~Chapter 1~

Usagi sat in the Crown Arcade booth. This place was her place of memories. At one point, it was her solace. It all changed when Mamoru showed up, suddenly popping into her life one day. She was so tired of all the insults, and she was tired of sitting in a rusty metal chair just to prove to herself that she didn't weigh too much, like he said she did. She was tired of wondering about whether her hair looked better to the majority of people up in buns or down straight. And most of all, she was tired of doubting every aspect of herself.

It got so bad that there were numerous times Usagi had thought about just giving it all up, just letting her problems go with wherever the wind took them. She'd thought too many times about committing suicide. Her fear of death was the only real thing holding her back, otherwise she would already be in a cemetery somewhere, under the ground, laying cold and pale in a casket with a tombstone marking her name and shameful death.

"Ah, Odango!" Mamoru greeted her. He paused when she didn't answer or respond in any way. She didn't so much as twitch. The only thing signaling that she was even alive was her chest moving up and down with each breath. "What's got you so down?"

Usagi's eyes flickered to him, revealed a hostile glint, and returned with a blink to their positions prior to Mamoru's arrival. Funny that he would ask what's got her so down. You'd think any human that knew the two would know immediately what was wrong. But of course, Mamoru could hardly be called human. Humans didn't treat other humans this way! Not unless they were evil, which the girl was starting to think he might be. Couldn't really blame her, she'd been tortured by him for how long now? It was sensible to hate him.

"Oh, I get it. You got another red mark, didn't you?" The question was more like a statement than anything else. He smiled, and it was unclear whether he was being playful or just plain mean. Although to be fair...and honest...she had gotten another red mark on a very important test today. Her mother's wrath was going to be rough; she'd come here to get a milkshake first, that way if she got grounded for life she would've at least had a tasty beverage as a reward for even enduring such a punishment. And probably along with that punishment would be a verbal smack-down.

She hated it when he was right and he didn't even know it. He'd just assumed that she'd done bad in school, and it sucked that he had to be right. But it wasn't entirely her fault. Amy was a prodigy, she excelled even when she didn't study. Rei was a very spiritual girl, which in Usagi's eyes let her have clearer focus. Lita had her own little place to study in, with no real distractions such as siblings running around, or a mom yelling to see if she was done with her work yet, or a father who always wanted to know where her phone was and if the computer was off and wanted to make sure that anything that allowed communication with what could potentially be a boy was either turned off or confiscated. And then Minako...well...Minako was just as academically challenged as Usagi.

But the difference was that none of them had Mamoru to deal with, or her parents, or her younger brother Shingo, or all of those combined with protecting the planet.

Mamoru leaned closer, looking nosily over her shoulder to see her test score. Unfortunately she still had it in her hand and didn't have time to hide it before he saw. His jaw dropped and he snorted, trying his level best to hold back a laugh.

"Go away!" she shouted angrily. "My grades aren't any of your business!"

He shook his head and clicked his tongue. "Odango, that's by far the worst score I've ever seen in my life. And here I didn't even think it was possible to get 2%."

Usagi abruptly stood up as she slid out of the booth, pushing his head off her shoulder. "It could've been worse!"

He stifled another laugh and replied, "I'm sorry, but I don't think it's possible even for you!"

The girl growled in frustration and pushed him aside, moving fluidly past other customers to reach the exit.

At the rate she was moving, it didn't take too long to get back home. Her mother wasn't back from the store yet. She could lie and say that the test had been cancelled. But then Ikuko would want to know the circumstances under which the test had been cancelled.

She went upstairs, threw her belongings down beside her door, and flopped wearily onto her bed. A solid black cat with a crescent moon marking on its forehead jumped up beside her and stretched.

Usagi buried her face in the covers. "Hi, Luna."

Luna sat down and examined her companion and owner. "Was it him again?"

Usagi nodded.

"Was it a fight again?"

Usagi nodded.

"Did you run away again?"

Usagi nodded. "I need a way to get rid of him, Luna. He's distracting me from my schoolwork, he's pressuring me about my grades, and I wager that all the stress he causes isn't good for my health!"

The cat rolled her eyes even though part of her agreed with the blonde. Ever since her first fight with Mamoru, Usagi's grades had been steadily dropping. Now they were even worse than usual, worse than ever actually. And the stress she'd been enduring had recently become evident in her duties as a Senshi. Plus, Usagi had been complaining about not being able to study enough with all the youma roaming about. Well, sarcasm often cheered Usagi up...but what to say? There wasn't much to be said...

