Love through Trials

Alyssa-Rose Katherine Logan sat looking out the kitchen window, she was dressed in black and her black hair in a bun. A hand was placed on her shoulder, she looked up to see her Uncle Bobby.

"Come on Lys, your mom's waiting on you."

Alyssa stood and walked with her uncle to the living room, Carolyn Barek-Logan stood waiting by the stairs, her husband Mike Logan with her. Mike looked up to see his daughter, she hugged him tight.

"If I say goodbye, he's really gone Daddy."

"I know Baby but we need to."

James 'Jimmy' Deakins was like a grandfather to Alyssa, dying from a stroke in his sleep, it was the was the day of the funeral. Alyssa looked up at her father and their green eyes mirrored each other. Getting her mother's jet black hair and her father's green eyes, she spoke three languages, English, Spanish and Italian. At five, her parents wanted only to keep her safe.

"Mike we need to go." Mike nodded at his wife and took Alyssa's hand.

Mike smiled at his wife, he remembered walking into the room and looking at her. He thought she was just another female, I know it all, partner but she wasn't. She was perfect to him, the perfect former partner, perfect wife and perfect mother. The day they started dating was the perfect date.

2007

Mike looked over at Carolyn and smiled, she talked to herself as she looked at the crime scene photos.

"Can I take you to dinner?" Carolyn looked up at him, he smiled.

"Why?"

"Just dinner between partners." She smiled and nodded.

"Alright Logan, no funny stuff."

"Scout's honor."

The dinner had been perfect, they talked about things other then work and after they paid, both walked outside. Mike place a hand on her cheek.

"Logan, I said no funny business."

"I'm not." He smiled and pulled his hand down, "Next friday, dinner again?"

"Maybe, depends on our schedule."

The dinners continued for a month, after the fourth, Mike asked if they could walk though Central Park, she agreed but only the lighted paths.

"What is this Logan?" As they walked.

"What is what?" Looking at her, she was beautiful as the lights glowed against her skin.

"This, dinner each friday. I get the feeling this isn't just partner get togethers. Are you trying to date me?"

He smiled and shrugged his shoulders, she smiled.

"How am I doing so far?"

"Atleast you aren't dragging me to your bed each night. So, what's different besides I'm your partner and the fact I can kick your ass?"

"Maybe I'm falling in love with a polish cop who talks to herself. Maybe I want to do right by you. Maybe you're special to me!"

"Love? You love love." She smiled and he looked at her.

"First case and a hellish one by that." Turning to her as they reached the bridge, Carolyn stood by him.

"Carolyn..." He leaned down and went to kiss her, Carolyn smiled as his lips touched hers.

Letting go, Carolyn began kissing back. It felt right to her, forget standards, no relatonships between partners. Standing on her tip toes, Carolyn rested her hands on his chest as they kissed.

"Mike..." As they broke apart and looked at each other, she smiled.

The fifth date was at her brownstone, she made dinner. Mike watched as she plucked things from her garden. She had expanded from cabbage and cherry tomatos to other vegtables such as carrots, cucumbers and bell peppers and regular tomatos.

"Nice garden." She smiled as he came to stand by her instead of by the porch.

"I expanded the variety of vegtables." Standing up with a small basket full of vegtables, Mike took it from her. "Thank you."

Making dinner was easy considering Mike demanded to help.

"I heard you take girls home and can't hold a steady relationship." Mike looked up at her as hey ate, she looked at him.

"Maybe I haven't met the right one yet, maybe she's infront of me." Carolyn smiled and he stood up, "are you done?"

"Thank you." As he took her plate and his own to the sink.

"I never make it past date two, that's if I'm lucky after I take them to bed after date one." Carolyn went to him at the sink, placing a hand on his arm. Mike turned and she smiled, taking his hand and pulled him to her stairs.

The sex was amazing in his view but what was even more amazing was they laid talking afterwards, not worried about it not lasting.

"I'll transfer, Deakins is leaving, I'll transfer at the same time." Carolyn looked at him as he closed his eyes. "What is it Mike?"

"Why are you going to transfer Carolyn?" Opening his eyes

"So we will be able to continue this, so we won't loose your jobs in the process."

He nodded in understanding, Carolyn placed a hand on his cheek, leaning over and kissed him. Mike pulled her onto of him, kissing her as his hand ran down her back.

"Baby." Carolyn looked down at him.

"What?" Smiling as he placed a hand on her cheek.

He smiled and looked at her, shaking his head. "Nothing, just calling you that."

"Mike..." He made her stop by a kiss.

After the transfer Mike was able to spend time with her more and they ended up moving in together. It was not intil Mike was shot that he realized how much Carolyn meant to him.

Carolyn looked at him from the hospital door, Megan looked up to see her. Mike did too, he smiled.

"Mike, thank God. You idiot, you had to get shot." Carolyn walked over to him, Megan left the two alone.

"Carolyn, I didn't plan this."

"I know, how are you feeling?" Taking his hand in her's.

"Better now that you are here, Carolyn there's something you have to know. When I was shot, you were the thing I was thinking about."

"Why?"

"Because I love you, I knew I had to make it through for you."

