Took me too long to understand that she was the woman of my life.
Two years.
730 days.
17.532 hours and uncountables seconds.
I've never been good in Math. But I've never been good in relationships, too.
I was very good on taking some girl out on a great date. I acted like the guy of her dreams. So I'd find a way to get laid in the first night and would desappear the morning after. Ignoring the existence of my phone, social medias or anything that would facilitate approximation.
That was when she showed up in my life. Completely unannounced. Like a hurricane that should be named after her.
No one warned me about that storm, but okay.
She's the kind of mess you can't deny you love.
So there I was. Two years later. Completely naked in the middle of the University.
People would look at me and take pictures, some with curiosity, others because they probably remembered.
Two years ago I was there. Naked. In that same place.
And if that is what I needed to do to get her back, well... That's it then.
Whatever, I was gifted.
And in a strange way I knew she was going to love it.
Cardiff University, November 2011
It was a too much cold Saturday for the beginning of November in Wales. It was almost 39 degrees and a hailstorm insisted on falling. But I wasn't actually worried.
That day was a very expected day.
Manchester United vs. Liverpool
Barclay's Premier League.
The kind of event that movimented my entire dorm. Ocasionally causing legendary wars and almost making people get expelled.
Last time everyone tried to watch a game together two guys started a fight and flew out the window one floor down to the ramp. They scared an aged lady, that was a teacher, who lost her balance and was found on the other side of the ramp, in which she rolled down.
The two guys almost got expelled.
One of them was obviously me.
I'm a little intense, if I may say, when the thing is Manchester United.
We were all together when Farkle, my childhood friend and, for my disgrace, a Liverpool fan, arrived.
I faced his shirt and groaned.
"I hope I'm not the one chosen to roll down the window with you today." He said as he approached me.
I laughed.
"Don't mind me." I said making him laugh.
"I'm in peace this year. My father found very funny the story about Mrs. Simmons rolling down the ramp. But I don't think he'll think the same if I get expelled."
"At least she landed on the grass and didn't break anything." Farkle added containing his laugh.
"Oh, almost forgot to tell you. I called back up for Liverpool."
"Damn, Farkle, I already told you to not to invite strange people to watch the games! This just ends in shit." I screamed and he laughed.
"Shut up, asshole. She's my cousin. I invited my cousin to watch the game." He said and I laughed.
"What kind of girl accepts to watch a game with twenty guys? Seriously, there's no chick here." I asked curious.
I knew a lot of girls in this campus that enjoyed football and none of them would deal with this.
"I tried to warn her, but Maya is more stubborn than a dog. She's almost worse than you." He said.
"She is adorable then, I can imagine. Because I'm a sweetheart." I said and Farkle rolled his eyes.
We were all together as Billy told us about his successful date with Missy Bradford, a freshman in Political Science. For me she wasn't that much of a thing anymore.
Of course I woudn't say that to him, although him and everyone in this room knew I've slept with her on the week she arrived at Cardiff.
I didn't think she was from another world as he was saying, but who am I to judge? I can't spend a week with the same girl. Maybe I lost my chance to know this Missy he talks so much about.
Or not. Her voice was annoying.
And she was a little dumb for someone who studies Political Science.
I swear I'm gonna stop judging people in their minimum flaws, tough I'm sure this promise will only last until the next beer.
"She told me: Billy, I don't know if this is appropriate for a first date but would you come up with me to..."
And then I saw her.
There, in the middle of Billy's boring speech about Missy.
She entered the apartment wearing a summer dress and I swear her hair was flying.
And that cold weather was replaced by a July breeze in the middle of November.
The twenty guys stopped completely what they were doing just to look at her. Every move of the girl at the door that was fighting with her umbrella, which she furiously threw in the middle of the hallway cursing.
When she came closer Billy coughed and continued.
"So, that was kind of what happened with Missy."
"Bradford?" The girl interrupted and all the guys stared at her.
Billy nodded.
"She's really hot but dumb as a stump." She continued and I widened my eyes.
"She is not dumb, Maya." Billy said a little ofended. "She's just a little... Slow."
Maya, Farkle's cousin, I realised, laughed out loud.
"It's because you are as slow as her." She smiled in a angelic way and I couldn't have laughed louder.
Farkle was right. She probably was worse than me.
And very beautiful.
Why in the hell I had never noticed this girl in this college? If I had noticed, she would have rejected me, for the temper she appears to have. But I would already have found a way to change her mind. One of my specialties, tough I almost don't need to use it.
"You're wearing a dress and it's almost 39 degrees outside. Are you idiot?" Farkle asked childishly and just then I realised Maya was standing right in front of me, but didn't seem to actually see me there.
