Disclaimer: I own nothing that you recognize (and seriously, do you need me to say that?).
Author's Note: To those of you who've been waiting, I'm so sorry it's taken me so long to get this out. Things became really busy, so I didn't finish when I wanted to. That and instead of this being one chapter, my muse demanded three. I will post the other two as soon as they are edited, and you can speed up that process by reviewing.
Before reading any further, please make sure you have read the first in this series, "There's Always Something", first. If you haven't, this won't make a lot of sense. I hope you enjoy!
Chapter 1: Kind Hospitality
Bucky walked slightly behind the jogger he had met only moments ago, feeling a strange sensation that had been absent from his mind for years. The joy of companionship. After being so lost in utter despair, the presence of a kind human being, one who was not sadistic or evil, cheered Bucky immensely. He finally felt safe.
The logical, calculating part of his brain was warning him that he had no reason at all to trust this man. Joshua. That might not even be his real name! For all Bucky knew, the man could be working for Hydra, luring him into a trap. But something inside of Bucky protested. The man's eyes were too genuine to be Hydra, and his words, contrary to any design of Hydra, had caused the Soldier to lose dominance in Bucky's mind. His own consciousness—the real Bucky—was back, and that was proof enough of something good.
Joshua led Bucky down the winding path of the green belt and eventually onto a city street. The morning sun's light was streaming between the tall buildings of downtown D.C., and its rays warmed Bucky's cold cheeks. He had been in the nearly freezing temperatures all night, and now he realized how much he had missed warmth.
Clouds were sparse in the sky, as was the traffic on the road. Bucky also noticed that there were few people walking on the sidewalk. At first he wondered at this, but then it occurred to him that most people were probably at home celebrating the holiday. He still couldn't remember much, but somehow it just seemed natural to people to stay home on holidays.
Joshua led Bucky for a few minutes before he stopped at the front of a small building that Bucky identified as a church by the cross-topped steeple. Joshua dug into his pocket and produced a key, which he used to unlock the double doors. He then opened them and showed Bucky through into what was obviously the sanctuary.
"I've got a couple rooms in the back," Joshua explained. "You can shower there and change into some clean clothes."
"You live in the church?" Bucky asked, daring to speak for the first time in a while.
"Yeah, I'm the associate pastor. Normally the senior pastor would have the parsonage, but since he's got his own place and I don't, the elders said I should stay here for the time being."
Bucky simply nodded as he followed Joshua to a hallway in the back. Here Joshua unlocked another door that led to a small, two-room apartment. Joshua closed the door behind Bucky and switched on the light, revealing a scantily furnished bedroom with a bathroom tacked on the side.
"I'll get you a shirt and jeans," Joshua said. "Take as long as you want."
The shower was so soothing and pleasant that Bucky was tempted to remain under the warm flow of water for hours on end. He scrubbed the grime off his neck and face, and he washed the grease from his hair. He used a washcloth to clean his metallic arm as best he could, and when at last he stepped out of the shower, he felt like he had undergone a rebirth.
The clean shirt and pants felt very good against Bucky's now unsoiled skin. Thankfully, the shirt was long-sleeved, and so most of the silver arm was covered. The problem of the exposed hand was still present, but Bucky opted to shove it in his pocket. This did look more awkward than it had when he'd worn the jacket, but he couldn't stand to put on that dirty thing again. Perhaps Joshua would give him some gloves if he asked anyway.
When Bucky exited the bathroom, Joshua was sitting on his bed, reading something on a tablet. At the presence of his guest, Joshua looked up his computer and smiled.
"Everything alright?" Bucky nodded profusely, earning a larger grin from Joshua. "Good. We've still got about an hour before we need to leave, so I figured you might want to go ahead and eat something. I've got snacks of various kinds in the cupboard: take whatever you want."
Bucky was very hungry, and feeling comfortable in the environment, he stepped over to the cupboard and foraged for some food. He could not remember the names of the items sitting on the shelf, but they did look familiar. He was glad that some of these foods seemed to be from his memory; maybe he would regain more knowledge of the past as time progressed.
When he had selected some food, he created a pile of various snacks on a paper towel and reentered the center of the room. He sat on a chair near the bed and ate what was on his lap, being careful to use only his right hand. He glanced up occasionally at Joshua, who seemed quite immersed in what he was reading.
"Sounds like some pretty big stuff has been going down on the other end of town," Joshua commented in a serious tone. "It's all over the news that some big government agency was seriously compromised, or something like that. There was a fight, too. Apparently there's a lot of wreckage in the river. I'm surprised I didn't hear about this yesterday."
Bucky tensed a little at the mention of the incident involving S.H.I.E.L.D., but he tried not to let it show. It would be no use trying to explain to Joshua everything that had happened. Bucky wasn't even sure he could carry on a normal conversation yet, not to mention tell the story that gave him shivers.
