Hi (! This is Angel and Precious, so whoever's reading this *looks out and sees no one. (listens to chirping crickets)* Ooookay, so maybe there aren't that many people reading this. But STILL… anyway. We hope you like our story. It was *supposed* to be funny, but we're not quite sure that it ended up that way. So, enjoy!

Standard disclaimer applies. We don't own Sailor Moon. * "Yeah, unfortunately, otherwise I'd have money. Not to mention Mamoru would be mine." (Precious) "Angel can now continue with standard disclaimer." * Thank you. Like I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted, *glares at Precious* we don't own Sailor Moon, so please don't sue because the most you would get is, *pauses to count the money in her pocket* a couple of pennies, and a piece of used chewing gum in a wrapper, so pleeeaase don't sue.

Please be aware that we know that Yaten's use of 'Mamoru-chan' is inappropriate, but it fits with the story and Angel will be writing a background explanation to it, hopefully sometime in the near future. Also, all things concerning the Starlights were mainly Angel's, though I helped out a bit (I think Angel was high on croissants, and I was pulled into her elated mood). She wrote it 'cause she has the Stars season memorized and I've only seen it once.

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A Twisted First Season Romance

By Precious and Angel

Rating: PG-13

E-mails: princessofplanets@hotmail.com (Precious) and taura12@hotmail.com (Angel)

Japanese Terms/Names:

Aisuru- beloved

Ano- Um

Baka- idiot or fool (Idiot in Precious's case.)

busaho na ahondara – rude jerk

Hai- yes

Iie- no

Itai- ouch

Ja ne- casual bye

Koneko-chan - kitten (in possessive manner)

Kuso- swear word

Minna- everyone

Moshi moshi- telephone greeting

mou nakanai de- don't cry anymore

___ no hentai - ___ (name) you pervert (or ecchi)

O genki desu ka- How are you?

Odango Atama- dumpling head (meatball head)

Okaa-san- mother

Onegai- please

Senshi- warriors, fighters

Tsuki no Senshi- Senshi of the Moon

___-tachi- ____(name) and group.

Urusai – shut up

Usagi- rabbit (Usako means my rabbit/my Usagi)

Youma- monster



Mamoru- Darien/Tuxedo Mask

Usagi- Serena/Sailor Moon

Rei- Raye/Sailor Mars

Minako- Mina/Sailor Venus

Makoto- Lita/Sailor Jupiter

Haruka- Amara/Sailor Uranus

Michiru- Michelle/Sailor Neptune

Setsuna- Trista/Sailor Pluto

Yaten- Sailor Star Healer

Seiya- Sailor Star Fighter

Taiki- Sailor Star Maker



Mamoru sat at the arcade counter, staring into his coffee dreamily.

She groaned under the pressure of his mouth, as he slipped his tongue between her willing lips. He was gently caressing her soft, long hair and back. He pressed her body closer to him, practically bending the shorter girl backwards, as her hands slipped downwards to slowly undo his pants and slip them off.

(Precious shrieks. "AHHHH! Angel you HENTAI! That is DISGUSTING! YUCKY!" "You know, I asked if I could go farther in the story, and you said yes. You brought it upon yourself. Don't complain to me!" "I didn't think this would belong under NC-17 though!" she shoots back, covering her eyes from her overactive imagination. "Besides, I didn't think you had that much experience," Precious added. "Oh yes, a LOT more experience than you, what with my harem at school and all." Angel gets a dreamy expression on her face, as she imagines herself in that position, with ~your pick of the Starlights~ "Of course you do," Precious agrees. "But I'm smart and think boys are YUCKY!" "That's because YOU are immature and undeveloped." "Look who's talking, short one.")

Suddenly, to his surprise, the object of his dreams appeared with another girl. "It's… nice…." the silver haired girl with bright green eyes said in a bored tone. "I guess…"

"Yeah, I love it," her companion, a girl with twin buns on the top of her head chirped, oblivious to the other girl's sarcasm. Mamoru stared.

"Yaten-chan?" he breathed softly. "Yaten-chan!"

The silver haired girl looked around at the sound of her name, and saw the man who was calling her. "Mamoru-chan! Is that really you? I can't believe it! I haven't seen you in forever!" She bounded over to him, and gave him a huge, overly friendly kiss on the lips.

He returned it with pleasure then pulled away to ask, "When did you come back? How long are you staying? I missed you."

Yaten grinned. "The entire summer! AND Daddy said that we might move here if his business deal goes well! Isn't that great?"

"Yes! So, do you think we could get together while you're here?" Mamoru inquired. "I have something VERY important I need to talk to you… Er… well, ASK you… about." Yaten shrugged in agreement.

"Of course! ANYTHING for my beloved Mamoru-chan," she assured him. The blonde had meanwhile dropped her jaw, gaping at the sight before her.

"Mam… Mamoru-baka! He's actually being nice to a human! And Yaten-chan's being actually kind to someTHING other than Luna!" Usagi stared then sat down hard on the floor. "I don't believe it," she muttered under her breath. Glancing around her, she noticed that all the females in the arcade over 7 had grabbed the nearest nail file or fork and had them positioned towards Yaten's general direction. Not that they were aiming for her or anything...

("NOOOOO! You can't hurt my Yaten-chan! Mine!" Angel screams, brandishing a fist at the computer screen. "Uh, you mean MAMORU-SAN's Yaten-chan," Precious corrects evilly. "Now, I like this plot. Back to the story." Angel glares at Precious, then glares at the screen. "I swear, I'm going to get you for this!")

Usagi's jaw dropped further (something almost impossible) when she saw her new friend hug the busaho na ahondara. And the dark haired man HUGGED HER BACK! That in of itself was amazing, but even more disturbing was the tearing Usagi felt in her chest as she watched the couple.

Motoki, a blond man who was Mamoru's best friend, came up to the girl. "Why are you surprised, Usagi-chan? Yaten-chan and Mamoru-kun have a long history together, didn't you know that?"

The fifteen year old shook her head dumbly. Adding in a fake voice, she said, "Yeah, but that's not what's really freaky. I mean, she's hugging him and Yaten-chan's not getting sick! It's a miracle."

Motoki grinned, seeing through the false excuse. "Of course, Usagi-chan. What would you like to eat?"

Usagi stood up from her position on the floor and dusted off her clothes. With an apparent change of mood she announced, "I'll have a chocolate sundae, with whipped cream, and cherries, and sprinkles, and…"

"Your usual, then?" Motoki asked.

"Hai, without the caramel." He laughed, and went to fill her order. Usagi went over to a free booth and stared at her newest friend talk to her crush…RIVAL, neither noticing anything else around them. She sighed. Why haven't I ever said anything to him? I should have known that he'd have a girlfriend. He's certainly hot enough, and all these women are going after him. Heck, even that one guy, what's-his-name, Fiore, was chasing him. Why am I surprised? I guess I should be happy for them. They look happy together. But that should be me! Her thoughts were interrupted by her ice cream being placed in front of her, with a flourish.

"Mi-lady, mou nakanai de," her friend whispered in a soft voice. Usagi looked up at Motoki with blurred eyes.

"I'm fine, Motoki-kun. I'm not crying." Usagi quickly wiped away her unshed tears, and forced a watery smile at him.

"Really? It looked like you were to me. What's wrong? Is it because of Yaten-chan and Mamoru-kun?" She stared at him in surprise.

"How did you… I mean, NO! Why would I care about him? I'm…I'm worried about Yaten-chan! If Mamo…ru-baka hurts her, I'm going to have to kill him!" Motoki raised an eyebrow at her, and sat down next to her, pulling her against his shoulder.

"Ok, if you say so. But if you need to talk to someone, I'm always here for you." He said softly into her hair. She sniffed and nodded into his shirt, burrowing her way deeper into his comforting embrace.

"Motoki-kun," she murmured yearningly to him. He wrapped his arms tighter around her.

HOW COULD HE! Mamoru fumed. And he calls himself my best friend! He knows I like her. How DARE he, after he teased me so much about loving her. Oooh, loving her. She has such warm hands, and sweet lips and…. Ok, don't go there. I'm in a public place, with a short-tempered girl right next to me. It wouldn't do me any good to get all aroused HERE. Anyway, …he's whispering to her! NO! She's mine!

