~A totally clichéd Mary-Sue Fic! ~
Disclaimer: we don't own any of the Harry Potter characters. ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?? Yea...moving on
One day Harry Potty (a/n: oops I mean Harry Potter) and his two lovely friends (A/N: don't ask.that was all Ronnie.) were sitting in the Great Hall having dinner and talking about Quidditch.
Suddenly he door burst open! An unnaturally beautiful girl stood at the door, some unknown wind blowing her long beautiful shiny blonde hair around her beautiful features. A golden light surrounded her as a snowy white owl flew from nowhere and settled on her shoulder. It was all very dramatic. She had breath-taking purple eyes that changed color according to her mood and the silkiest blond hair you could imagine. She was tall, but not too tall and was currently flashing her pearly whites.
All the boys' bottom jaws immediately dropped and all the girls turned green in envy. Even the male teachers seemed quite awestruck. (a/n: surprise surprise)
"Professor Dumbledore!" the mysterious girl exclaimed. "I have arrived!" (A/N: corny corny corny corny..wallowing in it) Dumbledore grinned widely and beckoned her into the hall.
"Everyone, this is my granddaughter, Mary Susan Elizabeth Ann IIII, but you may call her Mary Sue!" Dumbledore said. "She's a transfer student from America (A/N: aren't they all?) and will be joining you for the rest of the year! Please make her feel welcome in our school. Mary Sue, it is time for you to be sorted"
Mary Sue looked very nervous indeed and her beautiful purple eyes turned orange in her anxiousness. She slowly approached the Sorting Hat and placed it fashionably upon her precious little head. (A/N: Ugh.I'm making myself nauseous here) (a/n: YUCK! MAKE IT STOP!! THE HORROR!! MY EYES! * barfs on Talie*) She had barely placed it on her head when the hat yelled.no.DECLARED that she was MADE for Griffindor! The girls in Griffindor turned red in anger while the boys looked ecstatic.
"Mary Sue! Mary Sue! Come join us!" yelled Harry, waving her over. She grinned and shyly made her way to the trio. Harry and Ron were grinning stupidly and all Hermione did was give a great big "Harrumph!"
"Mary Sue, will you be my girlfriend?" asked a hopeful Ron. Harry glared at him before shoving Ron aside.
"No! Be my girlfriend Mary Sue! Ron isn't worth you!" shouted Harry. (a/n: URG!! NO Ron don't fall for it!! And besides the evil Mary-sue isn't good enough for Ron! ;) Mary Sue smiled and was about to speak when Draco himself came up to her. (A/N: omg I HATE to do this to poor Draco! SHE ISNT WORTH YOUR TIME DRACO!! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaah.poop)
"Mary, you have instantaneously captured my heart. Will you go steady with me? After all, I am the Hogwarts Heartthrob (A/N: heheh.that was my work : )." Draco asked nervously. Mary Sue truly looked sad, her eyes changing to an ocean blue color. Harry glared at Draco.
"Sod off Malfoy. She's MINE" Harry said.
"That's where your wrong Harry.she's mine! She loves me!" Ron said.
"Boys, boys, boys", Mary Sue started in her honey sweet voice. "To live up to my name, I must first date around the castle, and go out with every boy here, including Professor Snape, because I think he's yummy", she said. Harry and Ron looked repulsed. "Then", she continued, "I'll pick the one I liked best."
"Darling. I'll wait for you until the day I die", Harry offered nobly.
"As will I", Ron agreed.
Meanwhile, Draco's attention had been captured by another pretty girl who had been giggling and batting her eyes flirtatiously at him. He excused himself and walked away to her. (a/n: why Draco?! Why not Ron?! Waaaaaaa that's not fair Ron can't fall in love with Mary-sue!!)
So everyone shrugged and continued to have dinner. Suddenly a high-pitched cackling filled the Hall and The Dark Lord appeared in the hall looking around venomously.
"Father! What are you doing here?!" asked an astonished Mary Sue.
"Oh hi honey.are these your frien- I mean, muahahahaha! I have arrived to kidnap Harry Potter and do some evil stuff with him (A/N: eew not like that you pervs!) and then kill him!!" cried Voldemort. Meanwhile, Hermione was sitting looking pensive.
