AN: Soo this story has been sitting in my notebook for a little bit and haven't found the time to type it…and so I have, cuz it's here. Tehehe, so umm…read and review, pretty please, with ice cream, snickers, skittles, and whipped cream on top. Warnings: M, cuz of slash *duuhhh*, suicidal musings, depression, cursing, yelling, etc etc. Have fun and happy reading! ;)
"Don't fight the connection that you have with the one whom you truly love" I thought, well that's what they keep telling me, at least. I try to believe it, try to understand, and live it. It's hard. I yearn for that, or just a little taste, even though I want the whole damn pie. I think about my brother and I can see him, like he's right in front of me. His hair is an inky black and his warm beautiful brown eyes… even his muffin-top, I lloooveee his muffin-top! He doesn't need to have a 6-pack like Randy or John or anybody else on the roster. He's warm and that's what I love about him. I love him. Like really REAALLYY love him, more than just my big brother. I know its wrong, that's why I haven't told him after all these years. I've loved him since I was 14. Sometimes I see a glimmer in his eyes and it makes me hope against hope that he feels the same way. I guess I will be alone in life…the only things to comfort me are my chunky monkey (yummy!), my writing, and my DVD's of us wrestling…and Jersey Shore( its epic, love you Pauley D!). I've had too many failed relationships and I refuse to be lied to and cheated on again. It's a waste of my time when I could be getting hugs from my Matty. Yeah, my Matty, back off bitches! :sigh: I just wish that…"
Matt pulls the truck in the garage and puts his hands in his hands. "What the fuck am I doing?" He whispers. He scrubs his face trying to rub out the feelings he has for his little brother. "Fuck it" he whispers. He grabs the bag with the Chinese food, snickers (for him), skittles (for Jeff), and a bottle of Absolut Vodka and a bottle of bourbon. He looked between the vodka and bourbon he had. Did he want to get pissy drunk or just drunk and functionable? "Functionable drunk," he amended. He took the keys out the ignition and walked inside the house and finds Jeff on the couch with his journal in his lap.
"Hi Jeffy." "Hey M & M" Matt rolled his eyes at his brother. "Whatever Nero." Jeff got up and hugged his brother, breathing in his scent and Matt could feel himself getting hard being surrounded by Jeff's scent. His baby brother always smelled like vanilla [beans], Egyptian musk, and the skittles he's always eating. He put his arms around him and put his head on the top of Jeff's and kissed the top of it and inhaled deeply. He started kissing the side of his head and down to his cheek and stopped before his lips. They stared into each other's eyes for 5 minutes. Unblinking, seeing the connection that they weren't sure if they wanted to hang on for the ride. Matt smoothed the green and blonde hair away from Jeff's face. Jeff leaned up and lightly kissed Matt's lips. "Mmmm…you taste like…honey [peck], chocolate [kiss]…mm, snickers [deeper kiss]. Have you been eating snickers again Matty?" Jeff asked eyes glinting a darker green. "Y-yes." Jeff whispers in his ear, "You taste soo good, I could eat you." He leans up and licks the side of Matt's face. Matt's eyes were starting to glow a bright toffee color. "Jeff," He takes a deep breath, "Here's your food. Um…" He looks around. "Yeah" He practically runs away upstairs and leaves Jeff standing there.
'He has to be coming back down for his food' he thought. He took out the food, shouted for joy for his beloved skittles, next to Matty of course, and his eyebrows went up when he saw the vodka. Then he smirked evilly, almost putting Randy's smirk to shame. His green eyes started to glow, rivaling a black cat. [because I love green eyes and black cats!] He mixed together the vodka, cranberry juice, and a lil Pinot Giorgio. He grabbed everything and knocked on Matt's bedroom door upstairs. There was silence. "Matt…" Jeff called. He heard a muffled "nngh…ffuahh" "Matt!" Jeff called worried. He opened up the door and didn't see Matt. He put the glasses and food on the nightstand/table Matt had by his bed. He walked into the bathroom and saw that Matt against the counter jacking off. Matt didn't notice Jeff standing there, and he kept going, but he just couldn't get off. "Shitt..." He decided to look up then and saw Jeff standing there with his mouth slightly open, to him a scared expression, but in reality Jeff was salivating. "Ohh my…fuck!" Matt shouted and spilled his seed all over the floor, and his knees buckled and he slipped to the floor. "Dammit, Jeff, dammit…" "What's wrong?" Jeff asked as he got some paper towels and contemplated actually tasting it, but knew Matt didn't need that right now, so he just cleaned up the floor. "You." "Me?" "Yes, you." "What did I do?" Jeff gave Matt a "confused as hell" look. "Everything. Just fuckin everything. The way you smile, the way your eyes light up when you see skittles or someone dear to you or even chunky monkey or Arrabella." Jeff giggles. "Everything about you, lil bro. I shouldn't…" Matt scrubs his face with his hands again. "FUCK!" He shouts and started punching the wall.
