Final Potter
Disclaimer/ I do not own the FF7 characters, or the Harry Potter characters. In fact, I don't even own a Harry Potter book. Heh heh... I've only actually read ¾ of the Philosophers Stone and got bored. You probably wonder why I know so much about Harry Potter. Well, duh. There are films, and I've seen the first 2 films over and over and over and over again!
I have nothing at all against Harry Potter, I have just written this fan fiction for a laugh so don't flame me! Instead, R&R!
o0o
The FF7 gang traipsed along the concrete floor on platform 4, meaning to get a train to Cosmo Canyon. They heard mumbling and whispering.
"I'm so nervous... even though it's my second year at Hogwarts, I can't even find platform 9 and ¾." The ginger haired boy tripped over his feet clumsily and fell flat on his face, his things scattering everywhere. He was with a crowd of what seemed like siblings, scrabbling around shoving his stuff into his bag as fast as they could possibly go.
"Doofus! You are so stupid sometimes, Ron. The platform is this way. And don't let anyone hear us." Blow that for a laugh!
Yuffie frowned. "Hog...warts? Let's follow them and find out what's going on- I saw him drop a spell book. Maybe they have the materia there, materia so powerful it could..." Yuffie was stopped by Cloud covering her mouth. When Yuffie rabbited on about something, she would not stop. They all decided to follow the geek family and see what was going on.
When they caught up- Ron, whom they assumed was his name, was pushing a trolley which the others must have thought was a better idea then him clumsily carrying everything, stumbling everywhere.
"Just through there." An older brother sniggered, pointing to a wall. Ron made sure he got a good run up, and he breathed heavily.
"Here goes nothing." Ron ran up to the wall hanging tightly onto his trolley, but unfortunately crashed right into it, his trolley bent and dented. He fell to the floor and got up, rubbing his crimson face and brushing himself off. It certainly was, 'here goes nothing.' His brother let out shrieks of laughter and took no notice as his mum shouted at him.
Ron examined his stuff. His stomach twisted in a tight knot when he rummaged through his now upturned, crumpled bag and found the box which he kept his rat in which was err... a little bit lifeless.
"Um... excuse me, are you alright?" Tifa asked Ron, concerned.
Tears clung to his eyes. "Yeah... fine thanks." He shoved the box into his bag, daring not to look at the creature any longer.
"We're a little lost. Y'see, we need directions to platform 9 and ¾ and by what we've seen so far you are heading there too, are you not?" Yuffie questioned, trying to look formal but jumped all over Ron's trolley, hyperactively. "I wanna do what you just did!" She yelled. But was cut off by the constant shushing of Ron's bossy mum.
"If anyone hears us... oh, come this way- I assume the doorway must be this one." His mom replied, pointing to the opposite wall. Ron pushed his brother forwards and he, without hesitation, gracefully stood on the end of his trolley and flew straight into the other world.
"Has he crashed yet?" Ron cringed, covering his eyes. "Oh, I guess he made it." He gritted his teeth after remembering what happened to him. Next was Ron's turn. He was a little less nervous but when he took the run up he spun around in his trolley, his arms and legs flying at all angles and he crashed into a far wall. "Ohhh... my aching head." Aeris ran over to see if he was alright.
"Cure!" She shouted and cast a 'cure' spell on Ron. His bruises and cuts from his trolley crashes instantly healed in a wash of green sparkles.
"Magic is not to be used in the Muggle-world." Ron hissed, but he thanked her all the same.
Barret looked totally zonked. "What the 'ell is Muggle? DAMMIT!"
"HAGRID! What are you doing here?" Ron smiled giving Barret a big hug.
"Gerrof me you damn witch!" Barret boomed giving him a sharp push, causing him to land head-over-heels and fly backwards into the world of wands.
"Cure!" Aeris jumped up and ran after him, regardless of what Ron had said, as it had appealed not to them. Everyone else followed.
"Where the 'eck are we? Some sorrta world of weird." Barret stomped over to Ron and grabbed his wand. "What's this, eh?" He wondered giving it a rough slash in the air. A few sparks flicked out, nothing more. "Look at me I'm a fairy!" Barret mocked.
