Disclaimer: I do not own the Twilight series, the Volturi, Felix or Jane (although I wish I did) or eyeliner.
Dedication: I dedicate this to all the people over at Kismet. You know why and who you are. You're all amazing. I'd also like to dedicate this to Felix, without whom this fanfiction would have never happened.
Felix vs. Jane + Eyeliner
Clack, clack, clack, Her shoes sound as she trots down the abandoned hallway in the Volturi castle. "Felix, come out, come out, wherever you are!" She calls, although no sound comes out of the old stones except the persistent clatter of her shoes. "I'm not going to hurt you, "She says as she slowly removes her shoes, placing them silently against the far wall. Jane stands still and unbreathing in the middle of the hallway, the weapon gripped in her small hand, listening for any Felix-like noises. "Fifi! Please, my fluffy, sexy, Fifi bunny!" She pleads, using his detested nickname.
Jane hears a whimper coming from the door near the end of the hall, and she tip-toes towards it, her feet barely touching the floor, as she listens in earnest. "Fifi…" She whispers, and the whimper comes again, a vampire in intense pain. Her hand on the doorknob, she slowly turns it, wincing every time it creaks--it was just like him to pick the nosiest door in the place--and whirls towards the black cloaked figure, curled up and trembling, in a severe state of panic. "There you are, you rascally vampire! Didn't think you could get away from old Jane, did you? 4 hours searching, and this is where you've been?" She pounces, the long, slim weapon poised in her hand. A blood curdling shriek comes from the trembling vampire, followed by the sounds of a fight.
Finally, an agitated murmur comes from the dark haired, small girl crouched over the larger, shivering vampire, "Hold still, you buffoon! Do you want it in the eye?" Some undisguisable noises come from the pale, bluish mouth, but the squirming stops. "Good v-pire!" She praises, and sweeps the black eyeliner tip under his lashes again. "Now, who's the hottest vampire in the land? Yes, you are, you are!" She clucks, scratching him under the chin like a domesticated cat. But Felix "Fifi"'s pride will not be broken anymore, and he proceeds to hiss and attacks, making a run for the upper castle and the safety of make-up remover.
Jane sits on the floor, sad to have lost her Barbie for the day, but quickly comes up with another plan involving the formidable eyeliner, Marcus, and some vampire-proof chains. Cheered by this scheming, she picks herself up and skips away, calling loudly. "Oh Marcus, where art thou Marcus?"
A/N: I'd like to thank M & J from the message boards for the nickname Fifi, and the idea for this fan fiction.