Don't Worry Baby
Author: hell's lil angel13
Summary: Drake worries when Josh makes a horribly spontaneous decision. Drake/Josh, Josh/Mindy
Disclaimer: I wished real hard, but my magic lamp must be busted, since I still don't own Drake & Josh.
Warnings: Nerdslash, stepcest slash, and swears
A/N: So, this whole fic was inspired by my friend's future wedding song by the Beach Boys and is just another of many plot bunnies that have been popping into my head while I struggle with my multi-chapter fic.
Drake woke up immediately with an uneasy feeling in his gut. He had cold sweat dripping down his face, dampening his hair and the collar of his shirt. He ran a hand through his hair, getting sweat on his hands, too. He looked around the dark bedroom to see the clock on his bedside table reading 3:47. He pulled his knees to his chest and sighed deeply.
At first, Drake thought it was just a dream that woke him up in this cold sweat, making his breathing ragged and heavy. But no, he realized when he had bad dreams, he always woke up screaming or Josh would shake him awake because he was moaning too loud. Bad dreams never made Drake just sweat.
He never used to have a lot of bad dreams, or dreams in general except for sexy dreams about him and four girls. But bad dreams? No, he hardly ever had those until last month. Last month had them coming suddenly, almost every night and they were always the same ones. He'd do something stupid and in the heat of the moment and Josh would be the one to pay for it. Then, Josh would just leave him stranded and not knowing where to go.
At first, Drake couldn't figure out why those dreams were bothering him this much and made him wake up sweating and shaking like a frightened little girl. But the more they came, the more they made sense. They were always about Josh leaving him, and Josh was leaving in the fall to go to college in Virginia. Drake didn't want him to go.
It was then that Drake noticed the window was open, and he and Josh always shut the window before they went to bed. He gulped loudly, trying to swallow the huge lump that suddenly formed in his throat. He and Josh had gotten into an argument about college the other day and they were still mad at each other. In the heat of the moment, Drake had told Josh that he should just leave now and make it all better, because he was so sick of having Josh around when he wanted to be across the country. He didn't mean to say it, but it just slipped out.
Now, their window was open, a breeze was blowing the curtains as if mocking Drake, and the room felt emptier than it should. Drake was shaking and it had nothing to do with the cold breeze. He forced himself to look over at his brother's bed. Sure enough, it was empty, the covers thrown off hastily.
Drake jumped out of his bed and padded across to the closet. Josh's duffle bag was gone and so were some of his clothes. He rushed over to the couch; Josh's laptop case was gone. Josh's set of car keys wasn't on his desk anymore, his G-O was gone and so were many of his and Drake's CDs.
"He really left," Drake said, his voice sounding hollow and gutted. He felt like Josh had just told him he was done with him again. Except this time, Josh didn't tell him, he just did it. There was only what Drake could figure out. That just made it hurt that much more. He now thought he knew what Craig felt like before Eric left.
The thought of the nerds stopped Drake a moment. He would never admit that he was at all like them in any way, but he could say, in the comfort of his own, now silent, room, that he knew what it was like for them, Craig mostly.
Craig always had to hide his love for Eric and while he may have been the most obvious person, Eric never found out. Unrequited love sucks. All the greatest loves songs will tell you that, you don't have to take it from Drake.
A sudden thought entered Drake's mind that cheered him only slightly. He rushed to Josh's bedside table, nearly falling and killing himself on Josh's comforter, but he barely noticed. He just needed to get to that table. As he sat down on the bed, he nearly cried with relief when he saw that Josh had taken his cell phone and his charger with him. He also saw a note on the table where Josh usually keeps his cell phone as if he knew Drake would look here.
Turning on the lamp and moving himself so he was more comfortable on the bed, Drake opened the letter. It was messy, as if Josh had written it in the dark and was rushing to get somewhere. This just made Drake worried all over again.
Drake, it read,
I really hope you get this quickly, but if you don't I understand. You're not the quickest on the uptake, anyway. But, if you do get this, I apologize to you. I never meant to make you feel stupid or inadequate. I know you don't need, nor want, to go to college, but this is something I need to do. You're gonna be a great rockstar some day, I know you will. You're gonna make it and you don't need me when you do it.
I needed to do something before I went to college, though, and that's where I am now. I know you hate Mindy, but she's my girlfriend and I love her. Yes, I said it, I love Mindy. So, I decided the other day when you told me I should just leave now that I would do this. I'm gonna ask Mindy to marry me, tonight.
I'll see you when I'm on break. Good luck with your career, not that you need it.
Love, Josh.
"Fuck no!" Drake said loudly, then stuffed the corner of the comforter in his mouth, hoping no one else heard that. Josh was eloping? Eloping to Mindy Crenshaw? Oh hell no, Drake was not going to let that happen. Especially since Josh practically said it was him that drove him to propose. Well, he drove him to propose, he could drive him to call the whole thing off.
In a matter of seconds, Drake had stripped out of his pajamas, thrown on some clothes, and grabbed his own car keys and a wad of money off the stereo. He was halfway down the side of the house when he realized that if Josh had taken the car, his keys would be useless. "Fuck!" he said again, this time not caring if anyone heard. He didn't have time for this!
