Chapter One
I'm sorry! I'm sorry I didn't wait for you! She thought wildly, as her world screamed away.
"Dead," was her statement. She stared blankly through the glass at the redhead across from her. "Dead as in, not breathing?"
"Yes," Willow replied. God, telling Angel had been better than telling Faith. She just sat there, beyond the glass, staring blankly, barely clutching the telephone. "Faith I'm so sorry you had to find out like this…" Willow rushed, stopping at the flinch in Faith's eyes.
"Step away from the glass," she whispered, dropping her phone. Willow frowned, but did as she was ordered. Faith's form came crashing though, and Willow screamed as Faith tackled her out the window. They landed on a car below, a little worse for wear, but mostly unharmed. The Slayer brushed herself off, then helped Willow stand.
"What was that?" Willow exclaimed, looking up at the shouting guards, who had stuck their heads stupidly out the window.
"Seemed like I was breaking out." Faith said simply, breaking into one of the cars. "Your town has no Slayer, and I just might have the creds." Willow gaped at her, but jumped into the car. She was taking Buffy's death so much in stride, it was worrying. After the Angel fiasco, the two Slayers had been lovers, until Faith had gone to jail. Their love had not been smothered, however. So why was Faith not as broken as Angel had been?
"Umm, Faith?" Willow asked tentatively as Faith sped out of the parking lot, tires screeching. The woman's face was impassive, impossible to read. What was she thinking? "Are you alright?"
"I'm fine," was the sharp answer she received, and Willow understood the order to drop it. "We just gotta get outta here. Drop by to see Angel, maybe. You've told him, right?" Willow heard the question beneath the question, who had they told first? The answer was Angel, but Willow wasn't going to divulge that.
"Well, Xander told him while I was on my way here, maybe a few hours ago." Willow said, remembering. She had been there, seen Angel fall to his knees; throw his friends away from him. He had stormed up the stairs, demolishing things along the way. Cordelia had noted that nothing would ever be right in the hotel, with all the stuff he had broken. He had not come down the whole time Willow and Xander had been there. They told Cordelia the whole story, if Angel wanted to know later.
"So we'll go there," Faith said, turning left sharply. Her fingers drummed on the wheel, but her face was still calm. Willow was just waiting for the other shoe to drop, when Faith would get it. Buffy was gone, and the Scoobies were all alone, leaderless. Willow turned around, but she could not longer see police cars in the distance. They had lost them, finally. "Where are their offices now? Angel told me they moved." Faith's low voice pulled Willow from her thoughts. She pointed in the right direction. It wasn't far; they'd be there within five minutes.
"Faith, if you want to talk…" Willow tried, knowing the answer before she started. Faith's face closed, and there came no sound from her lips. Finally,
"No. I want to see Angel."
Willow sighed, and looked out the window of their stolen car. Would Faith ever talk to her? Willow got it, she felt the loss too. Best friend here, hello! But Faith would always feel she was alone. She wanted to see Angel, Buffy's only other love. This might not go to well.
Another sharp turn, where had Faith learned to drive? They pulled up at the hotel, parking near the door. The two just sat, Faith breathing heavily. "What am I going to find in there?" she asked. Willow wondered how she had guessed that everyone had been there, but answered anyway.
"It's bad. Angel just snapped. Wouldn't let his friends near, crashed up the stairs. I don't know if he's come down yet. Xander is still here. I was to pick him up after seeing you. They aren't expecting you," she said, smiling wryly at the end. Faith nodded, her hand going to the door handle. She paused, catching Willow's eye. Willow saw, for one desperate moment, the extent of Faith's hurt. Nothing was okay, nothing was normal. She could break, just like Angel had, any minute. Willow took charge, yanking her door open. "If anything, we need to get Xander," she supplied, watching as Faith climbed unsteadily out of the car. Her swagger was soon back as they approached to doors. Always playing to unperturbed one, Willow thought. Faith worked so hard to hide herself; the fall would be so hard.