"Mamoru-chan? What's wrong?" Yaten asked worriedly.

Glancing over at her, he forced a smile. "I'm fine. Don't worry."

"So, what did you want to ask me?"

"Huh? Oh yeah. Can we be somewhere more private? Like my apartment?"

Yaten grinned, "Mamoru-chan! Are you trying to make a move on me?" At his horrified expression, she laughed. "Just kidding. Sure, right now?"

"Yeah, let's go."

Usagi winced as she saw Yaten and Mamoru leave, Yaten fitting easily under Mamoru's arm. He leaned down and whispered something to her, causing the silver haired fifteen year old to flush and mock-punch his side.

Mamoru gulped down the pain from the small girl's blow, out of the corner of his eye seeing Usagi watch them quietly with dark, unreadable eyes.

Ja, Usako, he murmured to her in his mind.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Usagi." The voice didn't come close to piercing the darkness that surrounded the girl. "USAGI! ARE YOU PAYING ANY ATTENTION WHATSOEVER?!"

"Hmm?" the blond inquired, still in her dazed state. "Is something wrong, Rei-chan?"

The black haired priestess glared at her, obviously preparing to launch a tirade at her still confused friend, when she was cut off by Minako's voice.

"Urusai, Rei-chan! Can't you see she's hurt?" she hissed. Surprised at the statement coming from the normally ditzy blonde, Rei turned back to Usagi, now noticing to tear stains on her face.

"Usagi? Are you ok? Is something wrong?" Rei asked.

Usagi forced a smile at her concerned friends. "Of course not! Everything's great. Hey, did you know that Yaten-chan has a boyfriend now? Yeah, it's, you're not going to believe this, MAMORU-BAKA! Isn't that disgusting? Why are you all looking at me like that?" Her voice cracked toward the end of her question. The four Inner Senshi looked at their leader with expressions of sympathy.

"Gomen, Usagi-chan," Ami, a girl with chin-length blue hair and aqua blue eyes, commented gently.

"Why would you be sorry? Other than for Yaten-chan, and for me if I have to be near the two for extended periods of time. Oh, duh, that's what you meant," the blond babbled.

"She meant about Mamoru-san being taken, Usagi-chan. Don't tell us that you don't care about him." Minako said. Holding her finger up in the air, she proclaimed, "I am the Senshi of Love, and I can sense true love anywhere! And you two are destined for each other!" The other four in the room sweatdropped.

Usagi looked at her, then said, in as sarcastic a tone as she could manage, "Oh. Yes. Too bad for me."

So far only Makoto, a tall brunette had been quiet. "Usagi-chan, you don't mean that," she told her friend. "Besides," she added slyly, "I've seen you staring after Mamoru-san when he leaves. And not necessarily his back!"

"I do NOOOT!" Usagi wailed. "I do NOT stare after Mamo-chan!" Too late, Usagi realized her mistake.

"WHO THE H*LL IS MAMO-CHAN?!!" an angry voice came from the door.

"Haruka-san! Michiru-san! Uh, I didn't see you there! How nice to see you today! Lovely weather we're having, isn't it? Um…"

"Oh, that's all right. I didn't hear you say 'Mamo-chan'. No, no, no. I heard…Minako-chan say 'Mamo-chan'." Haruka nodded, pleased with herself for discovering the "correct" answer to the problem at hand. Michiru sweatdropped.

"Ano…. Aisuru… Haruka, I think that was Usagi-chan who said that," the sea green haired girl corrected.

"No, no, Michiru. You're wrong. For once," she added, seeing the look in her lover's eyes. "See, koneko-chan does not HAVE a boyfriend. She does not LIKE someone, even remotely related to a guy, does she?!"

"So if I like a girl, you won't bug me about it, Haruka-san?" Usagi asked innocently.

"NO! You are not allowed to like anyone! Understand?" Haruka snapped.

The Inners, on the other hand were staring at their leader. "You like a GIRL, Usagi-chan? That's disgusting…I mean, for Usagi-chan. Not you two! NEVER you two!" Ami said, blushing as everyone's gaze fell on her. "Ah…gomen nasai!" she added meekly.

"AMI-CHAN!" Usagi whispered in shock. "That was mean!"

"Sorry, really!" Ami repeated.

"That doesn't matter right now!" Haruka declared.

Michiru cut her off, with a hand over her partner's mouth. Turning to the still stunned Inners, she said, "O genki desu ka, Usagi-chan-tachi?"

"Fine," four of the girls chorused. Usagi stared worriedly at Haruka.

"I'm fine… I guess," she murmured, relapsing into her dark mood.

"Usa-chan?" Haruka asked anxiously.

("I don't like adverbs," Angel says mindlessly. *Precious glances at Angel with concern.* "I DOON'T!" she protests.)

"Are you okay?" the nineteen year old pressed. "Really, Koneko-chan. Did someone hurt you?" After a moment's thought she exploded, "WHAT JERK DID THIS TO YOU?"

The small blond looked up with dull eyes. "No one did this to me, Haruka- san. I'm just not feeling very well. Luna, can I go home?" Glancing down at the black cat, she saw that her guardian was uncharacteristically sleeping at a Senshi meeting. Prodding the cat with her foot, she repeated her question. At the black guardian's sleepy nod of assent, she stood up and left. The other Senshi stared after her in surprise.

"Ja, minna-chan," she called back.

"Poor Usagi-chan," Minako whispered to herself.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"So, what did you want me to do?" Yaten asked, as they went into Mamoru's apartment. Mamoru closed the door, then turned to face the girl on the couch.

"Well, I need your help on something. See, there's this girl…" He was cut off by Yaten's shriek of triumph.

"I KNEW IT!! I just knew that you were daydreaming about some girl in the arcade today. Ooooh, do you want me to help you propose to her? I mean, it's obvious that it's really serious. Especially if YOU are daydreaming about her in PUBLIC! I can just see it now. You two will have a huge wedding, with tons of guests, and flowers, and it'll be all over the world, because YOU, my dear friend, have finally found a…"

"I have to get her to put up with me for more than 10 minutes first."

("Not really. 10 minutes should be enough time." "AHHH!" Precious shrieks after "Angel" explains her meaning. "HENTAI, HENTAI, HENTAI!")

"Oh," Yaten said, her enthusiasm momentarily deflated. "Ok, who's the lucky girl? Tell me about her."

"Oh, she's beautiful. She has this gorgeous golden hair, and these full lips, and sapphire blue eyes, and she looks beautiful even in her school uniform, which I have to say, is one of the ugliest outfits I've ever seen, and…"

"Ok, ok, I get the picture. Though what could be uglier than your jacket, I can't imagine. Anyway, what's her name?"

("What's wrong with Usagi's uniform? And Mamoru's jacket? Sure, it's not what I'D get, but WHAT does everyone have against it anyway? Tell me if you know." Precious. "Well, nothing's wrong with the uniform, but compared to the Three Lights sense of fashion, Mamoru is a geek. I don't have anything against geeks, I am a geek, but we all know the stereotypes against us." Angel. "Quit Mamoru bashing, Seiya-lover. 'SPECIALLY if you want to keep writing on MY computer. We both know that even though you like Seiya –well, love Seiya- you don't want him with Usagi (how could you have him otherwise) and you like Mamoru.")

"Her name is the most beautiful sound in the world. So sweet, and gentle…"

"Just give me the darned name!" Yaten yelled at him.

"Usako…" he replied dreamily.

" 'Usako?' " Yaten quoted. "As in what? Not… YOU DO NOT LIKE USAGI-CHAN… Do you?" At his slow nod, she started to laugh. "That is too funny! Who would have thought the Ice King would fall for a hyperactive, bubbly girl like Usagi-chan? I have to tell my frie…OOOMPH!" Mamoru's hand clamped over her mouth.

"You are NOT telling ANYONE! Usako doesn't even know yet. Look, please help me go on a date with her? Please? Pretty please with a cherry on top?"

"Give me some caviar, and it's a deal." Mamoru rolled his eyes.

"You are SOOO lucky that you were adopted by a rich family, or you would be on the streets in a week."

"A week? That long? I don't think so!" She grinned, as he sighed and agreed to her conditions.

("And what conditions would those be?" Angel. "Also, please recall that according to Precious, who did not get the previous remark, I have an extremely hentai mind at work. Thank you.")

