Title: Dear Kate
Author: Sylvia
Disclaimer: I don't own them.
Summary: Richard Castle writes a love note to his wife of 40 years.
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Dear Kate,
I've lost count of how many letters I've written you now. I lost count a while ago. After around eight I think. Happy 40th anniversary, baby. I miss you so much. This is the third one without you here to celebrate with me. Don't worry, I'm not angry. Just sad. A bit lonely, too. Yesterday, I found myself in a jewelry store. At the mall. Not sure how I got to that exact store. The woman asked me if I was looking for anything special. I told her I was just searching. She'd actually remembered me from the other times I'd bought some of your gifts there. She asked me how you were. I was quiet, but then said you were doing great.
What was I supposed to say? She died? I'm just at a jewelry store because I'm some creep who can't accept his wife's demise? Not in the mood to hear in awkward apology. Sick of the empathy. Alexis' firstborn is pregnant. Can you believe it? Me. A great grandfather. It's scary, but exciting. It makes me realize just how old I am. But, I'm not afraid of death. Because I know you're there. Waiting for me. You're probably young and beautiful again. Not that your beauty ever faded.
I realize that in your last few years you had begun to think you were anything but beautiful. Even in death you're still the most gorgeous woman in the world. I'll never have eyes for anyone else, and I never have. Not since you wormed your way in to my heart.
Things are so different from what they were 45 years ago. When we were two adults, young and fresh, blindly in love but too afraid to do anything about it. I still remember when Alexis was just a teenager. Fun, silly, innocent and sweet. I remember my mother. Her crazy antics, all the auditions. I'm just glad she got her chance to shine, to be in the spotlight for the last 30 years of her life. Those were her happiest years, I'd stated one day. But, she just looked at me and smiled. She said, "When you were small. Those were the happiest years."
Life is as sad as it is beautiful. There's no you. But, there is at the same time. You live on in our children, all four of them. We have nine beautiful grandchildren, and our first great grandchild on the way. When Kristen made the announcement of her pregnancy, Alexis started crying. I started bowling. Okay, not bowling perse. Just, crying. A lot. It was a happy day. Alexis hugged her grand daughter, then I did. Then Alexis told her that her mother would've been so proud. We've lost a lot.. The day that Alexis' daughter was in that car accident was one of the hardest days. For all of us. At least she had us to fallback on, and the rest of her children, and her husband. Who would've thought that her first love as a teenager would end up marrying her one day?
I'm babbling now. 'Suppose it's just all the excitement. Each day that goes by is another day I grow older. Closer to death. Everyone understands it, even if they don't want to accept it. I love you, Katherine Rose Beckett-Castle. Soon, sooner than we realize, we'll be together. Forever.
Always.
With love,
your grieving husband,
Rick