"This is how you do it. Up and flick and up and..." Ron stopped when he had realised he'd just blew a huge hole in the ground. Graceful, eh?
"It looks the same to me, 'cept there's and old-y train that's just coming..." Barret hinted on the 'just coming' bit and Ron blinked and ran for his life. Cid stuck out his foot and Ron flew towards the train window and got stuck half way. The FF7 gang got on, too along with the other Rons and Ron-girl. They saw a friend waving to Ron, and sitting in some sort of compartment. Following, they barged into the compartment and all squashed in, Tifa, Aeris, Sephiroth, Cloud, Barret, Cid, Red, Cait Sith, Vincent, Yuffie and a strange boy with Ron.
"Who are you?" Wondered Red, frowning mainly because of the funny looks he was getting.
"H....B....H....arry P...P...ott...er." The boy spluttered as he was so squashed. "Don't... you... know.... me?" Harry pointed at his scar and they shrugged. "Hello! Glasses? Cellotape? You know who I am!" Tifa smiled.
"You're out of this book." Tifa waved it in his face, accidentally shutting it.
"OW! Wha? Harry... Potter... and... the Philosophers stone? Hey! They made a book about me! Cough... cough..." He glared at Cid.
Cid shrugged. "Gotta have a (bleep)-ing smoke sometime." He grunted. Suddenly, their conversations were interrupted by a boffin skipping along into their compartment.
"Mind if I join you?" She sat down anyway. "Did someone just swear? Swearing is extremely atrocious you know. Instead of resorting to that, we can practice some spells." She sniffed the air. "More like smells! Something smells rawther awful!" Her jokes were bad. "Like rat droppings!" The girl forwarded, squinting her eyes at Ron. Ron blushed.
"I... err forgot to wash my robes, for a... err year." Thinking of another place he could keep his rat instead of in his robe pockets. There was something about Ron that seemed strange, then they noticed... he was still halfway in the window and halfway out! The glasses doofus and the boffin helped pull Ron in through the window, with a fence, a bail of hay and a tree attached to his feet.
"Um... may I just ask why you are wearing those awful shabby clothes? You need the proper robes if you are to attend Hogwarts. Clothesus Robesus!" Hermione cast the spell and the robes appeared on each person. Barret's robes were extra large.
"Um... I think I look a little strange." Red stared down at his clothes.
"Never mind. You also need a broom, but just go to the broom shed at the school and get one. It won't be a brilliant broom, but it would do. Oh yeah, and you need either a rat a cat or an owl." She said, pointing at Harry who was waving his distressed owl in the air as an example.
"We won't bother with those." Cait Sith replied. "I had a pet once, but I squashed it with my big stuffed mog." Hermione rolled her eyes. "Fine no pets. It saves a trip to Diagon Alley."
The scar on Harry's head was disturbing Aeris. "Cure!" She smiled, pointing to Harry's scar and with a few yells from Harry, his scar disappeared, and his eyes healed from needing to wear glasses.
"Doh!" The strange-boy-without-glasses-and-scar cursed. "Now nobody will recognise me. My life, my fame..." Tifa nodded in agreement, looking at the Harry Potter book and watching as the scar on the picture of Harry's forehead faded away, and his glasses disappeared. There was a new title which had appeared on the book, too. 'Some sad boy and his boring journey nobody's interested in.' Harry began to cry and violins began to play. A young boy sauntered past their compartment.
"Hi some stupid boy with no life!" He rolled around laughing.
"I guess I ruined your life, huh? Err... sorry old man..." Aeris sympathetically patted him on the shoulder.
"OLD MAN?" Harry thundered. "Hey! My hair!" He saw himself in the reflection of the window. "It's turning grey!" A button on his shirt popped off and he widened a little. He saw his face again... hair! A big, bushy beard was growing on his face.
"I'M TURNING INTO HAGRID! NOOOOOOOO!" Harry yelled, but it came out as a man's booming voice. Ron looked guilty.
"Err... Hagrid... er... I mean Harry... I tried casting a transformation spell while you weren't looking and err... you appear to be turning into Hagrid instead of your own glasses-scar self!" Harry gave Ron a death-look and resorted back to crying. The boffin...