"So, how are we going to get her to date me?"

"Well, first we have to ask her out. Or, YOU have to ask her out. I think that we should start out with a simple plot. First, we find out where Usagi- chan is at any time."

Mamoru glanced at his watch. "Right now she'll be with her friends at the Hikawa Shrine or the mall."

Yaten sweatdropped. "Ooook…… next step. We arrange to get you two alone together."

"We could go to the mall, and wait for her to run into me. It never fails."

"Wouldn't she get mad at you? Again?"

"True. I could be my most charming self."

"Mamoru-chan, I'M more charming than you. I don't think it would work. Ok, it'll be really simple to get you two together. All we have to do is…" She went on to describe an intricate plot, complete with Walkie-talkies, sneaking around at night, and stalking. She finished with "… or we could just go the traditional way, and give her a secret admirer. Which do you want, Mamoru-chan?" Glancing at her friend, she scowled at his glazed expression. "MAMORU-CHAN!"

"Usako… That feels SOO good…" Yaten jerked away a step before slamming him over the head with her shoe. "Yaten-CHAN! What was that for?"

"That hentai thought about someone I KNOW deserved to be beaten out of your head," she replied simply. "Now. Should we stalk her or be her secret admirers."

"Plural?" he asked warningly. Yaten shrugged.

"You need my help. If you don't have it, say goodbye to any possibilities of those dreams coming true," she said matter-of-factly.

Mamoru blushed. "Uh… What dreams?" She laughed.

"Don't try to play innocent, hentai," the girl told him. "Now come…"

Angry pounding came from the door. Yaten blinked her green eyes at it, surprised. "Were you expecting someone?"

"No," Mamoru answered, just as confused. "They must have the wrong apartment. My buzzer would have gone off if they had been asking for me." He walked over and opened the door, to be greeted by a furious blond man. Haruka stomped into the apartment.

"HOW DARE YOU TRY TO SEDUCE MY KONEKO-CHAN! I'M WARNING YOU, IF YOU COME NEAR HER, I WILL PAINFULLY REARRANGE YOUR PERSONAL ANATOMY!!!"

Mamoru gulped. If he does that then my dreams about Usako will never…who's koneko-chan? "Who's your koneko-chan?"

"Leave. Usagi-chan. ALONE!"

"Why should he? It's not like he's doing anything to her." Yet. Yaten added silently. "Besides, what is she to you? I thought Usagi-chan didn't have a boyfriend."

"Well, maybe she does. And if she does, I'd be it. What does that tell you?"

"Oh. Well, either way, Mamoru-chan's not doing anything to her, so just leave him alone. Understand?" Haruka's glare matched Yaten's in fierceness. Mamoru glanced between them.

"Okay, I won't try to seduce Usa…gi-san," he said carefully under Haruka's gaze. "Yaten-chan, go sit on the couch. I'll get back to you in a minute. Now, is that… agreeable to you…"

"Haruka," the girl supplied. "Yes. Just stay away from koneko-chan, and I'll… live with it. I'd rather wipe you off the face of the earth, but I'll be kind and live with it. Not to mention Michiru would make me sleep on the couch," she muttered to herself.

"Yes, we wouldn't want THAT now, would we?" Yaten asked sarcastically.

"Yaten-chan, didn't I just tell you to shut up?"

"No, you said to sit on the couch. And I am."

Mamoru groaned. "Just be polite to Haruka-san, ok?" She grumbled her assent. Mamoru turned back to Haruka. "Are you done here?" he asked graciously. Haruka nodded before turning away, and Mamoru shut the door behind her, turning back to Yaten.

"So…" he started casually. "I've already started our mission. What do we do now?"

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The Inner Senshi were scouring the mall for presents to cheer Usagi up. "What about this?" Rei suggested, holding up a pink bunny. "An usagi for our Usagi."

"Let's get that too. Don't forget we still have to go to the store to buy ingredients for the cake I'm making," Makoto reminded the girls. Minako stepped back to let Rei out of the aisle.

"Ooomph! Gomen ne!" Minako apologized constantly to the person she bumped into.

"Hey, watch where you're going! It's not that hard, you know! Unless, of course, a dumb blond like you doesn't know how…oh! Minako-chan! Sorry about that. Are you ok?" Yaten asked the girl in front of her, Mamoru glancing over her shoulder.

"Chiba-san, Kou-san," Minako said coolly. "I'm fine, thank you. I see you're doing well."

"Why so formal? I thought we were friends. What's wrong?"

"You betrayed Usagi, that's what's wrong!" Rei exploded. "How could you do that? She was your FIRST friend when you came here."

"What do mean, I betrayed Usagi-chan? I would never betray her. And she was my FOURTH friend here, thank you very much!"

"Oh, of course. We can't forget Chiba-san. But who else is more important to you than Usagi-chan?" Makoto asked icily.

"Who cares? Mamoru-chan was my first friend in Japan. Besides, what do you mean, I betrayed her? What did I do?"

"What IS it, Mina-chan?" Ami said, clearly frustrated that Minako had been tugging her sleeve ever since Yaten's response to her statements.

"They aren't dating," Minako whispered to Ami.

"Of COURSE not!" Mamoru exclaimed. "Why would I go out with HER?"

"WHAT?!! What do you mean by that? It's not like I would ever date YOU! I could get SOOO much better than that! I DO have standards, you know! Who would want to date the Ice King?"

"You shouldn't talk. Your nickname was the Ice Queen at the orphanage. And who is better than me?"

"That blond at your apartment the other day. Now, HE was hot. AND he managed to protect his girlfriend from certain people who want to STEAL her. But he's Usagi-chan's."

"Wait. Hot blond guy. Usagi-chan has boyfriend? Did he have a name? And maybe a twin?" Minako asked eagerly.

"Minako-chan. Who is the one blond 'guy' who would go to Mamoru-san's apartment and threaten to beat him up over Usagi-chan?" Rei asked, rolling her eyes.

"Motoki-kun?"

"Iie. Haruka-san."

"But she has Michiru-san."

"SHE?!! You mean a GIRL threatened to rearrange my… to beat me up?" Mamoru exclaimed.

The four girls nodded in unison as Yaten cracked up. "Mam… Mamoru-chan, aka Mr. Hotshot, almost… got beaten up… by… a GIRL! There goes your male ego…" Yaten managed to tease between gasps of laughter. Mamoru glared at his so- called friend.

"Urusai," he complained under his breath.

"Trust me, you DON'T want to get into a fight with Haruka-san. She's like… like… Sailor Uranus in a bad mood. Haruka-san can be VERY strong in a bad mood, and someone bugging Usa-chan puts her in a VERY, VERY bad mood VERY, VERY quickly," Makoto said. "She's even stronger than ME. And that's almost impossible."

"So modest, aren't we, Mako-chan?" Minako said slyly.

"Urusai. I'm allowed to boost my ego sometimes," she grumbled.

"So, if you two aren't dating, why are you at the mall together?" Ami asked.

"Well, Mamoru-chan here wants Usagi-chan, so I agreed to help him be her secret admirer. Why are you here?"

"REALLY?! Oh, that is so cute! What are you going to get her? When are you going on your first date? Where? When is the wedding? The honeymoon? Though you, Mamoru-san, are probably looking forward to that more than anything else…" Minako said, with an exaggerated wink that seemed to take all the muscles in her face to perform. Mamoru blushed a bright red.

"Why do all of you think I have a hentai mind?"

In unison, the five girls replied, "Because you're a twenty year old guy. No other reason needed." He groaned, as they turned to each other and started to make plans for the wedding, and the names of the children.

"This is going to take forever," he moaned to himself. Listening to the girls planning his expensive dates and wedding ceremony, he added, "Bye, bye, money. I'll miss you."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Usagi walked into her room. After spending two hours at her bench in the park, she felt only slightly better about the Mamoru/Yaten situation, and was hoping for the chance to sleep it off. She didn't even notice the secretive smile on her mother's face when she entered the house, wordlessly trudging up to her room.

She opened the door slowly, wanting only sleep and being halfway there already. The blonde's jaw dropped as she took in the sight of her room. Every conceivable surface was covered in red rose petals, and more than half a dozen vases of the flowers decorated her table and dressers. "Okaa- san!! What happened here? Who did this?"

