Castiel was an angel of the lord. It wasn't right to say that he was above and beyond human nature, because the more time he spent on Earth with Sam and Dean he was learning more and more. With you though, things were different. Cas felt like he could stay up all night and puzzle over it and still not come to the right conclusion on just how he felt with you.
Your unwavering faith of him was like the brightest beacon that could light any dark sky, setting it ablaze with the colors of your trust of him. He always came to your call, no matter what he was dealing with, because he felt a tugging in his gut every time your words brushed across his mind.
" I need you Cas." you'd say, your words alone caressing him and pulling him in tight. You always reward the faithful, he reminded himself of that on the daily when he found himself watching over you more frequently. Your shadow had a pair of wings and your enemies had an angel blade in their back. Cas didn't want to admit it, but he revered you in almost the same way you revered him. Was that blasphemous?
" She's something isn't she?" Dean said when he caught Cas staring at you. He couldn't help it really, you truly were. There were a lot of definitions of the word, but every time he thought of it, he came back to you. Castiel couldn't explain the way that his hands itched to touch you, lifting of their own accord, but he couldn't let himself, no.
" Yes. She is." Cas agrees, feeling the weight of conflict heavy on his shoulder.
" Why don't you just go after her. You angels can get down and dirty, right?"
" I'm sorry, I don't understand?" Cas's brows knit together in a tight line of frustration.
" The pizza man Cas. The pizza man, remember?" The corner of the older Winchester's mouth twitching, reminding the angel of the scene he had viewed on the computer.
" Would she want that?" Cas asks, never having thought to entertain the notion.
" You could always ask. Go get 'em tiger." Dean gives him a shove in your direction. He follows you down the hallway, your nose in an ancient book of lore that you had picked up from the library, blocking the world out around you.
" I need to talk to you." Cas states, calling your name.
Lying the book page down on the table so that you wouldn't lose your place, you look up at your feathered friend. Dark hair offset crystal blue eyes, his face the pure picture of concern. He always had so much on his mind, you wondered if he'd ever take a break and just let loose….if that was even something that angels did. He was really the only one that you had met and cared for.
" What's up?" you ask, searching his face. His handsome face clouding over as you got near, causing a flutter in your gut. No matter how many times you told yourself that he was an angel and he would never think of you that way, it didn't change the way that you reacted to him.
" Are you interested in sex with me? " his straight forward bluntness caught you off guard, causing you to cough in surprise.
" Cas, tell Dean that's not funny." You try to keep from rolling your eyes even though you could feel your skin tingling with every second he stared at you.
" I believe some of you call it making love, if that term is more appealing to you." your eyebrows raise to a dangerous degree.
" Castiel?" you question. The only thing that he think of is the way that you always say his name like that, falling off your tongue so easily, and suddenly he wants to kiss.
He doesn't answer you, simply grabs you by the waist and anchors you in. When you're satisfactorily secured in his arms, he presses his lips to yours experimentally. The taste of the leftover pecan pie still on his lips, soft on yours. Your sigh goes unsupressed, your hands reaching to cup his cheek with your eyes closed tightly.
When he breaks the kiss you're afraid to open your eyes and see the lack of emotions running through those cool blues. What angle is he playing at? If you found out Dean was behind this, you would kick his ass. There was a line that was crossed, and that line was crossed ten times over with this.
When your eyes finally do open, you're taken aback. Instead of apathy you're met with a want-filled oceans gaze that was raking over your face. The world started to fall out of place, and nothing else mattered but burying your hands underneath that beige raincoat and pulling him to you again for a repeat.
" Cas…did you want to do that?" you ask, out of breath, eyes wide, looking up at him for reassurance.
" Since the moment you said my name in prayer. I always have." Cas admits, and it was the truth. For the third time, your lips meet in perfect harmony and for a second you've forgotten that he's anything but corporal and real, totally wholly man holding you close. At least for the moment.
" I want more..I don't…" his expression almost pained as he pulls away from you, looking at you helplessly. Breathing heavily, your hands still tucked inside his coat, you try to clear the fog that's fallen on you.
" You want to…." you motion towards the bed, your breath catching in your throat as you ask him what you've always wondered about. The truth of the matter, you've had more than a soft spot for the brooding angel. He was everything that you'd ever wanted. He was strong, resilient, smart, and dedicated. It didn't matter if he wasn't so versed on how things worked down here, he still did his best always.
