After reading "Turtle Tangent" by The Pixess (go read it! Now!) I decided the world needed more Shell fics. So here goes (italics are Elphie, normal type is Shell)
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Oh, joy. A letter from my favourite sister. Oh, wait, the other sister is Nessarose. Fabala IS my favourite sister. Great.
So, little miss cabbage, what have you got to say for yourself?
Dear Shell,
I hope you're well. I am writing to inform you, in case you hadn't heard, that our beloved Nessa is dead.
She's WHAT?
I know. I was shocked too.
Oh, yes, very funny, Fabala. Nessa's dead, and the only thing you can think of to say is "oh, how shocking"? What about all that stuff about how dedicated to her you are or whatever?
A house fell on her during a freak tornado. They say she would have died instantly. There was no pain.
Oh, well, that makes everything better. I can't believe no one bothers to TELL me these things! Freak tornado? Seriously?
That doesn't help us much, though, does it, brother dear? It's fine for her, but there's no such thing as a painless death for those who loved her. Love her.
I guess not. And who said I loved her? She doesn't even talk about me, let alone to me. She's too busy oppressing the masses or some such nonsense.
The Munchkins are pretty happy about the whole mess, though. There was dancing in the street the day she died. Dancing all over that infernal yellow brick road.
Just because it clashes with you doesn't mean it's infernal, my dear artichoke.
They must really despise our family, mustn't they? I'm green, Nessa was a fanatical religious dictator, and… Well, we all know what they thought of you.
Yes, we do, don't we? Just because I wasn't green or deformed, clearly I must have been the product of an affair. Only solution: drive me out of Munchkinland and never speak of me again. We love Munchkin logic, right, sis? The only sibling who ISN'T deformed must be the one to bring shame on the family.
How is life in the armed forces treating you? I suspect you may be called upon to attack me sometime in the near future, under the pretence of "protecting the country".
What have you done now?
If this proves to be the case, could you tell your fellow protectors of Oz to be gentle? I'm not afraid of death, but I expect Fiyero (and probably Glinda) would hate to see my battered corpse being dragged away unceremoniously by the Storm Troopers or whatever it is you call yourselves.
Storm Troopers? Are you feeling quite alright, Fabala? And I thought you hated Glinda, or Glinda hated you, or something. You told me in the last letter I got from you, oh, around FIVE YEARS AGO? And who's Fiyero? Don't tell me you've gone and got yourself a boyfriend! He must be blue, or something, right?
Well, sleep well, brother dear, and say a prayer for our Nessarose. I'm sure she'd want you to.
Right. Because you can't do it, even though she loved you more and you loved her more and we all know it. Stupid sisters.
Yours, Elphaba.
Mine, Elphaba indeed. I was never YOURS. I was never really part of anything. You guys were off being cripples and green and I got to sit around at home being normal and ignored. Now whose life is unfair?
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