He jumped down the rest of the way and ran as fast as he could towards the beach. Hopefully he'd see a cab along the way and could get a ride to the airport. Josh didn't say where he was getting married, but where else do you go if you're eloping at eighteen than Reno?
Luckily, Drake was able to find a cab relatively quickly, although it felt like way too long for him. "Where to, sonny?" the driver asked when Drake barreled his way inside.
"Closest airport and step on it, I gotta stop a wedding," Drake said in one breath and the driver nodded. Drake paid him when he got to the airport, thanking his lucky star that he still had enough to get to Reno. He just hoped Josh wouldn't be mad at him and they could drive home together.
He didn't know how long he waited for his flight, he just knew every minute he waited, Josh got closer and closer to marrying Mindy and leaving Drake forever. And no matter what Josh said, Drake needed Josh with him to make his career, hell, to make his life.
When he made it to the airport in Reno, Drake pulled his cell phone out of his pocket and hit the speed dial 2 for Josh. He practically pissed himself when Josh didn't pick up after the first ring. But, after three rings, Josh answered.
"Drake? It's like 5 in the morning, are you crazy?" he sounded like he'd just woken up.
"Am I crazy? I'm not the one marrying my on-again, off-again girlfriend!"
"Drake, I—"
"No Josh, listen to me for once. You're making a huge mistake! You and Mindy? Come on, you guys never last for more than a few months and now you want to marry her? You're going to college, man! You don't want to be married already when you're in college!"
"I have to marry her Drake, I need her."
That set Drake off. Not caring that there were dozens of people here, he started yelling, "You need her? You need her? What about me, Josh? Mindy has only been in your life here and there! I'm the one who's been with you whenever she dumped you and when you thought you loved her and when you thought she was pregnant! Dude, you need her? I need you, Josh, or do you not remember that?"
"I know, Drake, I know. I need you, too, but I—"
"You know what Josh, fuck you, okay? I don't know why I even bothered to come down here to Reno. Fuck you man." He nearly hung up, but hearing Josh's voice, that soothing voice, stopped him.
"You're in Reno? How'd you know I was here?"
"The most cliché place to elope man," Drake said, calming down a bit from just hearing Josh talk to him without any hard edge to it. Josh breathed in and Drake knew he was about to say something, but he cut him off. "Josh, please, you can't get married, it'll ruin everything!"
"What are you talking about?"
"You're already leaving in September, why are you getting married, too? Am I that much of a fuck up that you want to do everything to get me out of your life?"
"What are you talking about Drake? Look, this isn't something we should talk about on the phone. Where are you, I'll come and get you and we'll go for a ride, okay?"
Drake shuddered as he breathed in and was horrified to notice tears welling in his eyes. "Reno Stead Airport."
"Okay, I'll be there in about fifteen minutes. Stay there, okay?"
"Yeah," Drake said and hung up before Josh could say anything. He sat down in a chair away from everyone else, all of whom were slowly starting to look away from him. Drake really hated himself right now. He hated that he was crying and he hated that Josh was the only one to ever make him cry.
He started to wonder about Craig and Eric again. Craig had cried a few times that Drake knew of. Were all of those times because of Eric? Did Eric ever ditch Craig because things were getting to be too much? What about that time that Eric suddenly became popular? Was he starting to ditch Craig during that time? Yeah, he definitely was, but did he ever regret it? Drake wondered if he was going to become like Craig, but cooler.
Well, he said sadly to himself. He already was a bit like Craig. Craig was obviously very dependant on Eric. And while it worked vice versa, too, it was obvious that Craig really needed Eric more. And Drake made that publicly clear that he needed Josh more than Josh needed him. Codependency, Audrey had called it. Drake knew she thought, for Craig and Eric and her own sons, that it wasn't exactly healthy the extent that they put it, but they couldn't stop. Craig and Drake both knew that true love was pretty unhealthy in itself.
Soon, Drake looked up for the billionth time and his eyes locked on Josh's worried face. Before he could stop himself, Drake launched off the chair and tackled Josh, nearly knocking the two of them to the ground. He wanted to apologize for everything he had said in the past few days when they were fighting, but Josh stopped him.
"We'll talk in the car. Come on," he said and Drake followed him to their car in the parking lot. Josh had barely started the car when Drake started apologizing. He said how sorry he was for telling Josh that his idea for college was stupid and how he didn't mean he wanted Josh to go. He said he was sorry for making Josh feel like he wasn't wanted anymore and forced him to do something so stupid as to want to get married. He then realized he might have ruined a wedding, so he apologized for that, too.
"You didn't, Mindy and I were planning on tomorrow." Drake nodded solemnly. "I forgive you," Josh added and Drake nodded again, not sure of what to say. He'd only planned out the apology. "It's weird," Josh said finally. "I've only heard you apologize twice before, and both times was because I was out of your life."
"I need you in my life," Drake said so quietly and so seriously Josh almost missed it. "And you getting married is gonna ruin everything."
"What do you mean 'ruin everything'?"