" Yes. I'd like that." he admits, shrugging out of his coat. Folding it carefully, he lies it on the night stand and looks at you for guidance.
" Cas, I've never done this before." you admit, top teeth scraping absentmindedly against your bottom lips. The nerves were setting in, causing tension to expand your chest with your breaths.
Walking closer to you, he strokes his hands through your hair. That had always been his thing, sometime that he had done when you needed comfort. This was no different but there was an edge to it.
" We'll figure it out together, okay? I promise you." he says your name softly, undoing his tie and letting it fall to the ground. With each button of his shirt, you grew a little more nervous. By the time he stepped out of his pants, you were wondering if this was the right choice. Cas took your hand in his, lying it right above his heart.
" When I think of you, it warms me here. No matter where you are, what you're doing…you're always right here to me." the sincerity which he spoke, the seriousness in his eyes; you knew then that it was the right choice.
Undressing, you stood before him with nothing on but your underwear, praying that what he was seeing would be up to his standard. You had never really thought about angel standard in comparison with humans.
He says your name like a silent prayer, " You're absolutely beautiful." instinctively, as if he always had known, he pulled you onto the bed and stared down at you, taking you all in.
He had always loved you and he was going to prove that to you right now. His lips coasted along your skin, kissing every inch they came across. You could feel his hot breath against your chest, then lower on your stomach where he smoothed one hand down.
Tracing two fingers along your naval with the back of his knuckles, he gazed at you, adoration coloring his feature.
" You're perfect. I could kiss you all over for all the time." he said, a smile making an appearance. Ruffling a hand through his dark hair, you brought down to kiss you. His hands were gentle but there was an urgency that you could tell he didn't understand. You barely understood it yourself.
It was like every molecule in your body rose to be met with his touch. Your head sung with his praises, coming out at random as you urged him on. You weren't exactly sure what pinnacle you were reaching towards, but with Cas where you felt the most safe, you knew it would be okay.
His nails gingerly ran down your thighs and you felt a shudder throughout your entire body, clutching onto Cas's neck. He positioned your legs so that he could fit between them, trying to give himself more room to be close to you. You tensed underneath him in anticipation but you quickly realized that whatever Cas had been trying to do, it hadn't been exactly what you were thinking.
The second let himself fall into the cradle of your hips, a deep hiss sounded through his teeth. A low moan escaped your lips as you clutched the blanket as his hard length brushed up against you. The unfamiliar territory and the intimacy of it left you out of sorts. His hand gripped you tight, and he looked down to make sure that you were alright, brushing a hand through your hair to double check.
" Was that supposed to happen?" He breathes, perplexed.
" Yes Cas. I think it is." you murmur to him, running your thumb over his stubbly cheek.
Despite the fact that this was incredibly new to him, Cas had a bound and determined look etched on his face. His confidence inspired the same in you. With unsteady hands you ran your palm down the length of his chest, past his hips, to the hardened length of him. Wrapping your hand around him, you experimentally stroked him. With his eyes squeezed shut, you enjoyed being the one to make him cry out, desperate for more. With your name on his lips, he carefully pulled away from you.
" I..I can't. Not that yet, I want to take care of you." concern wracking his voice and his conscious.
" I am taken care of. I'm here with you and -"
He stilled one hand on your thigh and with the other, his fingertip grazed you intimately. A heat warmed your body, you'd never really been touched like that before, it had never really got that far before. There was always something that had happened, some circumstance rearing it's head.
" Yes. As I thought." he said more to himself. Your reaction was enough for him to know that he was on the right path. Every little hitch of your breath and the way that you squirmed underneath him….it came naturally for him to want to make it happen again and again.
As he explored your body, he understood why Dean was the way he was. Not necessarily the several partners aspect, you were more than enough for Cas…but there was something so strong and right about being in charge of taking care of you in all ways.
" I'm going to take care of you." Cas promised, his voice rougher even than normal.
He may not inherently know why his stomach dropped whenever you grabbed his wrist, your panting harsh without a rhythm or reason, your hips rolling closer to his hands while he rubbed your heat, but he could tell it was because these feelings, seeing you like this, was the most intense thing he had ever done. He had been everywhere in the world, seen so many sites in Heaven as well as on Earth, but no site would be as precious to him as you looking up at him with such love and adoration, respect and trust, with your hair fanned out on the pillow, with it being his hands on you that were giving you this pleasure.