"What?!?! Dumbledore and Voldemort are RELATED?" she pondered out loud. Voldemort unfortunately heard her and immediately killed her because he didn't want her to spread that news. No one noticed however.
"Father NO! I have realized that Harry is my True Love!" Mary Sue proclaimed. Harry beamed, while Ron slunk off to sulk (a/n: aaaw poor Ron! Urg Talie why are you picking on him??).
"Wait a minute.Mary Sue, are you Voldemort's daughter??" asked Harry. You see, Harry wasn't the sharpest crayon in the box.
"Yes Harry", Mary Sue sobbed. "It's true!" Ron looked very pleased with himself. Just then Voldemort interrupted.
"The time has come to finish The Boy Who Lived! Or should I say.The LATE Boy Who Lived?" asked Voldemort. He looked very pleased with himself because of the funny joke he had just made. Then he aimed the wand and yelled out the Killing Curse, but instead of heading for Harry, it was headed straight towards Ron. "Ooops.." Voldemort muttered.
"NoOoOoOoOoO!!!!" Mary Sue yelled. Suddenly everything became slow motion as she leaped in front of Ron, the killing curse hitting her straight in the middle of her pure innocent heart. Her body slumped to the floor in front of a dazed Ron. A loud gasp was heard throughout the room.
"Darn, there goes another one" muttered Voldemort, and he disapparated from the hall. Everyone was in tears. The girls were in tears of happiness of course. Harry slowly walked over to her body and knelt by it, looking up to the heavens.
"Why?? Why did this have to happen to this poor sweet innocent person?!" Harry cried. Ron meanwhile was crying over Hermione, who he had just noticed had died.
"Its too bad you had to die Hermione", Ron sobbed. "I needed help with my potions homework!" Ron was inconsolable. Suddenly, a clock struck 10:00. Everyone got up muttering and walked back to the dormitories acting like nothing had ever happened. Harry got up and dusted off his knees leaving the body of Mary behind, Ron following him. Hermione sat up too and followed them.
"Hermione! We thought you died!" a surprised Harry exclaimed.
"Oh no, I just pretended to to make the story more dramatic", Hermione exclaimed cheerfully.
"Oh! Okay, that's great then", Harry told her.
And the three walked back to the Common Room, discussing Quidditch once again.
Disclaimer: we don't own any of the Harry Potter characters. ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?? Yea...moving on
One day Harry Potty (a/n: oops I mean Harry Potter) and his two lovely friends (A/N: don't ask.that was all Ronnie.) were sitting in the Great Hall having dinner and talking about Quidditch.
Suddenly he door burst open! An unnaturally beautiful girl stood at the door, some unknown wind blowing her long beautiful shiny blonde hair around her beautiful features. A golden light surrounded her as a snowy white owl flew from nowhere and settled on her shoulder. It was all very dramatic. She had breath-taking purple eyes that changed color according to her mood and the silkiest blond hair you could imagine. She was tall, but not too tall and was currently flashing her pearly whites.
All the boys' bottom jaws immediately dropped and all the girls turned green in envy. Even the male teachers seemed quite awestruck. (a/n: surprise surprise)
"Professor Dumbledore!" the mysterious girl exclaimed. "I have arrived!" (A/N: corny corny corny corny..wallowing in it) Dumbledore grinned widely and beckoned her into the hall.
"Everyone, this is my granddaughter, Mary Susan Elizabeth Ann IIII, but you may call her Mary Sue!" Dumbledore said. "She's a transfer student from America (A/N: aren't they all?) and will be joining you for the rest of the year! Please make her feel welcome in our school. Mary Sue, it is time for you to be sorted"
Mary Sue looked very nervous indeed and her beautiful purple eyes turned orange in her anxiousness. She slowly approached the Sorting Hat and placed it fashionably upon her precious little head. (A/N: Ugh.I'm making myself nauseous here) (a/n: YUCK! MAKE IT STOP!! THE HORROR!! MY EYES! * barfs on Talie*) She had barely placed it on her head when the hat yelled.no.DECLARED that she was MADE for Griffindor! The girls in Griffindor turned red in anger while the boys looked ecstatic.
