A/N: Yay I've always wanted to write SasoDei and here it is! Will be updated sporadically whenever inspiration strikes =3 Reviews much appreciated!

Sasori and Deidara seem to be opposite in every way whether it be their artistic standpoints or personalities. In fact, one may wonder why they were together in the first place. At a glance, there seems to be nothing that binds them together other than the fact that they're both the only artists in Akatsuki. Therefore, it was inevitable that someone at some point would question their unorthodox relationship.

Anyone idiotic enough to approach Sasori regarding the matter would be immediately subjected to his Lethal Glare™ (which was only second to the Uchiha Glare of Doom™) until the person either the person either hightailed out of there or if they were really brave (stupid/Hidan) and persisted then the questioner could be expected to mysteriously become bedridden in horrible pain and agony for 2 weeks...if Sasori was in a generous mood.

Someone with half a brain would have known better than to approach Sasori and would have instead turned to Deidara. Depending on his mood and what he was doing, 50% of the time (in his more volatile moods) he would most likely attempt to make you into his art for even asking such a thing and 49% of the time he would completely ignore you in favour of doing something more productive and entertaining (like making you into his art). On the rare instances that he was feeling extremely friendly (slightly buzzed, you don't want a wasted Deidara with clay), he might just answer your question.

After witnessing the 349th row between the artistic duo (yes he's been counting, after all, there are limited forms of entertainment at the Akatsuki base) his curious sharky nature got the better of him. Plus he was bored beyond belief.

Now, while Kisame did not possess the genius of his partner, he wasn't exact stupid either. Even if he didn't have any brains, every man knows that alcohol is one sure way to get the tongue nice and loose for certain endeavours...no not THAT kind of endeavour you sick pervert.

The most difficult part of this noble quest for Kisame would be to actually approach the target (Deidara) without suffering any major damage (Art un!) and then for the target to actually consume enough alcohol for him to be slightly intoxicated. With a cunning strategy in mind, Kisame approached Deidara with several bottles of the lethal truth serum liquid substance in hand.

After several days of collecting information on the target, Kisame had come to the conclusion that the target was most docile when replenishing vital nutrients. In other words, the only time that Deidara would maybe give a shit about what anyone has to say (except Sasori, Deidara will always listen to him but that's obvious) would be when he was eating. Armed with this information, Kisame was finally ready to execute his master plan.

Deidara was currently in the dining room finishing off his meal when Kisame placed the bottles on the dining table and sat on the opposite side. Deidara glanced at the bottles before glancing at Kisame in a questioning manner. Kisame took a deep breath before uttering the crucial question.

"Artists are all pansies who can't hold alcohol like REAL men."

Okay, it was more of a statement but the explosion was immediate. After a flurry of furious un's and hand gestures the game was on as Deidara was NEVER one to back down from a challenge.

"I'll show you pansy you Uchiha butt-kissing shark bastard, un!"

Several bottles of sake later, both missing-nins were pleasantly buzzed. By then, Deidara had pretty much forgotten about defending his manly honour. Tch, men. Kisame decided that now was the time to subtly ask the question.

"So, what do you see in puppet boy anyway?" Meh, Kisame was never one for subtle.

To that, a chesire grin slowly spread across Deidara's face.

"Weeeeeeelll, Sasori-Danna is a puppet master," Deidara stated in a matter-of-factly way. Which it pretty much was.

"...and?"

"He can use chakra strings." An eyebrow was lifted in a suggestive manner.

Upon hearing THAT answer, Kisame's eyebrows shot up. This seemed to be more promising than he had originally suspected. He refilled their sake cups whilst gesturing for Deidara to continue. A small voice in the back of Deidara's head warned him that this was a bad idea but for the life of him, he couldn't remember why. The thought was quickly brushed aside as he accepted invitations quite enthusiastically.

"And did you know that not all poisons are unpleasant, un?"

3 hours later, Deidara was running away from Sasori in hopes of living to see another day. He wasn't just quite ready to go out with a bang yet. At least now he knew why the voice was warning him against discussing their sex life. Sasori had walked into the dining feeling rather pissed as he realised what the topic of conversation was. By then, Hidan, Itachi and Konan had joined in and all were feeling rather amused as Deidara described his and Sasori's sex life in much detail complete with hand gestures and all.

Deidara dodged to the left as a kunai whizzed right across his ear and as he jumped right before he would have been speared by the poison-tipped coil he swore that if he made it through this in one piece, he'd never advertise his and Sasori's sex life ever again.