Hector, Destiny, and Dean
T.R. Normandin
Disclaimer: Nope, still don't own anything Supernatural. As for the Iliad, although I doubt Homer will complain, I guess I have to admit that it doesn't belong to me either. I just have a fascination and love for the big brothers of these stories, namely Hector and Dean. ;)
"But why would Hector fight in the war, if he already knew he was gonna lose?" Sam Winchester asked, curling up closer to his older brother's side. Why had been Sam's favorite word since he had learned to talk. Sam was both innately curious and too smart for his own good, which was why Dean Winchester was reading his five year old brother The Iliad for a bedtime story.
The librarian had been worried that The Iliad would scare the little boy, but Dean knew better. Sam had witnessed worse things than the burning of Troy in his short life, and had seen them happen to the people he loved best. No mythological war was going to faze Sam Winchester.
"Because, Sammy, Paris was his brother. His little brother. He couldn't let those guys just come after his little brother and do nothing about it," Dean answered Sam's question. Sam looked up at Dean, his eyelashes brushing his cheeks. "But Paris deserved it. Paris was a brat. And he didn't even offer to help Hector fight," he argued.
"Doesn't matter. Paris didn't have to earn Hector's protection, Sam. He had it just because he was the younger brother, from the moment he was born, whether he wanted it or not," Dean said. "It was Hector's job to protect Paris from anything that might hurt him, and he couldn't live with himself if he didn't," he added.
Sam yawned. "Like it's your job to take care of me?" he asked. Dean's brows drew together. "It's Dad who protects you, Sammy," he said. "Nuh-uh. Daddy's job is to get rid of the monster. Your job is to protect me. Sometimes I'm scared Daddy doesn't even see me. But you always do. You're always there, to chase away the bad guys, even if I don't deserve it," Sam mumbled, his eyes closing.
Dean shifted carefully and put the book down on the night stand. He turned off the lamp and wriggled down so he and his brother lay flat on the bed. He would wait until Sam fell asleep and then ease himself away from the little boy and go back to his own bed. Judging from the way that Sam's breath was evening out, it wouldn't be a long wait. Dean ran a hand over the unruly dark hair. "I'll always be there Sam, and I'll always chase away the bad guys, even if I have to die in the process. Just like Hector," he vowed...
Years later Dean recalled the conversation as he sat by Sam's bed, pretending to be researching hoodoo. He finally tossed the papers aside. Clearly, he had failed in his mission to protect Sam. Evidence of that could be found simply by looking at his kid brother, at the worry lines which marred his face in sleep, the cast he wore on his wrist, the bruises fading from their last brush with the supernatural.
And now Sam wanted Dean not only to not protect him, but to be the one who actually brought Sam harm. Dean knew he couldn't handle it, but he'd been stuck when Sam, despite his drunkenness, had turned the puppy dog eyes on Dean. In fact, the cloudiness of those usually clear eyes had only added to the effect. Dean couldn't deny his little brother anything when Sam used the puppy dog eyes, and they both knew it.
But Sam had been drunk, so drunk that he'd passed out as soon as he'd settled on the bed, so drunk that he was, even now, sleeping on his injured wrist. Dean frowned and carefully rolled his brother over to his other side. Sam groaned a little in his sleep but didn't wake up. Dean's touch didn't register in Sam's mind as a threat. In fact, when Sam had been a little boy, the only thing that soothed his frequent nightmares was his brother's touch. Remembering, Dean ran a hand over the unruly dark hair, as though he could chase away Sam's troubles with this gesture. Maybe Sam wouldn't remember his promise in the morning.
Dean had never broken a promise to Sam in his life. To his father, occasionally, to third parties certainly, but never to Sam. But Dean knew that no matter what Sam became, he could never take a gun, point it at his brother, and pull the trigger. That was what had finally opened his eyes to Gordon Walker's true nature. The fact that Gordon had cut Sam had rage pumping through Dean's veins, because no one hurt Sam. But he could still understand Gordon's point of view at that point. He didn't agree with it, and he wouldn't let Gordon get away with it, but he understood. Sam wasn't Gordon's little brother. But then Gordon had told Dean he had killed his own little sister, hunted her down and murdered her when she became a vampire. And Dean knew he would never understand or agree with Gordon Walker again. Because Dean knew that he could never do the same to Sam.
So Dean would just have to try harder. His father hadn't simply told him to kill Sam. If he had, Dean probably would have punched him in the face, lifetime hero or no. He had told Dean to save Sam, and that is what Dean would have to do. He had to be doing something right so far, didn't he? Sam was exposed to evil things every day of his life, and yet he still stood with the victim, not with the killer. Sam still felt the line between good and bad was important enough to make himself sick over, so important that every death weighed heavily on Sam. So important that Sam, who never drank more than one beer, and usually not even that at a sitting, had made himself stinking drunk.
But what if it really was Sam's destiny to become evil, just as it had been Paris' destiny to kidnap Helen and start the Trojan war? Dean knew that he, like Hector, could not fight against destiny, could not shield his little brother from an entire army. Hector had died. Dean had evaded a reaper several times now, and he wasn't sure he'd be able to do so again, not even to save his brother.
But then something else occurred to Dean and made his lips twitch. In The Iliad, Hector had died, but Paris had lived. Dean looked at his little brother and heard Sam's question of years before. "But why would Hector fight in the war, if he already knew he was gonna lose?" Hector had fought in the war to save his little brother, and he'd succeeded, even though he'd given up his life for the cause. Dean Winchester thought he could live with that.