AN: This is the story I originally plan, instead of the one-shot I made earlier. It will have a completely different plot. Obviously a LOT longer. The first part of this chapter is the same as in the one-shot, that's about it.

I don't own this. It's Stephenie Meyer's.

Shock overwhelmed me that I wasn't aware that he was already out of my sight. When I realised he was gone, panic took over shock in an impulse, and I strenuously tried to search for him, running towards the direction of the breeze, only to stumble upon a root of a tree after only a few meters. I looked hopelessly all around me, realising no matter how fast I could run, even without my two left feet, I wouldn't have been able to catch him up. He was gone, and there was no stopping him.

I replayed the scene a hundred times in my head, slow motion on some important parts, studying all the emotions and his facial expressions that were attached to them. By now I had memorised the whole sequence, I could even play it backward. I don't want you to come with me... I'm not human... You're not good for me... Goodbye, Bella... It will be as if I'd never existed. It was like there was a 'rewind and play' programmed in my head which was stuck on infinite loop.

Don't do anything reckless or stupid... I paused and rewound. It was the same overprotective eyes that stared back at me, not the distant, cold ones like he put on throughout the rest of the conversation. In that instant, he was Edward the way he registered himself in my mind. I must have turned crazy. Was I over-analysing the whole thing, that I began to plant a seed of hope that he purposely put on that cold façade? I replayed the whole scene again from the beginning, gripping tight to that new angle, that seed of hope, searching for any other clue I had missed.

Of course, I'll always love you... in a way. I couldn't see his expression when he said that words, but he was definitely looking away then. Was it just a coincidence that he didn't meet my eyes, or was it because he was trying to hide his real emotions, afraid that I could see them in his eyes?

I rewound more to our less recent conversations. How he repeatedly said he loved me and my existence was his sole reason to live, in so many words. How was it possible that his feelings changed so dramatically that he did not want me anymore? The seed of hope grew as my analysis went deeper.

I pondered on my new revelation. He was determined to leave me and I couldn't have done anything to stop him. Even if I saw through him then, he would have managed to convince me, to un-dazzle me, if necessary. By word or by force. Was there really nothing I could do? Suddenly I felt so powerless, and insecurity as my first natural instinct washed through me. What if I was wrong? What if his feelings had truly changed, and I was holding on an unfounded hope? My body went numb coming back to the same conclusion as I was at the beginning, to believe each word he said, as I always did.

No. I decided that it hurt me more to think like that. I simply couldn't go on living without him. I should nurture that seed of hope, even if it meant I was being delusional. I'd rather be delusional than dead. I had always been an expert in repressing bad memories, so this too shouldn't be a problem. As long as I kept my focus.

Focus, now. My seed of hope. To give it a chance, I should know the reason behind his act. Why did he lie?

He was incredulously notorious in putting me in his foremost priority, above all else, above himself most definitely, so this act must have been about me. To protect me? From what? His brother's potential attack upon smelling my blood? That sounded so trivial to me and knowing Edward, he would have come up with a number of solution for that problem without involving him leaving. I kept racking my brain for potential problems, but none of the scenarios fit. I should look at it from a different angle. What benefit did he think I'd get if he was no longer exist? I shook my head. None whatsoever. As far as I'm concerned, my life was meaningless without him, and he should know it. He should, but did he really know how much I feel for him? Did he think I could go on living my life without him, moving on, as if I had never met him? Did he? Silly Edward. That was plausible, the only reason that fit his masochistic character. This was his gift for me, a second chance of life, to free myself from him, from his kind, and the complexity of our relationship. A very thoughtful gift, to my best interest to his best knowledge. A gift that I didn't want, and I wanted to return it. Yes. I need to find him. But how?

I looked around to find myself surrounded by darkness. I didn't know how long I had gone, and Charlie must have been home hours ago. I needed a clearer brain to think this through, and this was certainly not the place. I walked back to the approximate direction of the house, with more upbeat feelings than when I started running to find him. I had hope. With that positive mind, I tried to control my fear, to find my way out in the dark. I could see a light, and felt relieved when I realised I wasn't that far away from the trail, and when I could see the trail, I would see the end of it. I walked faster when I was on the trail, and I almost run to the house.

When I got to the house, I saw Charlie on his cruiser sitting on the driver's seat, with his door open. He had left the front door open too.

"Charlie!" I almost sprinted towards him. It was a miracle that I didn't stumble upon my own feet. "What's wrong?"

He got out of the car and he looked so relieved when he saw me. "Where have you been, Bella? You got me so worried!"

"I'm sorry. I... went hiking and got lost. It became dark and difficult to find my way back..."

He hugged me before I could finish.

"Where's Edward?" Charlie asked, holding me on my both shoulders, looking around.

"Why? Why are you asking about Edward?" I was alarmed. What did he hear? Did Edward inform Charlie that he was leaving?

"Wasn't he with you? You wrote me this note, Bells, saying you were with Edward..."

I saw the crumpled note in his hand, and I smiled. Another proof that he still cared. "Yes, I was with him earlier, but he left before I went hiking."

"Don't you scare me like that again, Bella. You should at least tell me when you want to go hiking, I could come with you."

"Sorry that. Never again, I promise, Dad."

