Redemption

She starred at him in the soft light of the twilight. In that pitch black of his suit, it seemed that those eyes were screaming. And she knew what, she could understand, even if he would wore that mask. Suddenly she thought she was living a dream, a lie, while his glance penetrated into her soul, branding her from the inside. The blood flowed inside their veins ardently. Words unspoken were whispered into a thin air. Their hands were eager to touch, with the bitter knowledge that they couldn't do it.

Chapter 1

Will you really be able to be not tempted by the dark side of the force?

Luke Skywalker's words resounded in her skull, until that question became a feeble echo. A huge weight in her heart seemed to be blocking her heartbeats and she could feel her fingers tremble like leaves. Just few hours earlier, she had answered that question with a resolute and clear yes, but the closer they were getting to the First Order base, the more her certainties were crashing like a thin glass sheet. She clutched the worn out cloth of her old dress, her eyes were wandering everywhere, trying to ease the pressure with which the angst was weighing her body down.

The direct consequence of angst is panic, panic is the result of fear, fear leads to the dark side.

She had to be careful or she would surely fail.

Her master, General Leia, Finn, the whole Resistance, even droids counted on her, and if she thought this would bring her honor before, now there was just a nagging fear of making mistakes and fail everyone.

Fear leads to the dark side. That's what has happened to Ben Solo.

She gulped down. Even though she got used to it, being quiet now would only burden her, and that wasn't for sure a feeling that helped her self-control. She turned her gaze to the right, onto Finn, meaning to have a little chat, but also that initiative died on her lips, before she could even utter some words.

Thus she started sweating cold and some of her loose tresses got stuck to her neck and her temples.

Stop panicking.

She kept on repeating that to herself, until words lost their meaning and syllables seemed to be stuck together in an illogical and meaningless sense.

She would have wanted to unfasten her safety belt, stand up and shout to the top of her voice that she wasn't ready for that mission. She would have disappointed her master, but it was better sooner than later, wasn't it?

Speculation about her possibly leaving the scene was distracting her from what she swore she had to face. Only a couple of minutes later she realized she could not escape from her destiny. She could not just run away.

She closed her eyes, leant her head against the seat cushion and took a deep breath.

Force is all around us, it surrounds us, it flows through us. All it takes to feel it is to close your eyes.

And she truly felt it.

It was the most reassuring sensation she had ever felt, although that was not the first time she had drawn the light onto herself.

The light wrapped her up in a maternal embrace, it brushed every inch of her skin and seeped down through her muscles, making her unclench and giving her a sudden surge of courage and determination.

She opened up her eyes, breathing out through her lips. That prospect, which a few seconds earlier had her filled with anxiety and fear, now did not get anything across her, even though that boulder-like weigh was still there in her chest, squeezing her heart in a grip which had slackened a little bit, but not dissolved yet.

"I have a bad feeling about this." Rey directed her glance back at her friend, noticing how his hazel-brown gaze was now staring at a void horizon; she could feel his concern, mirroring in his emotions.

"Are you afraid that this mission can take a different turn?" she asked him, when she was sure he wouldn't have kept on talking. "I'm afraid for you." he admitted in a low voice, his glance encumbered with apprehension. Rey laid her hand on his dark fingers, running imaginary circles on the back of his hand. She grinned, and looking at him affectionately, like a sister, she told him: "Everything is going to be alright, that's a promise".

Those eyes, so beautiful, and that smile, so gentle, they were perfectly soothing and yet, Finn did not believe her. He drew his hands back, avoiding her touch. In that moment, her sweetness was burning him, it felt like it was branding him inside. The way she smiled at him reminded him that most likely he wouldn't have seen it anymore. He looked away and kept on staring everywhere but her.

"You can't promise something that doesn't depend on you" he told her coolly, while she tried to grasp the reason of that icy behavior, wondering where she did wrong.

Not knowing what she could answer, she chose silence as an alternative, putting an end to that brief discussion.

Their friendship started getting worse when Rey left Finn on that stretcher to go searching for Luke. They fought quite often and about the most futile reasons, and that made her feel awful. An ironic chuckle formed on her lips, wow I'm really not cut out for being a Jedi.