"Hey, even Captain America was involved in this battle!" Joshua exclaimed. "It must have been a big deal."
"You know Captain America?" Bucky asked, unable to mask his curiosity.
"Sure, doesn't everyone? Of course, I don't know him personally, but he's been pretty popular in the world lately. The whole alien invasion thing pretty much glued him into the spotlight."
"Is he alright?" Bucky pressed. Joshua raised an eyebrow, and Bucky immediately covered his own statement. "I heard that he was hurt."
"Hmm…" Joshua said, scanning the screen. "It says here that he was brought to a hospital with multiple gunshot wounds, but he is now in stable condition. I guess that's his super-ness at work."
Bucky felt a huge relief wash over him, and he went back to his snack. Steve was going to be alright. That was certainly good news. However, Bucky wondered what Steve would do when he was well enough to leave the hospital. No doubt that stubborn punk would be on his trail quicker than a bloodhound. And what then? What would he do when Steve found him?
"Do you want some sleep?" Joshua asked, standing up. "You could nap until it's time to go, if you're comfortable with that. You look tired."
Bucky hadn't thought much about sleep. He could not remember the last time he had truly slept, and the idea filled his mind with longing. Since he fell from the train in 1945, he had only managed to snatch a few dozes in between the terrible frozen slumbers found in the cryotube. With sleep on his mind, it seemed nothing his rational self told him was reason enough to refuse the offer. He nodded.
Joshua gestured to the bed, but Bucky refused that courtesy. He may not have known a lot about manners, but he knew that he could not ask such a level of hospitality from the man who had given him so much already. Instead, he opted for the couch, which was still very comfortable. Anything was better than a coffin of ice.
As he got into the perfect position, Bucky wondered for perhaps the tenth time since he came with Joshua why the man cared so much about a complete stranger. Joshua had not yet spoken on the matter, and Bucky's curiosity was growing greater all the time. Perhaps the answer would come at the park later on, after Bucky had rested and eaten. In fact, these kindnesses might even be a way to prove whatever point Joshua planned to make.
Bucky had, at first, intended to sleep lightly in case Joshua should try something, for even though he was becoming more laid back all the time, he could not turn his Winter Soldier self off completely. No matter what his intentions were, however, he soon fell into a very deep sleep, so deep that no nightmare of the past could creep in his mind to disturb him.
When he awoke, he felt himself greatly refreshed despite the brevity of his rest. He sat up and saw that Joshua was getting on his coat. When the man noticed that Bucky was awake, he smiled and walked toward the couch.
"I was just going to get you up. It's about time to leave."
Bucky nodded and stood. He stretched, but was again careful to hide his left hand. For the first time, he actually considered the cold, unfeeling metal that was his arm. It suddenly seemed so…inhuman. It was designed to make him a killing machine; a weapon. Anger flashed behind his eyes as he remembered Hydra and what they had done to him, but he did not let his feeling draw him from the present.
"May I use gloves?" he asked quietly, his head down.
"Sure!" Joshua answered, turning to a drawer and pulling out a pair of black gloves. Bucky prayed that they would be the right size, and slipping into the bathroom, he closed the door and put them on. It was a tight fit, but he did manage to get his left hand inside the glove. He took a brief glance in the mirror and smoothed down his brown hair. He could use a shave, and there was evidence of scratches on his face, but otherwise he looked fine. He was normal as he could appear.
After giving him a jacket, Joshua took him out of the apartment and through the church's exit, locking the doors behind him. When they got to the street, Joshua slowed his speed a little so that Bucky was forced to walk at his side rather than slightly behind. Joshua's joyful, kind face seemed to always contain a smile, and Bucky couldn't help but wonder about what made this man so content. Perhaps he had never endured true hardship, but Bucky did not think that was the case. He had something special, and it couldn't just be ignorance.
"Well, now that you've had some proper rest," Joshua said, "I will begin to address the question as best I can. But first, I have to talk about the Biblical reasons that we should be thankful. May I proceed?"
Bucky nodded eagerly. While Hydra had strictly opposed religion, Joshua's manner caused Bucky to doubt his training once again. If religion was a big lie, a coping mechanism for the weak, then why was it more effective than reality? Hydra's "reality" had caused Bucky to despair. There must be something more, and from the way Joshua lived, the jogger couldn't be far off.
"God created us," Joshua said, but his tone made the simple statement sound like a spectacular discovery. "He didn't have to, but He did. He gave us not only life, but a soul and a consciousness with which to enjoy things. He gave us a world to live in and have dominion over. He gave us access to Himself. He gave us companionship and the ability to love. He made us in His image, and many more wonderful things.
"But, we fell from our original state of innocence. That did not erase all these blessings, and in fact, it was a part of God's plan to show the depths of His love for us. When the first of our race sinned, we received a depraved nature. Human will is bent toward evil. As one of the greatest theologians, John Calvin, said, if God let our minds loose to all their desires, there would be no mistaking our innate evil.
