Your fingers dance over the cold metal blade, daring you to pick it up. You don't want to...But you feel you need to. You feel disgusted with yourself. Everything about you was disgusting... At least...That's what they all told you. Everyday, of every hour, of every minute of every second. They never missed a beat. Making sure you knew how disgusting and worthless you truly are every single fucking day. Your name is Karkat Vantas, and you are truly disgusting.
== Lets start with the beginning, maybe?
You don't know when it all began. Maybe it was when your mother left yous? Or when your father left yous, leaving you to be brought up by your elder brother, Kankri. You didn't know. You didn't want to know. You remember the first day you had brought the metal blade down upon soft flesh though. It hurt but felt so good at the same time. You remembered you had sat and watched the crimson blood run down your arms, hitting the floor for a good 12 minutes before Kankri began banging on the bathroom door, snapping you from your 'trance' and quickly rushing to lock the door, hitting it with enough force to make your brother fall back onto the floor and you to seriously damage your shoulder and ribs. How you forgot to lock the damned door you'll never know. And oh boy do you remember the fucking ra-You mean..Talk..Kankri gave you about being "Rude".
Eventually everyone forgot about it. You went to school, did your work got good grades and made your friends smile. All in all, you were happy. Then...Then you..You saved him. That's what counts. Right? ...Right? You knew he had problems. That much was obvious when you's first talked online. He would...just...change. It didn't worry you, You never even thought much of it. You didn't really like the guy to be honest, even if hadn't met him. Then when you finally did meet him face to face for the first time...You noticed the pain. The sadness, the hurt...The cry for help in his features. Your best friend/moirail's boyfriend, who had become your annoying-never-stops-rapping-or-pissing-you-off-an d-don't-really-like-him-strifing idiot of an online, dare you say it... FRIEND...of a few weeks to the point you met him, had hid so much. He looked upset when you first met him, you first picked up on it and looked to your moirail but he quickly shook his head and said he didn't want to talk about it. You had shrugged it off as something in school but it wasn't, Was it? You had picked up on how his friend continuously asked if he was okay and that he'd always be here if he need to talk. And yet again, you shrugged this off as school problems. The day went by and you's all have a pretty good day...sort of.
You fucking HATED him.
Him and his fucking mirror shades which hid his eyes to his stupidly perfect white hair (just like yours if you might add) to his fuck ton of bracelets plastered up his arm. You hated him. YOU HATE HATE HATE HATED HIM. And you didn't even know why.
Your name is Karkat Vantas and you truly HATE Dave Strider. And you've no idea why.
EDIT: Fixed up some spelling mistakes.