And yet, why did she set out to take the padawan's path under Master Luke Skywalker? Who made her do it?

She relinquished those negative thoughts, she shook her head, calling herself a stupid for this.

Her fingers dwelt on the security belt buckles, willing to move from there or anxiety and frustration would come back stronger than before.

"What are you doing?" a soldier of the Resistance startled her and made her jump on the seat. "we're 'bout to land and you can't stand up."

"Okay" she whispered, while her heart jumped up to her throat with each beat. The mission had just begun and now there was no time for fear anymore.

General Leia wanted to make advantage of the surprise factor, believing that the First Order had not yet recovered from the huge loss of men and weapons after the attack at the Starkiller base, but, as Finn knew perfectly well, the First Order was powerful.

They intercepted the signal of an unregistered ship as soon as it had cut across the planet atmosphere, so General Hux commanded that five hundred Stormtroopers were deployed by the landing site.

They apparently had just lost the surprise factor.

The Resistance soldiers unfastened their security belts, put on their safety helmets, got equipped with weapons and, splitting up in two uniform rows, leapt out of the ship.

Red was the dominant color that painted the battle scenery: the air, because of the blasters and the ground, because of the blood of the injured. From the triangular shaped bull's eyes, Rey and Finn were silently staring, waiting for action.

" We're nothing compared to them" commented Rey in a low voice, walking away from the bull's eye.

"What are you doing?" asked Finn, looking at her with a curious frown.

"I gotta go, you know what the plan is, don't you?"

"I know the plan, but now it's not the right moment for you to go." He closed the distance between them, grabbing her wrist and blocking her off right before the trailing edge. He looked her right through her eyes.

"The longer I wait for action, the more soldiers die, I gotta go now."

"Not now." That, more than a command, sounded like a plea. They just stood there for mere seconds, without saying a word.

"You told me before that I can't promise things that do not depend on me, you were right about that" she paused, disentangling herself from under Finn's grip.

"But what I am making now is a promise I will honor, at all costs: Finn, we will see each other again." He could not reply, because she had already turned her back on him. Rey leapt out of the ship and she ran as fast as she could towards a giant boulder, having a hard time in ducking the laser blows which were shot from several blasters.

When she reached her destination, she leaned onto the rock wall, trying to catch up her breath. She jumped onto the ground just in time, dodging a blaster blow and she inadvertently ended up rolling down from a little slope. She could only slow down her fell when she bumped her right foot into a log. An acute pain to her ankle made her nerve endings flare up and she let out a scream, while reaching out for her ankle; a sixth sense told her she had just broken it. How could she ever hope to climb back to where she came from, with her leg roughed up like that?

She had to move out, because a stormtrooper body was sliding down the slope and judging from the way it was falling, it surely would have collided with her.

As soon as she moved, she realized that the pain, although intense and throbbing, was bearable, so she plucked up her courage, helping herself up with her hands and with her good leg, and she climbed the hill.

Halfway though, her arms surrendered among frustration groans and sticky sweat mixed with mud. She got up and running more painfully than quickly, she reached the same boulder she was hiding when she got there in the first place.

She rolled over onto her back, she caught up her breath in a minute or so, and after a while she tried to get up, in vain: she could not set her foot down, the pain was too acute and running had only worsened her situation.

She decided that would be the place they would find her (as if she has a choice, given the circumstances). She crouched down against the boulder, she drew out from the leather bag the syringe with the yellowish liquid inside and with no further thought she injected the needle in her right thigh, pulling it out when she was sure that not even a drop was left in the vial. In less than few seconds, her head started spinning around and her strength was failing her, the sedative was producing its effect on her body. Anyway, before she could lose her consciousness, she dug a hole in the ground, burying the needle, so that no one could find it. She lay on the leaves and closed her eyes. The pain in her ankle, the perception and the control of her own body slowly faded away. She felt her heartbeats become slow and heavy, just like her breath.

Before falling soundly asleep, she heard the familiar hum of a lightsaber.

Author's Note:

I hope you liked this first chapter!
This is my story and a friend is going to traslate it for me, because I'm italian, so this story is a translation from the Italian. :D

Let me know what do you think about it :D

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