"My name is HERMIONE!" The swotty girl otherwise known as Hermione interrupted the story. Well, anyway. Hermione got out her wand and tapped Ron on the head. "Let's practice some spells!" She cheerfully suggested. "How about levitation?" Ron shrugged.
"Okay!" He got out his wand, it began shaking. "Stoopid wand. Okay, wingardium leviosa!" Hermione sighed. "No, no, no! You've got it all wrong!" Her 'I say old chap' talk made the others want to puke. "It's wingardium levio-sar not wingardium leviosa!" Suddenley, Sephiroth started levitating and his masamune fell out of his pocket and stuck in the chair. Hermione said another weird spell and Sephiroth fell from the air and... ouch... you can guess!
"Owww..." Sephiroth splutted. "I won't scream... just... SLICE IN HALF YOUR DAMN RAT!" Sephiroth aimed for the rat-box but Vincent and Cid restrained him.
"Why don't you try the spell? Remember, wingardium leviosa!" Hermione said, handing the wand to Barret. Barret yanked it away.
"I'll 'ave some fun with this old thing!" He laughed, poking it up Cloud's nose.
Cloud pushed Barret away. "Get off me you disgusting oaf!" Hermione snatched back her wand. Ron aimed his wand at Barret.
Barret shuddered. "NOOOOO! God knows what you'll do with that thing if you cast a spell on me!" Barret ducked under the table. Ron sniggered.
"Do the levitation spell! Wingardium leviosa!" Ron ordered. Hermione passed Barret her wand.
"Wanchingutun bevero DAMN!" Barret shouted, and a huge river with a muddy dam across it started flowing down the train. Beavers sat on the dam, building.
"Damn spells... bunch of crap..." Barret muttered, kicking Yuffie.
"BARRET!" Yuffie yelped. Along with a lot of shouting from the others, but they had no time to argue. The rickety train sped off it's track and broke down.
sugary-flames: Okay, this is my first fanfiction so don't flame me! Hopefully it's funny, cos my sister was in hysterics!
Disclaimer/ I do not own the FF7 characters, or the Harry Potter characters. In fact, I don't even own a Harry Potter book. Heh heh... I've only actually read ¾ of the Philosophers Stone and got bored. You probably wonder why I know so much about Harry Potter. Well, duh. There are films, and I've seen the first 2 films over and over and over and over again!
I have nothing at all against Harry Potter, I have just written this fan fiction for a laugh so don't flame me! Instead, R&R!
o0o
The FF7 gang traipsed along the concrete floor on platform 4, meaning to get a train to Cosmo Canyon. They heard mumbling and whispering.
"I'm so nervous... even though it's my second year at Hogwarts, I can't even find platform 9 and ¾." The ginger haired boy tripped over his feet clumsily and fell flat on his face, his things scattering everywhere. He was with a crowd of what seemed like siblings, scrabbling around shoving his stuff into his bag as fast as they could possibly go.
"Doofus! You are so stupid sometimes, Ron. The platform is this way. And don't let anyone hear us." Blow that for a laugh!
Yuffie frowned. "Hog...warts? Let's follow them and find out what's going on- I saw him drop a spell book. Maybe they have the materia there, materia so powerful it could..." Yuffie was stopped by Cloud covering her mouth. When Yuffie rabbited on about something, she would not stop. They all decided to follow the geek family and see what was going on.
When they caught up- Ron, whom they assumed was his name, was pushing a trolley which the others must have thought was a better idea then him clumsily carrying everything, stumbling everywhere.
"Just through there." An older brother sniggered, pointing to a wall. Ron made sure he got a good run up, and he breathed heavily.
"Here goes nothing." Ron ran up to the wall hanging tightly onto his trolley, but unfortunately crashed right into it, his trolley bent and dented. He fell to the floor and got up, rubbing his crimson face and brushing himself off. It certainly was, 'here goes nothing.' His brother let out shrieks of laughter and took no notice as his mum shouted at him.
Ron examined his stuff. His stomach twisted in a tight knot when he rummaged through his now upturned, crumpled bag and found the box which he kept his rat in which was err... a little bit lifeless.