Her mother came up to the door, smiling. "Don't you like it? A nice young man came here a little while ago, and decorated it for you. He also cleaned it up, which is something you haven't done in a long time."

"Who was it? What did he look like? How old was he?"

"I'm sorry, dear, I'm under an oath of silence." So saying, she turned back and went down the stairs.

"OKAA-SAN!!! You're being mean!" Turning back to her newly decorated room she sat down on the bed and tried to think who would do this.

Umino-kun? No, he has Naru-chan. Uh, Motoki-kun? He knew I needed to cheer up, but would he do this? No, Motoki-kun wouldn't go this far. Maybe he'd give me a bouquet or something but not this. Let's see. Maybe Haruka-san? Okaa-san would think she was a man. But she wouldn't have done red roses. Michiru-san would have killed her. It couldn't be…. What if it was Tuxedo Kamen-sama? Oh! He really loves me! Oh no! Luna is going to kill me! How does he know who I am? Have I ever said anything to him? Well, if it isn't him, it's surely not Mamo-chan…Mamoru-san. He has Yaten-chan now. I wonder what they're doing right now. Probably making out. Hopefully nothing more than that. I mean, I don't want Yaten getting hurt, even if I do like Mam… oru-san.

Usagi started crying, burying her face in the petal-covered pillow. She brushed some of the roses aside, and shoved the pillow into her mouth to keep her sobs from being heard. "Mamo-chan…" she choked longingly into the pillow. "How could you choose Yaten-chan." Eventually, after a lot of crying, Usagi fell asleep.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"How about this one? It's a pretty dress, and she could wear it to that French restaurant you're taking her too!" Ami said, gesturing to the current dress Minako was modeling. Mamoru looked at the price and cringed.

"I think that's a BIT expensi…"

"You know, Mamoru-san, if you really loved her, you wouldn't care about the price as long as your one true love is happy," Rei said, grinning.

"And I don't. I just don't think SHE'D be happy if I got her this and lost my apartment."

"Oh noooo. She'd be VERY happy. She'd even let you move in. Maybe even her room, if you get lucky," Makoto said slyly.

"Isn't she a BIT young to be sleeping with guys?" Mamoru asked warily.

Yaten laughed. "I'm surprised at your self-control, considering the tone of your daydreams."

"Shut. Up."

"Hey! Can I take off the dress now, and change back into normal clothes?" Minako asked from the door of the changing stall. At the nod of assent, she rushed inside. She came out with the dress over her arm. "So are we getting this one?"

"If you all are willing to pay for part of it, sure. If not, no."

The girls looked at each other, then at the price tag.

"Let's try a different store, shall we?" Minako asked. On the way out, they passed a beautiful white dress. Mamoru stopped and stared at the gorgeous outfit. The dress had a low neckline, with gold and pearl embroidery on the bodice. It had a high waistline, and a layered skirt.

("I.e., the Moon princess's dress." Precious.)

Mamoru walked over to the dress in a daze, and picked it up.

"MINAKO-CHAN! Come over here and try this on. Would it look good on Usako?" He saw the wide eyes of four of the girls, but ignored it in favor of the answer.

"I…I'm sure it'd look beautiful on her, but it's really expensive Mamoru- san. It's almost twice as much as the other one. Are you sure you want to get it?" Mamoru nodded. Any price was worth it for his Usako. He made sure the dress would fit her, then paid for it and left the store.

"Ok, so we get Usagi to come to that French restaurant tonight at 7, and you meet her there, ok?" Rei asked Mamoru. He nodded his agreement, and the group split up.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Usagi. USAGI! WAKE UP, YOU BAKA!" Rei screeched to the sleeping girl. She only shifted in her sleep.

"Mamo-chan…" she murmured softly. Rei hit her over the head.

"WAKE UP!"

"Owie!" Usagi pouted as she woke. "Why did you hit me, Rei-chan?"

"CAUSE YOU'RE A LAZY ODANGO ATAMA WHO WON'T MOVE EVEN WHEN A TOTALLY HOT GUY IS WAITING TO SWEEP YOU OFF YOUR FEET!" Rei shrieked, still in a screaming mood.

"Rei-chan, I don't want to go out with one of your friends today, even if it's the only way you can convince your grandfather to let you date," Usagi said dully, barely paying attention to the priestess's insults. Softly she murmured, "I'm just not up to it."

Usagi… Rei thought to herself. You've got it bad, haven't you? Mamoru-san's really crushed you, even if he didn't mean to, with him hanging around Yaten-chan.

"Usagi-chan!" Minako gushed. "WHO did this to your room. It's AWESOME!"

Usagi shrugged. "Okaa-san won't tell me; only that it was some 'nice young man.'"

The four inner senshi exchanged glances. Makoto couldn't help but break into a grin, snickering, "Wait till Haruka-san finds out…"

"Yeah, she'll have a field day!" Rei agreed. "Usagi, you have to go on this date tonight. Pretty please?" the priestess begged, making her eyes especially wide in a puppy dog look. "With sugar on top? Will you go? Onegai?"

Usagi glanced at the raven-haired girl and sighed. "Fine. Hai. If it will make you happy, Rei-chan."

"GREAT! Yuuchiru-kun is taking me to a REALLY fancy place tonight, I didn't want to miss out," the girl cheered. Usagi managed a weak smile before Minako dragged the poor girl off her bed and to her vanity. The hyperactive blond positioned the more sedated one in the chair, facing her new beautician, who was armed almost dangerously with lipstick and eyeliner.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"HAHAHAHA!" Minako laughed maniacally. "Look, you poor lucky mortals upon Aphrodite's greatest achievement yet! The new – "

Rei hit the crazy blond over her head. "Just show us Usagi, 'Aphrodite'!" She added as a lie, "I want to go soon!"

"Don't worry, Rei-chan," Usagi said from behind her. The raven-haired priestess turned and gasped, along with the other three girls that had been lazing around the room. They all jumped to their feet before kneeling before their princess.

The blond had been transformed from a simply cute schoolgirl to a stunning beauty, complete with full red lips, lightly rouged cheeks, and shaded eyes. The front two locks of her hair had been pulled back with a jeweled pin, and was lightly curled at the bottom. She looked almost exactly like the princess that she had been over 1000 years ago.

"Usagi-chan…"

"I TOLD YOU!! My greatest achievement to date!" Minako cried happily, showing off her work of art. Usagi slowly twirled around, showing off the full effect of the dress and makeup.

"I… don't really think I'm going to go through with this, ya' know? I don't feel up to a fancy date out with some guy I don't know…"

"Oh, don't worry, you know…OOMPF!" Minako was abruptly cut off when Ami's hand clamped over her mouth.

Usagi gave her a strange look, then said slowly, "Ami-chan, are you on something? I think you're taking a little too much. You've been acting a bit strange lately."

Ami blushed, and stammered a reply. "I… I'm not on… Gomen nasai, Usagi- chan."

Usagi shrugged, ruining her image of a serene princess. "Whatever. What was Minako-chan going to say?"

"N… Nothing, Usagi!" Rei said quickly. "Nothing at all! Why would you think something like that?"

"Ano…" Usagi was interrupted by the doorbell. "I'll get it!"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Mamoru stared into the mirror, jerking on his too-tight tie. "Darned things, either strangling you or WAY to loose."

Outside of his room, he could hear his (ex) best friend, banging on the door with all of her strength. "Mamoru-kun, if you don't let me in this instant, I swear I'm going to break down your door! And they say girls take a long time getting ready for dates. You've already been in there for two hours! LET ME IN!!!!" He ignored the sounds from behind the door, and continued to try to adjust the tie. Just then, the door opened. Yaten grinned. "I found the key." Mamoru groaned. Walking over to him, she jerked on the tie, loosening it, and then stepped back and studied him. "Ok, WHAT did you spend all that time in here ON?!!"

He blinked. "My tuxedo, and my tie. The tie took about ½ an hour to an hour. And it's still choking me." She groaned.

"Why didn't you ask for any help?" Leaving him no time to reply, she finished, "Oh, yeah. Your male ego."

"Wait, who said anything about –" Yaten grabbed his tie and yanked him forward.

"ITAI!" they screamed simultaneously as their foreheads smashed together.

"Serves you right for trying to kill me," Mamoru muttered to her, rubbing his abused forehead. Yaten scowled at him.