Jeff just stood there for a few seconds before walking behind Matt and wrapping his arms around his waist and held onto him. Matt stopped, shoulders slumped, arms braced against the wall. Jeff didn't notice Matt was crying until he felt the hot tears splash on his arms. "What's wrong?" He asked again in a soft voice. "Everything." He turned around and crushed Jeff to his chest and slid to the floor with him in his lap. "Jeff, babes, do you know why I never go over Dad's house anymore?" He asked as he rubbed his thumb over Jeff's cheeks that were still tinged with a little pink. "No, why? He would never tell me. All he said was 'Unforgivable bastard. Don't fall for it.'" "Heh, well I never go there, because Dad caught me once jacking off to-" "He can't forgive you for that?" Jeff interrupted. "No babes, that's not it." "Then why, you know what-"
Jeff stands up and starts walking into the room and going to Matt's nightstand where his phone is. "I'm goin' to call him and DEMAND what the hell his prob' is! How the fuck does he get'n 'round call'n MY brother a bastard, the fuck—HEY! I was using that MATTY!" Jeff shouts, pouting. "No pouting," Matt says, "Besides, its best if I tell you. Eat, I'll talk." "No, you have to eat too." "Jeff…" Matt sighs when he sees the pout not even in its full potential, knowing even at a quarter of the way, there was no way he could say no. 'Does he know I wanna suck that lip in my mouth…[shakes head] Stop thinking that way! [mentally slaps himself]' "Fine Jeff, I'll eat, and then I'll talk-" "While I eat skittles?" Matt chuckles. "Yes, you can eat skittles." In a voice that beats out the Superman and Batman, "YESS!" Matt shakes his head and laughs. They sit down and eat the take-out that Matt brought home. "Jeff, did you bring up something to drink?" "Ffehs" Jeff said around the rice, chicken, and egg rolls he was eating. He handed Mtt one of the cups. Matt started drinking it and started relaxing. "Mmm, this is good. Reminds me of you." Jeff looked at Matt and decided that he wanted to be alert for the confession. 'After all, men are at their most truthful when their drunk.' "Matt…stay here, ohkay?" "Mmhmm…" Matt's eyes were glazed over. He grabbed Jeff's hand. "And wher am I goings to go? Ya hurry back now, ya hear?" He smacks Jeff on the ass and then squeezed the cheek. "Mmmm, you always had a nice ass and beautiful hips and legs…" He closes his eyes and his body relaxed even more. "Matt, honey, you can't fall asleep kay?" "hm..yea" Matt lets go of Jeff's hips and rolls over to get in the middle the bed against the headboard and waits for Jeff to come back.
What the hell, Jeff thought. He threw away the containers that their food was in and went to the freezer to grab the ice cream and spoons. He saw the whipped cream. Hmmm…snap out of it, Hardy! Get your mind out the gutter! You can't and shouldn't be doing that! But-but, said another voice. *mentally slaps himself* GAHHH! Now I'm thinking about how it would be for him to slap my ass. Awww fuck it!
Jeff walks back upstairs with his favorite remedy and found Matt watching an old epi of Raw when John Cena, with the help of Cryme Tyme, destroyed JBL's car, with a bourbon in his hand. 'Uh-oh, he's gonna be singing like a canary,' Jeff thought. "Hey hun." Matt looked up. "Hey," he patted the spot next to him. "Come sit with me."
Jeff sat down next to him and took one of his snickers and put in the bowl with the ice cream and handed it to Matt. "Eat." "Thank you…where do I start?" "Ack fa befinn'n" Jeff's mouth was full of skittles and he was trying to talk around it, although not succeeding… Matt just shook his head. "Well, you and Dad had left to go somewhere…I really don't remember where. But I feel asleep and I was dreaming…about you, and when I woke up, I had a lil problem. And so, I started jacking off…and it was like I could hear your voice…like directly in my ear. Y'all must have just gotten back, and I wasn't paying any attention, of course. But I heard you moaning by my door, because of skittles and I just…just lost it. Before I knew it, I was shouting and at the same time I yelled your name and Dad opened the door… He walked over to me, picked me up by my throat, slammed my head against a wall. He said to me "You sick mu'fucker, lusting after your brother like that!' he told you to go to your room and you said that you wanted to see me and I remember he almost went ballistic and lunged for you." Matt's eyes got glassy like he was reliving it, and he took a swig out of his cup and he said bitterly, "I turned him around and clocked him in the face. I pulled my shorts up before you could see and picked him up by his shirt and told him that I would leave, but if he EVER in his life put his hands on you like that again, I won't hesitate to clock his ass again."