They walked through the door, and Xander's voice was heard instantly. "Will! You're finally back! I can't wait to get – oh… you brought a friend?" He looked at Faith. She seemed as tough as she had when they first met. Maybe Willow hadn't told her yet? But then why was Faith here, if she didn't know? He looked at Willow, and she nodded slightly, her face sad. So Faith did know, and just didn't care? "Faith," he said coolly, he had never really liked her after her and Buffy started up. It was too weird.
She didn't even notice his presence. She looked at Cordelia, who sat at the desk, looking guarded and shocked. Silently, she pointed up the stairs, and Faith nodded her thanks. She walked slowly up the stairs, her legs felt like lead, heavy and stiff. She had to do this. She needed to talk with Angel, maybe he could help her. Faith's whole body felt numb, untouched. She was detached, as if watching from the outside. Nothing was real anymore, nothing was fine. She had to see Angel; he was probably in better shape than she was. Of course he was fine now, he was Angel.
She called out his name softly, unsure of where he was. This place was huge! She saw nothing. She called again, then heard something. A muffled shuffling. He was avoiding her. Faith's resolve strengthened. She barreled into the first room she found, but stopped dead in her tracks. He was there. Angel was there, hunched over, obviously crying. Faith had never seen him cry, nor seen him look so small and lost. She moved slowly toward him, and sat next to him. "Angel," she said softly, turning his face towards hers. "What are we gonna do?"
"Do?' he asked, his confusion pausing his quiet sobs for a moment. He searched her face. This was his rival, the other contender for Buffy's affections. This girl was human, a slayer, a woman, and Buffy had loved her. And Buffy had forgotten him, so it seemed, and then, Buffy had left. "She jumped Faith," he said, his voice cracking. "She jumped off a tower to save the world. She wanted to go, we can't do a thing."
"No!" Faith whispered fiercely. She shook Angel. "We can do something. We can protect what she died for! We can follow her footsteps! We can live, and die, for the cause! She was a hero Angel, now it's our turn!" Faith shook again, looking for understanding in his face. She found none.
"I'm staying in LA," he said, turning away from her. Faith stood, shaking with anger.
"Did you even love her? Is this whole grief thing an act? Are you just gonna sit here on your ass while your girlfriend dies each night, saving the world?" she screamed, startling the silent figures in the hotel lobby. Willow sighed, it was cracking, and it was all falling apart. Goading Angel would not make Faith feel better, not matter what the Slayer thought. Cordelia looked up suddenly, as a body flew down the stairs. It was Angel, battered and broken. Faith stood on the steps, looking as badly beaten as her opponent.
"Will you let it be for nothing?" she yelled, following Angel's rolling body down the steps. Willow, Xander and Cordelia stood in shock, watching as Faith hauled the vampire to his feet, punching his face.
"Didn't you?" he mumbled. "You sat in your cell, leaving her to rot. She waited for you Faith! She wouldn't have anyone else! She waited for you! But you never really loved her, I'm betting."
Gunn ran into the next room, grabbing a sword. Cordelia stopped him as he moved past her. "Stop, this just might work." She whispered, not looking away from the dueling two.
"What are you talking about?" Gunn asked, and both Xander and Willow were listening. What was Cordy thinking?
"Don't you see what she's doing? Yea, she's venting, but she's also putting the fight back in him!" Cordelia said, wincing as Faith threw across the room.
"That the best you can do?" Faith sneered at the teetering vampire. "No wonder she died, there was nothing for her to stick around for!" Angel growled, lunging at Faith. She easily sidestepped him, elbowing his back as he sailed past. Angel was forced to the ground, and Faith pinned him. "Maybe… she thought you just didn't get the mission, bro. Maybe she thought you weren't useful, huh? Well, come on, Soulboy, prove her wrong!" she punched his face again. "Prove her wrong!" she yelled, pulling herself away, and running outside. Willow heard the car door slam, and the screech of tires.
"Well, there goes our ride," she said dryly to Xander, who was staring at Angel is horror and fascination.