"I was wearing a coat, asshole. But it got all soaked when a jerk passed with his car almost over me. I bet he was a Manchester fan." She said and I widened my eyes feeling the sudden need of entering the conversation.
There. I found the girl's flaw.
And was a big one.
"For a beatifull girl your taste in football couldn't be worst." I said and she stared at me with her brows up.
"And you are...?
"Lucas Friar, nice to meet you." I smiled and we shaked hands.
"Maya Hart." She smiled sincerely and said
"For a guy who supposedly has slept with the entire Cardiff, you don't have sixty per cent the looks that I imagined you'd have."
Outch.
Great. Now the entire room was laughing. A bunch of motherfuckers. Just 'cause she was hot they decided she was funny.
"Really?" I said without loosing my pose and she laughed.
"And you think I didn't see the way you were looking at me? I know what you were thinking, Lucas Friar." She smiled and sat beside me.
Strike one.
What kind of black magic was that? Was she a mind reader?
The guys were maddened with the conversation.
Everyone joined close to us and I rolled my eyes.
"Alright, little witch with terrible taste in football, answer me then." I gave her my best smirk staring at her close.
"Why haven't I slept with you yet? Wanna fix it now or do you prefer after the game?"
I heard some screams and incentive whistles but Maya didn't seem to be shaken.
"Oh, honey" She looked at me with her angelic face. Her mouth was perfectly draw and I couldn't stop staring at her. Shit.
"Even though I'd hate to let a oportunity like that pass, I have no interest in being a part of someone's estatistics. Thanks for the invitation. Now, could you get me a beer?"
I holded her look, kind of surprised and completely pissed and just swallow my beer.
Before I could even think, four guys showed up with beers for her. She smiled to one of them leaving the others disappointed.
Then she was back to looking at me, all smiley and hitted her beer with mine.
"Cheers, Lucas Friar. Hope you don't cry too much when your shitty team loses today." She said.
And before I open my mouth she left heading towards the other side of the room to say something to Billy.
"That's great, man. You've never told me you had a second degree cousin who was the devil wearing a dress." I said, getting another beer and Farkle laughed.
We've never been actually close. She comes from my mom's family and lived all her life in New York. I think I saw her just four times before meeting her again here in Cardiff." He answered.
"If she lived all her life in New York then why is she a fan of Liverpool?"
"Because it's a family tradition and my family is cool." Farkle laughed.
Forseeing my next question he continued.
"She transfered to Cardiff this semester. She's studying Art and I just discovered it two weeks ago, on Facebook."
I watched her from afar laughing at something one of the guys said. They were almost all around her, practically droolling.
Then the escalations of the teams started.
Ah, screw the new girl.
It was Manchester United vs. Liverpool.
"Evans passes to Van Persie, he kicks with his left and...RIGHT ON THE POST"
"FUCK!" I screamed as half of the guys and threw myself on the couch again.
We were already on half of the second time and the placar was 1x1.
In the middle of all that noise I heard a laugh.
I stared at Maya, who was laughing as she watched the replay of Van Persie's lost goal.
"What are you laughing about?" I asked pissed and she smiled.
"This Van Persie is a joke. How do you lose a goal like that?" She laughed and i felt my blood run faster through my veins.
Oh, if she wasn't a girl.
"At least my team has actual great players like Van Persie and Rooney." I said and she laughed rolling her eyes.
"And...?"
"Who does your team have, for the love of God?" I laughed too loud letting that rage feeling take over me completely. Before she could even make an answer I continued.
"Don't even bother try to make a shitty answer, Hart. This fight is already won."
Then she looked at me and I realised she was equally mad at me. She left her beer on the table and her face got closer to mine with a ironic smirk.
"I don't give a fuck if your team has Rooney or Van Persie. And I wouldn't give a fuck even if it had Messi or Cristiano Ronaldo." She laughed. "You could even have Lady Gaga wearing meat and playing football with high heels and I still wouldn't give a fucking damn about your fucked shitty team." She said with a low but steady voice.
This time I was the one who laughed.
"I stopped listening what you were saying ages ago. Would you shut up and let me watch the fucking game, please?" I said angry but she was screaming at a kick I lost while I was talking to her and wasn't paying attention anymore.
Seriously, that girl was the devil.
"Decisive game and 1x1 on prolongation! Manchester United and Liverpool's fans hearts are about to explode. Well, my dear viewers, it seems to me that we're going to the penalties shotout."
I've never suffer so much in a game.
