Her eyes never leave his face, not even for a second. From the moment Amy gives her the aspirins, her green eyes have been glued to Andy's pale face. She has seen the pain and worry there, etched on the usually soft lines, which in that moment look sharper in the midst of the heart attack. She has seen his body crumple on itself in a matter of seconds. She had been there, trying to follow him down in his maddening descent to the floor. Her hands had immediately reached for his, before moving to his face. Sharon had held that very same face just hours before, when she had been about to leave their now shared home; he had been clipping his badge to his trousers, when she had suddenly lifted his chin, smiled at the man she was so ridiculously in love with, and kissed him sweetly. s she holds his pale face in her hands and calls his name and then addresses him by his rank, she thinks about that fleeting moment, that last kiss and the way his face had lit up and his hand had wandered where it probably shouldn't have when her son was in the premises. Was that really the last time she'd see that smile?
She doesn't recall Chief Howard calling the paramedics or Mike making the small crowd move aside as he knelt down to assist his friend and colleague. All she can see, hear, feel is Andy. His pained eyes, his laboured breathing, his clammy skin. She doesn't hear Mike talking to her and doesn't react when he gently grips her arm and tries to make her move aside. The paramedics have just left the elevator and are now rushing towards the murder room. Mike lets her arm go and looks at Provenza with worry. The older Lieutenant is at a loss for word. It's the third time in less than two years that his friend has collapsed in front of him and the second time, he is witness to the devastating effect this has on his Captain.
"Sharon." he calmly says, but his voice doesn't cut through the haze she is currently in. "Captain Raydor." His voice is now firmer and he manages to get a hum from the woman still kneeling in front of his best friend.
Sharon doesn't look up. Andy's eyes are almost closed, but his breathing is steadier now. His heart is still beating in his chest and she can feel it for herself. Her hands haven't left his body yet and neither have her eyes. She's still looking at him as if her own life depends on that simple action. She's not letting him out of her sight for one more second.
"Captain, the paramedics are here." Mike says.
Suddenly Andy is coughing, his irregular breathing getting the best of his lungs, his throat probably as dry as a desert. Sharon strokes his face and his eyes close for one, two, three, four, five seconds and they reopen only when she calls his name. The paramedics are right next to her and she has to let go of him.
"Andy..."
He only hums.
"The paramedics are here. They're going to take care of you." she explains.
"Ok." It's only a whisper, but to Sharon is more than she had expected. She moves away from him, tries to keep as close as she can without being a hussle to the medics. There's a warm hand on her shoulder as the paramedic load her boyfriend onto the gurnay. Rusty is by her side, he doesn't say anything, but that simple gestures conveys more than words ever could. In the last year, mostly thanks to Gus' influence and a few well placed words from his mother, the young man had learned to open up to Andy and had come to appreciate the older man's advice and opinion. In the same amount of time, Rusty had seen his mother carry that worriedd, heartbroken expression on her face twice. He had also never seen her as happy as she is when Andy is around, except maybe when all three of her kids, and Gus, are reunited with her.
"We're taking him to Cedars. You'll have to drive yourselves. We can't take anyone on with us. In this case it's too risky and we need the space to move around in case anything happens.", one of the paramedics says. Nobody says a word, but they all nod. Seconds later they are wheeling the stretcher away from the murder room and Sharon is following them as closely as she is allowed. The team is walking just a few steps behind her.
"Andy?"
"Uhm." He tries to look at her, but the collar and the paramedics are keeping him tightly in place.
"Let's make a deal, what do you say?" She can imagine the confused look on his face at her question.
"What..."
"A deal. You and me." she pauses. "You survive this and I marry you, huh? How do you like that?"
The smile that graces his face gives her a bit of hope.
"Provenza... package deal." he mumbles.
Sharon almost snorts.
"Yee gods."
"He can have you every second weekend of the month, how's that?" she asks, a smile on her face.
"Umkay... Love you." he slurls, a smal smile still on his face as the elevator doors start closing.
"I love you too, Andy."
She had a chance to say it and she took it. No reason why she shouldn't have.