Chapter Two
She drove, not stopping at reds, or stop signs. She drove until she hit desert. She drove until her gas ran low, then stopped, got more, then kept on. She had to see her. Faith pushed the pedal harder. Sunnydale was coming up. She could patrol, find Buffy. Talk with her again. There were almost twenty cemeteries in Sunnydale, but Buffy would be in Restfield, her favorite. Her car roared past the Welcome to Sunnydale sign, and into the nearest lot. She got out, scanning her surroundings. Good, Restfield was close.
Breaking into a run, Faith took off, not thinking. She just needed to see Buffy. Explain why she couldn't be there, to catch her, to save her. The trees and houses rushed past, not registering. Her feet took her the correct way, getting her to her destination quickly. She searched around, her feet taking her to Buffy's favorite spot. And sure enough, she was there.
Grey marble proudly bore Buffy's name, and Faith sat down heavily in front of it. "Hey babe," she whispered, touching the letters of her lover's name. "It's been awhile. I want you to know that I was collecting good merit points so I could call you. I didn't forget you, no matter what you thought." Faith looked at her hands, then on impulse, stretched out on the ground, her head against the stone. "God Buffy, you would've hated it there. All these chicks coming on to you, and crazy ones too. God, I've missed you. I know you were mad about what happened, but I'm glad that you came, even if only once in awhile." Suddenly, Faith heard a rustle in the trees in front of her. Her Slayer senses felt the tingles of a vampire near. "Little fucker, interrupting us."
A blond head walked out from behind the trees. Faith jumped to her feet. "Who are you?" the vampire demanded, looking angry. She had no idea why, but also didn't care.
"I'm Faith," she said perkily, paying homage to Buffy, "the Vampire Slayer!" The vampire snarled, but made no move towards her, and didn't even look like he would defend himself. If anything, he looked a little drunk.
"So you're the new one, eh? My bird dies and you fly up. How quaint." He said stiffly, watching Faith. Faith started, why was this guy calling Buffy his?
"Who are you?" she asked warily, sizing him up. He looked strong, but drunk, and unwilling to fight. The vamp laughed, and it was cold, harsh and brittle.
"Name's Spike. I'm just wondering what you're doing talking to my girl," he pointed at the headstone. Faith gaped. Buffy would never! Not after what she had said.
"You…and Buffy?" she asked, disbelieving. Who was this guy, anyway? This Spike guy smiled a wistful smile.
"No, not me and Buffy." Faith visibly relaxed, and Spike noticed, but continued. "I loved her, but she told me she had someone waiting. That, I'm guessing, is you." He looked down, then measured up the Slayer. She was taller than Buffy had been, but full of power. Buffy had loved her, he was told, more than Angel, more than anything. And this Faith girl had loved her back twofold. Till the bird got sent away to prison on murder charges. It had been hell for Buffy, but she never stopped loving the other Slayer. Never any room for Spike. He figured that he should hate this girl, his rival, but he didn't. Hearing her talk to Buffy's grave, he heard the love in her voice, the gentle caress in which she spoke. This Slayer was broken by Buffy's death, just as much as he was. "Care for a drink?" he asked surprising Faith.
She had felt his eyes upon her, and wondered how much he knew about Buffy and her. Was he angry, that she would speak to her lover, while he loved Buffy too? Was he bitter, that Buffy had chosen Faith? She nodded swiftly, turning her head to wipe her eyes. Being here hurt so much, it was unbearable. It seemed real now, what she had to do. She needed to protect Sunnydale, but without Buffy. Alone, like the Slayer she was. It was heartbreaking and Faith's shoulders slumped from the weight of it. She trailed after Spike, not thinking about anything but Buffy.
