Hiya, all.

I wanted to do something different, so I decided to do a oneshot that started with no dialogue and ended with lots of dialogue.

I've noticed most of my fics are dialogue all of the way through, basically.

I was thinking about what to write.

And an image of Itachi drunk raced through my mind.

I went ROFL.

And knew I had to write about it.

So here it is.

NOTE: THIS IS AN OC/SIBLING INSERT STORY. This story features two of my OCs: Sia and Mint. Sia is, as always, Itachi and Sasuke's middle sister. Mint, I decided to play with her character (since Sakura is in here) and I didn't make her a Haruno. Instead, she's Kakashi's niece! Mint Hatake...it has a nice ring to it (ish)!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything but Sia and Mint. And money to get a lawyer to get a restraining order against Itachi while he's drunk.

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And This is My Family

Sia Uchiha was NOT happy Uchiha at the moment.

Although it went without saying that Uchihas WEREN'T happy. That just weren't. No. That was…out of the 'norm' zone, to be happy.

But then again, Sia wasn't a very normal Uchiha.

As Uchihas went.

The black-haired, green-eyed odd-one-out Uchiha sipped her Pepsi slowly, her eyes narrowed. Her gaze-er, glare casted over the chaotic get-together.

She was at the refreshment table, at the fringes of the party, by herself.

She continued to unsuccessfully search for her date, Gaara no Sabaku. The two had been dating for little under a year and she had dragged him to this shebang (1) in hopes that her parents would approve.

She'd figured they would, since he was like her two brothers-

a). Mysterious.

b). Dark

c). A man of little words.

and, the one that all Uchihas were when they weren't pleased… d). A jerk.

He wasn't as bad as of a jerk as her two brothers were, but, sometimes, she wondered if he acted so stiff because he had a pole shoved up his ass.

Apparently, Gaara had said, the 'jerk' genetic ran in the Sabaku family too.

"SIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Her older brother chirped, swinging an arm around her shoulders, a beer clutched in his other hand. "I MISSSSEED YOUUUUUUUUU! Have you been avoiding us? Why are you at the edge of the party? C'mon, danccccccccee wit' meeeeeeeeeeeee!!"

"…Itachi…are you drunk?" She asked her five-year-older brother.

He grinned down at her. "Pr'b'bly," He smirked. "I dunno, but I've got this pleasant feeeeeellllliiiiing in my stomaaaaaaachhhhhhhh-"

"Oh my god. You really ARE drunk," She muttered, burying her face in her hands.

She had seen him doing a lot of WEIRD things, but she had NEVER seen him get drunk before.

This was a first.

"…Itachi…where's your date?"

"…Miiiiinnnnnt? I dunnnnnnoooooo…" He slurred.

"Itachi?"

Sia turned around to see a pretty brown-haired girl with red streaks in her hair.

"….Minnnnnnnnt my love!" Itachi slurred.

"...Oh. My. God. You're drunk," She said, slipping over to them.

"Mint, I presume, his girlfriend?" Sia asked. She nodded. "I'm Sia. Sia Uchiha. His sister."

"Oh!" Her eyes widened. "…Mint. Mint Hatake."

'…Are you related to Kakashi Hatake, by any chance?"

She grinned. "Yeah. I'm his niece."

"…Er. OK," Sia said. She pushed a lock of her hair behind her ear.

"…By the way, I like your shoes. A lot," Sia smirked.

Mint grinned. "Thanks! I likes yours, too."

"I WAAAAAAANNAAAAA DAAAAANNNNNNCCCCEEEEEEE WIIIIIIIIIIT YYYYYYOOOOOUUUUUUU!" Itachi shrilled at the top of his lungs.

"Soooo…what are we going to do with my drunk brot-"

"Hnn," A voice said in Sia's ear.

She half-turned. "Sasuke!"

"Hnn,' My younger brother smirked.

"Hey, where's your wife?" Sia teased him.

He scowled. "She's not my wife. And she's talking to mom."

"Oh…have you seen my date, by any chance?"

"Yeah. He's talking to dad," Sasuke said.

