PLEASE NOTE: For this AU, please pretend that ghouls can't tell other ghouls apart from humans by their smell. This was inspired by the movie Mr. and Mrs. Smith, but very (VERY) loosely based on it, plot wise (I don't own Tokyo Ghoul or Mr. and Mrs. Smith). I know this is more of a crack ship, but I thought it was fitting for Mr. and Mrs. Smith. It was a mess trying to figure out how I wanted to start this, so feedback and advice would be good, please (and thank you).
OTHER INFO: (According to the wiki page) the Black Dobers and En (Apparently that's the Devil Ape's gang) wrought havoc in the 20th ward about a decade before the Tokyo Ghoul storyline. So the characters are younger in this. I'm gonna guess they're in their early twenties. Please keep in mind, because it was shown that they were very different when the manager first met them, I'm going to try to write them like that.
Kaya Irimi had expected a nice, simple mission. Her objective: Eliminate the nosy ghoul investigator that had been snooping around the 20th ward. Piece of cake, well, for her at least. She was the SS leader of the Black Dobers. She quite literally ate meddling fools for breakfast. But this kill had been much too easy, pathetically easy. As soon as his back was to her, she had leapt from her vantage point on a rooftop, gracefully slicing his neck with her kagune. He hadn't even seen her.
'What sort of dumbasses are they letting into the CCG these days?', she thought. She almost laughed, looking at the corpse before her, splayed helplessly on the street like a bearskin rug. She could feel an arrogant chuckle bubbling in her throat- one which died down as soon as she realized what was wrong with the scene. NO suitcase. Meaning that this guy didn't have a quinque with him, and ghoul investigators always had their quinque with them. She stooped over the body, flipping it over so the man was on his back, and lifted his jacket a bit. Bingo. She saw a gun- the type loaded with q bullets- holstered. She groaned and kicked the corpse in frustration.
Kaya had killed a fucking bureau investigator instead of the ghoul investigator. Sure, bureau investigators were pesky, but they typically sat on their asses and did paperwork all day at the branch offices. Though sometimes they accompanied the ghoul investigators, sticking to their sides like remoras to a shark. They didn't really contribute to the kill, but they fed off it anyway, mooching off the recognition to get a promotion. So, in short, the 'shark' should be nearby.
Right on cue, the door to the little shop beside her squeaked open, and a man with spiky white hair and round glasses stepped out, straightening his tie. Kaya immediately noticed his firm grip on the handle of a suitcase.
"Sorry for the wait, Fujiwara." He called as he looked up from his (now fixed) tie. His gaze went straight to 'Fujiwara', eyes widening, then up Kaya's legs, trailing over her black cloak, and finally resting on her mask. His jaw tightened. "Black Dog."
Kaya gave a mocking wave and he scowled. "I've heard about you and your little gang." She heard the sharp click of the latches on his suitcase and shifted into fighting stance. His quinque resembled a gauntlet, covering his right hand. He raised it towards her, sending a volley of spikes her way. She dodged with ease, then watched as he poised himself to strike again. Kaya ran to scale the building to her left, perching on the corrugated metal roof. She gave him another little wave and watched his left hand form a fist. 'So easily riled up...', she snickered. He adjusted his aim then fired the spikes at her feet, and she jumped to the building across the street, laughing.
Then the investigator surprised her. He lifted his gauntlet at her again, but didn't fire. He kept it trained on her as he made his way to the corpse, moving his fallen colleague's jacket to take the gun from its holster. She rolled her eyes. He couldn't possibly hope to aim two weapons at her at once. She jumped back across the street to dodge the next barrage of spikes, and again, and again. 'Really? This bastard needs some imagination,' Kaya scoffed at the repetition, jumping back, 'He hasn't even used the gun yet!' She gave another leap, avoiding another load of spikes. This time, she slipped a bit as she landed, but righted herself quickly. Her dark eyes widened in realization. 'This dumbass isn't trying to hit me. He's tiring me out.' She dodged yet again. 'He probably thinks he's outsmarted me.' This time when the spikes flew at her, she jumped but raised her kagune to fire ukaku shards at him in midair.
She saw his eyebrows go up as he scrambled to dodge. He only got grazed by a couple, which he shook off of his jacket sleeve. This left the gashes left behind clearly visible, shallow but still bleeding. She could hear him hiss in anger, and heard the click of his nails against the gun. She smiled. 'So I see it's time for the grand finale.' She hopped to the ground in a crouch, straightening up to look at him.
"You think you're slick, don't you?" He spat. She shrugged her shoulders, chuckling. "Laugh while you can, mutt."