"So, while all that sounds quite not-for-Thanksgiving, it is very important, so bear with me. In must be understood how wretched and sinful we are to even begin to comprehend God's graces to us as a fallen people. First of all, He has kept us from the wickedness we are capable of. His providence over humanity is sometimes staggering. Think of how long mankind has had nuclear power, and yet somehow we haven't destroyed ourselves. Not even half of ourselves. In fact, no terrorist has successfully used a nuke on anybody. That's amazing.
"There are a million different ways that God keeps bad people from carrying out bad intentions. Every second of every day has an instance in which God's sovereign hand saved someone. Every 'lucky coincidence' is actually a grace from God.
"God's greatest gift, however, came in the form of His Son. Now, the doctrine of the Trinity is far too complex for us to discuss while on a walk to the park when I have another purpose in mind, but feel free to ask me about it later. For now, just roll with me here. God is three Persons and yet one God. He is the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. God the Son took on the essence of humanity, not the sin nature, but everything else, and left His throne in heaven. He came down to earth and was born as a man, though He remained fully God. He lived a perfect life and died a terrible death for the sake of sinners. He allowed the wrath of God to fall on Him instead of us so that our debt owed to God might be cancelled. He atoned for our evil. Then He rose from the dead, and His righteousness can be imputed to those who believe.
"God's gift of salvation is available to all, though our sin prevents us from coming. So God extends further grace and draws His children to Himself. Goodness, how great is His love!"
Joshua was beaming so widely that it looked like his smile would split his face in half. His eyes sparkled with enthusiasm, and while Bucky could tell that the man knew all of these facts by heart, Joshua acted like this was glorious truth that he was uncovering for the first time. That made it much harder to write off anything that Joshua said.
"Let me give a brief rundown of God's grace to worthless sinners," Joshua said, recovering himself a little. "He lived for us. He died for us. He justifies us. He purifies us. He calls us. He protects us. He guides us. He grants us inheritance with His Son. He gives us the Holy Spirit. The Son intercedes on our behalf. He hears our prayers. He gives us the Church with which to fellowship. He gives us suffering to produce perseverance, character, and hope."
"Suffering is a gift?" Bucky blurted out, astounded. He had hardly dared to speak up, but that last comment seemed ridiculous. Clearly if Joshua had ever suffered, it had not been severe.
"James 1:2-4 says we should 'Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing'. Suffering is in itself a completely different conversation, which I would be more than happy to have, but not yet. I haven't gotten to the 'why I care' part of this whole deal yet."
"But do you know suffering?" Bucky pressed. The way he asked it was not simply a question of if Joshua had suffered, but if Joshua knew suffering. Had he ever truly been hurt? One could not just go around claiming that suffering was nice and good if they hadn't really experienced it. Or at least they couldn't convince Bucky of any such thing.
Joshua's expression sobered a little, and for a moment he did not answer. Bucky knew that the associate pastor had probably been prepared for such a question, but perhaps it was still difficult to answer. That would definitely be true if Joshua had no experience with suffering. At last, the jogger raised his face and looked ahead, smiling slightly, but not as joyfully as before.
"Depends on what you call suffering. Physically I have never endured real suffering, I admit that readily. I broke my arm when I was in fourth grade, but that's it. Emotionally…I've had a decent share of trials. One, actually, but it was the hardest thing I've ever gone through. I lost my wife and son about a year ago. They were killed by a drunk driver in a car accident while I was out of town, and the grief of the incident was very hard for me to deal with. Anger and hatred were in my thoughts, and they would have turned to bitterness without the help of my faithful brothers. Eventually I was able to do the right thing: accept God's will, move on, and forgive the man who wronged me."
"The drunk driver?" Bucky asked in shock. "Why?"
"Ah," Joshua said, grinning much more brightly. "Now we come to the question: why do I care? Well, I care because of Christ! Because of what He did for me, even when I had wronged Him first. Because I would want someone else to help me, were I in need. Because every person is my brother. Because the Bible commands me to help others. But more than anything else, I want my life to be the proof of His love. It's not to say there aren't other proofs, but I think sometimes that a living example is the most powerful. Let my life be the proof of His love."
The last line was said softly, almost as if Joshua were reminding himself of the truth as much as telling Bucky of it. With that sentence, the conversation came to an end as all that needed to be said had already been discussed. Bucky mulled over everything he had been told, which was quite a lot, as the two continued to walk down the sidewalk. So many things he had never considered, such crazy ideas that refused to be refuted. Bucky wondered what light the fellowship would shed on Joshua's statements. Fortunately, he did not have to wait long to find out.
Well, what'd ya think? I hope I gave The Answer to The Question fairly well, and if anyone thinks I left something important out, be sure to let me know! And guys, PLEASE leave me some reviews. I cannot express in words how happy feedback makes me!