"Luna, what would you do if you wanted Artemis long gone?" she asked her cat.

The feline's red eyes looked thoughtful as she hoisted them skyward. "I'm not sure. I don't think I have an enemy quite like yours."

The blonde sighed. That was no help whatsoever... It was her turn to look all thoughtful and deep. Screaming at Mamoru would only make him angry. Ignoring him was impossible and there was still the chance that it might not work. She couldn't give up the arcade just for him; there were too many good games there. Okay, so far she couldn't scream, ignore, or avoid him... What else was left? She couldn't manipulate people's emotions like he could, so there would be no point in trying to embarrass him or make him pity her. Another thing that had to be marked off the list. And wouldn't you like to know, now there wasn't a list! Ugh...Mamoru was one tough opponent. But, no, she couldn't give up until she was sure he wouldn't bug her anymore. Or at least not as much.

A new, brilliant idea formed and grew inside her mind. She'd already been thinking about suicide. She'd wondered time and time again what kind of impact it would have on everyone's lives. What if she committed suicide, but lived? If she could pull it off and plan out just the right timing, it might be enough to remind Mamoru how hurtful his words could be. And another upside would be the girls. Because she had been getting worse at being a Sailor Senshi, they'd all been on her case about negligence, even though she was trying to hard to study and make good grades and fulfill her duties and deal with Mamoru's crap as well as their criticism all at the same time. She deserved a little appreciation every now and then, you would think, but nobody really gave her credit for anything no matter how hard life got for her. And it was getting to a breaking point, slowly but surely. Time to do something about it.

"Luna, I'm going to commit suicide," she said softly, as if the words were a newfound wonder to her.

Thinking she was just being sarcastic in order to emphasize the misery Mamoru was granting her, the black cat chuckled.

Usagi snapped her head toward her cat and scowled. "I wasn't kidding! I've had enough of this!"

"Oh, you can't possibly be serious. You? Suicide? It just doesn't compute," she stated matter-of-factly.

"Fine, keep telling yourself that when I'm dead," the blonde retorted.

She smirked as the feline began to grow nervous about the health of her friend. It was working, her test was working! If the others reacted the same way, highly doubtful at first and unwilling to believe what they considered the unthinkable, then once her "death" came...! Well...she really hadn't gotten that far yet. But she would see soon enough.

She hopped off her bed and walked over to her vanity. For a moment she stood, looking into the mirror and examining her reflection. It reminded her of how trapped she felt, like there was just no hope of escape from all the chaos she had to go through every day. Destruction of the soul and the city...it was routine for her, but she hated feeling like it was something that she should expect. Nothing bad ever came unexpectedly anymore because she always had to keep up a constant guard and a watchful eye, as well as one heck of a long attention span. It wasn't right for an Usagi to have any attention span, let alone a long one. Or at least that's how she saw it.

She opened up the drawer and dug around in it, eventually fishing out what appeared to be a prescription bottle with probably twenty to thirty forest-green gel pills. A long time ago, Luna had given this bottle to her. The pills were no illusion, in a certain sense they really did kill anyone who took them. In case it was ever necessary, these little pills would put a person into a temporary state of suspended animation, which was like being dead but able to revive yourself. Luna had also warned her, however, that there was a thirty percent chance that something could go wrong and the temporary state of suspended animation could turn into a permanent state of real death. It was, scientifically speaking, a huge risk. But it was a risk worth taking.

"Usagi, please don't..." Luna whispered. "You won't even have time to regret what you've done..."

"And that, Luna, is the beauty of it," she replied. "Tomorrow, about half an hour before I go to the arcade, I'm going to take one of these pills. After it takes effect, everyone will think I've committed suicide. Mamoru-baka won't harass me anymore, the girls won't complain about me anymore, and I'll finally get to see what happens once I come back to life. It's the perfect plan!"

The cat jumped down from the bed and leapt effortlessly onto the vanity, intentionally standing in front of her owner. "The only thing you'll accomplish by taking those is scaring everyone half to death! And there's too much of a chance that something will go wrong! And furthermore- Wait...what did you mean by 'finally'?"

The blonde looked over the bottle of pills once more before concealing them in her school uniform. Inside her skirt was a pocket she'd sewn on, a little something to hide her communicator. It was a perfect fit for the bottle.

"Well, I've thought about a real suicide lots of times, but I was always too scared to go through with it. But now it doesn't matter, because these little guys will solve it for me," she explained.