A/N : This was just something I wrote for fun since I discovered I have a new obsession with AschxGuy. It's supposed to be funny, so don't expect some big dramatic, serious thing. I'm thinking of writing more of an angsty AschxGuy later, but this was just sort of a trial story to get me used to the pairing. Anyway, without further ado...
"I really don't see why you invited me," Asch grumbled, his arms folded as he sat in a chair, watching the blonde servent prepare dessert.
"It wasn't me. It was Luke," Guy answered, stirring the cookie batter and then throwing in a handful of chocolate chips.
"Why? I hate birthdays," Asch replied.
"Oh, thanks," Guy teased.
"Not your birthday. Birthdays in general." Guy silently chuckled at Asch's foul mood, his habitual foul mood, and continued to mix together ingredients.
"Why aren't you with the others in the dinner hall?" the servent asked.
"The replica is there," came a simple reply. "Why are you being forced to cook when it's your birthday?"
"I volunteered to. I enjoy cooking, actually," Guy grinned. Asch just rolled his eyes. Another red-haired figure peeked his head in the door of the kitchen.
"Is dinner almost ready, Guy?" Luke asked, looking hopeful.
"Yeah, I just have to finish cooking the potatoes. I guess I'll bake the cookies after we eat our meal," the blonde answered, wrapping up the cookie dough and putting it in the fridge.
"'Kay. Asch, why are you out here? Come here for a sec," Luke asked, curling his finger in a 'follow me' motion. Asch huffed and got up from his seat.
"I was out here because Guy is the only interesting one in the whole manor," he mumbled. Guy smiled weakly, like he sometimes did when he was nervous, while the God-General followed his replica into the other room.
Jade, Anise, and Tear were in the dinner hall when Asch and Luke entered. Everyone seemed to tense up a little bit when they saw Asch, everyone except for Jade, that is. He had one leg folded over the other and gave a smirk when the two entered.
"Oh, it's great to see you so happy, Asch. Really, it is," he joked.
"Yeah, yeah. What did you want me for, replica?" Asch demanded.
"I-it's not me! It was Anise's idea!" Luke panicked, pointing at the young girl, violently.
"I think we should try to cure Guy's phobia," Anise smiled, evilly.
"What does that have to do with me?" the God-General asked, folding his arms.
"Everyone gets a turn. Even the boys," the girl continued.
"Why should we?" Asch questioned, his eyes darting to the side as if it was the most useless idea ever.
"I must say, I don't really approve of this either," Tear jumped in.
"Oh, come on, it'll be fun," Anise grinned.
"Yes, I think it will be rather amusing. It is his birthday after all. What better gift could he ask for?" Jade smirked again.
"I'm not exactly excited about it. But Guy does need to get over his phobia. And we're his friends, so..." Luke said.
"So it's our job to help him," Anise finished.
"And just to make it more interesting, whoever wins gets a prize," Jade put in.
"What's the prize?" Asch asked, not sounding the least bit enthusiastic.
"Oh, I'm not telling. But it's something you won't want to miss," the Colonel answered. Everyone glanced at everyone else uneasily, and then, deciding they couldn't fight their curiousity, all agreed to join in the game. Everyone but Asch.
"Guy! Do you need any help with dinner?" a maid called out from outside the kitchen.
"Nah, that's alright. I'm fine," Guy answered, feeling glad that he didn't need help because all the maids were, obviously, female. He turned off the oven and was just about to pick up the pot of potatoes when a hand slid down his back.
"Aaaaah!!" Guy yelped, jumping away. He was breathing heavily and his expression turned to that of extreme disbelief and annoyance when he saw that it was the witty Colonel behind him.
"Jade!!" he yelled. "What the hell was that for?? I thought you were-"
"A woman? Yes, I figured," Jade said, simply, closing his eyes. "I must admit, the maids here are very obedient. But it looks like I lost," the Colonel said, strolling out of the kitchen.
"Lost what??" Guy questioned, but Jade had already left. Guy shivered and then continued to work.
Almost every vegetable imaginable lay in front of the group, along with roast beef, gravy, applesauce, and a fruit punch that Guy had also made himself. Many 'ooh's and 'aah's were said as Guy and a few maids set the table.
"You've really outdone yourself, Guy," Jade said.
"Well, dig in, everyone," the blonde smiled. Asch, who was sitting beside the blonde servent, hesitantly looked at the food all around him. Then, deciding that nothing had ever been bad about Guy's cooking, filled his plate up as well. The meal was amazing. And Asch wasn't the only one who thought it. Heck, he was the only one who thought it and didn't admit it. Guy got praise from everyone except Asch who rarely praised anyone or anything.
"Let me help you carry the dishes out to the kitchen," Anise said, jumping up from the table as soon as they were done.