"Are you alright?" Cordelia asked gently, bringing Angel his cup of blood. He nodded absently, obviously elsewhere. Finally, Cordelia had had enough. "Honestly! Did Faith kick your ass for nothing? Did she teach you nothing?" she demanded, snatching the mug back. Angel looked up in surprise, obviously not expecting another assault. "What is your problem!" she cried, throwing his mug into the wall near Gunn's head. "You're gonna do something, right? You're gonna get off your ass, you're gonna get better, then you're gonna help people, right? Cause that's what we do here! Right?" she was angry as hell, but Angel just looked stunned. She snapped her fingers in front of his face. "Hey! Cordy speaking here! I guess Faith was right! You were no use to Buffy!" She left Angel sitting there. Gunn whistled.
"Man, you got all the chicks whooping your ass today, huh?" he patted Angel's shoulder, then walked away. "Call me when Angel gets back," he said, over his shoulder.
"Xander, what are we gonna do?" Willow asked, crying softly in the front seat of their rental car. "We lost B-Buffy, a-and now w-we don't know where Faith is!" She covered her face with her hands. Xander smiled ruefully.
"I know where Faith is. She's with Buffy." He said simply, as he drove quickly through the desert night towards Sunnydale. Willow looked up, puzzled.
"What do you mean?" She sniffed, accepting the offered tissue. Xander looked at her again.
"She's gone to see Buffy. The grave, Will. She had to see her." He said, pulling into the Summer's driveway, to be greeted by the worst sight could've imagined. Faith and Spike sat on the porch with Dawn, and both the Slayer and vampire looked drunk out of their minds. Dawn looked sober, but she hanging with Spike and Faith, that was not good.
"Dawn!" he called, jumping from the car. Dawn looked up and smiled. She had not done that since Buffy had died. It was a warm and inviting sight, and Xander immediately felt better. "Are you alright?"
"I'm fine," she said as he approached. "I'm just hanging with the funny drunks. They're gonna hate the world in the morning." Dawn paused thoughtfully, her face marred by an heartbreaking thought. "But then, they probably already do."
"Yea, I guess you're right. Let's go inside" Xander said, herding Dawn inside. He could hear Faith and Spike clearly, they were reminiscing about Buffy's hair. Of all the things they loved about Buffy, all they could talk of was her hair?
"Stupid vampire….thinks he's the only one with pain…oh, I'll give him pain…" Cordy was muttering angrily as she dusted ferociously. She knew Angel could hear he across the room, but she was fine with that. "Thinks he's so great… love of all time…boo hoo…stupid vampire!"
Suddenly, Angel stood. Cordelia stopped to look at him. "I'm fine now," he whispered. "Call Gunn, we have work to do." A huge grin spread on Cordelia's face and she launched herself at him.
"Angel, you can be sad, you know, but you still need to be Angel!" she cried, hugging him tightly. Angel winced as she squeezed his cracked ribs, but hugged her back nonetheless.
"God…I'll never drink again…" Faith mumbled as she rolled from Buffy's bed. She had a killer hangover, and a vampire in her closet. How did that happen again? Oh, she remembered now. He had been a lightweight, passing out, and Faith had dragged him here to sleep it off. She walked down the stair to find dawn making lunch. "Food?" Faith inquired hopefully. Dawn smiled and passed her a sandwhich.
"Where's Spike?" Dawn asked, hoping what she thought happened, hadn't.
"In the closet," Faith said absently, flicking through the newspaper. She looked up and saw Dawn's horrified face. "Nothing happened!" she assured the girl. "He just passed out, so I stuffed him in there." Dawn smiled, relieved. Suddenly, a muffled roar come from upstairs.
"I guess he's waking up," the teenager said. "Should I get him?" Faith shook her head. There was no need. He would learn all he needed to later.
"Dawn," Faith said gently. "I'll never try to replace your sister, but I will be living her, Slayer in residence, and I will be in charge. I'm pretty cool, so things should be fine. I'm just saying, things are different, now that… now that she's gone." Dawn nodded sadly, listening.
Faith shook her head. Everything was so clear. The new Slayer would come here, and Faith would train her. Eventually, Faith would die, and join Buffy in wherever she was. Until then, she just needed to learn to live again.