A/N 1- This was written as a prompt fill for the OhSam Comment Fic Meme (See the prompt below)
A/N 2- I really aimed for this to be a short story, but I just. couldn't. stop. as the ideas came... I really have no excuse for how long this short story has turned out... :/
A/N 3- If you haven't seen any of Season 7 then steer clear or read at your own risk...
Original Prompt:
Season 7, gen or wincest: Sam's not lying when he says it's not that bad. It's not, because he can't let it be that bad. Because Dean is falling apart, drowning in alcohol and despair, and he wouldn't be able to deal with Sam falling apart as well.
The thing is, not falling apart is damn hard with the devil in his head, flashbacks and nightmares and an increasing need for self-inflicted pain to tell what's real. It would be much easier to just let go and let Dean take care of him, but he can't do that because he needs to take care of Dean instead, who doesn't want help but also can't deal on his own.
Dean doesn't notice what his issues are doing to his brother. He needs someone else to kick his ass into awareness and tell him to get a grip or he'll have another major issue to deal with soon.
Sam is sitting at the table in Bobbys kitchen as he looks through articles online for a hunt 'it'll be something to keep us busy for a few days', he nurses the cup of coffee in his left hand, wincing as his bruised knuckles protest when he wraps his hand around the handle 'shouldn't have kept punching that damn wall' he thinks idly. Two years ago he'd have voluntarily signed himself into an institution for thinking like this, now he find that he can't bring himself to care, he successfully passed the injury off as 'jammed my damn hand in a door'anyway, and Dean had believed him. He uses his right hand to rub over his face and then up to sweep the hair from his face, hoping to wipe away some of the lethargy that he's felt slowly building again for the last couple of days, needless to say it doesn't work, he might try a few cans of Red Bull and some energy pills in a while. It's the same routine that he's gone through for the last few months until his body can't take anymore and forces itself to sleep. It's too early for that yet, he know that he has at least another day and a half to go yet. Besides, he can't face sleeping and the nightmares yet, he can't let Dean see how bad they still are right now, not when his brother is like this, not when he needs to be strong for Dean. As his hand moves back down he looks at the bandage that makes itself visible by peeking out from under the cuff of his shirt, he quickly tucks it back under - he makes sure to keep his shirt sleeves down and buttoned now - he can't risk having to explain about the numerous scars and scabs decorating his arms right now, maybe not ever...
He's trying hard to ignore the figure standing in the far corner next to the door, knowing that he'll have to deal with him eventually when he wants to actually leave the kitchen, but he's not planning on doing that for a while, at least not until Dean wakes up from his whiskey induced oblivion that forced him to collapse onto the couch. Sam really can't face another loud discussion with Dean about how he doesn't need help, about how he's "coping fine with Cas dying and with the whole damn world collapsing on it's ass around us again".
Sam bows his head, breathing away the grief for the situation that they are in. As he looks up Lucifer appears a little closer this time, Sams mind seems to have decided that he will play this game right now, not later. "Aw come on Sammy, you can't ignore me all night"the hallucination says as a smug grin appears on his face.
"Yeah I can, and that's exactly what I'm gonna do" Sam replied quietly as he returned his gaze to the laptop.
"You might be able to think you can just switch off when I talk, and maybe you are getting good at..." he takes a deep sympathetic breath as he looks the floor then back to Sam before continuing "... but can you switch off when I do this?" As the hallucination finishes speaking Sam feels a heat run through his body before it turns icy cold, he can see his breath coming out in little puffs of steam. "Or what about when I remind you of all those times we go to know each other so well, when I cut you up into a million little pieces, or when I convinced you that you'd gotten out, that you were with Dean?"
"Stop it. This isn't real" Sam says as he brings his left hand to the most recent wound on his right arm, digging in deep, not caring that the blood seeps through to his shirt sleeve. The ice and the cold clear, and he's back in Bobbys kitchen.
"You know what the sad thing is Sam?" Lucifer asks in a regretful tone, sorrowful and almost pitiful gaze trained on Sam "No matter how much I did to you, no matter what I used to make you think that you'd got out? It wasn't anything compared to this" He sighs and smirks slightly as he says "And that's what really get you isn't it? Things have gotten so bad here that sometimes, even if I'm not here... you can't tell where you really are"
Sam wouldn't be spoken to like that by the actual Lucifer, and damn if he will let his own mind air these ugly truths in the form of Lucifer. "That's a lie" he says, as much to convince himself as to convince the fallen angel who isn't really in the room with him. "You're not real" he says more loudly and confidently this time.
