Batman easily landed in his own office at Wayne Enterprises from the elevated secret passage and busied himself in collecting the file he wanted.
The door to his office started to open.
Immediately, Batman jumped into his ensuite. To his horror, he could hear the tapping of high heels coming towards him.
Instinctively, he slammed the door, having nowhere to hide in the open plan bathroom.
"I- is someone there?" asked his secretary, alarmed.
"It's just me, Betty," he said in his jovial Bruce Wayne voice.
"Mr. Wayne! I'm so sorry!" Betty said apologetically. "I didn't know you were there! Er… how long will you be?"
"Um… is there something wrong with the staff facilities?"
Betty laughed. "I meant, how long will you be before you attend the party?"
"Party?"
"Well, yes… the Halloween staff party is tonight! Isn't that why you're here?"
Bruce facepalmed. "I'm only joking, Betty – of course that's why I'm here!"
"Fabulous! I'll let the others know, and we'll see you in a few minutes!"
Bruce heard her footsteps get increasingly distant, and the click of the office door as it shut.
Damnit, where was he going to get a costume at this short notice?
He blinked as he looked in the mirror.
Could he…?
A gasp rose from the crowd as Bruce walked into the events room.
"Wow, you look fabulous, Mr. Wayne!" a female staff member said.
"Darn right, honey," Bruce schmoozed, pointing both index fingers at her playfully and wiggling his head.
Another gave a delighted laugh. "So authentic!"
"Of course, honey," Bruce said, lightly placing a hand on her shoulder. "You know I always go for the best."
He sauntered over to the punch bowl and poured a glass for himself. Then he giggled. "You know, if I'm going to keep with the theme, I really shouldn't be drinking alcohol!"
The employees within earshot laughed.
"I'll have a water, please!" Bruce said theatrically to the bartender. He drank it with a slurp.
"That is one of the scariest things I've seen, Mr. Wayne!" a male employee said to him, chuckling.
He grabbed another refill of water and turned to face the crowd. "I'd like to make a toast – to Batman!"
The crowd quietened down, listening to him.
"I'm still not entirely sure what he does, but he does it well!" Bruce said, sculling the water quickly.
The crowd chuckled despite some concerned looks, and raised their own glasses.
"Are you sure that's water, Mr. Wayne?" a nearby employee asked, laughing.
"I think so! I'm not exactly seeing double yet!" Bruce replied, shrugging.
"OK, then!" the employee replied, and went about his way with a smile.
Just then, an explosion was heard. Bruce looked around, worried, knowing he couldn't actually do anything without it seeming out of the ordinary.
The Joker and his henchmen entered the room with guns. "No need to panic, everyone," the Joker said theatrically. "But if you want to, go ahead! It is Halloween, after all!"
His henchmen had little motorized cars and were grabbing valuables off all the employees.
The Joker froze as he saw Bruce. "Well, what do we have here?" he asked, affronted. Some of his henchmen approached with machine guns, surrounding Batman.
Bruce remained still.
The Joker eyed him up and down, frowning with a serious look in his eye.
Shit.
Finally, the Joker pursed his lips and dashed forward, ripping the cowl off. "It's Bruce Wayne!" he exclaimed, gesturing to the crowd.
Everyone in the crowd stood there awkwardly.
"Batman is Bruce Wayne!" the Joker said again to the crowd, trying to get a reaction out of them.
Some of the employees looked at Bruce sympathetically.
The Joker turned back to Bruce. "Do you have anything to say?" he asked incredulously.
Bruce gulped. "Happy Halloween?" he said, cracking a timid smile.
"Is this a trick or a treat?" the Joker said in a low growl.
Bruce tried to look worried. "I'm not sure what you mean…"
The Joker narrowed his eyes. "Are you Batman?" he asked sharply.
"Of course I'm Batman!" Bruce replied, confused.
"That's not what I meant…" the Joker muttered, pinching the bridge of his nose.
"Huh?" Bruce said, wide-eyed.
The Joker looked defeated, staring angrily at him with his mouth slightly open.
"Boss… we've got the goods!" a henchman said.
The Joker didn't move.
"Boss!"
"Fine!" the Joker snapped. "Let's leave – you know, if I wasn't already insane…" he grumbled as he made his way towards the exit.
Bruce heaved a sigh of relief as the last one disappeared out the door.
"Mr. Wayne, are you OK?" many employees asked as they rushed towards him.
"I'm alright," Bruce said sheepishly, running a hand through his now-exposed hair. "You know, I could use some water…" he said, chuckling.
The others looked relieved.
Bruce splashed his face, then spent the rest of the night giving a statement to the police with his other employees.
Fortunately, Commissioner Gordon wasn't there. He just couldn't deal with someone else attempting to see through him.
The police kept saying that it was a miracle that no one was killed.
Guess it had been a good night, after all.
Back in the Batcave, Bruce typed some search queries.
"Some tea, Sir?" Alfred said, placing a cup on the desk.
"Hey-hey, that would be fabulous!" Bruce replied.
"Sir?"
Bruce blinked – he hadn't meant to use that voice.
"It's been a long night, Alfred," Bruce said, back to his usual subdued tone. "Funny how stupidity can be more useful than competence in some situations."
Alfred raised an eyebrow. "Indeed."