"Um... excuse me, are you alright?" Tifa asked Ron, concerned.
Tears clung to his eyes. "Yeah... fine thanks." He shoved the box into his bag, daring not to look at the creature any longer.
"We're a little lost. Y'see, we need directions to platform 9 and ¾ and by what we've seen so far you are heading there too, are you not?" Yuffie questioned, trying to look formal but jumped all over Ron's trolley, hyperactively. "I wanna do what you just did!" She yelled. But was cut off by the constant shushing of Ron's bossy mum.
"If anyone hears us... oh, come this way- I assume the doorway must be this one." His mom replied, pointing to the opposite wall. Ron pushed his brother forwards and he, without hesitation, gracefully stood on the end of his trolley and flew straight into the other world.
"Has he crashed yet?" Ron cringed, covering his eyes. "Oh, I guess he made it." He gritted his teeth after remembering what happened to him. Next was Ron's turn. He was a little less nervous but when he took the run up he spun around in his trolley, his arms and legs flying at all angles and he crashed into a far wall. "Ohhh... my aching head." Aeris ran over to see if he was alright.
"Cure!" She shouted and cast a 'cure' spell on Ron. His bruises and cuts from his trolley crashes instantly healed in a wash of green sparkles.
"Magic is not to be used in the Muggle-world." Ron hissed, but he thanked her all the same.
Barret looked totally zonked. "What the 'ell is Muggle? DAMMIT!"
"HAGRID! What are you doing here?" Ron smiled giving Barret a big hug.
"Gerrof me you damn witch!" Barret boomed giving him a sharp push, causing him to land head-over-heels and fly backwards into the world of wands.
"Cure!" Aeris jumped up and ran after him, regardless of what Ron had said, as it had appealed not to them. Everyone else followed.
"Where the 'eck are we? Some sorrta world of weird." Barret stomped over to Ron and grabbed his wand. "What's this, eh?" He wondered giving it a rough slash in the air. A few sparks flicked out, nothing more. "Look at me I'm a fairy!" Barret mocked.
"This is how you do it. Up and flick and up and..." Ron stopped when he had realised he'd just blew a huge hole in the ground. Graceful, eh?
"It looks the same to me, 'cept there's and old-y train that's just coming..." Barret hinted on the 'just coming' bit and Ron blinked and ran for his life. Cid stuck out his foot and Ron flew towards the train window and got stuck half way. The FF7 gang got on, too along with the other Rons and Ron-girl. They saw a friend waving to Ron, and sitting in some sort of compartment. Following, they barged into the compartment and all squashed in, Tifa, Aeris, Sephiroth, Cloud, Barret, Cid, Red, Cait Sith, Vincent, Yuffie and a strange boy with Ron.
"Who are you?" Wondered Red, frowning mainly because of the funny looks he was getting.
"H....B....H....arry P...P...ott...er." The boy spluttered as he was so squashed. "Don't... you... know.... me?" Harry pointed at his scar and they shrugged. "Hello! Glasses? Cellotape? You know who I am!" Tifa smiled.
"You're out of this book." Tifa waved it in his face, accidentally shutting it.
"OW! Wha? Harry... Potter... and... the Philosophers stone? Hey! They made a book about me! Cough... cough..." He glared at Cid.
Cid shrugged. "Gotta have a (bleep)-ing smoke sometime." He grunted. Suddenly, their conversations were interrupted by a boffin skipping along into their compartment.
"Mind if I join you?" She sat down anyway. "Did someone just swear? Swearing is extremely atrocious you know. Instead of resorting to that, we can practice some spells." She sniffed the air. "More like smells! Something smells rawther awful!" Her jokes were bad. "Like rat droppings!" The girl forwarded, squinting her eyes at Ron. Ron blushed.
"I... err forgot to wash my robes, for a... err year." Thinking of another place he could keep his rat instead of in his robe pockets. There was something about Ron that seemed strange, then they noticed... he was still halfway in the window and halfway out! The glasses doofus and the boffin helped pull Ron in through the window, with a fence, a bail of hay and a tree attached to his feet.