"S'mmy... who y' talkin' to?" Dean mutters from the couch and Sam mentally kicks himself for speaking so loudly.
"Oh, uh... no-one Dean" Sam says, hoping that Dean will think he was just dreaming.
"Nu-uh Sam, I heard you" Dean doesn't let it drop as he pulls himself up to look over the back of the couch at Sam.
'Please let it go Dean'Sam silently pleads as he tries think up an excuse that Dean will believe. "I was just practicing the exorcisms, been a while since we've used them, can't get rusty can we?" he says
Lucifer stands beside him now with a hand on his should as he comments "Ooohh good one"and winks. Sam scowls and looks back to the sitting room as Dean stands up from the couch and stumbles into the kitchen.
"Oh, yeah. Good Sammy." Dean mumbles, and before Sam can roll his eyes Dean quickly adds "Yeah yeah I know... It's Sam" a little clearer this time.
Dean stumbles further into the kitchen and pours himself a glass of water, using the units to hold himself up as he leans against them. "You okay Dean?"
"Yeah I'm fine Sam" Dean answers in the now familiar tone to Sam, which also carried a hint of 'let's not go there'. He pushes himself off the unit as he says "I'm gonna go to bed now, get some proper sleep".
"It's only ten pm Dean" Sam comments lightly.
Dean stops and turns to look at his brother and asks "Yeah? So?" in a manner which really turns it more into a determined statement than a question.
"Nothing I was just saying" Sam responds quietly, he knew he should just have let Dean be. Lucifer has gone back to standing in the corner of the kitchen, smiling at Sam with an expression that says 'See? You know I'm right.'Sam glares at the hallucination and turns back to look at his brother who is now staggering across the kitchen to the doorway. About halfway across, the glass slips from Deans hand, sending water and glass splashing all over the floor. Sam stands up silently and they both move towards the kitchen towels.
"Fuck!" Dean yells as he steps on one of the pieces of broken glass. Sam flinches slightly at Deans yell. There's blood already coming from the cut.
"Go into the living room, I'll come patch it up in a minute once I clean this up" Sam tells his brother, and to his surprise Dean obeys. It's just another sign of much things have changed, Dean would never have accepted help from anyone unless it was something life threatening or very serious, like a gunshot or a knife wound. He grabs the first aid kit and follows Dean into the living room, noting that Dean has already pulled his sock off. Kneeling down in front of his brother, he notes that it's just a small cut, and it's not that deep. He wipes it over with a cleansing wipe as Dean hisses, then he puts a plaster over the cut. "All done. Why don't you go up to bed now? Get some rest?"
Dean leans forward and pats him on the shoulder as he drunkenly says "Yeah, good idea. Thanks Sammy, you're a great brother", he stands up and walks out of the room.
Sam listens to his brothers footsteps as they go up the stairs and along the wooden floor until he hears a door closing. He turns back to the kitchen, walking carefully as he steps over the water and glass, grabbing towels and picking up the broken pieces of glass. After that he gets the mop and starts wiping in the water, figuring it won't do any harm to clean the floor while he's at it - it'll keep him going for a little while anyway. He's too warm, he reminds himself to turn down the heating once he's finished mopping as he takes his shirt off to reveal his t-shirt. He figures it can't do any harm, no-ones here to see his arms right now anyway, he'll put it back on before Bobby gets home.
Just as he's finished mopping he sees Lucifer appear at his side. He grins and says "Hey Sammy" as he touches Sams shoulder and Sam is lost to a world of pain and suffering. He hears Lucifer say "Welcome back"as it all becomes too much and he can't the pain becomes one long prolonged pain...
As Bobby walks through the front door he instantly knows that something is off. He can hear the sound of someone crying coming from the kitchen and he quickly heads in that direction while thinking 'aw crap'. He sees Sam curled up against the wall holding his hands to his head, his fingers look like he's trying to dig holes in his skull. His eyes are drawn to the bandage on Sams arm, stained with red, and it's only then that he sees the rest of Sams arms, and the numerous cuts and scars that linger there. "Sam?" he gently asks as he lowers himself so that he's at the same level as Sam.
He receives a small whimper in response.
He clears his throat and tries again "Hey Sam, it's Bobby. You with me?" Sam tries to back away. Bobbys pretty sure if the wall would open and swallow him whole that Sam would let it. He reaches out lets his hand linger just above Sams knee.