Farkle dragged me to the kitchen and tried to calm me with a cold beer but nothing worked. What made me angrier wasn't that Manchester was tied with a shitty little team like Liverpool. Was that girl that wouldn't stop bothering me. Every lost goal was a joke - not directed to me, of course, because she wasn't crazy - but I knew who they were meant to.
She was worse than a guy, with the disadvantage that I couldn't punch her.
Farkle had just left the kitchen to answer to his girlfriend call when she entered.
I rolled my eyes and she kept wrapping some ice cubes in a cloth. I observed the scene quiet, what made me spend every drop of my self control, then she decided to speak
"James punched that history student. He missed the punch and almost broke his hand on the door." She said.
And when I didn't say anything she just shook her head not saying anything.
I held her arm when she was about to leave and with the speed of the gesture our bodies almost touched.
"Ready to lose?" I said smirking maliciously and she made a upset face.
"That talk is getting annoying." She said in that same tone of disdain and I laughed.
"Are you afraid now, Shortstack?" I said still holding her arm and she pushed me laughing.
"You wouldn't be so idiot to hurt a woman, Friar, so really..." She shrugged without finishing the sentence and was almost leaving the kitchen when I answered her.
"What about a bet?" I said loud and she quickly turned with a amused smile.
"How much?" She asked and I got closer to her again with my malicious smirk.
"How about a piece of clothing for each goal?" I questioned and noticed that the girl got surprised but didn't want to show it.
After two seconds she laughed.
"All that just to see me naked, Friar?" She was still laughing.
"So you're assuming you're going to lose?" I asked challenging and she laughed again.
"Oh, you'd like that, wouldn't you?" Maya answered smiling. "Do you have a TV in your room?" She asked and this time I was the one surprised.
I smiled
"Room 76. Meet me up there in three minutes."
Maya was staring at my posters on the wall when I turned on the TV. The voice of the game's narrator filled my room but none of us were paying attention.
"How much drunk am I to come to the Machester asshole's room for a bet?" She laughed. "Try not to steal my organs."
"You made a good image out of me, Hart." This time I laughed and she threw herself on my bed while she looked at me and started counting.
"Take off your coat. You're not starting with more pieces of clothing than me." She said and I counted as well just to make sure.
I agreed and threw my coat at the chair.
"Never been so easy to get a girl naked." I whispered and she pushed me almost making fall off the bed while I laughed.
"We're going to see about that."
When the judge blew the whistle and the first Liverpool player posicioned to kick. A triumphant smile appeared on my face.
I knew I was going to win that.
I'd rub it on Maya's face what team was the best and as a prize I would get to see her naked without any effort.
That, my friend, was the perfect bet.
I knew I'd lose some pieces of clothing, too. But I didn't care at all.
"GOOOOOOOOOOAAAL! LIVERPOOOL!"
The narrator screamed making Maya stare at me smiling from ear to ear.
"Ha, that's going to be so funny." She said, still laughing, and I followed her while I took off my shoes.
"Don't get too excited 'cause this is probably all you're going to see of my body, at least in this bet." I winked and she laughed loud.
We both had taken off our shoes and socks and I had already lost my shirt. And it was the time for Liverpool's third kick.
I stared at Maya, completely vitorious, and approached my mouth to her ear.
"Looks like someone is going to lose her dress." I whispered and she rolled her eyes.
"I knew I should've worn pants today." She answered with regret and I laughed.
"So you admit you're going to lose?"
"The dress. Probably." She laughed. "But I'm sure you're not going to see what you want to."
"You are a little too confident, don't you think?"
Before she could answer Hernandéz made a goal for Manchester United. I yelled more louder than I could and she cursed.
"I want this dress on the floor, Hart." I said maliciously and she made a very unhappy face.
When she took off the flowered dress reveling a lacy purple lingerie. I almost forgot what was the bet. For a brief second I practically forgot the game.
I stared at the her body from the top to the bottom and she threw the dress at me with no delicacy.
"Stop drooling, Friar."
Liverpool goal
"And pass those pants to me." She completed with a smirk.
We exchanged a look laughing.
That was a weird situation. And she was extremely hot, which was disturbing me, because I knew she'd get out of here without passing through my bed.
"Are you sure you want to continue?" I teased. "You could just accept Manchester is better than Liverpool."
She laughed.
"You are a perfect idiot. And I want to expand this bet." She said equally challenger.
Expand the bet? Would that eventually end up on my bed?
"What do you suggest?" I answered and she stared at me.
"Sex, obviously." She said and I widened my eyes in surprise and she laughed loud.
"You should've seen your face, Friar. Priceless."
Motherfucker.
"What do you want?!"
"What if the loser had to swim naked in the lake of the campus?" She said simply as if she was informing the time and I laughed.