"SAAAASSSSSUUUUUUU-CHHHHHHAAAAAYYYYYYNNNNNNNN!" Itachi chirped, lunging away from Sia and grabbing a hold of Sasuke.

"…What the-"

"He's drunk," Mint dead-panned.

Sasuke, noticing her for the first time, raised an eyebrow.

"That's Mint," Sia said helpfully. "Itachi's girlfriend."

"She's the puuuurrrrttttyyyyyiiieeeesssssstttttttt thhhhhhiiiiiinnnnng evvvvvvverrrrrrr. 'Cept for youuuuuu, Sasuuuuu-chaaaayyyyynnnnn. You'reeeee purrrrtyyyyyeerrrrr," Itachi slurred.

"…How many has he had?" Sia asked Mint.

She shrugged. "He had five when he was with me."

Sasuke looked at his older brother. "…He's been reduced to an utter pile of mush."

"Oh, I know, you're disgusted because he's not acting like an Uchiha," Sia sighed.

"No," Sasuke glared.

"Oh stop lying!" A pink-haired female appeared out of nowhere at Sia's side. "Hey, Sia."

"Sakura! I was wondering when you'd show up!" Sia grinned.

Sakura smiled. "Hey Mint…er. Wow. Sasuke-kun…why is Itachi draped over your shoulder?"

"My date's drunk, isn't it obvious?" Mint sighed.

"Yes, ver-GAARA!" Sia hugged her date. "How're you since I last saw you?"

"You're dad just about drilled me into the ground," He growled.

"Oh. I'm sorry," Sia said. "Well-you know Sasuke, and Sakura-"

"Hnn," Sasuke said, smirking.

"Hnn," Gaara smirked back.

Sakura sighed.

"-this is my older brother Itachi, who is currently drunk as hell-"

"Raaaaaaaaiiiiiiinnnnnboooooowwwwwsssss arrrrrreeeeee sooooooooooo purrrrtttttyyyyyy," Itachi sighed from Mint's arms. As soon as Sakura had arrived, Sasuke had transferred Itachi over to his date.

"…" Gaara stared.

"-yeah, it's creepy, I know. And that's his date, Mint."

'Hello."

"Aa."

Silence. The five of us stared at each other.

"Miiiiinnnnnnnt-chhhhhhaaaaaayyyyyynnnnnn, I'mmmmmm alllll out offffff beeerrrrrrrrr," Itachi whined. "I wannnnnnnnt annnnotthhhhherrrrrrrr."

'No," she said sternly. "You've had enough."

'Buuuuuuuuut-"

"NO."

He pouted. Mint took the beer bottle away from him and waved it at one of Sia's aunts. She took it, with a knowing look.

"Well, I better get him seated," She apologized to the rest of them. "He'll probably starting throwing up soon-"

"Miiiiiiinnnnnnt, theeeee faaaaiiiieeerrrriiiieeeeesssss haaaavvvvveeeee cooooommmmmmmeeee tooooo taaaakeee ussssss aaaawwwwaaaayyyyyyyy! WEEEEEE CAAAAAAAN GOOOOO TOOO AAAA HAAPPPYYY PLA-"

Mint dragged him away.

They all blinked.

"Hnn," Gaara and Sasuke said at the same time.

"…Wow…" Sakura said.

Sia huffed, running a hand through her hair.

"Yes. This is SO fun," She muttered. "Watching Itachi get drunk, having Gaara being questioned by my father…I'm not going to another one of these."

"Hnn," Sasuke said.

"…Hey, I have a GREAT idea," Sia said.

"Hnn?"

"Aa?"

"Yeah?"

"…Let's leave, and the four of us go out to dinner. Any second now, the adults are gonna start getting drunk and the conga line is gonna start up."

Sasuke blinked. "Sia."

'Yes?"

"That is a great idea. Let's go."

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And later on, after the four left, Itachi jumped on the refreshment table and danced like a goofball. And made out with Mint in front of everyone else.

Ah, the things Itachi does when he's drunk.

I just love making fun of Ita.

I still love him, though.

(1). Shebang- A party, get-together.

PLEASE REVIEW...

But no flames.

Ja ne,

Lady Maybelle of Confusion