"Um... may I just ask why you are wearing those awful shabby clothes? You need the proper robes if you are to attend Hogwarts. Clothesus Robesus!" Hermione cast the spell and the robes appeared on each person. Barret's robes were extra large.
"Um... I think I look a little strange." Red stared down at his clothes.
"Never mind. You also need a broom, but just go to the broom shed at the school and get one. It won't be a brilliant broom, but it would do. Oh yeah, and you need either a rat a cat or an owl." She said, pointing at Harry who was waving his distressed owl in the air as an example.
"We won't bother with those." Cait Sith replied. "I had a pet once, but I squashed it with my big stuffed mog." Hermione rolled her eyes. "Fine no pets. It saves a trip to Diagon Alley."
The scar on Harry's head was disturbing Aeris. "Cure!" She smiled, pointing to Harry's scar and with a few yells from Harry, his scar disappeared, and his eyes healed from needing to wear glasses.
"Doh!" The strange-boy-without-glasses-and-scar cursed. "Now nobody will recognise me. My life, my fame..." Tifa nodded in agreement, looking at the Harry Potter book and watching as the scar on the picture of Harry's forehead faded away, and his glasses disappeared. There was a new title which had appeared on the book, too. 'Some sad boy and his boring journey nobody's interested in.' Harry began to cry and violins began to play. A young boy sauntered past their compartment.
"Hi some stupid boy with no life!" He rolled around laughing.
"I guess I ruined your life, huh? Err... sorry old man..." Aeris sympathetically patted him on the shoulder.
"OLD MAN?" Harry thundered. "Hey! My hair!" He saw himself in the reflection of the window. "It's turning grey!" A button on his shirt popped off and he widened a little. He saw his face again... hair! A big, bushy beard was growing on his face.
"I'M TURNING INTO HAGRID! NOOOOOOOO!" Harry yelled, but it came out as a man's booming voice. Ron looked guilty.
"Err... Hagrid... er... I mean Harry... I tried casting a transformation spell while you weren't looking and err... you appear to be turning into Hagrid instead of your own glasses-scar self!" Harry gave Ron a death-look and resorted back to crying. The boffin...
"My name is HERMIONE!" The swotty girl otherwise known as Hermione interrupted the story. Well, anyway. Hermione got out her wand and tapped Ron on the head. "Let's practice some spells!" She cheerfully suggested. "How about levitation?" Ron shrugged.
"Okay!" He got out his wand, it began shaking. "Stoopid wand. Okay, wingardium leviosa!" Hermione sighed. "No, no, no! You've got it all wrong!" Her 'I say old chap' talk made the others want to puke. "It's wingardium levio-sar not wingardium leviosa!" Suddenley, Sephiroth started levitating and his masamune fell out of his pocket and stuck in the chair. Hermione said another weird spell and Sephiroth fell from the air and... ouch... you can guess!
"Owww..." Sephiroth splutted. "I won't scream... just... SLICE IN HALF YOUR DAMN RAT!" Sephiroth aimed for the rat-box but Vincent and Cid restrained him.
"Why don't you try the spell? Remember, wingardium leviosa!" Hermione said, handing the wand to Barret. Barret yanked it away.
"I'll 'ave some fun with this old thing!" He laughed, poking it up Cloud's nose.
Cloud pushed Barret away. "Get off me you disgusting oaf!" Hermione snatched back her wand. Ron aimed his wand at Barret.
Barret shuddered. "NOOOOO! God knows what you'll do with that thing if you cast a spell on me!" Barret ducked under the table. Ron sniggered.
"Do the levitation spell! Wingardium leviosa!" Ron ordered. Hermione passed Barret her wand.
"Wanchingutun bevero DAMN!" Barret shouted, and a huge river with a muddy dam across it started flowing down the train. Beavers sat on the dam, building.
"Damn spells... bunch of crap..." Barret muttered, kicking Yuffie.
"BARRET!" Yuffie yelped. Along with a lot of shouting from the others, but they had no time to argue. The rickety train sped off it's track and broke down.
sugary-flames: Okay, this is my first fanfiction so don't flame me! Hopefully it's funny, cos my sister was in hysterics!