He knew that whatever you had been reaching for, you had found. Her nails dug into his wrist and a tremble rocked your body, his name tumbling out of your mouth. Cradling you into his arms, his downy feathers, wrapping around the two of you to keep you snug and warm.
" Thank you. Thank you for letting me have you like this." Though his body ached in a way that he hadn't known it could, he felt at peace. He could ignore the dull throb between his hips if it meant that you had "gotten off" as Dean had called it. He wasn't good with terminology, but from what he had heard, it seemed accurate.
" Cas, we're not done yet." You spoke gently in his ear, nuzzling your nose against the hollow behind it.
Once again your hands were on the downward path, every brush of your fingers against his skin, and Cas felt like he was coming alive. The slow building fire that he had felt since he had laid his hands on you, was mounting. Unsure exactly what he should feel or expect, he just let himself over to you. If you could trust him so completely, then he could do the same for you.
Even though he expected your hands to go where they did, he was caught off guard by the way he twitched involuntarily in your hands. Was it always like this? So intense and on edge?
" I think so." you answered, he hadn't even realized he had spoken out loud.
With your hand still wrapped around him, you guide him to you. Once again the warm of you is around him. A flush covers your skin and he tries so hard to concentrate on your face, to tell you how lovely you look underneath him, even if nearly everything he can think about is the way he feels with that part of him gently prodding at your center.
" We'll go slow okay? I..I'll need some time to adjust." your words are tentative, like your trying to figure it all out yourself . Cas wishes that he knew the right words to say to silence your doubts.
" I understand. I will be gentle with you…you are the most precious thing to me and I wouldn't…I couldn't live with myself it I hurt you."
You help him ease inside you, guiding him where he needs to be and then letting him take over. Your sharp intake of breath audible as you shift to accommodate him. He braces himself on the bed, sheets bunched in his fists. Inch by inch he sinks into you and you can feel it.
Cas is worried, legitimately worried. He knows that you're body is working to cater to his much larger frame, but he can feel his body shaking with a resolve about to break. You fit around him to perfection, hot as sin. It was all he could do not to give in to the urges of his body, divulging himself into the inviting curves of your body.
" Are you alright?" Cas asks, on edge. This was a calculated torture, that brought pleasure, nothing could compare.
Your hand is clutching his forearm so tightly that your knuckles are white. He's worried that maybe he hurt you, you were awfully quite underneath him. Looking down at your eyes, he searches them for any sign of regret or pain that you may be having, but his intentions are lost whenever you arch into him.
His body responded in kind, meeting with yours as hips rocked into each other. Your legs wrapped around his hips, one hand slightly scoring into his back, and the other tangling in the feathers of his wings. The feeling of euphoria settling in, the delicious friction climbing to epic proportions.
" I love you." he chants in your ear, because it's the truth. Holding your soft, feminine body against his own, united by your bodies, it transcended that. This act forged a bond between you two mind, body, and soul. He knew that long after he had left you, he would still be able to taste you on his tongue, feel your smooth skin underneath his fingertips, hear the sound of your pleasured moans signing in his ears, and when he closed his eyes he would only see you moving underneath him, lost in him.
" I love you too." you echo back, thick with so many emotions.
You were simply his everything, and he had no idea how much he understood that until you two had given up yourselves to each other. He had wanted to deny it because it hadn't seemed like it could possibly be…but here and now, his mind was opened with a clarity.
He found his release shortly before you did, burying his face into your hair, while he tried to catch his breath. He did not want to leave the snugness of your body, but he did reluctantly so that his weight wouldn't be a burden on you, folding you into his arms. Brushing sweaty locks away from your face, he stares down at your face.
Wrapping one of his wings around you like a blanket, you give him a reassuring smile, one that you felt emerge from the very center of your chest.
" Was that what you were hoping for?" he asked you.
" Cas, it was with you so it was more than I was hoping for."
" I feel the same. I didn't expect it to be so intense or passionate. Dean's movies make it look so…whats that expression he uses? Cut and dry."
It took a lot of strength and resolve not to laugh at the notions that Cas probably had about sex thanks to whatever horrible adult movie Dean had saved on his laptop.
" Well. We'll just have to see what happens next time then won't we?" you stifle a yawn, shifting closer to the angel who on reflex was already snuggling you closer.
" Next time?" he paused, the implication not lost on him.
" Yeah, Cas. Next time." You do laugh this time, eyes slowly coming to a close.
The angel went absolutely still, mind working hard to process what you said, but you were already slipping farther into sleep, a content smile on your face.