After Charlie made sure again that I was okay, I went inside to take a bath, while he sorted out the situation on his radio, to tell people that I was home. After a long bath my head was clearer, and I should not delay my plan any longer. Sitting on my desk, I found a piece of paper and started writing.

Project: Finding Edward.

Destination: Unknown.

Where in the world could he be?

I could only think of one plausible place, Denali. I remember he went there last time when he was trying to avoid me. If he wasn't there, at least the people there could give me pointers. But where exactly or approximately in Denali? I didn't even know their last names to start looking for them in the phone book.

Was there anyone who could help me? Anyone who would know of his whereabouts? Anyone in his family would know, but I bet by now they had evacuated the house, and knowing the Cullens, they would have been meticulous, leaving no trace behind. Private investigator? Like that would help.

Could Alice help? Maybe, I should start thinking about harming myself, and actually believing in it. Maybe that might work. Maybe if she would come to my aid if she had seen trouble coming my way.

I didn't know how I manage to fall to slumber land that night, because my head was full with different possible ways I could harm myself as an attempt to re-connect with Alice. I felt sick, but if this could help, even though it meant I would break my final promise to Edward, it must be well worth it. But he might or might not lie, and I might or might not harm myself, so we were sort of even. When I finally fell asleep, my dream was dreadful, I was lying on a dark alley, bloodied and dying. I tried to scream for help but I could not hear my own voice. No one came to help.

*

I woke up alone, drenching in sweat although the blanket and the covers were nowhere near my body. It felt really numb waking up without him snuggling close to me. As much as I had believed he still loved me, he did leave, a few hours ago, which felt like eternity already. I miss him… I cried when the pain from the loss suddenly washed over me. I felt empty, like something was missing. My heart. Like it had been taken out completely out of its place. I knew then I couldn't continue being like this without him, I couldn't survive without doing something to bring him back into my life.

I went back to my thinking process from last night. I had thought all the worst possible way I could to end my life, and actually believed in it to trigger an alarm in Alice's vision. Why didn't that work? Was she busy keeping watch on something else? Was she purposely blocking me from her vision? Did she simply not care about me? I rubbed my eyes to remove the fresh new tears that had threaten to fall.

I decided to give her time. Meanwhile I should check on their house, see if it was still standing. It will be as if I'd never existed, he I still be able to find it? What about the hospital? The school? Did they take all the cars? A dozen other questions started to drag a string of possibilities. If I wanted a chance in finding him, I must not miss the tiniest detail.

*

It had been a week since Edward left. School had been both torturing and a mental escape. Torturing because well, his disappearance was a constant reminder of how much I miss him. On the flip side, it provided me… what was his word for it? Oh yes, distraction. Something else to concentrate other than this overwhelming feeling of longing for him.

My visits to the Cullens' house had provided me with no further clue. It was still there, standing tall, with all the curtains drawn shut. I contemplated in breaking into the house, but I knew being Cullens, they must have been meticulous and leaving no trace behind anyway. The post box had previously been emptied. I had made subsequent visits daily to check the post box, but there weren't anything there other than junk mail.

I tried calling his phone numerous times, only to be greeted by his voicemail prompt. I left messages asking, pleading, even threatening him to call me, but he never called back.

After a few days of bribing Mrs. Cope with home made lunch, sweets, cookies and cakes, I could coaxed her into giving me printed details of Edward's previous school records. I told her I wanted to contact his old school for a possible reunion plan, a surprise gift for him. A little bit far fetched, but she bought it anyway. As soon as I looked at it, I knew it was a made up record. There was no way he could have gone to school in Los Angeles. But I still kept it with me, because it had listed some primary school in Alaska.

After getting his school records, I decided against looking at Carlisle's record in the hospital. One, I bet those stuff were strictly confidential. I had no connection in that hospital whatsoever. Two, even if I manage to get it, it could have been a made up one. Three, it was too risky and might arouse suspicions. I didn't want Charlie to find out about any of this.

I was coming back from yet another fruitless trip from the Cullens house, when my truck suddenly made a loud banging noise and jerked to a stop. After a few unsuccessful attempts of restarting it back to life, I panicked. It was in the middle of the path in the woods, quite far away from the suburban road, let alone the highway. I opened the door and stepped out, trying to decide what to do with it. Opening the hood shouldn't do any harm, should it? But I would have no clue what to make of anything under it. Then I heard the thunder, I look up I saw the dark clouds were hanging low in the sky, just my luck.

"You're Isabella Swan, right?" A voice I didn't recognise startled me.

I turned around. The face looked familiar. I tried to remember where I could have seen this guy, but I still couldn't.

Seeing my hesitance, he elaborated, "Isabella Swan? Chief Swan's daughter, right? My name is Sam. Sam Uley." He walked closer to the front of the car, when he asked, "Trouble with the truck?"

I nodded. Still couldn't remember him. His voice now sounded familiar too.

He opened the hood and took a good look at it, then he held out one hand to me and started to punch some numbers on his phone.

"Jacob? I need you to come pick me up on the trail near the Cullens'. Bring tow straps. I need to tow your old truck…. Yes… Well as a matter of fact she's here with me."

AN: So what do you think? Should I continue?