"There's a storm and it's 39 degrees outside, Maya."
"Are you afraid?"
"I just didn't want you to get hypothermia but as I see you don't care, do you?"
I extended my hands and held her hand sealing the second bet.
That was even better than I expected.
Maya didn't move a muscle when Rooney walked to the ball. She knew exactly where she was getting herself into. I got closer supporting my chin on her shoulder.
"Get ready for the imminent freeze, Hart." I smiled. "Do you want me to start opening your bra?" I questioned and she pushed me angry.
"Fuck you, Friar!"
"Rooney is about to kick. He kicks to the corner and... BRAD JONES DEFENDS! INCREDIBLE!"
I heard screams coming from the floors below but the worst scream was Maya's, who started laughing wildly when Rooney threw himself on the floor practically crying for the lost goal.
I didn't know what to do.
That could not be happening.
"What were you saying, Friar?" I heard a voice behind me and then she putted her chin on my shoulder, probably on her tip toes, like I did minutes before. She was smiling.
"Do you want me to start taking your boxers off for you?"
"Do not tease me, Maya." I murmured completely mad.
HOW DID ROONEY LOSE THAT FUCKING GOAL?
Even Lady Gaga wearing meat and high heels would've make it, I thought, and shook my head.
This girl was in my life for like two hours and had already made it a living hell.
The worst part was that now, if Liverpool makes the goal I'll be in deep shit. Literally.
Freezing my ass and all the rest of my body in front of all my friends and all the students.
There was still a chance, just one chance, and I held onto it.
Maya didn't stop talking and I wanted to kill her, but I kept myself.
She was equally tense when Suárez went to kick. Moving her hands restlessly.
When the narrator and Maya screamed goal together I freezed.
Ironically petrified.
She threw herself at me and hugged me but I had no reaction.
What a fucked day.
When our looks returned to cross, holding her laugh, she pointed to my underwear.
"So, it's time for me to see if you are all they say, isn't it, Manchester asshole?" She laughed.
"Pass me that underwear, Huckleberry."
"Huckleberry?" I said not understanding the nickname.
"There are little horses on your underwear." She explained.
"Maya..."
"I love it when you say my name." She threw herself on my armchair, crossing her legs and putting it on the table as she took a sip of her beer. Then she smiled.
"C'mon, Ranger Rooney. Your torture session is just starting."
"Go, Friar!"
"Show us that white ass!"
"This is the best moment of my life!"
The screams in front of the residence were deafening.
The news about the bet ran through the whole campus as fast as Rooney's lost goal and hundreds of people were standing in front of the building. People I knew, people I hated and girls that potencially passed through my bed.
The devil was by my side, of course, laughing.
"Hurry up, Friar, it's cold here." She said laughing and I stared at the lake pissed.
"You'll really let me do this?" I begged in the height of panic, what if my balls shrink and never come back. Fuck, imagine the temperature of that shit!
She smiled in a sweet and angelic way but I knew it was just theatre.
"The choice is yours, honey. I can't really throw you in there, but will you quit the bet in front of the whole university?" She asked and I started taking off my pants. "That's what I thought." She laughed
Some screams. Now only my horse underwear separated me from my completely humiliation.
"Do you need help?" She laughed and I cursed all the ancestors of her family.
Sorry, Farkle.
"Fuck you."
"Hurry up, stop being such a girl!"
"Have you no mercy?" I asked with my seductive voice and she laughed too loud.
Offensive, at least.
"I can end the bet with one condition." She smiled. "You'll scream for all this phones filming us that Liverpool is better than Manchester United."
This time I was the one who laughed.
"Not even in your best dream, Hart."
"Then good diving, Friar."
I felt every centimeter of my body freeze when I threw myself in the lake. I kept submersed for some seconds, cursing, trying to join forces to emerge and face what probably expected me.
When I putted my head out the water I was shivering.
I saw Maya get my clothes and I screamed.
"Hey! Are you really doing this?" I tried to laugh but my teeth were chattering. "How old are you? 8?"
She laughed.
"I like to keep souvenirs from guys who think too much of themselves and who I can make a fool of." Maya smiled and opened her coat a bit so I could see she had only her lingerie on. "But don't worry, I'm leaving my dress here so you can put something on when you get out of there. I promise it'll be fun. At least for me." She smirked maliciously before she turned and left.
"I'LL GET MY REVENGE, HART!" I screamed but she didn't even look back.
I still could hear her famous laugh while she walked away.
That day, I've never hated a person so much.
Today I can only think about how much I miss her.
Yeah, it's football, not soccer. 'Cause I'm from Brazil.