Cold Autumn Part One

By M.H.Hughes

Series: Gundam Wing

Pairing: R+D

Warnings: Shoujo-ai, noir, poetic, AU

Disclaimers: I own supporting characters, but nothing else ^_^

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Falling……

She watched the slow and hypnotic drifting of the leaves surround her. It made her pause on the concrete sidewalk and raise her blue eyes upward. A slight breeze caused strands of her hair to float over her face. For a second, Relena felt weightless…as if the wind could carry her away. And isn't that what she wanted? To hide from her pain? To disappear?

She closed her eyes and felt the warm tears slide down her cheek. I can't stop crying , her tattered mind responded.

A hand gingerly touched her shoulder.

"Hey…uh,..Relena….are you okay? Do you need me to get somebody?" A cautious voice whispered from behind. Relena smiled weakly to the sky and wiped a jacket sleeve across her face.

"I'm fine, Beth…thanks."

Beth stepped in front of Relena and slipped her arm around Relena's waist.

"Let's get inside before we freeze, yeah?" She smiled warmly.

Everyday was a reminder. Everything was a reminder. The clock ticking or the coffee in her cup….the book bag hanging from the chair or the shirt thrown on the floor….Dorothy was not coming back.

Her clothes still littered Relena's closet, jasmine-scented blouses and sweaters, those black leather boots with the silver toe.

Her blue notebook still sat on the kitchenette counter, open ,with notes scribbled down for Romantic Literature 105.

Dorothy is not coming back. Ever.

Relena collapsed on the small couch and buried herself into the pillow. One month…

Just one month has passed since….

It was Thursday. We walked from classes and dumped her stuff at our dorm room. She wanted to go out and get a drink.

"Come on…one drink won't kill your ability to study late…" Dorothy pleaded, planting little kisses on my neck. I giggled and leaned into her waiting arms.

"If I don't pass this trig exam, I just might fail…." Relena murmured. Dorothy snorted.

"You? Fail? Miss 'my-grade-point-average-is-way-above-average' Peacecraft?"

"Flattery will get you nowhere." Relena retorted. Dorothy sighed heavily and pulled away.

"Is that a no?" She asked, grabbing her light jacket. Relena smiled softy.

"I'll be up and waiting for you. And I might even make it up to you…if you catch my drift."

Dorothy licked her lips and raised an eyebrow.

"Really? Why, Miss Relena, how fresh you are this evening!" Dorothy said in mock horror. Relena laughed, reaching out for Dorothy's hands. Once the other girl was in her arms, Relena gave her at taste of what the night held.

Relena let her tongue move into Dorothy's warm mouth and pull Dorothy's lips in between her teeth with a satisfied and playful growl.

"I'll hurry back." Dorothy whispered.

Then she was gone, out the door and into the dark….never to be seen again.

Relena woke up with a start, her eyes darting around the dark and silent room. She sat up fully and tried to collect herself. The red of the alarm clock showed her it was twenty after one in the morning. She rubbed her hands together, feeling cold all of a sudden. Had the radiator gone out again? She touched the metal lightly, jerking back her hand on contact. Burning hot. Relena slowly made her way to the light switch and flipped it up. No lights came on.

"Dammit…this place is falling apart." She cursed. A sudden movement caught her eye. The thin white curtain seemed to ripple from a light wind. No wonder it's cold in here…I left the window open, Relena thought, irritated at her forgetfulness. She went to the small window and shut it. A tiny bit of frost outlined one window pane and she ran her finger across it. A cold autumn means a warm winter.

Her father used to say that. She remember the red and gold leaves that covered her yard, raked into a large pile….awaiting Relena and her brother…..

She quickly shut her eyes, trying to fight back her tears. I have no one to call or to write, no one to confide in…Milliardo joined the military and is in Germany. Mother and I have never been close. Father….

A heart attack.

For days she talked to no one, she wouldn't eat or sleep. Then came the nightmares. Her father drifted in a rowboat and Relena swam after him, never reaching him. Her voice screaming out into her bedroom, calling for him to return.

"I told Dorothy about the dreams. She is the only one who knew….why did she have to leave me as well? I want her back….Dorothy, please, come back to me…." Relena dissolved into tears, her body heaving with anguish as she slumped to the floor.

The curtain billowed again, caressing Relena's face.

"I thought I closed you…" She whispered tiredly. Relena leaned her head against the wall and ran her fingers through her hair. Her eyelids felt heavy with sleep once more and, even though she knew she should go to a more comfortable spot, Relena didn't want to move. But before slumber could claim her, she heard the doorknob turn and the door shut.

Her eyes shot open. Relena listened intently to light footsteps that stopped just short of where she was sitting.

What the hell should I do? Try to make it to the bedroom phone and call the police? She squinted her eyes and searched for anything that could be a weapon. Relena crawled to the far closet and then stood up quietly. The footsteps came closer. Relena felt her heartbeat racing in her chest.

The curtain fluttered quickly this time, letting the moonlight in. And in that brief illumination, she saw her, she saw Dorothy. The girl stood there, staring at Relena and reached out with one hand.

"I came." Dorothy said, the words moving over Relena's body and causing her to shake uncontrollably.

"But…your, your…dead…I…" Relena stuttered. Am I losing my mind?! What is going on?! She saw Dorothy coming closer. Relena wanted to run or cry out but she was paralyzed by fear. Soft fingers grazed her cheek, leaving warmth in their wake….Dorothy's fingers.

"Your dead! I saw you, you died!" Relena screamed out, closing her eyes tightly, willing this nightmare to end.

Instead, she felt cool lips touch her own…a light and tender kiss. And suddenly Relena felt arms encircle her. It felt so safe, so secure. If only it were real…..

"It is. If you want it to be." A voice answered her thoughts, Dorothy's voice. Relena felt the last bits of sanity slip away and swallowed.

"Stay with me…please…" She begged. A long kiss on her forehead was the response.

"Hey…sleepyhead….wake up! Your gonna be late for your second class….I can't bail you out of another one!" A voice whispered and a hand shook her arms.

Relena sat up and blinked. She was in her bed and her head hurt. In fact, it was pounding.

"I need some aspirin."

Beth laughed and went looking in the bathroom. She had known Relena since first semester and they had become friends quickly. The girl seemed to have it all. Good looks, good grades, a rich background yet was never snobby about it….she seemed like perfection to all who met her. But Beth could tell that underneath all of that, there was something kind of melancholy about the girl.

She tossed the bottle onto the mattress and got a glass of water.

"Bottoms up." She grinned. Relena just grimaced as she took the pills.

"You look awful, by the way. Don't tell me you got plastered?" Beth asked. Relena covered her head in her hands.

"I think I'm nuts actually. Maybe I should see a therapist."

"What? Why not just tell me, huh? Your best friend…and I'm cheaper. Not that money is an issue for you or anything. You can pay me if ya want."

Relena looked up at Beth's grin and rolled her eyes. Beth then got serious.

"You can talk to me, I'm not all jokes. I can listen." Beth took Relena's hands into her own and gave them a gentle squeeze.

"Well…I…dreamed about…Dorothy, but……" Relena stopped, watching the blanket with great interest.

"That doesn't seem to require a shrink. She is….I mean, was….Oh, hell, I'm already fucking up." Beth moaned. Relena laughed slightly and assured Beth that is was okay.

"Listen, Dorothy died and you two loved each other….if you didn't think about her, then something would be wrong. It'll take time, lots of time but don't think you are crazy, Relena. Your not."

I can't tell her how vivid the dream was. Or how I don't know how I ended up in my bed. I cannot believe that Dorothy was here because she is dead. And that means that it is I who is insane.

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End of part one