A/N : My very first piece of non-school-related writing! :O I wrote this last year in November(? Maybe September), just to make myself laugh It was totally random, and I've decided to share it with the world! :O As you can see, my AN makes near no sense. Lalala :D
Disclaimer : I do not own Maximum Ride or any third party content. All rights go to James Patterson and whoever else it may involve.
WARNING : This oneshot is total rubbish and is completely random. Do not expect any part of it to make any sense.
Max POV
Nothing can ruin your day like Dr. Stupendous flirting with Fang. Stupid redhead. Can't she see that he doesn't like her?
I muttered to myself intelligibly. And what was Fang doing? Completely ignoring her! At least he isn't flirting back with her like he used to. I laughed to myself quietly. Brigid looked at me questioningly. I shook my head , I wasn't about to tell her anything.
Fang POV
Brigid was talking to me , as usual , while we (Max , Brigid and I) walked along the pier on the beach. Max looked upset , she had a frown on her face. Suddenly , Max sped up and walked ahead of us. I hurriedly caught up with her , cutting off whatever Brigid was saying.
"What's up?" I asked.
"Nothing."
"Something's bothering you, I know it."
"You know me too well."
"Well , of course. We've only grown up together since those days in the dog crates."
Max shuddered at remembering those times.
"Well -"
"Fang!" Brigid interrupted whatever Max was about to say. I rolled my eyes and then turned to her.
"As I was saying-" She continued with whatever she was talking about before. I didn't really listen this time. I was too preoccupied with what was happening with Max. She was being very moody ever since Brigid came to visit us in Florida. Then it dawned on me , Brigid. I smirked to myself.
Max POV
Stupid Dr. Amazing. Stupid , stupid , stupid! Why couldn't I get a chance to talk to Fang without Dr. Brilliant interrupting me.
I clenched my fists , resisting the urge to give Dr. Stupendous a well-deserved punch in the face. I watched my knuckles turn white and then unclenched my fists again. I grit my teeth. How nice it would be without Dr. Stupendous here with us.
If only she were a Snickers bar and Borchy would appear and eat her up.
Poof!
I turned to see what happened. I burst out laughing. I don't think Brigid had noticed what had happened to her. She was now a walking , talking SNICKERS BAR!
Fang POV
Something weird just happened. Brigid was talking and suddenly , poof! , she turned into a Snickers bar! I don't think she noticed it because she just carried on talking. Max was laughing her head off so it must be her doing. I suppressed a laugh and tried to pay attention to what Brigid was saying but I just couldn't concentrate. Not with a walking , talking Snickers bar! All of a sudden , there was a droning sound. Crap. Flyboys.
Max POV
If Little Miss Redhead had turned into a Snickers bar , just like I wished , then I should have been prepared for the next part. At least a thousand Flyboys coming towards us. And right in the middle , a Flyboy carrying ter Bocht.
"I haf come for ze Snickez Bahz!"
I peeked at Fang. He was all tensed up and ready to battle. Little Miss Redhead was somehow managing to look like a shocked Snickers bar. I quickly pushed Brigid to Borchy.
"Vat? Only vun? Vere are ze ozer eight?"
"Duh , it's a GIANT Snickers Bar. It's worth more than eight Snickers bars. Dumbass."
"Fine. I vill now eat ze Giant Snickez Bah visout bahfing!"
He began chomping on Brigid. Surprisingly , she didn't scream or anything. Or at least until he was halfway through she didn't. I blocked out all the screeching and giggled to myself. Fang looked at me.
"You did all this , didn't you?"
"What do you think?" I said. He flashed one of his rare , lopsided grins at me. "I thought you liked Brigid?" I said , struggling with her name. I was too used to saying Dr. Stupendous or Dr. Brilliant or others.
"Yeah , she was getting kind of boring."
I laughed to myself quietly.
"So," he began, "you didn't exactly finish what you were trying to tell me before."
I blushed a deep red. After thinking about it , I wasn't ready to tell Fang. "You're blushing," he said , stroking my reddened cheek.
"You know , I'm not going to tell you."
"I bet I can make you." He tilted my chin up with his index finger and pressed his forehead to mine. My heart began beating radically. "Tell me?" he said alluringly. I couldn't think.
"Uh , let me see." I said , trying to recall everything , but all I could think about was Fang. "I forgot."
He sighed impatiently. "Max," he said firmly, "tell me. Now."
"Uh , ok , I hate Brigid? She flirts with you. And you flirt back. Or at least you used to. And I can never talk to you without her interrupting me."
"I wonder why you feel that way."
"Don't you know? Remember the time I was on Valium?" I blushed an even deeper red.
"You mean you really meant it?" he said. "I thought you said you hadn't meant anything you said that time."
"Well I did." I said firmly. And I pressed my lips to his, just to prove my point.
I never edited it ._. So most likely there was lots of mistakes x.x
And it really is my first ever fanfic. So don't kill me for the crappiness ._.