermione Granger was on her way down to the kitchens with her two best friends, Harry Potter and Ron Weasley. After a long day of tests the three had decided to throw a party in Gryffindor Tower so they and their classmates could unwind.
Hermione was currently on the outs with Ron. He was famous for sticking his foot in his mouth and saying things that were thoroughly offensive. Well, he had done it again this morning when Hermione was trying to fix her hair. "Why are you taking so long, it's not like going to get any better?!" Hermione had been giving Ron the cold shoulder all day, not that he'd noticed.
Upon arriving in the kitchens Harry asked Dobby to retrieve everything they wanted to serve at the party and they all sat around to wait. As they were waiting Hermione was contemplating slipping some Jelly Slugs into Ron's drink when he wasn't looking. Ron always gets a little green around the gills after that backfired slug curse in second year.
"I dare you!" Harry said rather loudly, pulling Hermione out of her daydreaming.
"No way am I doing that, it's disgusting!" Ron replied.
"Muggles do it all the time; it's supposed to be good for you." Harry said.
"What are you two up to now?" Hermione asked. "And be quiet, we don't want to be caught in here."
"Harry's trying to trick me into swallowing a raw egg. He says muggles do it all the time, but I know he's full of it." Ron seems so proud of himself, let's burst his bubble.
"Actually Ron, Harry's right." Hermione smugly informed them. "Muggles do that. Eggs are full of protein you know. However I wouldn't recommend eating raw eggs, you can contract salmonella from doing that."
With a wicked gleam in her eye Hermione continued. "Besides Ron, I have a much better dare for you. If you accept I'll forgive you for this morning."
"What did I do this morning?" Ron asked
"If you can't figure that out on you own you'll just be in that much more trouble with me. No help on school work, no partner in potions, no notes to copy…"
"Fine I'll do the dare!" Ron interrupted. Apparently the thought of actually doing his own school work was enough to overcome the fear of the unknown.
"So, what's this dare anyway?" Harry asked, feeling totally out of the loop.
"All Ron has to do," Hermione said as she walked over to the refrigerator. "Is drink this potion." She pulled a small vial of purple liquid off of the top shelf and handed it to Ron.
"I'm not drinking that, I don't even know what it is!" Ron sputtered.
"It can't be dangerous, or it would be locked up somewhere. Not just sitting in the kitchens where anyone could get their hands on it." Hermione said
"She's got a point there." Harry added happily, interested to see where this was going.
"Fine, I'll drink it, but if I die I want my tomb stone to say Murdered by Hermione Granger." Ron said defensively.
Smirking in a way that resembled Malfoy she handed over the vial. Hermione and Harry held their breath and waited to see the aftermath of the unknown potion. Grinning like a Cheshire cat in a field of cat nip Hermione watched Ron down the bubbling purple liquid in one gulp.
After a few seconds it seemed like nothing was going to happen. Then quietly there was a noise in the room. It grew steadily louder until it sounded like a stampeding herd of rabid hippogriffs had invaded the kitchen. Who knew such a horrible noise could come from one boy's stomach?
Ron jumped up and ran out of the room clutching his stomach. Simultaneously Hermione collapsed onto the floor in a fit of laughter.
"What the hell was that stuff?" Harry asked "You know your potions Hermione; I know you knew what that was. What did you give him?"
"La…La…hahahahahaha!!" Hermione tried to control her laughter.
"La…hehehe…Laxitive!" She finally managed to gasp out.
"Laxative? You mean… Oh Merlin! Hahaha!!" Harry finally catching on began to laugh uncontrollably at the thought of Ron stuck in the loo all night and missing the party. Serves him right for not thinking before he opens that mouth of his.
"Wait Hermione, how did laxatives get into the kitchens?" He asked.
"It belongs to Snape! Hahaha… He… He … he keeps them in here because he doesn't want to go see Madam Pomfrey!" Hermione said, giggles finally subsiding so she could speak.
Just thinking of Snape needing a laxative potion was causing Harry to giggle even more. "I can't believe Snape needs a laxative!" He laughed
"Well of course he does." Hermione said matter-of-factly, "Why do you think he always has that horrible look on his face?"