"It's YOUR fault that you can't tie a tie. WHY is it only WOMEN who can tie ties?" Yaten snapped. "Now SHUT UP! Let a girl work!" She pushed him down onto the bed, and started to work on his appearance.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Usagi opened the door, revealing a tall blond and her girlfriend. "Haruka- san, Michiru-san! Hi! How are you? Please save me!"

"Nani?" Haruka asked. "Why? And WHAT do you think you're wearing?"

"Hello, Usagi-chan. We'd be happy to help you. Haruka, be quiet. Girls do wear dresses, you know."

"But I don't wear dresses!"

"Haruka, dear, first of all, you're not what anyone would consider a normal girl. And I love you for it, don't worry. Second, you DID wear a dress. Remember our anniversary? And you wore that dress? Of course, that was before I took it off, but…"

"Michiru-san! Too much information!!! I'm a little too young to be hearing that kind of stuff!"

"Of course, if it was you and Mamoru-san, you wouldn't mind at all, now would you?"

"WHAT?!!! What do you mean, Mamoru-san?! What have you two done together?" Haruka exploded

"Michiru-san!" she whispered in shock, scurrying to hide behind the older woman. "How could you SAY that?!" She muttered to herself, "Besides, I never got the chance." To Michiru she added, "Now Haruka-san's going to kill Mamo-chan when… Oops."

The house shook on its foundation. "MAMO-CHAN?!! There had better not be a 'Mamo-chan', Usagi-chan!" Haruka snarled, preparing herself to go to Mamoru's apartment, (again), and beating the crap out of him.

"Haruka-san! Usagi and I were just leaving! Ja ne!" Rei called as she dragged Usagi out the door, shoving past the couple.

"YOU HAD BETTER NOT BE GOING TO SEE MAMORU-SAN!" Haruka yelled after them. Rei gulped and ran faster.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Rei-chan? How come you're not dressed up? I thought we were going on a double date." Usagi was puzzled at her friend's lack of formal attire.

Rei gave a nervous smile. "Well, you see we ARE going on a double date. It's just in two different places…Heh heh. Well, you're going to be late, you should go inside. Your date's at the table in the back left corner. Have fun!" Taking advantage of Usagi's shocked silence she backed away and ran. Usagi glared at her 'friend's' retreating back, then turned and walked inside the restaurant. Immediately, the beauty of the restaurant itself and its patrons overwhelmed her. Looking around in a daze, she found the table in the back left corner. Heading for it, she froze as she recognized the man who was sitting there. Mamo-chan?! But…he must be waiting for Yaten- chan! Rei-chan must have given me the wrong table. But…what if they knew that Mamo-chan and Yaten-chan would be there? How could they do this to me? She felt tears in her eyes, and turned, hoping that he wouldn't see her. As soon as she got outside the restaurant, she ran for the nearest payphone to call a friend that she KNEW would support her in her predicament.

"Moshi moshi?" a female voice answered.

"Seiya-chan?"

"Yes, who is this?"

"This is Usagi. Am I interrupting something?"

"No, I was just practicing. What's wrong? You sound like you're going to cry." At those words, Usagi burst into tears. "Usagi-chan? Where are you? Do you want me to pick you up?" She managed to choke out her location, and the woman on the other end hung up. Ten minutes later, a blue car came up to her. Stopping next to her, the door opened.

Seiya poked her head out, and called, "Get in. Usagi-chan, what are you thinking, standing out here alone? You could get hurt!"

Usagi just nodded, too caught up in her depression to say anything. Climbing into the passenger side, she curled up in her seat. Seiya pulled away from the curb, and started driving the girl back home.

"What happened? Why are you dressed up like that? Usagi-chan?" she inquired.

"I… was supposed to be on a double date with Rei-chan. I told you about Rei- chan, right?" Usagi asked. The slightly older girl nodded and Usagi continued. "Well, I had to get all dressed up for it, right? It was supposed to be at this fancy restaurant, but Rei-chan didn't get dressed up and I asked her about it when we got to the restaurant. She said that the dates were separate and then she told me where my date would be and she left."

"That's not nice," the other raven-haired girl commented. Usagi nodded her agreement.

"But that's not even all. When I went in, Mamoru-san sat in the place where I was supposed to meet my date!" Usagi's voice broke as she finished her sentence.

"Mamoru-san… as in Mamoru-baka? Chiba Mamoru, I think his name was? The one who teased you mercilessly?" Seiya double-checked.

"Hai," Usagi murmured slightly. "But what's really bad is I don't hate him anymore. I'm not quite sure when it happed, but Yaten-chan and I were going to the arcade and they hugged, and it was SOO strange. But Seiya-chan, I think I was jealous of her," Usagi confided. "I mean, they're going out, and I was actually…"

"Am actually," Seiya corrected.

"Am actually… jealous of her. I… I think I love him," the blond admitted softly.

"Awww, so touching," Seiya added in a teasing tone. "How do you know he wasn't your date?"

Usagi jerked a glance over at her friend, who kept her eyes on the road. "NANI?! Mamo-chan is dating Yaten-chan; he wouldn't, he HAD BETTER NOT, have been there for me. Yaten-chan would be heartbroken."

"But really, how does he act around you? I'm really good with getting into male psyche," Seiya commented. "You know, I've seen you two around sometimes, at that one arcade you always go to. He likes you."

"Yeah right. Besides, I told you, he's dating Yaten-chan."

"Look, I'll prove it to you. I bet you 500 yen that if I dress up as a guy, and pose as your boyfriend, he will try to knock me into next week. Not that he'll SUCCEED, but it's the thought that counts."

Usagi raised an eyebrow at her friend, who was laughing. "You're really arrogant, aren't you? Anyway, I could never make a bet that has the SLIGHTEST possibility of you getting hurt." She paused. "Ok. You're on. But what are we going to do about kissing and all that?"

"Look, Usagi-chan. The handholding and all that isn't that big of a deal. And I've actually played the part of guys in some plays. It's really easy, you just stage kiss. You just kiss the corner of the mouth; it looks like the real thing. Don't worry. Besides, we have to go all the way. We can't have a half-baked plan."

("I wish I was Usagi when they 'go all the way'! I love Seiya! …and Yaten! …and Taiki! We can't forget Taiki, now can we?" Angel stares at her pictures, and starts drooling. "What do you mean?" Precious asks innocently. "Seiya-san just meant that they can't only partially act like a couple if they expected it to be realistic. Were you being hentai again?" Angel looks at her. "You don't expect me to answer that, do you?")

"Demo… Mamo-chan wouldn't care. He DOESN'T like me. He hates me, he teases me!"

Seiya shook her head sadly. "Usagi-chan, you know nothing about guys, do you? Not that I have any actual experience with them either, BUT I know them better than you do. Anyway, Usagi-chan, if he's teasing you that much, he likes you. If he hated you he wouldn't care or go out of his way to annoy you. He's just trying to get your attention. He's probably too shy to tell you he likes you."

"Shy? Mamo-chan? Shy?"

"You're repeating yourself," Seiya said helpfully. Usagi glared at her. "When did you come up with 'Mamo-chan' anyway?" she inquired.

Usagi blushed. "Ano… I was having this dream about a prince named Endymion- sama… But that has nothing to do with Mamo-chan! After that dream I had another that Mamo-chan WAS Endymion-sama, and I just called him Mamo-chan. Not to mention Yaten-chan calls Mamo-chan 'Mamoru-chan' and I have to be unique!"

"You would say that, wouldn't you?" Seiya commented dryly. "Demo we're here, Usagi-chan. What time should I pick you up tomorrow? We'll go to the arcade, then Mamoru-san is sure to see us. If he's there, we'll overdo the acting, if not –"

"We'll still have to. Motoki-kun is Mamo-chan's best friend; he'd comment about us to him. But it doesn't matter. He'll be there. You can pick me up at the ungodly hour of… say 11?" she suggested as she left the car.

"Ok. See you then, Odango." Seiya pulled away from the house, laughing.

"Hey! I'm not wearing them today! You can't call me that!" Usagi yelled after her, pointing at her hair.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The next day, precisely at 11:30, Seiya showed up at the Tsukino household.

"Sorry, Usagi-chan. Were you waiting?"