"Thank you, Anise," Guy smiled, getting up from his seat as well, and starting to clear away the plates. Anise walked over right beside Guy and began picking up the silverware.
"U-uh... Anise, th-that's okay..." the blonde stuttered, realizing how close she was getting to him, and still feeling a bit jumpy from his earlier encounter with Jade.
"I'll help too. It's unfair for everyone to leave you with the cooking and the cleaning when this is your birthday celebration," Tear spoke up, raising herself from her seat and approaching the table on the other side of Guy. The blonde servent jumped backwards, away from the two girls that were clearing away the dishes.
"What's wrong, Guy?" Tear asked.
"N-nothing," he answered.
"You guys are right. Guy shouldn't have to clean up after us," Luke said. Guy let out a sigh of relief and sat back down in his chair, leaving Tear and Anise to do the rest.
"How did we end up getting left with the dirty work?" Anise muttered to Tear as the two made their way to the kitchen.
"I... uh... have to go to the bathroom," Luke announced all of a sudden. Asch rolled his eyes, unimpressed with his replica's openness about the matter.
"O-okay," Guy answered. Jade smirked yet again.
The girls returned to the table after all the dishes had been cleared away, and a red-haired maid entered the room.
"Mister Gailardia, would you like a piece of pocky before dessert?" the maid asked, coming towards Guy. She held out the pocky in front of him. It was the strawberry kind; Guy's favorite.
"L-luke?" Guy questioned after a minute.
"Uh- How did you know?" Luke asked, blushing.
"Well, for one, I know your voice too well. And secondly, the maids don't know my full name," Guy explained, a hand on his chin. It was a habit of his when he was in deep thought.
"Oh," was all Luke could say.
"Why are dressed like that?" Guy questioned.
"N-no reason," Luke replied. Asch stifled a chortle.
"A-anyway, you wanna share this?" the boy in the maid costume asked.
"...I guess so. Hey, wait. Why would we do that when you have a whole box of pocky in your other hand?" Guy questioned, noticing that little fact.
"I-it's empty, I swear!" Luke said, trying his best to be convincing.
"Right..." Guy sighed. Luke put one end of the pocky in his mouth and leaned forward, Guy accepting the other end of it. They began to eat it, their faces becoming closer to one another, Anise and Jade trying hard to hide their amusement. Suddenly, Guy pulled away, putting his hands over his head.
"W-what was that about?" Luke questioned, swallowing the rest of the pocky.
"Y-you just reminded me so much of a girl right there... with the outfit and all..." Guy stuttered.
"O-oh. Sorry, Guy," Luke said, softly, tossing his maid tiara down on the table. Jade subtly pointed a finger at Luke in a 'haha, you lose too' sort of manner.
Guy took the cookies out of the oven. They were finally done. He was glad to finally be alone, since all his friends had been acting strangely. He took a bite of one of his cookies. He sighed contentedly. Delicious. The scent had been so appetizing, he just had to try one to make sure they lived up to his expectations before he served them to the others. Just then, the God-General entered the kitchen.
"You're back here sampling them?" Asch questioned.
"Sorry. I just had to make sure they were good enough," Guy smiled, foolishly.
"Whatever," Asch mumbled, sitting down in the chair he'd been sitting in earlier. Guy did nothing but continue to munch. After a few minutes of silence though, he spoke up.
"What's been going on with everyone?" he queried.
"You wanna know why everyone's been acting so weird?" Asch asked him, getting up from his chair.
"Yeah."
"You wanna know why the replica dressed up as a girl, why the girls were acting all sweet towards you, why Jade came up behind you by surprise?" Asch got closer and closer to Guy as he spoke.
"Um, yeah," Guy replied.
"They're trying to cure your phobia," Asch said.
"That's what this is all about?" Guy questioned, incredulously.
"Yeah. But, if you ask me, there's really no need to cure your phobia."
"What do you m-" but before Guy could finish his sentence, Asch had pinned him against the wall and pushed his body against Guy's.
"Happy Birthday, Guy," Asch smirked, as he pressed his lips against the servent's, giving him a birthday gift that he'd never expected; a gift even sweeter than his homemade cookies.
Meanwhile... The others awaited anxiously in the dining hall for the cookies that Guy had mentioned.
"What is taking so long?" Luke whined. Jade had an even bigger smirk on than he'd had all day. Tear picked up on this.
"C-colonel, you don't think-" Tear started to question.
"Yes, I think Asch might be winning," Jade answered, sounding amused.
"What?? Oh no!! I wanted the prize!" Anise shouted, holding her head and spinning around.
"Hey, what was the prize, Jade?" Luke asked.
"There's not much point in telling now," Jade smiled. "But I believe Asch just won it."
A/N : Please, review. No flames.