Disclaimer: I don't Instant Star of any of it's characters.
Tommy picked up his morning paper, a small photo on the sideline immediately caught his eye. "Jude Harrison cited for Unruly Behavior (cont on page D1). He sighed, there seemed to be an unlimited amount of tabloid stories about her. The last time he'd been here all of three days for Instant Star World and had seen at least 3 new headlines each day. Now he'd been here three months, and it had slowed to three a week
Instant Star World, Tom inwardly scoffed. Sadie had immediately pushed Darius to make Tom a judge. Darius had thought having Little Tommy Q attached sounded like great press. Tom however, thought they might have also had ulterior motives. Motives involving a certain blonde disaster that had fled from Toronto to spread her wings two years ago.
Now that the show was over, and he had help find the newest Instant Star, he was working with a punk band with and old sound, in London. It was a new type of sound for him to cut his teeth on, he'd agreed simply to gain breadth in his experience. However being in London for this long had garnered him some unwanted attention, especially concerning Jude.
He hadn't seen her in the time he'd been here. He'd been careful to avoid her actually. He spent most of his time at the studio, or at his apartment. The press had left him alone after they realized he was here to work, not for Jude.
How he ended up walking her to her home at three a.m. Sunday morning, he couldn't say exactly. He'd gone to his artists' show at a dive bar, and had stayed to help breakdown afterward. The boys, as he tended to call them, had done well. It was the first time they'd played the song had helped them write, and it had been well received.
As a celebration of their tour kickoff the band had asked who they deemed "the most punk rock girls in the bar" to stick around and help christen the bus by having a celebratory drink with them, and Tom had stayed simply to insure they didn't wreck the bus before they even left London.
He'd regretted staying as soon as he saw her, standing there, taking shots with his rowdy bunch of punks. Before he could make an excuse, the band had dragged him aboard and handed him a shot.
"To Jude Harrison thinking we're kickass!" Brady shouted as he raised his shot glass.
"To Jude," everyone cried together.
Tommy took his shot and sat at the table. Watching with amusement as many more toasts were made, each toast becoming just a little more slurred. Tiring of their antics he pulled out his blackberry and made notes about the show and what he thought needed work.
"I think we're running out of alcohol," she stated as she sat heavily at the other side of the table.
"Yeah, they like their drink," Tom replied offhandedly, not bothering to look up.
After a long awkward silence, Jude said, "Tonight, I hate this fucking town."
At that Tommy's eyes finally left his blackberry to give her a questioning look.
"Look at them, supposed to be my best friends, they're going to be the death of me! I go out with them and all we do is party," Jude said as she swung her arm towards the girls who had come aboard. "They won't ever remember tonight, they never do. It seems pointless."
Tommy noticed the sad inflection of her voice, and as he finally took her in completely, he felt as though he was seeing her for the first time again. She was definitely still a pretty girl, even with the press claiming she was always falling down. He felt the old stirrings in his heart, it was difficult to remain hard hearted when she was sitting right across from him.
"Well don't just stare at me, take me somewhere!" Jude said angrily, quickly wiping away the tears that had begun to slide down her cheeks. "Take me far away from here, before I melt into the ground, and all my words get used against me."
Tom lost his train of thought at her outburst, it seemed quite lyrical, which was humorous, but also tragic. He assumed melt into the ground met passed out, and the words were the all the tabloid stories. He stood with a small smirk at the way lyrics always seemed to fall from her lips. He helped her up and they left the bus, the others not noticing their absence. The further they got from the bus the heavier her sobs became.
He sighed, if there were any paparazzi camped anywhere nearby, they would have a field day with this.
"Quit crying your eyes out," he said more harshly than he had intended, cursing himself under his breath.
She looked up at him suddenly, her anger quite obvious, "Who are you to be telling me what to do?!"
"Jude, isn't this all very familiar?" Tom asked tiredly as she broke away and stood just out of reach, leaning against a wall for stability. He waited as she dried her tears, waiting to catch her if she fell.
"Tom Quincy! Little Tommy Q! Here in London," she marveled drunkenly while pushing away from the wall, back toward him. He quickly moved to hold her upright.
"You know I hate that," Tommy murmured as he steered her toward his car. Opening the passenger's door, he helped her into the car and buckled her in before shutting the door. He walked around the back and took several calming breaths before opening the car door, she was being fair, she was being far too familiar.
"Are you here to get me back?" Jude asked with a yawn when he got into the drivers seat.
Gripping the steering wheel a bit tightly. He turned the key and listened as it roared to life. He continued to stare straight ahead as he revved the engine, warming it. He loved his classic Porsche. It had been a gift from Darius to sweeten this London deal.
Tom sighed heavily, he turned to face Jude to answer he question. He was grateful that she seemed to have fallen asleep.
He drove silently. Not wanting to turn on his stereo and wake her. He cursed his luck for bringing her to him tonight. He had really hoped to avoid her, until he died. His reverie was broken when she roused from sleep.
"I've been waiting for you to come after me, you know?" Jude revealed, as though she were speaking only seconds after her last statement rather than minutes.