"Every time you have Mindy with you, I get pushed aside. I feel like I'm second best to Mindy or something. And now you're gonna marry her, have her living with you and make a family with her? I'll never get to see you again if that happens! You won't be my manager anymore and everything we have will be gone." Josh pulled the car off to the side of the road and shut it off so he could look Drake straight in the eye.
"You listen to me Drake Parker, and you listen good," Josh said and Drake actually jumped at how forceful his brother sounded. "Mindy will never, and I mean never, be more important to me than you. No matter what happens to me, you will always be number one on my list of importance. No matter how much I love Mindy, I will always love you more. And I will always be your biggest supporter with everything you do, you can count on that."
Drake felt a loss of control after that. He couldn't stop the rapid flow of tears that fell from his eyes and splattered down his cheeks and onto his clothes. He tried to wipe them away, but more just kept coming. Josh moved over in the driver's seat and put an arm over Drake's rapidly rising and falling shoulders. "Shh," he said quietly, "shh, shh, it's okay Drake, its okay."
"No it's not," Drake sobbed, burying his head into Josh's sturdy shoulder. "It's never going to be. You're gonna leave still, no matter what happens, marriage or not, you're leaving!" Drake sounded like a four year old again, crying when his dad said good-bye one last time before leaving their family forever.
"Come out of the car," Josh said, letting go of the smaller boy in his arm. The two of them climbed out their respective doors and sat on the hood of the car. Instantly, Drake clung to Josh again, burying himself into the shirt that Josh had slept in, which was now wet with Drake's tears.
"I don't like change. I hate that you can't go to college closer to San Diego. Why do you have you push yourself so far away from me?" Josh didn't answer for a minute. "I'm just a fuck up, that's why, isn't it?"
"Drake, look at me," Josh said and Drake complied, his eyes red and puffy, but the tears were starting to stop. Josh brushed his thumb under Drake's eye before he said, "You're not a fuck up. You do stupid things sometimes, but you're not a fuck up. And before you say it, you're not the worst brother, either. You're the best brother I ever had."
Drake sniffed before saying, "I'm the only brother you ever had." He tried to smile but it didn't quite make it.
"Either way, you're the greatest brother I could ever ask for. And, the best friend I could ever hope to find. I love you Drake." It was that that triggered more tears out of Drake. It brought back all his bad memories of his father.
"My dad said the same thing to me when he left. Now look where we are," Drake said through his tears. And Josh understood.
"Drake, I'm not gonna leave you like your old man did. I'll be on the other coast, yes, but I'll call you all the time and come out and see you all the time. Whenever you have shows near me, I'll come and we can hang out. We won't see each other as much, but we'll still see each other."
"You're sure?" Drake said quietly as if asking any louder would make it not real.
"I've never been surer of anything else in my life, Drake," Josh said and Drake thinks that's what moved him to kiss Josh. He had meant for it to be a chaste 'thank you' kiss, but as soon as his lips touched Josh's, it was like Josh's enormous magnet was keeping them there together.
Their lips started moving against one another and their hands began wandering, looking for every spot that made the other flinch or shiver. "I need you in my life," Drake said pulling back only enough to look at Josh. "I need a constant in my fucked up life. You're the longest person to stay in my life that didn't have to."
"And I always will be. Because I want to," Josh said smiling.
"I love you, Josh," Drake said without even thinking it. He didn't know he was going to say it, but he knew he meant it. It was the first time he ever said 'I love you' to someone and adding Josh at the end made his tongue just want to always say it again.
Josh rested his forehead on Drake's and said, "I love you, too. I'm sorry I made you so upset."
"S'okay. Just...just promise me...promise you'll reconsider this marriage with Mindy?"
Josh smirked and said, "Mindy who?" Drake knew he was just joking, but he felt better anyways. The two of them laid back on the hood of the car, Josh leaving for a few minutes to call Mindy and explain as lightly as he could that they just couldn't get married. He came back and laid down next to Drake. "She's too drunk to form complete sentences," Josh said and Drake couldn't suppress his smile. The thought of Mindy drunk was too funny not to pass up. If only Drake could see her and have a camera in his hand. It would be the ultimate blackmail. "She probably won't even remember that I asked her in the moring."
"Good, 'cause it wouldn't be a wedding without me as the Best Man anyway. And no way am I letting you marry Mindy!" Drake said smiling and Josh smiled back, shaking his head good naturedly.
"So you okay now?"
"Getting there," Drake said, snuggling closer to Josh, finding his new favorite spot in the crook of Josh's elbow. Josh smiled and kissed the top of Drake's head, breathing in the scent of his shampoo. Maybe he'd only go to Virginia for a year, then look into switching to somewhere in California.
Josh used to think that the two of them were sort of like Craig and Eric. But, now he liked to think they weren't as alike as they thought. Craig and Eric were going to the same college so they could be with each other. Drake and Josh were separating from one another to make their meetings that much more meaningful. And, as Drake would say, the make-up sex would be so much better if they haven't seen each other in a while. He smiled at the thought of that despite himself. If he ever even thought about saying something like that to Mindy, she would scold him and call him immature. And, yes, it was immature, but this was Drake; maturity was way overrated.