Greta the goat

My first fanfic ever! It took me all day to write and is probably still crap despite this. So please review in the hope that someday I may be able to write something better, longer and quicker.

"That's it! " Albus Dumbledore scolded his younger brother. "I forbid you from seeing Greta."

"I'm seventeen. You can't tell me what to do." Aberforth retorted. "And besides, I think I love her!"

"For goodness sake, she's a goat! You're obsessed with a goat!"Albus cried. "And now that I'm head of the family, I don't want to be associated with a goat fetishist! I know what charms you got arrested for!"

"But you do want to be associated with Bathilda Bagshot's prick of a son? The guy's insane! Haven't you heard the rumours-?"

"DO NOT SPEAK ILL OF GELLERT" Albus bellowed. "He is almost as gifted and brilliant as I! But a whole lot yummier- nom nom nom!"

Suddenly, the door swung open to reveal Gellert Grindelwald himself. "Albus!" he chuckled by way of greeting. "I've just had the greatest revelation and I just had to come over and tell you myself!"

"Is it about enslaving the muggle population of the world?" Albus squealed.

"Ummm... no..."

"Ooh ooh! Do you want to open a sherbet lemon factory?"

"No, although that would be awesome! "Replied Grindelwald. "I've just had an epiphany of the heart"

"OMG! I love you too! Let us elope- screw looking after my idiot siblings..."

"No not you." Said Gellert sheepishly.

"Who's the whore then?" Albus grumbled.

"I brought her in to meet you. I hope you don't mind,"

And right on cue, she ambled into the room, staring mutely at the others. "Say hello to my new girlfriend!"Grindelwald beamed.

"But... you never said she was a... a..."

"A goat? Didn't think it mattered. How could you be so bigoted?"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! GRETA! I loved you! You were my only! How could you do this to me?" wailed Aberforth upon identifying the goat who was now chewing the carpet.

"Wait a minute; you went out?" Gellert inquired.

Aberforth was now in hysterics. "Y- yes. We've been seeing each other for about six months now. Albus was just trying to stop me today but I refused! I refused because that's how strong my love is!"

"You cad! How dare you cheat on my brother with my soul mate?" Yelled Albus to Greta. "Avada Kedavra!"

There was a flash of green light and Greta toppled onto the floor. Dead.

Gellert and Aberforth turned to Albus with hatred in their eyes.

"You killer!"Screeched the younger Dumbledore. "How could you destroy such a beautiful, innocent creature?"

"We were to be married!" Exclaimed Grindelwald. "Now I will be forever alone!" He made the forever alone face.

"No you won't" cooed the eldest Dumbledore, in what he hoped was a seductive yet comforting voice. "You've got me!"

Gellert threw him a scornful look in response. "I wouldn't go out with you even if I was into humans in that way."

Albus Dumbledore was crestfallen. But, not being one to dwell on dreams and forget to live, he reverted to plan B. He went into the kitchen and returned with a cup of tea, which he offered to Grindelwald.

"This tea doesn't smell like tea. It smells like..." Grindelwald took a deep breath in. "...newly reborn phoenixes and wet goat and..." He took a gulp. "I love you Al. Let us elope- screw looking after your idiot siblings..."

"Amortenia? This is low, even for you," spat Aberforth sourly at his brother.

"I don't know what you're talking about" grinned Albus, taking Grindelwald's hand as they ran off into the night.