Sam utters a strangled and broken "Please stop".
"Look at me Sam, you're with me. You got out son". Bobby lowers his hand so that it barely touches Sams knee. Sam stills a little and Bobby takes that as a good sign so he continues "Come on, all you need to do is look up at me and you'll see that".
Sam dares to look up at Bobby sees that he's in Bobbys kitchen, he pulls what he hopes looks like a smile at Bobby as the recognition for where he is and what he was doing comes back to him.
Bobby is taken back by the fear and hurt and the currents of emotions that were shown in Sams eye. He sadly thinks 'aw Sam"as he sees the attempt at a smile. "You wanna get up off the floor Sam? The knees ain't what they used to be" He says lightly as he pushes himself up and holds his hand out for Sam. Sam hesitantly reaches out and takes the offered hand. Bobby gently pulls Sam up and guides him into a chair. "What was that Sam?"
Sam looks like a deer caught in headlights, like he's just realized where he is and what's going on. "It was uh... just a flashback", while he's thinking 'shit'he says as he reaches into the table to grab the shirt he discarded there earlier.
Bobby touches his wrist and pushes it back, stopping him from getting the shirt. "No, you ain't hiding them anymore Sam. I want to look at them, make sure there's no permanent damage. That okay?"
Sam knows that there's no use in arguing with Bobby, and for all that he doesn't want to discuss this with anyone, he knows that Bobby is probably the only person who will possibly understand, except from Dean, and that's not an option right now. He nods and confirms "Okay".
As moves to sit beside Sam, Bobby grabs the first aid kit and as he begins a thorough examination and clean up of Sams left arm he asks "So how longs this been going on then?"
Sam sighs and looks at Bobby, expecting to see disgust at what he's been doing to himself, but all he sees is concern and maybe a little bit of hurt. "A little while..." he trails off as he sees Lucifer standing in the middle of the kitchen grinning at him. 'lt's not real'he reminds himself.
"Care be more specific there Sam?" Bobby asks as he looks up at the boy he regards as a son and then returns to examining his arm.
"It's been happening on and off since Cas... but it's gotten pretty bad over the last few weeks". Sam stops and takes a breath, buries the tears that threaten to fall and starts again "I keep having nightmares, every times I close my eyes I see Lucifer, I'm back there... even when I'm awake I see him."
"So when did you arms start getting in such a mess?" Bobby asks, knowing that there's no easy or round about way of asking the question.
Sam seems like a little put off by the bluntness of the question. He takes a minute to gather his thoughts and quietly says "About a month maybe."
Bobby finishes with Sams left arm and reports "Nothing too serious here, just shallow cuts and some small scarring" He moves round so that he can focus on Sams right arm and as he begins he asks "So, why didn't you talk to Dean about it?"
Sam shifts in his seat and says "He's been pretty busy dealing with his own stuff. Trying to process what happened to Cas and then with trying to look out for me... I didn't want to add to that. I thought that maybe if I could pretend to Dean that I had a handle on things, then I could maybe convince myself that things were alright too..." Sam trails off again.
As he starts to peel away the bandage covering Sams latest wound, Bobby finishes Sams sentence for him "...but it never worked out like that?" Sam nods in response. "Why didn't you come to me? I can't pretend what you're going through Sam, but I could have listened and tried to help."
Sam sighs regretfully and answers "I don't know Bobby. I guess I didn't want to bother either of you. Dean has his own stuff and you were always so busy researching the Leviathans and ways to stop them. What you were doing was more important than my issues." He stops what he's saying as Bobby cleans the wound on his arm.
"You stupid... you're an idjit you know that?" Bobby stops to take a breath and rephrase what he wanted to say at first. Instead of the rant he knows he would have gone on, he says "It's not more important than you cutting yourself up son. You could have done serious damage to yourself. I'm always here for you and for Dean. And I'll tell you another thing Sam, when Dean finds out... he's gonna hit the damn roof that you never told him." He looks at Sam as finishes dressing the cut.
Sams eyes widen "No, please don't tell him Bobby. I promise I'll come to you if I feel things starting to get out of control, just... you can't tell him"
"Sam, he's your brother, he does nothing but worry about you. He'll kill me if I don't tell him you know" Bobby raises his eyebrow as emphasis as he says the last part.