"Mike you have to make it through and you did, but not for me."

He looked at her and knew, she was telling him she was pregnant.

"How long?"

"A month?" She smiled and looked at him, "I love you too you idiot."

The baby made it but not like they expected, that day was the day he saw Carolyn cry for the first time.

"One more push Carolyn, you're doing good." Carolyn laid pushing for their child's delivery. Mike was beside her, his hand was red from her squeezing.

"Oh God, this is worse then being shot twice." Pushing and the baby came. When she didn't hear a cry, Carolyn looked at Mike. "Is it alright, is our baby okay?"

The doctor looked at them and Carolyn could see the sadness in his eyes, "I'm sorry."

"What? What's wrong?" Mike looked at the doctor as he handed the still baby to the nurse.

"The cord was around the neck."

"We heard the heartbeat just a few hours ago."

"The distress...the cord must have tightened around his neck more during delivery. He's not alive."

Mike watched as tears rolled down Carolyn's face, their son was dead.

"Would you like to hold him later?" Carolyn was cry and didn't heard him, Mike nodded.

When Carolyn was calm and cleaned up later, the nurse brought their son to them. Mike took him and looked down at the child that would never be able to grow in their home.

"We need to give him a name, what do you want to name him?" Carolyn looked at him and nodded, seeing her still son in his father's arms.

"Cassider, my grandfather's name. Chose a middle name."

"Do you want to hold him." Carolyn began crying again as she accepted her son.

Looking down at the child, she smiled, "He has your nose and..." Gently lifting her son's tiny eyelid, blue eyes. "Blue eyes, probably would change to green." Letting the eyelid rest back down over his eye.

"Cassider Jonathan Logan." Carolyn handed their son back to him back to Mike.

The funeral was two days later, only family and the Major Case sqaud attended. The grave stone had a small angel on it and Cassider's name. Mike held Carolyn the whole time, the priest gave a small speech of how Cassider was in heaven now. After everyone left, Mike looked down at the stone, Carolyn stood beside him.

"Mike...why?"

"I don't know Baby." Hugging Carolyn as she cried.

After Deakins' funeral, Mike took Alyssa to a grave. She looked at him in questioning.

"Who's this Daddy?"

"This is your brother Lys, his name is Cassider. Mommy didn't want to come but I wanted to bring you. He died when he was born, two years before you were born."

"Will the babies die like him?"

"No Baby, they'll be fine, just like you were." Smiling at his daughter, he handed her a rose and nodded to the grave.

"Hi Cassider, I'm your sister Alyssa. I hope you like it in heaven." She placed the rose down beside Cassider's stone.

Mike smiled, Alyssa came two years after Cassider died. He and Carolyn went through a period of distance but realized that they'd get through it together. Having a small civil ceremony a year later, they married. Carolyn didn't want another child but soon became pregnant with Alyssa. Mike said they had to think positive and they ended up with a healthy child after a scheduled C-section, Carolyn asked to be knocked out.

Carolyn opened her eyes to see Mike holding a bundle, he was talking to it.

"Oh and know that the whole police department will be after a boy if he hurts you. I'll be running back gound checks constantly because you're just a beautiful as your mother."

Looking up, Mike found Carolyn looking at them.

"Speaking of Mommy, let's let you meet her." Walking over to the bed and turned to let Carolyn see their daughter, she had her eyes open and moving her arms. "Mommy meet Alyssa-Rose Katherine Logan, Alyssa meet Mommy."

Carolyn reached up and put a hand on her daughter's stomach. "She's perfect."

"Perfect like her mother." Handing Alyssa to her mother.

At forty-nine, Carolyn couldn't believe she was pregnant again. They didn't believe it till the doctor confirmed it with ultrasound. She said that it was possible to get pregnant at forty-nine and fifty naturally if she hadn't reached menopause yet. Twins, identical by looks. Marek Daniel and Barek David Logan would be born in little under two months. Mike decided on the Polish name Marek and their mother's Polish surname to make them almost the same. David and Daniel were Carolyn's choice. Two months later, Marek and Barek Logan made it into the world safe and healthy by c-section.

"Love through trials." Mike looked at his wife as she made the statement.

"Baby?" Carolyn smiled and shook her head.

"Love has let us go through all these trials. Dating, partnership, Cassider, Alyssa and now the twins. It's been the constant."

"Well the trials are only beginning with these two."

"Atleast they aren't identical."

"I know, it would be hell raising."

Carolyn laughed at her husband, he was maybe the former black sheep of the police department but he was her husband partner and father of her children. He made a statement once and he had held up to each part of it.

Maybe I'm falling in love with a polish cop who talks to herself.

He had fallen in love with her. He had come to adore her Polish background so much that he gave their twin boys Polish names. He also came to start talking to himself sometimes.

Maybe I want to do right by you.

He did right by her, staying by her contantly. Through their son's death, till their marriage day and as they raised their daughter. And also he would as their sons grew.

Maybe you're special to me!

She was special to him, she, in his eyes, was perfect. He adored her, he loved her and always would.

Carolyn felt the same. She would love him till her death. She after all was Carolyn Rose Barek-Logan. Mike Logan's wife, partner and mother of his children.