My Name is Petunia
My name is Petunia, yes,
Lovely Petunia, I'm
Homemaker, mother, and wife.
Yes, I am Petunia, oh,
Darling Petunia, and
I have a rather nice life.
My husband's successful,
Though work may be stressful;
He heads up a firm that makes drills.
My beautiful Dudley
Is sweet, smart, and cuddly,
Unequalled in charm and in skills!
My only complaint, dear,
Makes me want to faint, dear,
Our nephew showed up on our mat.
Someone killed my sister,
(As yet, I've not missed her),
And so we got stuck with her brat!
This boy is to frown at -
He looks like a drowned rat,
Green eyes, messy hair black as tar.
He's short and he's skinny,
The nearsighted ninny;
His face sports a horrible scar!
It's just as I feared, oh,
This kid's such a weirdo;
He's just like his maw and his paw!
He let out a snake,
Wrecked my glorious cake,
And inflated my sister-in-law!
His friends are suspicious,
In fact, they're malicious;
They ride flying cars just for fun!
They demolished our wall,
And on top of it all,
They practically poisoned my son!
So pity Petunia, yes,
Poor Aunt Petunia,
Whose nephew brings her so much strife!
Just look at Petunia,
And I'm sure that soon ya
Will know I've a rather hard life!
My name is Petunia, yes,
Lovely Petunia, I'm
Homemaker, mother, and wife.
Yes, I am Petunia, oh,
Darling Petunia, and
I have a rather nice life.
My husband's successful,
Though work may be stressful;
He heads up a firm that makes drills.
My beautiful Dudley
Is sweet, smart, and cuddly,
Unequalled in charm and in skills!
My only complaint, dear,
Makes me want to faint, dear,
Our nephew showed up on our mat.
Someone killed my sister,
(As yet, I've not missed her),
And so we got stuck with her brat!
This boy is to frown at -
He looks like a drowned rat,
Green eyes, messy hair black as tar.
He's short and he's skinny,
The nearsighted ninny;
His face sports a horrible scar!
It's just as I feared, oh,
This kid's such a weirdo;
He's just like his maw and his paw!
He let out a snake,
Wrecked my glorious cake,
And inflated my sister-in-law!
His friends are suspicious,
In fact, they're malicious;
They ride flying cars just for fun!
They demolished our wall,
And on top of it all,
They practically poisoned my son!
So pity Petunia, yes,
Poor Aunt Petunia,
Whose nephew brings her so much strife!
Just look at Petunia,
And I'm sure that soon ya
Will know I've a rather hard life!