"That's the point Bobby. He does nothing but worry about me. He's done nothing but worry about me... I just... I want to be there for him for a change. He needs someone to help him through this, and I want to help him as much as I can." He stops and looks pointedly at Bobby, and his voice has a tone of begging in it as he says "Dean and Cas were almost like brothers, and Deans lost far too many people in his life. I want to help him through this, and I need to be the strong one for a while." There are tears forming in his eyes and he's amazed that he hasn't broken down before now. He can't hold them back and he holds his head in his hands as he lets his emotions out. Sam is surprised when he feels Bobbys arms wrap around him.
He's not happy about it, and he knows he's for a serious ass kicking if Dean ever finds out from anyone other than him, but he wants to trust Sam with this, and let Sam trust in him. He tries to calm Sam down as he pats his hand on Sams arm "Okay son. Okay... if you promise you'll come to me in future instead of messing yourself up like this then I won't tell Dean."
Sam pulls out of the hug and says "Thanks Bobby" with all the sincerity that he can muster up.
Bobby nods and says "No problem. Now why don't you try and get some sleep? It's one am now." Sam opens his mouth to protest but Bobby stops him "No Sam, that's part of our deal. You need to rest, your body needs rest so that it can heal. You won't help Dean if you're collapsing from exhaustion. I'll make you a deal, I'll come up and check on you in an hour or so, make sure you're not caught up in a nightmare, that good for you?"
Sam stands and smiles, and although he looks unsure about the sleeping thing he says "Yeah, thanks Bobby. I really mean that"
"Yeah I know son" Bobby replies fondly as Sam turns and goes up the stairs.
A few hours later, Bobby is sitting at his table pretending to research about the Leviathans, truth be told he's still reeling from the way he found Sam earlier on. Dean comes downstairs for a glass of water, walking gingerly as though he knows what's coming. He looks up from the table as Dean passes the study "Drink'll do that to you" he comments about the way that Dean is walking and holding his hand to his head. Dean shoots him a questioning glare as he passes. Bobby gets up and follows Dean into the kitchen, further commenting "You ain't doing yourself any favors boy"
Dean quickly turns to Bobby and says roughly "Oh don't you start as well. I'm handling it okay?"
Bobby angrily replies "Handling it? You call drinking yourself into a drunken stupor at least once a day handling it?" Dean opens his mouth to interrupt, but Bobby cuts him off "You call drinking yourself so blind that you can't see what's going on Sam handling it?"
"What do you mean whats going on with Sam?" Dean asks shocked, he hadn't noticed anything wrong with Sam outside of the usual hallucination and nightmare here and there. As far as he knew Sam was getting a handle on things.
Bobby knows he told Sam that he wouldn't tell Dean about what had been happening, but Sam needs Dean to there for him as much Dean needs Sam to be there for him right now. "Sit down and I'll tell you". Dean goes to the kitchen table and they both sit down facing each other. "I only discovered it myself tonight when I got back, and he made me promise not to tell you, but you need to know this. You need to help him Dean. Your brothers more messed up than either of us noticed... He ain't sleeping, you should see the bags under his eyes. And... worst of all was when I got back tonight and you were already in bed..." Bobby stops as he remembers seeing Sam curled up against the wall holding his hands to his head, remembers the mess of Sams arms, the sheer fear and vulnerability in the boys face as he lifted his head at Bobbys touch.
"Yeah?" Dean questions as he wonders why Bobby stopped.
"He was curled up on the floor over there, it was almost as though he was trying to back himself into the wall. He was holding his head in his arms... Jesus, you should have seen the mess he was in Dean. His arms are a mess, he's cut all his arms to try and stop the hallucinations." Dean feels like a bolt of lightening has struck him as Bobby carries on "I don't know how you've managed to miss it Dean... Well I do know. You've been too wrapped up in your troubles" When Dean opens his mouth to defend himself Bobby quickly explains "Hang on. What I mean is, I know you're having a hard time Dean, and no-one can take that away from you son. It's been a tough time for both you, but what I'm saying is that the drinking ain't helping either of you. You get me?"
It's easier to brush Bobbys affection, or close as Bobby gets to affection off than it is for Dean to let the concern sink in and let his feelings out. He's been bottling this up for too long, and to be honest he's afraid of what will happen when he does open up. "Yeah, um, I'll talk to him Bobby, I'll tell him to talk to me instead of hurting himself" he says as he tries to stand up and walk away from the table.
