Dear Readers:

This is a flashfic written by a fellow FanFictioner as a gift to me. I thought it was funny, and wish to share it with you. I encouraged him to publish it, be he would not. Therefore, I'm publishing it here.

I did NOT write this. All credit MUST go to:

u/65609/

(David Tai)

Please forward your compliments to him directly. All reviews will be forwarded to him as well.

Thank you, and enjoy.

Nano Notes: This Fic is based on the general premise that:

- Leona has attended every single one of Iori's concerts, and is completely nuts over him. He, on the other hand, is clueless (and presumably, unconscious for the duration of this story).

- She broke military protocol to fish Yag out of a zombie-infested SouthTown- which is under quarantine by US Military.

- Daddy Heidern is none too happy with their one-sided relationship.

- I've made some small edits, wording etc...

The fact somebody took the time to write something (even loosely) based on my story is absolutely insane to me. Thanks so much David. *3*

End Notes.

With Iori currently under medical observation at the Ikari hospital, Leona's punishment for going AWOL without permission was to stand guard. Originally she'd been intended to stand guard alone, but Clark had 'suggested' that he was also due for punishment for letting her break quarantine around Southtown.

Heidern shrugged. Fair enough. Besides, leaving Leona alone with Iori seemed more like a reward than a punishment. At least Clark would make sure it'd be -treated- as one.

However, Clark was nowhere to be seen. He had stepped out to take a well-earned dump.

And Leona was faced with temptation. They'd dropped off fresh new clothes for Iori to wear once he was ready to leave the hospital- which he would be, as soon as they gave him one final check.

The infamous black jacket, the too-loose white shirt, the red pants.

She'd seen this ensemble at all his concerts, and there was -something- about that outfit that called to her. It wasn't quite the Riot of the Blood. Riot of Hormones, maybe...?

No, that wasn't her, she was an Soldier.

But...

"Phew, that's a hell of a load off!" Clark exclaimed, as he walked back into the room. "Hey Leona...!"

"What?" There was an unusual note in Leona's voice as she peeked around a hospital's privacy curtain. It took Clark a moment to identify the tone... Leona was flustered. Clark's eyebrows went up. What was there to be flustered about... and wait, why was she peeking around the hospital curtain. She couldn't be...

No, the silhouette behind the curtain assured him she was clothed. Wait...

That didn't look like her usual clothes.

Clark's voice was dangerously ominous. "Hey, come out from behind the curtain."

"Don't want to." Leona's voice was petulant. That was -definitely- another tone he hadn't heard since she was a child.

And suddenly, Clark was struck with suspicion. He yanked his shades off and tucked them in his shirt pocket to get a better look. The Ikari Warrior reached out and tried to push the curtain aside.

Leona kept it in place.

Screw this.

RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIP.

There Leona stood, in full Yagami costume.

Yeah, Yagami had never filled out -his- outfit quite like that.

Rather than pursue that line of thought any further, Clark smirked.

"Your boyfriend know you're wearing that?"

"He's not- wh... get out of here!"

Oh yeah, she was definitely fully flustered.

"Fine, fine." Holding one hand up, Clark reached into his pocket. "But before I go..."

He quickly pulled out his phone, and then clicked the camera icon on his screen lock.

There was the distinctive snap of a photo being taken.

Then, the Colonel ran for his life.