"OF COURSE I was waiting! What did you think…" she trailed off as she tripped over the threshold. Seiya caught her and pulled her up. Brushing herself off, Usagi stood up and walked haughtily to the car. Seiya followed her, laughing.

"Have you had enough yet?" Usagi asked coolly. They were about to enter the arcade, and Seiya was still laughing. "You know, I DO have feelings. And operation: GMJ is now officially in action." Usagi clung to Seiya's arm, looking up at 'him' with 'love' in her eyes.

"Usagi-chan, I think I lost all blood flow to my arm," Seiya hissed. "And WHAT the heck does 'GMJ' mean?!"

"Get Mamo-chan Jealous," Usagi explained. "And call me Usa-chan or something! Ya gotta be intimate!"

Seiya sweatdropped. "Usa-chan, tell me that you don't know what you just said. Then again, you NEVER know what you just said. Oh, wait, shut up. They're here…Yaten?!"

Usagi looked up at her 'boyfriend' in horror. "Don't tell me YOU'RE going to desert me for her TOO!" she wailed under her breath.

Seiya shook her head. "No, Yaten's one of my best friends, but she moved to America a few years ago. She's always complaining about the cold Michigan weather and how it ruins her skin. If you ask me, she's too vain for her own good."

"How does she keep up with a long-distance relationship with Mamo-chan then?" Usagi pouted.

"Wait. THAT'S the Yaten-chan you were talking about?! Then I don't think we have to worry about Yaten and Mamoru-san dating. Yaten just broke up with her girlfriend back home from what she told me. She might not be very nice to people she doesn't know, but she'll never betray someone she cares about."

Usagi sweatdropped. "Ahh. Okay, I… guess that's a good thing. So why'd she kiss Mamo-chan?"

Before Seiya could answer, Motoki came up behind them. "Usagi-chan, would you and your boyfriend like something to eat? Wait, I didn't know you had a boyfriend. When did this happen?"

"BOYFRIEND?! What boyfriend? I mean…of course! I love my boyfriend! Sh…He's the best boyfriend I could ever ask for!" Seeing Mamoru watching her, she threw her arms around Seiya's neck, effectively cutting off her windpipe.

"Usa…let go… of my… neck!" Seiya managed to choke out. Realizing her mistake, she let go of Seiya and grinned sheepishly.

"Gomen nasai," she apologized.

"It's okay, Usa-chan," she assured the other girl. Adding for Motoki and Mamoru's benefit, she said, "Aishiteru, Usa-chan." Mamoru froze, his eyes on Usagi.

"Ano…" Usagi stared at her and backed away slowly. "I think I have to go now, Seiya-chan. Ano… Ja!" She sped out the door at her normal faster-than- light speed.

Seiya groaned and hit her hand against her forehead. She didn't get. She NEVER gets it. I'll have to explain it to the little baka later. Suddenly, a shadow fell over her. Looking up, she saw Mamoru standing in front of her. Grabbing her arm, he dragged her to the back room.

"What do you want, Mamoru-san?" she sighed.

"You scared my Usako," he stated coldly. Seiya rolled her eyes.

"You don't understand. She didn't get it. Do you know how INCREDIBLY naive that girl is?!" Seiya's irritation burnt itself out. "What do you want?" she repeated with a sigh.

"You propositioned Usako. I cannot allow you to live to tell the tale," Mamoru said in an emotionless tone that concealed his fury at this man for DARING to tell HIS Usako that he loved her.

"YEAH, YOU BAKA! You KNOW how I feel about people saying 'I love you' when they don't mean it!" Yaten popped out of nowhere and glared at her friend, backing Seiya into a corner.

"Yaten! I…didn't see you there. I, uh, really have to go. I…have a date. With…Taiki?"

"Nice try. Taiki doesn't like you like that. Sorry. Who would date YOU after dating ME?" Seiya rolled her eyes.

"I know for a fact that you two never dated. You didn't meet her standards. …You're going to kill me aren't you?" All of this was said in a very calm tone, considering the fact that Yaten was holding a nail file. "Um, I didn't mean it? PLEASE DON'T HURT ME!!!" Yaten grabbed Seiya's other arm, and pulled her out of the arcade, leaving Mamoru in the dust. He and Motoki looked at each other.

"This is completely off topic, but Yaten-chan is a lesbian," Mamoru replied to his friend's confused expression. He thought for a moment. "What just happened here?"

Motoki shook his head. "I have no idea. When did you find that out?"

Mamoru groaned and buried his face in his hands. "Don't remind me. She's been giving me details from the past four years! I don't need details!"

"You didn't record it for me? I wanna know! Tell me!" Motoki said eagerly. Mamoru hit him over the head.

"Hentai," he murmured as his best friend hit the ground.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Mamoru walked into his apartment to be greeted by four female faces. "What are you doing here? I told you I didn't want to talk to you after Usako didn't show up," he sighed, deciding it would be rude to kick them out while he contemplated WHO exactly that guy had been who was with Usako.

How DARE he tell her he loves her! he fumed to himself, ignoring the four girls in front of him as he hung up his coat and went into the kitchen for a cup of coffee. He grumbled softly to himself as he made it, making the girls stare at him in concern.

"Ano… Mamoru-san," Rei asked hesitantly. "Are you okay? Should I get Haruka- san to take you to the doctor? I'm sure she would, even though she hates your guts! I can get Usagi and Michiru-san to get her to do it! She always listens to both of them!"

"Iie, but I'm fine," Mamoru assured her tightly. "I just want to kill the guy who said he loved MY Usako!"

"NANI?!" the four inner senshi gasped.

"Again?!" Minako added incredulously. "Wow, first Haruka-san and now this guy. And of course you too," she said quickly when Mamoru glared at her.

"What'd he look like?" Makoto inquired.

"About five four or five five, black hair that's really long but in a ponytail, and blue eyes," Mamoru snarled.

"Wow," Minako commented. "I didn't think long hair was Usagi-chan's type."

Ami sweatdropped. "Ano… Minna-chan? I think that might have been Seiya- chan."

"Nani?" Mamoru asked. "Don't you mean Seiya-kun?"

"Oh! Seiya-chan! Demo… Why would Seiya-chan seem like Usagi-chan's boyfriend? They're just friends," Rei wondered aloud.

"WHAT THE HECK DO YOU MEAN, SEIYA-CHAN?!" Mamoru exploded, tired of being ignored.

"She has been Usagi-chan's friend for a long time. I think they went grade school together, before Usagi-chan moved to the Juuban district," Ami explained.

"That would explain why Usako knows Yaten-chan," Mamoru murmured to himself. "BUT WHY WOULD SHE TELL USAKO THAT SHE LOVED HER?!"

The phone rang loudly, and Mamoru picked it up. "Moshi moshi," he sighed.

"SHUT THE H*LL UP, CHIBA-SAN!" one of his neighbors screamed in his ear. "AMERICA DOESN'T NEED TO KNOW ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE, LET ALONE ME!" Mamoru hung up on him and pulled out the phone cord, thinking of his Usako.

"She… She isn't a lesbian, is she?" Mamoru asked the inners fearfully. "I HAVE to have a chance with her. She CAN'T be lost to me!"

"I don't think so…. Don't worry, Mamoru-san, she's never shown any interest in girls, other than as friends. I'm sure you have a chance if you actually TELL HER YOU LIKE HER!!" Minako yelled, apparently fed up with him. Mamoru winced.

"Gomen. But…what if she doesn't like me back?"

"Mamoru-san, we've told you many times that she's obsessed with you! Just tell her… Hey, wait a second. How come YOU'RE obsessed with her?"

All of a sudden, Motoki burst into the room. "Mamoru-kun, tell me the details. I want to know how lesbians do it!" Suddenly, he realized that there were four other faces in the room. Four FEMALE faces. He gulped. "Just ignore that last statement."

"Anyway… Mamoru-san, how DID you realize you were in love with Usagi-chan?"

Mamoru turned beet red. "Do I have to?" he whined.

"If you don't Mako-chan, Haruka-san AND I will all beat you up." Mamoru didn't seem moved by Rei's statement. "OR I'll tell Haruka-san that you tried to seduce Usagi."

"NO! I'll tell, I'll tell!" Mamoru sighed and steeled himself for their reactions. "Well, it was two months ago, and I was seeing someone. And we were…er…kind of… busy one night…and I, um, sort of screamed Usako's name at a crucial moment."