Bobby reaches out and grabs Deans arm, pulling him back into his seat. "No. We're gonna talk about what's going on, and we're gonna talk about it now, and I don't care if takes us all damn night to do it. Sams cutting himself you in some kind of desperate bid to stop you seeing what's going on with him and worrying about him." In response to the sad look that crosses Deans face, Bobby replies "I'm not judging you Dean, but you need to talk about what going on with you and you need to let it out".
"I'll talk about it when I'm damn well ready okay?" Dean answers Bobbys concern as he stands up aggressively and walks away while thinking 'please let this drop, I can't break, I need to work through this on my own.'.
Bobby catches up with Dean in the hallway and spins him round, as he says "No. You're letting this out, and your damn well letting it out tonight". He pulls Dean into a tight hug, who immediately tries to shove his way out of the hold. Bobby can feel the tension rising, and he's done this enough times to know it won't be soon before Dean breaks. He feels bad about forcing Dean to let out the feeling that he obviously feels he's not ready to deal with, but if he's gonna save both brothers, and then save the damn world, again, this needs to happen.
"Bobby let me go!" Dean practically screams, but Bobby holds tight. Dean can feel the emotion rising, he doesn't want it do, and he's not ready for this, but he can't stop it... can't push it back down like he's done so many times before. "I just..." the tears start to form and flow "I just... I can't do this anymore..." he feel his knees give way and before he knows it, he and Bobby are sitting on the floor and Bobbys still holding him tight, but he's now rubbing his back comfortingly too.
"It's okay Dean" Bobby says.
"I miss him so much Bobby" He says as he pushes out of the hold and backs himself up so he's leaning his back against the wall. Bobby follows suit and turns to face Dean. "I don't remember being this bad after dad. We've lost so many people through this, we've saved the world ... I've lost count of how many times now... I've lost count of how many people we've saved from evil, and what thanks do we get for it? Huh? Where's our big thanks? When do we get to bow out and give it up? ... And you know what? I hate myself for feeling this way..."
"It's okay to feel like that Dean. Damn if I had a dollar for every time I'd felt like that I wouldn't be living here repairing crappy cars for living" Bobby tries to comfort Dean.
"I just don't know how much more shit we're gonna have to take. Everything I touch turns to shit anyway"
"How does it?" Bobbys not sure where Dean is going with this but he's gonna damn well find out.
"Dad, Sam, Sam lost Jess because I went back for him, Pastor Jim, Ash, Ellen and Jo, Cas, Lisa and Ben to name but a few..." Dean trails off as he wipes away a stray tear, he can't handle this anymore.
"Dammit Dean, you... In this line of business it's a risk you take. Your dad, Pastor Jim, Ash, Ellen and Jo... they all knew the risks before they got involved in hunting... Sam knew the risks too of what he was doing... The demon would have found Sam and Jess regardless of whether you turned up or not you know. His path was always clearly marked on that one... Just, can you imagine what would have happened to Sam if you hadn't been there for him? Just be glad you were there to help him after it."
"Yeah I guess so..." Dean doesn't feel convinced, but he does know what Bobby is saying is true, and he's willing to try. He needs to try and move past this for Sam.
"Trust me Dean. I know it's hard, but you can't blame yourself for any of that. And as for Ben and Lisa? They're fine. You had Cas wipe their memories didn't you?" Dean nods and Bobby continues "That has to be one of the most selfless acts I've ever seen. You sacrificed one of your only safety nets so that they could both live a happy life without any knowledge of hunting... and I'll tell you something, I couldn't have done that" Dean looks stunned and he carries on "I'm being serious... I couldn't have done it."
"I know what you're saying is true Bobby, I do... and thanks for the talk, it'll take a while to sink in I guess... but I'll try. I promise I'll try and start dealing with things"
"Good. I'm glad I could knock some sense into you. Now... I want you to come to me if you need to talk or start thinking like that again, and I mean it." Bobby says sternly.
"I swear I will Bobby. Thanks" Dean says again.
"Now lets get up off this floor then and talk about your brother and what we can do for him." They both push themselves up from the floor and move from the hallway into the study. They start to talk about Sam and how best to help him. Dean resolves that he will talk to Sam in the morning about what he's been doing and that he'll make him see sense. After this, the conversation moves to the Leviathans and possible theories and ideas on how to stop them and how to get rid of them.
It turns out that Dean and Bobby are still awake in the morning, their various discussions about setting the world to rights having actually taken the whole night. Both are still in Bobbys study talking about a few possible theories/hunts when Sam comes down stairs in his pajama bottoms and his hoodie 'Arms covered again'Bobby notes to himself.