She watched the tendons in his left wrist tighten as he raised the gun. He pulled the trigger, and she quickly dodged to the right. Straight into a round of spikes. She growled, but she could feel herself getting tired. So she shot him one last load of shards before giving a mock salute, leaping back onto the rooftops and making her way to a back alley.
After making sure no one was around, Kaya unfolded the plain shopping bag she had in her coat pocket. She took off her mask and black cloak and hastily stuffed them inside the bag, then began walking down the street, trying to slow the beating of her heart.
Enji Koma had expected a nice, quiet walk back to his apartment. Sure, the city was brightly lit and there were still cars bustling and pedestrians hustling across the streets, but not here. This was the shady part of town. The part where the sidewalks are cracked. Where there's graffiti on the walls. Where there's an old, shabby apartment building that houses a 22 year old ghoul. Of course, the pedestrians didn't know that, but the rate of human crime in the area kept them out regardless. So why was she here?
When he turned the corner into another dirty street, he was surprised to see a young woman walking in his direction, a grocery bag in hand. She threw a glance over her shoulder, then picked up her pace.
'But there's no one there...? Maybe she's nuts.' He thought with a scoff. He debated whether or not he should go for the kill as she neared. He walked slowly, seeing the way her chin length hair bobbed with each stride, the way her thin eyebrows were furrowed with... worry? anger? deep thought?
Meanwhile, Kaya Irimi was thinking about how to get that fucking dove off her tail. She was really getting sloppy, wasn't she? 'Unacceptable,' She scolded herself. Her objective had been so simple. She'd really made a mess of things. She could hear footsteps behind and in front of her. She knew the investigator was approaching behind her, she could hear him speaking into his comm.
"This is Hachikawa, I was attacked by Black Dog. It killed Fujiwara and ran into the backstreets, search for it. It appears female, seems young. It was alone." He reported into the communicator. She furrowed her brow, looking up to meet the eyes of the guy walking towards her. He seemed around her age. She almost smiled when the idea hit her.
She blinked twice, offering a strained smile. He waved, thinking (he wasn't hungry, really, he'd eaten just the day before. Besides, he wanted to know what she was running from. Curiosity killed the cat.). She looked behind her one more time before looking back to the stranger and rushing to him.
"H-Hi, I'm sorry to trouble you like this, but, um, you see," She did her best to seem nervous, luring him in, "My ex has kinda been following me since I left the store, and, um, I just- I really don't..." She trailed off and looked at the ground.
Enji thought he understood. That dude must have hit her or something, and she didn't want him to do it again. He had to restrain a smirk as he thought, 'She'd be safer with that guy, doesn't she know what the Devil Ape is capable of?...' But of course she wouldn't. On first glace, he was just another handsome fellow walking home.
"I'll walk with you. Don't worry about that son of a bitch." He offered his arm and she giggled and took it.
'Poor girl fell for it.' He thought.
'Poor guy fell for it.' She thought.
Just then, Hachikawa rounded the corner, and Kaya tensed up. She turned to look her cover story in the face. He had dark brown eyes and a bulbous nose. She didn't recognise him, but something about his voice had sounded oddly familiar. She shook her head a bit, strands of black hair swirling around her. He laughed a bit.
"Hey, don't worry." He whispered in her ear, and she tightened her grip on his arm. Hachikawa looked at them for a second, and she could feel her pulse in her ears, but he just frowned and kept walking. Success.
As soon as they turned onto another road she let go of his arm. Enji was still trying to decide what do with her. He really wasn't hungry, and it was a shame to waste food. 'Especially pretty food.' He thought. Kaya had already considered her options and decided to just let the guy go. 'As a thank you for letting me use him.' She thought, and giggled.
"Thank you, you have no clue how glad I am I found you." She said, tucking her hair behind one ear and moving to leave.
"No problem." He said, smiling. Yeah, he would just let her go. Besides, if he killed her, he would risk her ex hearing her pitiful screams and running back to find him feasting and report him. While he didn't really put much effort into his 'human' cover, he didn't want the CCG to find him. They'd never catch the Devil Ape. 'My cover...', He thought. He could use her. For something other than food. Humans had other human friends, or girlfriends. She would be good for that. 'What a great excuse.' "I'm Koma Enji, nice to meet you. Wanna meet up again sometime?"
She paused to consider the offer. Logically, having a human friend or boyfriend would help her assimilate. But this guy could also find out about her and report her to the CCG... She studied his face. She couldn't say why, but she decided to give it a shot. Reluctantly, she smiled and held out her hand, "I'm Kaya Irimi. And yeah, that'd be nice."
Thank you for reading this, I would really appreciate any sort of feedback in the reviews (good or bad). The next chapters will probably be longer. Sorry for the cheesy title by the way.