If Gai Were Hokage

by 7Rei - Chi7

If Gai was the one who was selected to be Hokage, what would he do? This is what we think he would do if he were ever chosen. Please R&R. Thanks. Rating has nothing to do with the 'story.'

If Gai were Hokage, he would implement the following rules/law:

*Note: The mentioned rules/law will be immediately implemented and the punishment will depend upon the gravity of the violated law. NO EXCEPMTIONS SHALL BE MADE.

Everyone should wear the youthful 'Might Suit' and grow their eyebrows as thick as they can, with a minimum of one inch.

Every sensei and student should have an unbreakable Genjutsu like the one that appears when Gai and Lee have their hugging moments. No exception.

Every able Shinobi or kunoichi [Genin to ANBU] must run 1,500 laps around Konoha [near the borders of Konoha] every 7 o'clock in the morning and 5 o'clock in the afternoon to preserve their youthful youthfulness.

Everybody, both Shinobi and civilian, should eat the 'Curry of Life' delivered by the Curry of Life Shop every week. Eat said curry at breakfast and lunch. Violators will be punished severely.

Everybody should have the 'bowl cut' hairstyle identical to the one the Hokage has and brush their teeth 3x an hour to preserve its shininess and twinkling-ness.

Everybody should wear eyelashes beneath their eyes, whether fake or not. Buy tons of it if you must; just don't let the Hokage or an official of his to see you without it. Otherwise, you'll be punished 'severely'.

Everybody should usefully use the youthful words: 'youth, youthful, youthfulness' in every sentence youthfully possible. Violators will be youthfully stripped of their youthful rights and be youthfully punished in front of the youthful public.

Everybody should know the 'Good Guy' pose and use the said pose in any time possible. Violators will be punished by Hokage-sama himself.

Every Shinobi or kunoichi should wear weights all the time and they can only be allowed to be removed for hygienic purposes and in dire circumstances. The minimum weight is 150 kilograms. Violators will be 'Lotus-ed' by the Hokage himself.

Every Shinobi or kunoichi should be able to open at least four of the 'Eight Gates'. Train to the brink of death if you must, so long as you accomplish that goal. Those who will not follow will answer to the Hokage himself. Warning: Don't die of chakra exhaustion. NO EXCEPTION.

Everybody should talk in loud voices [78 dB minimum] to prevent repetition of words and to preserve youth. Violators will be apprehended and will be doing janitorial services for two weeks.

Thou shall emote freely, even in front of the public. [E.g.: When Gai and Lee hug or cry in front of other people because of things that either went well or not.] No exception shall be made.

Thou shall smile and state the obvious things. [E.g.: Gai noted: There is a difference between thinking it is his weapon and knowing it is his weapon.] Posses a brain of an insect of you must. Just state the obvious things and avoid usage of common sense. ALWAYS. No one is excluded.

Forget whoever enemy ninja, extremely strong or extremely weak, you encounter. [E.g.: The time when Gai had never remembered Kisame during the Shippuden when he had met him when Itachi had once again appeared in Konoha with Kisame.] Ask a medic to erase the memory for you but remember to forget whoever enemy that is.

Every Shinobi or kunoichi should have a nun-chaku as a weapon. No exemption will be made even if you beg Hokage-sama or you don't know how to use the thing. Learn it from his student or other people if you have to.