Note to readers: Rating: M (respectively as the anime is of the same nature. Note that M is for 16+)
'What do you see when you're in the dark, and the demons come? ' from In the Line of Fire (1993)
Chapter 1: All the King's horses and all the King's men.
I awoke in a daze. wondering about aimlessly for a day or two. what mattered now was not how I got there but that I got to my destination in at all. The primal, gut-wrenching, need for me to see him once again scorched itself through my existence. I knew that the world in which I was living now is so much different from what I knew. Home was not my home any longer. I accept that it's the only thing I am unable to change.
All that mattered now was to see my beloved. from what I've learned of love, however, is that it is a double-edged sword indeed. I could sense that he was no longer mine to keep and I did not want to overstep that boundary. however still my heart ached for the times we had spent together and I longed oh how I longed for the day I could meet him again.
After all, this was my country. Was being the primary objective now. Now I had not even an inkling of power in me. Now I was nothing. Nothing without him. if I could somehow win him back then I could gain some of my sanity back that I was my goal at hand and nothing was going to stop me from attaining that goal.
Of all places, I would never have thought to end up at a traveling show, a circus. there was a kind of simplicity or rather a homely style that I liked about it. I was nervous. Without a doubt, people would figure out who I was. Maybe somehow that would matter to the outcome of my goal but I'd say just to put that on that back burner, for now, would suffice. I wonder how long he has been here? In this kind of place. the way he used to be you wouldn't catch him dead in a place like this. I wasn't too fond of it either but this was my only chance.
I wonder if he'd recognize me at all? I know that we'd have to rekindle our relationship but nothing would be too hard for us right? We've been through hell and back, literally. Alright, all I have to do is just waltz in there and take it by the scruff. I was nervous and a little jumpy. I walked in like nobodies business. various people looked at me and stared at me. Was it that painfully obvious that I did not belong there?
In the center of the large tent was a man, most likely he was the ring leader. everyone stopped what they were doing and directed their attention towards me and the ring leader. The ring leader looked somewhat startled. but welcomed me anyway.
"Hello there Miss, It seems that you've wandered into the show too soon i'm afraid. The proper show begins tomorrow. see?" he directed me to a flyer.
"Oh no, I'm not confused, Sir. I wanted to audition for your traveling circus." the first step is always the hardest right?
"Oh! Pardon me, why of course the more the merrier! We'll just have to squeeze you into the new recruits today. Let me introduce you to Smile and Black." When I saw his face I knew it was him. various emotions welled up from deep inside me, anger, joy, despair,regret, longing. It all hit me like a ton of bricks enough so that I was speechless for a few moments. I smiled at them and shook their hands.
He hasn't said anything yet. Who is that young boy with him? I understand the boy is his. He always wanted a boy. I'm glad that he can be happy in that way. My audition went well. I performed numerous circus acts that I didn't even know I had in me. I'm best at using aerial silks, baton twirling, and acro dancing. If I put my mind to it, it was simple. The only challenge I face now is confrontation.
I can do this. It's not like anything bad is going to happen. I directed myself to his tent and took a deep breath to waste time. I was undeniably nervous. I twitled my thumbs and played with my hair. His voice spoke up in that very moment, " I know you're out there. Come in, the boy is not with me."
I gulped harshly and looked about me to see if anyone was staring at me. I'm certain that women were not allowed in these parts of the recreation area. I came in and he looked similar to how I remembered him only his hair and attire were different. He opened his mouth to speak but I was the first to interject, "It's been so long, Henry."
"Has it? It seems as if it were only yesterday that I met you. Pardon my harshness but Henry is not my name now. In this traveling circus, it is Black so I do ask you to address me as such. However, when I am in the presence of the boy he may slip up and call me by my formal name Sebastian. Once this troop is over it will be acceptable to use that name as well. Of course only if you get that far in the chess game my dear." He rose from his lounging position and encroached upon my personal space, not that I apposed it.
He touched my neck gingerly as if it would break, running his fingers over the ribbon I had on my neck. He brought his face close to my neck. "What a familiar smell. Sulfur. How typical of a Persephone to have that aroma. You must hide that here. If you wish I'll fetch you some perfume?"
"Wouldn't that break the rules? Besides, I'm perfectly capable of purchasing something as trivial as that on my own." I said to him.
"I've never been one to follow the rules, but as you wish."
"No one's looking. Please just kiss me, Henry. I mean Black."
"Sorry to disappoint you but I believe that agreement between us has been nullified." He said brushing his lips just barely across my eager neck.
"Damned tease."
"For the moment, I have nothing for you. I suggest you get back to your quarters before they check the tents." As I was leaving he spoke again.
"And Anne, Just because I can't love you doesn't mean I still don't," He said it with a sincere smile. I couldn't see his face but I felt that he was smiling at my back. I whispered I know to where only he could hear it as a solitary tear fell to the ground.
Chapter 2 coming soon! :)