Title: Magician's Hat

Author: Pink Spyder

Premise: One shot. Takes place somewhere within the 5th book. Harry's depressed about events, and I don't blame him. Joan must've been on downers when she wrote this book. :O I wrote this for Angel, who hates it when I write stuff like this :) Enjoy!

Warnings: A few spoilers, though not enough to really tell you anything. Oh, and angst…dripping with beautiful, glorious angst ^_^;

Disclaimer: Harry Potter is not mine, but I would've thought if it, if Ms. Rowling hadn't beaten me to it!! *shakes fist, menacingly*

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Harry sat on the window ceil of the empty Griffindor common room. Outside the full moon illuminated the Hogwart's grounds, reaching its every crevice. Hugging his legs unto himself, he sighed softly, rubbing his chilled arm. Thinking back to Double Potions, he clutched his arm bitterly. It just wasn't fair. With everything he'd been through, why did he deserve this? And that was only the top of it all. There was also the situation with Voldemort returning, the Ministry of Magic not believing him, The Daily Prophet turning his reputation to mud, his friends both being made Prefects, and so much more, it just seemed unfair that a 15 year old would have to go through all this. He needed an escape...somehow. 'Just a moment longer,' he thought to himself.

"Harry?" whispered Ron, peeking into the room, just opening the Fat Lady painting. Never looking away from the moon, Harry called to Ron, "Right here." "Oh," replied Ron, walking toward Harry, "We didn't see you at dinner. Hermione thought it'd be best to check on you. You alright, mate?"

Harry darkened. What did Ron expect him to answer? 'Oh, sure, just swell Ron. I wasn't feeling particularly hungry, so I thought sitting alone in the dark was the best thing for me.' He smiled bitterly. "Fine, Ron."

"Ah," Ron surveyed the room a few moments, looking unsure of what to say, "So, what are you doing?"

"Just thinking."

"'Bout anything in particular?"

"Actually, I was just thinking about magicians."

Harry glanced back at Ron, who blinked confusedly, and chuckled to himself, "Muggles have people who do magic too, you know."

Ron's eyes widened, "But if they have magic..."

"Oh, not real magic," interrupted Harry, causing Ron's look of confusion to grow even wilder, "They're like illusionists. They're so quick with their hands, they can fool other Muggles into thinking that they did real magic." Harry stood, looking back at the night sky, "When Dudley turned seven, he had an outdoor birthday party, with a clown, and balloons, and the works. They even hired a magician on Dudley's request, though I reckon Aunt Petunia was none too pleased 'bout it. Of course, I wasn't allowed to watch. The Dursleys locked me in the house, and had me scrub each crevice between the kitchen tiles. Still, I'd never seen a magician before, and all I wanted to do was watch one trick. When Aunt Petunia got distracted by the clown who had thrown a mess of pies into the flower garden, I snuck around the side of the house, and hid under the bushes. I watched the magician do different tricks, seeing the slight of hand behind each, but one stuck out to me the most. He had a snow-white rabbit, which he had pulled out of his hat earlier. He placed the rabbit into a black box, covering the lid. Then, he slowly began sticking long sticks in at each angle. I grimaced every time he did this, inwardly hoping that rabbit hadn't been hurt. Then, he pulled all the sticks out, and opened the box. The rabbit was gone, without a trace. He made it disappear." Harry stopped for a moment, as if he was inwardly mulling over something. He seemed to finally come to a decision, and continued the story, "I sat there, amazed, yet wondering, 'where had the rabbit gone?' I didn't get to see anymore tricks, because Aunt Petunia started back to the house, intent on calling in some kind of animal control on the clown. Later that night, though, I still couldn't get it out of my mind. I replayed the scene over and over in my mind, wondering where he had tricked me. I eventually figured out the trick, but still, it has always been my favorite magician's trick."

"Harry," started Ron, but Harry shook his head. "What do you think, Ron? I mean, it was a lame trick, but it still it fascinates me," said Harry, quietly, "I'm beginning to think, maybe the rabbit had the right idea. I mean, he was faced with certain doom. Why not just make himself disappear?" He reached his hand up to the glass, feeling the cold smoothness beneath his skin, "That's what I want to do. Just make myself disappear."

Ron looked alarmed. "Harry," he started again, "you mean, like, disapparate?" Harry laughed once again, and, for the first time since he entered the room, turned to face Ron completely, his brilliant green eyes boring into Ron. Ron felt himself shiver, as he stared back at Harry, who looked almost ethereal, bathed in the pale moonlight. "Harry?" he asked.

Harry broke the gaze, and returned to his fascination with the window. Unhooking the handle which kept the window closed, he pushed it forward, a cold wind invading the room. Ron stepped forward, but Harry's voice halted him. "I guess it would be like disapparating. But unlike disapparating, I wouldn't come back. I'd just be gone forever," Harry said, in an almost wistful tone.

"Please, Harry," said Ron, urgency apparent in his voice, "Come back from the window, and tell me what's wrong." His voice broke, in its shakiness, "Don't do anything stupid, pal."

Ron's hope rose a second, as Harry turned around to face him. His heart stopped as Harry spoke. "And what's stupider, Ron?" asked Harry, his voice rising only slightly, "Enduring a pain that will probably follow me the rest of my life, or discovering absolute freedom, from everything that hurts me here?"

"No pain lasts forever!" exclaimed Ron, his panic at an all time high. He only wished he had thought to bring Hermione, or anyone else with him to find Harry. He knew these last few months were taking their toll on Harry, but he never expected to find his best friend in this state. "We can all work together to make things better. You, me, and Hermione," he added, hopefully.

Harry chuckled. "I'm afraid I'm beyond hoping, Ron. Beyond caring. I'm just so tired," he whispered, looking down at the floor, "I want to sleep."

"Harry..." Ron choked.

"I think that's what I need to do right now-just sleep a bit," said Harry, taking a step backwards, "See you when we both wake up, Ron." With that, he let himself fall backwards onto the unlocked window.

"Harry!!" Ron screamed, diving toward the window. He missed Harry's leg by a moment, has he found himself half hanging from the window. Looking down at his friend's descending body, he screamed again, "HARRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"


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Oh my god!!! *screams* What will happen? Is Harry doomed? Why the hell didn't Ron stop him in the first place? Obviously, the boy's off balanced...don't let him hang out by a damn window ceil!! Hahaha!! I AM evil! *completely insanely evillicious laugh* Hope you liked it, Ang. :D C&C, R&R welcomed; if you want to tell me what a loser I am, then you've been beaten to it by about a billion people! :D