Status: Complete
Sequel/Series: N/A
Summary: Tag for Paradise Lost. Takes place on the ride home from dropping Maybourne off at
his new home. Gang is sitting around the cargo bay of the Teltac.
Season: Six
Spoilers: Paradise Lost
Category: Episode Addition/Humour
Characters: Jack O'Neill, Sam Carter, Teal'c and Jonas Quinn.
Pairing: None
Rating: G
Warnings: None
Posted: 18/01/04
Archive: Helio, Fanfiction.net, Gateworld, SJD, Chezza's site….. If anyone else wants it, just
lemme know where you're taking it, so I can come visit.
Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA,
Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions---wish I could have just an itty-bitty piece, but
am forced to be satisfied as a spectator.
Authors Notes: Something a little bit different here, this is just dialogue but you should get the
general idea!
Beta-read by Chezza.
© CeCe Smith 2003
~~~o0o~~~
"Well, sir, are you glad to be back?"
"Carter, I went a month without a shower and decent food. What do you think?"
"O'Neill, is it true that you shot ColonelMaybourne?"
"Twice!"
"Uh, Colonel, what exactly did you do all that time, with no supplies?"
"Well, Jonas, if you must know, I improvised."
"Oh, okay. So, why did you let Colonel Maybourne go with the Tok'ra, after all the trouble he's
caused?"
"Because he asked nicely, is that okay with you? So, Carter, what'd you do while I was away?"
"Uh, well…"
"She was extremely efficient in locating your whereabouts."
"Well, well, high praise from the Jaffa! Well done Carter. And for the record I am very glad you
found me. One more hour with that guy and I would have started eating that plant again."
"Thank you sir, we're all glad to have you back."
"Yeah, especially Dr. Lee, I've never actually seen a person 'pee their pants' before, it was quite
amusing."
"Indeed, it was rather humorous, given the location of his incontinence."
"What? What happened? Carter, care to explain?"
"No, sir."
"Carter, spill it."
"Well sir, if you must know, Dr. Lee was disputing my report of his team's efficiency. I told him I
might reconsider my findings."
"And exactly what was the 'deal'?"
"MajorCarter simply finished her firearm training."
"…Okay?"
"She hit the target with a precision that seemed to unsettle the professor."
"And?"
"She shot the dummy in the uh, nether regions. It surprised Dr. Lee, and he changed his mind
about the report. By the way Sam, you did intend to hit the target there, right?"
"Sam?"
"Carter?"
"So sir, glad to be home?"
"Uh, sure. You're glad too, right?"
"Yes sir."
"Oh, good. Just checking."
~~~End~~~
Sequel/Series: N/A
Summary: Tag for Paradise Lost. Takes place on the ride home from dropping Maybourne off at
his new home. Gang is sitting around the cargo bay of the Teltac.
Season: Six
Spoilers: Paradise Lost
Category: Episode Addition/Humour
Characters: Jack O'Neill, Sam Carter, Teal'c and Jonas Quinn.
Pairing: None
Rating: G
Warnings: None
Posted: 18/01/04
Archive: Helio, Fanfiction.net, Gateworld, SJD, Chezza's site….. If anyone else wants it, just
lemme know where you're taking it, so I can come visit.
Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA,
Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions---wish I could have just an itty-bitty piece, but
am forced to be satisfied as a spectator.
Authors Notes: Something a little bit different here, this is just dialogue but you should get the
general idea!
Beta-read by Chezza.
© CeCe Smith 2003
~~~o0o~~~
"Well, sir, are you glad to be back?"
"Carter, I went a month without a shower and decent food. What do you think?"
"O'Neill, is it true that you shot ColonelMaybourne?"
"Twice!"
"Uh, Colonel, what exactly did you do all that time, with no supplies?"
"Well, Jonas, if you must know, I improvised."
"Oh, okay. So, why did you let Colonel Maybourne go with the Tok'ra, after all the trouble he's
caused?"
"Because he asked nicely, is that okay with you? So, Carter, what'd you do while I was away?"
"Uh, well…"
"She was extremely efficient in locating your whereabouts."
"Well, well, high praise from the Jaffa! Well done Carter. And for the record I am very glad you
found me. One more hour with that guy and I would have started eating that plant again."
"Thank you sir, we're all glad to have you back."
"Yeah, especially Dr. Lee, I've never actually seen a person 'pee their pants' before, it was quite
amusing."
"Indeed, it was rather humorous, given the location of his incontinence."
"What? What happened? Carter, care to explain?"
"No, sir."
"Carter, spill it."
"Well sir, if you must know, Dr. Lee was disputing my report of his team's efficiency. I told him I
might reconsider my findings."
"And exactly what was the 'deal'?"
"MajorCarter simply finished her firearm training."
"…Okay?"
"She hit the target with a precision that seemed to unsettle the professor."
"And?"
"She shot the dummy in the uh, nether regions. It surprised Dr. Lee, and he changed his mind
about the report. By the way Sam, you did intend to hit the target there, right?"
"Sam?"
"Carter?"
"So sir, glad to be home?"
"Uh, sure. You're glad too, right?"
"Yes sir."
"Oh, good. Just checking."
~~~End~~~