"You didn't!" Motoki gasped. "You called out 'Usako' during sex with one of your sluts? Whoa…"

Mamoru flushed crimson, matching Rei's, Minako's, Makoto's, and Ami's faces perfectly. "You IDIOT! There are girls here if you didn't notice! Teenage girls who are not supposed to be hearing these things! They're fifteen, for crying out loud!"

"You were younger when you were with your first," Motoki said obliviously. "Besides, I'm sure at least ONE of them has –"

Makoto slugged him hard in the stomach. "EXCUSE ME! I MAY HAVE A CRUSH ON YOU, BUT YOU CANNOT SAY THOSE THINGS ABOUT US!" she yelled at him. Suddenly she flushed an even darker scarlet. "Did I just say that out loud?" she asked meekly.

Ami, Rei, and Minako nodded in unison, while the tall girl tried to hide behind the genius. "Okay, Motoki-kun, you have to leave now," Mamoru said firmly.

"Demo I just got here," he whined.

"LEAVE!" Mamoru ordered as he shoved his best friend out his apartment door. "Ja!"

"Demo…!" was all the protest the girls could hear as Mamoru slammed the door.

"Gomen nasai, ladies, I had to get rid of some trash," the man said formally. Ami nodded, and Makoto slowly built up her courage to poke her head out from behind the blue haired girl.

"Well," Rei commented finally into the silence. "That wasn't exactly what I expected, demo…."

"Well, that's not all of how I realized I loved her. I also was thinking about her all the time and I kept on noticing how smart and witty and beautiful and graceful she is…." Mamoru trailed off, a glazed look in his eyes.

"As long he doesn't go into one of those daydreams Yaten-chan was talking about I'm fine with however he acts. Speaking of Yaten-chan, where is she?"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

("We can have them talking about how to get them together,"-Angel. "Get who together?" –Precious asks, completely clueless. "…Never mind.")

"So basically, everyone's trying to get Mamoru-san and Usagi-chan together, and neither of them have a clue?" Seiya asked, amazed at how oblivious her friend was.

"Well, Mamoru-chan has of much of a clue that any guy could, which is not much." Yaten replied.

"Which is why girls are better!" Seiya declared, holding her beverage up like a beacon. Yaten sweatdropped.

"Eh… heh… Yeah… right. That's it," the silver haired girl replied.

"Okay."

All of a sudden, a huge flash of light flared. In front of the two young women stood a third taller one in a Sailor Senshi uniform. The green haired, garnet-eyed woman was holding a large, key shaped rod.

"Who the H*LL are you?" Seiya yelled in surprise.

"And what kind of SLUT goes traipsing around strangers' living rooms dressed like THAT?!" (Who could that have been but our beloved Yaten?)

Setsuna, the usually calm Sailor Pluto, snapped. "I am SOO sick of this! I just saved an entire universe from going down the drain and do I get any thanks? NOOO! ALL PEOPLE DO IS COMPLAIN ABOUT MY UNIFORM! DO ANY OF THEM STOP TO THINK FOR A SECOND THAT MAYBE I CAN'T CONTROL THAT?! NOOO!"

Seiya and Yaten shrank slightly under the senshi of Time's rage, though they tried not to be obvious about it. Finally, Seiya broke the silence.

"Would you like a Coke?"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Haruka and Michiru lay side-by-side, exhausted from their strenuous workout. Michiru closed her eyes, and curled up against her lover's body, just content to lie still for the moment.

"THEY ARE SO STUPID!" Michiru's eyes flew open at Haruka's voice. Her lover was glaring at the ceiling, apparently talking to herself.

"Love, what are you talking about? Who is so stupid?"

"Oh. Michiru. I didn't realize you were awake. I thought all the exercise we went through earlier would have had you asleep in a few minutes."

"Yes, but you left the bed. How am I supposed to sleep without my Haruka- pillow? And besides, even if I was asleep, you would have woken me up with your ranting anyway." Michiru said wryly. Haruka blushed, almost unnoticeably in the darkened bedroom.

"Sorry about that, darling. They're just so dense about it though."

"Who's dense about what?"

"Mamoru-kun and Usagi-chan. They don't get that the other is in love with them. Not that I approve," she added quickly. "I'M Usagi's protector, not him. And yours too. Love. Darling. Honey. Your Majesty. Divinity. " Michiru's eyes softened at the last.

"Ok. I forgive you. But, you know, I'm her protector too, and I'm not getting jealous about Mamoru-san."

"He's trying to take my place, the arrogant little suck-up!" Haruka snarled, reminded of the reason she had been still awake in the first place.

"Haruka, please shut up. And don't tell me that's what you were thinking about earlier." Haruka's eyes widened in fear.

"Of course not, Michiru! I wouldn't do that!" Michiru raised an eyebrow at her, then shrugged and dropped the subject. She wrapped her arms around her lover's waist, and laid her head on her shoulder, closing her eyes. Haruka blinked, then settled into a more comfortable position for the both of them. All of a sudden, she remembered something.

"'Haruka-pillow'?"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Usagi transformed in a dark alley. "Moon prism power, MAKE-UP!"

Her summer clothes disappeared, to be quickly replaced by ribbons of magic that changed her in to the senshi of the Moon. Sailor Moon quickly leapt up onto the rooftop, jumping from building to building to reach Mamoru's apartment.

The idea had come to her in a rare flash of brilliance, only to make her catch her breath and hope he gave the right answer. She was going to ask him whom he loved. The blonde, upon arriving at the man's apartment, discovered her friends in crime {or superheroism, whichever you choose} crowded around him and blushing a bright red. Makoto was hiding behind Ami, much to Usagi's curiosity. What the…? she started in confusion.

The other girls left abruptly, not speaking to Mamoru as they left. The brief thought of What the heck happened? passed through her mind, but she pushed it away when she saw the man she loved sit on the couch as though he had all the weight of the world on his shoulders.

Mamo-chan, what's wrong? she wondered silently, inwardly wishing that she was brave enough to ask it aloud. Forcing her posture to be straighter, she jumped onto the balcony, sliding the door open with ease.

Startled, Mamoru jumped to his feet, instantly on the alert. When he saw the blonde super-heroine he relaxed slightly. "Why are you here? I don't know you," Mamoru lied easily.

Sailor Moon sweatdropped. "Well doesn't that make me feel great. I'm a superhero for crying out loud, I'M AN ACTION FIGURE!" Realizing what she said, she turned red. "Ano…forget I said that. It doesn't matter. As for why I'm here, I needed to know something. See, a friend of mine has a huge crush on you, and…and she knows that you're going out with a friend of hers, but she wants to know if you love that friend or me…her!" By this time, her face was as red as a strawberry.

Mamoru raised an eyebrow. Did she say 'her'? "If I love the girl I'm dating…wait, I'm not dating anyone right now! What are you talking about?"

"It's Yaten-chan! You're in love with her, aren't you?!" she burst out, not having heard his response.

Mamoru sweatdropped. "No…even if I was, she wouldn't return the feelings, so it doesn't matter."

"BUT SHE CALLS YOU 'MAMORU-CHAN'!!! If that's not a sign of love, I don't know what is!"

"Well, if you tell me your friend's name, I'll tell you if I love her or not," Mamoru coaxed.

"…I can't do that. Sorry. That is confidential information," the girl babbled, twisting her hands in front of her.

"Gomen, I've been rude," Mamoru said, remembering his manners. "Please, have a seat." Usagi's eyes darted around the room wildly.

"Uh, no thanks! I think I'd better be going now…" Sailor Moon opted for a quick escape… of course, what it really is is a strategic retreat… but Mamoru grabbed her wrist before she could reach the door.

"Sailor Moon, who are you?" he asked softly, stepping closer to her.

"Uh… that doesn't matter?" she repeated worriedly. Ohh, he's WAY too close… she moaned in despair in her head. Please don't get closer, please do get closer, please don't get closer… Uh oh, I'm going to do something I'll regret…! she thought as Mamoru took another step closer.

"You've got to be a good friend to worry about her like that, and you're obviously close to Yaten-chan, since that's what you called her," he murmured. Usagi winced at her stupidity. "Yaten-chan doesn't get close to many people, you know," he continued softly. "And I've only seen her with two other people in Tokyo as of yet."