Jeff just sat there, unmoving, eyes wide and shifting back and forth thinking. Matt took another swig of liquor and said to Jeff in a sad voice. "Baby b, I completely und-understand if you hate me and want to move and wa-want noth-nothing to do wi-with me." He laughs bitterly. "I truly am a sick fuck for wanting what I can't have. I want my baby brother. I love my baby brother much more than I even should. I love you sweetheart. I love you like I would love my better half. Dammit!" He gets up and starts pacing, amazingly walking in a straight line considering the amount of hard liquor that he had consumed. "Jeff, you have to tell me how you feel. Tell me, tell me that you hate me, are sick, repulsed by me, that I'm a sick bastard for wanting my own flesh and blood-" he walks up to Jeff and holds his chin in his hand and stars into his eyes- "Please Jeff and I will go away forever. Never coming back, you won't ever see me again." He was already thinking of ways to kill himself, and he wanted the most painless death. Jeff somehow knew what he was thinking. "NO MATT! NO! Don't kill yourself, I won't be able to live! Kill yourself and I go with you!" He shouted, crying so hard he couldn't see the joy that radiated from Matt's eyes. "No, no, don't cry babes. Sshhhh…" he wipes Jeff's tears away from his face. "It's gonna be ohkay. Look at me Jeff." Jeff shook his head 'no.' "Jeff-" Matt says in a warning tone. "Look at me." Jeff slowly looked at Matt, never looking directly at his eyes. "Jeff…do you want me to stay? For tonight, I'll leave in the morning." Jeff shook his head 'no'. Matt's heart dropped, he felt like someone took a butter knife and just started carving designs on his heart…and it hurt. Like hell. 'Well damn it all to hell' he thought. Jeff looked at his face and noticed how Matt's eyes seemed to harden and guard up. Like brick layer after layer put up with tanks and machine guns so that nobody could penetrate it. "I—I mean that I don't want you to ever leave, because…because-" he sighs and takes a deep breath. "Because what?" Matt asks in a cautionary voice. "Because, damn M&M, I love you too. I'm head over heels in love with you. I've loved you since I was 14. That's why Dad was always there when we were hugging, because he didn't want me succumbing to the 'spell' that he's so damn sure that you put me under." "Ya-you love m-m-me-me?" Matt says stuttering through all the intense emotions that he feels. Jeff smiles, "Yes babe. You know I do."
Jeff pecked him on the lips. Matt looked at him and licked his lips and pulled Jeff closer to him and wrapped his arms around his neck. Matt softly kissed Jeff's lips and he groaned at he feeling of how soft they were. He moaned when he tasted them. 'Holy Mother of God, they taste like vanilla' he thought. He nibbled on Jeff's bottom lip and Jeff moaned at the feeling of Matt's teeth biting his lips. He opened his mouth to his brother and Matt's tongue slipped in tasting all that Jeff hadto offer and vice versa. Matt leaned Jeff back on the bed. Jeff wrapped his right leg around Matt's waist and put his fingers through Matt's hair. Matt broke the kiss and started kissing the side of Jeff's face. He nipped Jeff's earlobe but when Matt licked it, Jeff giggled. But when Matt sucked on it, Jeff came undone and pulled Matt's hair, moaning. Matt let out a guttural moan at that. They went on making out oblivious to the fact that their dad had come by to see Jeff. He used the spare key and walked into the house. He called out Jeff's name and didn't get an answer. He looked around and noticed that Jeff's journal was still on the couch and it smelled like fresh Chinese food. He climbed up the stairs and opened the door to a room, not knowing that it was Matt's. "Holy shit! What the fuck is this!" Jeff and matt sprang apart at their father's outburst.
Alright folks, there you have. That's just a first installment, there is more and will be more to come, I just have to find the bloody time to type it all out. My notebook is full of their story. So yeah, go ahead, click that little button at the end, and please no flames, don't feel like going on a tanget with that, soo yeah.