"Hey guys. You're up pretty early Dean" Sam says as he walks into the study.
Dean murmurs something that sounds like a "Yeah I know" around the sandwich that he'd prepared himself a little while ago.
Bobby stands up as he says "I gotta go take a look at this damn car. I forgot I said I'd have it fixed up today for the guy". He nods at Dean from behind Sams back, a message of 'talk to your brotherand he makes himself scarce, giving the boys time to talk things over.
"Mind if I grab a seat?" Sam cautiously asks, not sure how Deans handling his hangover this morning. He slept well last night and he feels a lot more rested, but that doesn't mean that he's ready for an argument with Dean so early in the morning.
Dean feels that it's a slap in the face that Sam even feels the need to ask if he can take a seat beside him. "Yeah man, sit down, take a load off." As Sam sits down Dean clears his throat and asks "So what's going on with you?"
"Nothing I'm fine Dean. I actually had a great sleep last night" Sam answers, hoping that Dean isn't going where he thinks his brother is going.
For the first time about a month, Dean really sees Sam, really looks at his brother. He sees the way Sam fidgets with the cuffs of his hoodie, the nervous pinched look that is on his face, how under his eyes are almost black and blue with lack of sleep, the weight that he seems to have lost, and the way he's been folded in on himself since sitting down beside Dean.
"No, Sam. Seriously. What's wrong?"
"Nothing Dean, I-I told you I'm fine" he answers while thinking 'Don't lose it don't lose it don't lose it...'
Dean grabs Sams hand with one hand and pushes the brothers sleeve up with his other, exposing the stained red bandage and the other cuts, bruises and scars that litter Sams arm. Sam stops dead and bows his head in shame. "So there's nothing going on?" Dean questions in tone that conveys way more hurt than the anger Sam expected to hear there.
Sam chokes back a sob and asks "Bobby told you?"
"Yeah, he knocked some sense into me last night when I got up for some water." The statement hangs in the air and neither of them mention the glass of water that Dean drunkenly dropped last night. Dean continues "Bobby told me because he was worried about you, and what you were doing to yourself, and what feeling like you couldn't come to me was doing to you..." Dean explains.
"I wanted to deal with it on my own..." Sam begins to try to explain and Dean interrupts.
"Sam, you shouldn't have felt like you needed to deal with it on your own. I am so sorry..."
Sam this time interrupts Dean "... Don't apologize Dean, please don't. You don't need to... You've had your own stuff to deal with too. I-I wanted to be there for you for a change. I wanted to pick up the pieces for you, you didn't need to be worrying about me on top of everything else."
Dean really doesn't know what to say. He settles for "Jesus Sam..." When Sam looks like he about to try to explain again, Dean stops him and says "I get what you're saying Sam, and I'm not denying that I've been a bit of a wreck lately, but shouldn't have had to deal with you memories on your own. You shouldn't have felt like you had to care for me or hide things from me."
"I'm sorry..." Sam trails off.
Dean picks up right away "You shouldn't be sorry Sam. What you've gone through makes what I've gone through look like a hangnail. I want you to know what no matter what's going on with me, you can always come to me. I don't want you bottling things up to the point where it makes you do stuff like this to yourself, you hear me?"
"Yeah. And I don't want you bottling things up to the point where you drink yourself to sleep every night..." Sam counters Deans point.
Both brothers sit in an easy silence for a while as they think over what they other has said, and Sam speaks first, and Dean is more than happy to let Sam to be the one to come up the suggestion. "Why don't we agree that we've both been pretty stupid over the last month...?" Dean nods but allows Sam to continue "Why don't we agree that no matter how bad things are, no matter how bad they get, that we both know that we can talk to each other about anything that's going on?"
"Sounds good to me Sammy, only if you promise to never to anything like this to yourself again?"
"I promise Dean" Sam sincerely says.
In traditional Dean style, he breaks the moment by smiling and saying "Now, since we're back to the whole sharing with each other, my stomach needs more than just a sandwich in the morning... how about you whip me up some proper breakfast?"
Sam laughs, and feels the most relaxed he's felt in long while. He stands up and says "Sure thing Dean" as he pats his brothers shoulder when he passes him on his way into the kitchen.
END...
A/N - As usual please let me know your thoughts, I really love hearing feedback and it honestly does help. It doesn't matter if you loved it or hated it!