"Is that right?" Tom asked sarcastically while getting out of the driver's seat. He jogged around to help her out of his beloved car. Looking around her neighborhood, he remembered her excitement when London had called and offered her every young rocker's dream. Sadie had described the neighborhood often enough, and had given him her address, just in case. He didn't think this is what she had in mind.
"But now you're here! And we can begin again! This time we are not giving up. This time let's make it last forever," she said a little to loudly as they walked down the street. She was holding tightly to his arm, and he was trying not to let her stumble.
"Lofty plans," he mumbled as they continued to walk down the empty street.
"I'm serious Tommy, we have nothing but time now, my album is done, I've toured the world. I can come home now. Please tell me we'll make it last this time," Jude pleaded, stopping and swaying heavily as she spoke.
"Whatever you say Jude, let's just get you inside," Tom said dismissively, as he again helped her to remain her upright while moving forward.
"I want us to get married, and move into a big house, with a studio of course," Jude rambled as they walked.
Tom grumbled an agreement.
"And then we'll have kids, they'll have your dark hair and the bluest eyes, and they'll be the best of both of us," Jude continued her drunken rant.
"Sounds great," Tom nodded as they reached the apartment she occupied. "Do you have your keys?"
"Of course!" Jude said as she thrust the keys toward him. They had been attached to her belt loop.
"Great," Tommy began trying keys and finally found the front door key.
Jude stumbled indoors and plopped down on the floor to remove her knee high boots.
Standing awkwardly at the door, Tommy said, "Well goodnight then."
"Tommy don't leave me," she pleaded from the floor, looking pitiful.
"Jude, I can't do this," Tommy said as the pain in his eyes became readable.
"Just don't leave me, not tonight," Jude asked as she stood shakily.
Tommy could never resist her, tonight seemed no different, "Fine, let's get you to bed."
Jude mumbled incoherently as she tugged at her boots.
Tommy looked away to survey the apartment. It was classic Jude. Black, red, and white seemed to be the color scheme, modern. There was a full bar that looked well stocked, an entertainment center littered with various movies and video games, and a kitchen that looked as though nothing had ever been used outside of the microwave.
Turning to remark on her home, he saw her sleeping uncomfortable against the door. Sighing as he picked her up. He carried the now unconscious Jude slowly up the stairs, taking care that her body didn't collide with anything along the way. At the top of the stairs he found himself in a hall, a small hall with four doors. Sighing, he adjusted Jude so he could open doors with one hand. Starting with the closest one he found a small room crowded with several shelves filled with vinyl albums and an old, worn couch. The acoustic guitar in the corner spoke volumes.
The next door he pushed open revealed a guest bedroom, evidenced by the obvious lack of use. The bed was neatly made and there were towels on the set of drawers, it was attached to a small bathroom. He briefly wondered who, if anyone, had slept in that bed, and why she'd bothered with it if it had such little use.
Crossing the hall, he opened the third door. Immediately noting that it had been sound proofed. He quickly analyzed the set up, it was obvious she did some very rough recording in that room, but the equipment was good and set up in an usual way. Feeling he'd stumbled into something far too personal, he quickly shut the door.
Finally he opened the last door and was hit was an odd sense of nostalgia at the familiarity of the room. There were posters, but now they were framed. There were also plenty of pictures scattered throughout the room. Photos of her and Sadie, Jamie, SME, and other people he didn't know. There were also open journals littering the floor, as though she'd been searching for old lyrics. The bed was unmade, of course. Her clothes were strewn anywhere and everywhere. He carefully stepped over everything and laid her on her bed.
He covered her with a blanket. Staring at her for a few minutes, he wondered how different life would have been had she stayed or at least called him. Now he was stuck in a life he knew was good but didn't feel good about. Sure he knew everything about how to sell an artist, how to make them sound good and bring out their unique sound. But he could never feel as good as he did when Jude was his artist, his friend, his girl.
She rolled over, and he recovered himself. He went downstairs and picked up her purse. He found her cell phone, noting that it was much more trendy than the simple one she used to have. He also found a small bottle of aspirin. Placing them both in his coat pocket he went to the kitchen. Checking cabinets he founds a variety of dishes and finally the glassware he'd been searching for. Filling a glass with water he made his way back upstairs. Placing the phone, the glass, and the aspirin on her night table, he decided it was time to leave.
Taking one last look at her, at her room, at the way she slept with the troubled expression, he sighed as he sat down at the foot of the bed.
"It's hard seeing you like this Jude. There was always that fire inside of you, and I know it's still there, but you have to let go of this idea of us... all we do is hurt each other. That's all on me, but we're too selfish and our love is too strong. We want all or nothing, and that's why we're going to have to move on."
Tommy felt like he was rambling, but this had been something he needed to get off his chest. Even across the Atlantic he'd had trouble writing this down. Now he was saying what needed to be said, but it didn't feel right. The idea of never having her again hurt.
"Jude, why do you do this to me," Tommy sighed. Leaving the room, he shut the door as quietly as possible. Running a hand through his hair as he made his way downstairs, he exhaled loudly as he reached the outside world.
AN: So that was my story. I've been sitting on it for awhile. But... New Year, new opportunities. I've decided to release all the stories I've written in all fandoms. So let me know what you think of this one, reviews are highly appreciated. I'll do my best to reply to you.