It was a chilly November afternoon, and I was standing in the pouring rain outside of his house, screaming his name at the top of my lungs. "Matt!" I yelled, "Matt!" I was on my knees, afraid of the future that lay behind that door. I couldn't force myself inside without his permission, I just couldn't piss him off anymore than I already had.

And boy, had I pissed him off.

I didn't think much of it at the time, because I always say what's on my mind. But I guess I went too far this time, because he was silent the rest of the day.

I thought he needed some time to cool off, but he wouldn't look at me at all the next day, and stayed as far away as possible. He wasn't quiet though, he actually seemed like he was enjoying himself. Without me. For some reason, that hurt the most. I had always thought he needed me, but I guess I was wrong.

Either way, I was going to be stubborn about the whole thing, and hope he got over it. That didn't happen. He continued to avoid me, and cut off all contacts. He blocked my screen name, ignored my calls, and completely erased me out of his life altogether.

Fuck, what had I done?

After about three weeks, I couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't keep pretending I didn't need him like he didn't need me, because in truth, I needed him more than I could ever know. I grabbed onto the cross pendant he got me for Christmas, and lied in the muddy puddles in the rain. My long blonde hair was soaked, and dirt was smeared all over my face.

I don't know how long I was standing out there, screaming his name, but the rain never stopped. In fact, night washed over, and the wind started to blow harder too. I can take pain and harsh conditions, but without my Mattie it's much more difficult. "Matt!" I kept shrieking. I wanted him to forgive me. I needed him to forgive me.

I started to get really cold. My hold body was shaking, and I could feel my lips turning blue. Some of the rain had turned into ice and it was gathering up around my legs. The cold felt like swords piercing the skin. I wouldn't give up though, I needed my best friend back.

I don't know how long it was before I passed out.

I don't know how long I was passed out, before I woke up.

And Matt was there, standing over me in the hospital. I couldn't believe I could see his face again, let alone he would be recognizing my existence.

I looked around and noticed a few doctors standing around me, checking my heart-rate and other such things. I didn't pay too much attention though, because I missed my best friend.

"Why did you save me?" I asked him, knowing that he was the one to relieve me from the cold. He didn't answer though. I guess he was still giving me the silent treatment. I understood, but I knew in my heart that even if he had saved me, nothing could ever be fixed unless I apologized.

"Matt," I whispered, "Please, forgive me. It was stupid, I shouldn't have ever said that. I went too far this time, and I know I did. It was the worst feeling knowing you hated me so much afterwards though. I couldn't take it."

He looked away. I was just hoping he'd think about forgiving me. I really, really needed him to.

I had a nightmare that night, and it was cold. Too cold. Things started to fade, Matt started to fade. I was afraid.

I awoke in a jolt to find Matt above me, shaking me awake. Now he was screaming my name. Well, not screaming, but whispering.

My eyes were wide, and so were his, but I knew by then he had forgiven me.

And it felt like the world were just taken off my shoulders.

I embraced him with the tightest hug I could muster, and he squeezed me right back. He was warm, too.

"Matt," I said, "I'm so sorry. I need you more than you could ever know."

"I love you, Mello."

"I love you too, Matt."