"And those people are?" the blonde managed to choke out. Great! Trapped in a corner, with Mamo-chan in front of me. Just great! she thought sarcastically. And just like me too.

"Seiya-san and Usako… Tsukino Usagi."

The girl's breath caught in her throat. U… Usako? She was trembling even more under his gaze, as well as praying to anyone who would listen that he didn't notice.

"So the question is, Usagi-chan, when were you going to tell me you were Sailor Moon?"

Usagi stared at him, and lost her grasp on her transformation. "You…you knew? And YOU DIDN'T TELL ME?!!!" Her shock turned into anger, and she glared at him with all of her fury evident in her eyes.

"Sorry, but I wasn't sure until just now."

She groaned. "Luna's going to kill me."

"Don't worry. She wouldn't kill you. She's just a cat."

"Why does that NOT reassure me? You haven't seen her when she gets mad. Believe me. Did you…mean it when you said 'Usako'?" She closed her eyes, preparing herself for rejection.

"Of course I did. I wouldn't say that unless I meant it." He gulped, suddenly nervous. "Uh…unless you didn't like the flowers… or me. I wouldn't want to press anything on you, you know." He squirmed slightly at her silence.

Usagi was frozen. He… he likes me. He sent me the flowers! But… "Mamo…ru- san, how…?" She bit her lip, not quite sure she should continue. Shouldn't I just accept that he likes me? No, it can't be that shallow, she decided. "How do you feel about me?"

Mamoru frowned to himself. Wasn't that obvious? But I don't want to scare her… But I can't pretend I don't… "I love you, Usako. And I always will… if you'll let me."

("I'm gonna cry!" Angel exclaims. Precious glances at her worriedly. "Really?" "No! Of course not! I'd cry if my assassin dude didn't get with his boyfriend, but not over this! They don't, they kill each other at the end, according to what I read, but that's ok.")

Usagi stared at him in surprise for a moment then threw herself into his arms. "I love you too, Mamo-chan," she murmured in his ear.

BEEEP, BEEEP, BEEEP! Usagi opened her eyes. "NOOOOOOOOO!" she wailed.

"Usako, please, not in my ear!" Mamoru rebuked her when his ear stopped ringing. "What's wrong? It's not like this is a dream or something!"

Usagi heaved a fake sob. "It's my communicator," she sighed. "I've got to go, love. I'll see you later!" With that, she transformed and jumped off the balcony in the blink of an eye.

Mamoru sighed. "Aisuru, you didn't even wait around long enough to let me tell you I was Tuxedo Kamen!" He pouted. "I didn't get a kiss either! I'm going to smash that communicator when she gets back!"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"MARS BURNING MANDALA!"

"DEEP SUBMERGE!"

"WORLD SHAKING!"

"Dead scream."

"MERCURY SHABON SPRAY!"

"VENUS METEOR SHOWER!"

"JUPITER THUNDER CRASH!"

"MOON TIARA ACTION!" Sailor Moon screamed as she threw the discus at the youma. "Yeah! MOON DUSTED!"

("You know, discus makes me think of Xena!" Angel comments. "AND I'M GOING TO KILL YOU FOR PUTTING IN THAT PHRASE! IT'S EVIL! EVIL I TELL YOU, EVIL!" "Yes, of course," Precious says calmly, continuing to type. "WHY DO YOU ALWAYS GET THE LAST WORD?!! IT'S NOT FAAAAIIIIR!")

"Wonderful, love," a deep voice said in her ear.

"Wha?" Sailor Moon asked, only to be cut off by another's mouth on hers. Haruka-san's going to kill me. WHO THE HECK IS THIS GUY?!

She pulled her mouth away from the stranger's, only to find he was Tuxedo Kamen. "Who the heck do you think you are?! Look, I'm not anyone's love, except Mamo-chan's!"

"Then that 'Mamo-chan' is a really lucky guy," he murmured. "I'd be jealous… if I weren't him."

Usagi sweatdropped. "Nani?"

Suddenly Haruka was in front of Usagi and slamming her fist into her palm with more force than she had attacked the youma with. "WHO THE H*LL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? NO ONE, AND I MEAN NO ONE, TOUCHES KONEKO-CHAN! NO TOUCHY! NOOOOOOO TOUCHY! GET MY DRIFT?!!"

"And this would be Haruka-san, now wouldn't it?" Mamoru mused, almost to himself. "So, you guys were right when you said she's a girl."

"WHAAAAAAAAT?!" Haruka looked ready to kill the masked hero.

"Ano… Ami-chan, do you think you could help here please?"

"I'M not getting between you two!" she exclaimed. The other senshi stared at her in shock, excluding Haruka, who was still glaring death at Mamoru.

Michiru sighed and dragged her lover away from the man by the back of her uniform. "No. More. Façades," Michiru said severely. "Or else you won't see our bedroom for a LONG time." Haruka gulped.

"Sorry," she said meekly.

Mamoru shuddered. "Too much information."

Haruka glared at him. "Oh, like you've never had sex."

The inner senshi gasped in shock. "You guys have sex?!" Minako cried aloud. "I mean, I know Mamoru-san called Usagi-chan's name out during sex, but you two do it too??!!"

Usagi turned an instantaneous tomato red, while Haruka managed to wrench herself from Michiru's grip. "YOU DID WHAT??!! WHAT ARE THEY TALKING ABOUT?"

"Well, at least we know he lusts after her," Michiru state calmly, renewing her grip on her lover, but this time on her hair.

"Ow, ow, I didn't mean it, Michiru! Ow!" Haruka cried, bent over backwards. "Please stop!"

("Funny, that's not usually what you'd think you'd hear her say to Michiru, now would you?" Precious comments. *Sighs* "I'm spending WAAY too much time with Angel and my hentai friends. They're rubbing off on me, horror of horrors.")

The inners tried to disappear as quickly as possible, leaving Usagi and Mamoru as Michiru dragged Haruka home by her hair.

("Can't you just see it? Sailor Neptune dragging Sailor Uranus through the streets of Tokyo by her hair?" ~Angel.)

"Did… you really do that?" Usagi asked hesitantly, still as red as a beet.

Mamoru's blush deepened. "Uh… well… Lovely weather we're having, isn't it?" he asked in a hopeless attempt to distract his lovely girlfriend. Usagi looked up, just as it started to rain.

"Oh yes," she replied, her voice dripping with sarcasm. "Lovely weather. I can't believe you really did that." She glanced at the man before throwing herself into his arms, much to his surprise. "But, I'll forgive you, since I love you," she whispered to him, kissing him firmly. Then she pulled away. "But, you know, I can't kiss you anymore unless you were my boyfriend. It's wrong." She nodded emphatically.

"But…I thought we were!"

"I don't remember anyone asking me out lately. Though there was that one guy at school…" She hid a smile at Mamoru's expression of pure jealousy/hate/anger/confusion.

He sighed, and went down on one knee. "Tsukino Usagi…"

"Don't you think it's a bit too soon for marriage?"

Mamoru sweatdropped. "Well, not really…I mean, of course! Anyway, Tsukino Usagi, will you do me the honor of being my wi…lo…girlfriend?"

Her face lit up the night sky. " Mamo-chan! I thought you'd never ask! I'd love to!!!"

He pulled her body to him, and caught her lips in a passionate kiss.

Breaking apart only because of lack of air, despite being super heroes with extremely large lung capacities, they turned and walked towards Mamoru's apartment in the rain.

Suddenly Usagi remembered something extremely important. "But you know, I should really tell the guy who sent me all those roses. I really don't want to hurt his feeling, after all he did clean my room."

Mamoru sweatdropped. "You don't get it, do you?"

*OWARI*

THE END

Sorry for the terrible ending, but Angel was threatening me to finish the story. She was holding a dead anchovy, even though she hates all fish, to my throat. Who knows what she might have done.

Any comma mistakes are ANGEL'S fault. I think she's cheating on her computer with them. Just like she was cheating on the computer with the fan, the pillow, the assassin, and the TREE! (Gomen. Inside joke. She obtained this obsession for Tokyo Babylon a little while back. *Sigh.* Now it's elves and Legolas.)

Angel- Shut up, Precious! Anyway, I'd like to say thank you for putting up with our story, and our little interludes throughout the story. Please review.