"Mary Sue! Mary Sue! Come join us!" yelled Harry, waving her over. She grinned and shyly made her way to the trio. Harry and Ron were grinning stupidly and all Hermione did was give a great big "Harrumph!"
"Mary Sue, will you be my girlfriend?" asked a hopeful Ron. Harry glared at him before shoving Ron aside.
"No! Be my girlfriend Mary Sue! Ron isn't worth you!" shouted Harry. (a/n: URG!! NO Ron don't fall for it!! And besides the evil Mary-sue isn't good enough for Ron! ;) Mary Sue smiled and was about to speak when Draco himself came up to her. (A/N: omg I HATE to do this to poor Draco! SHE ISNT WORTH YOUR TIME DRACO!! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaah.poop)
"Mary, you have instantaneously captured my heart. Will you go steady with me? After all, I am the Hogwarts Heartthrob (A/N: heheh.that was my work : )." Draco asked nervously. Mary Sue truly looked sad, her eyes changing to an ocean blue color. Harry glared at Draco.
"Sod off Malfoy. She's MINE" Harry said.
"That's where your wrong Harry.she's mine! She loves me!" Ron said.
"Boys, boys, boys", Mary Sue started in her honey sweet voice. "To live up to my name, I must first date around the castle, and go out with every boy here, including Professor Snape, because I think he's yummy", she said. Harry and Ron looked repulsed. "Then", she continued, "I'll pick the one I liked best."
"Darling. I'll wait for you until the day I die", Harry offered nobly.
"As will I", Ron agreed.
Meanwhile, Draco's attention had been captured by another pretty girl who had been giggling and batting her eyes flirtatiously at him. He excused himself and walked away to her. (a/n: why Draco?! Why not Ron?! Waaaaaaa that's not fair Ron can't fall in love with Mary-sue!!)
So everyone shrugged and continued to have dinner. Suddenly a high-pitched cackling filled the Hall and The Dark Lord appeared in the hall looking around venomously.
"Father! What are you doing here?!" asked an astonished Mary Sue.
"Oh hi honey.are these your frien- I mean, muahahahaha! I have arrived to kidnap Harry Potter and do some evil stuff with him (A/N: eew not like that you pervs!) and then kill him!!" cried Voldemort. Meanwhile, Hermione was sitting looking pensive.
"What?!?! Dumbledore and Voldemort are RELATED?" she pondered out loud. Voldemort unfortunately heard her and immediately killed her because he didn't want her to spread that news. No one noticed however.
"Father NO! I have realized that Harry is my True Love!" Mary Sue proclaimed. Harry beamed, while Ron slunk off to sulk (a/n: aaaw poor Ron! Urg Talie why are you picking on him??).
"Wait a minute.Mary Sue, are you Voldemort's daughter??" asked Harry. You see, Harry wasn't the sharpest crayon in the box.
"Yes Harry", Mary Sue sobbed. "It's true!" Ron looked very pleased with himself. Just then Voldemort interrupted.
"The time has come to finish The Boy Who Lived! Or should I say.The LATE Boy Who Lived?" asked Voldemort. He looked very pleased with himself because of the funny joke he had just made. Then he aimed the wand and yelled out the Killing Curse, but instead of heading for Harry, it was headed straight towards Ron. "Ooops.." Voldemort muttered.
"NoOoOoOoOoO!!!!" Mary Sue yelled. Suddenly everything became slow motion as she leaped in front of Ron, the killing curse hitting her straight in the middle of her pure innocent heart. Her body slumped to the floor in front of a dazed Ron. A loud gasp was heard throughout the room.
"Darn, there goes another one" muttered Voldemort, and he disapparated from the hall. Everyone was in tears. The girls were in tears of happiness of course. Harry slowly walked over to her body and knelt by it, looking up to the heavens.
"Why?? Why did this have to happen to this poor sweet innocent person?!" Harry cried. Ron meanwhile was crying over Hermione, who he had just noticed had died.
"Its too bad you had to die Hermione", Ron sobbed. "I needed help with my potions homework!" Ron was inconsolable. Suddenly, a clock struck 10:00. Everyone got up muttering and walked back to the dormitories acting like nothing had ever happened. Harry got up and dusted off his knees leaving the body of Mary behind, Ron following him. Hermione sat up too and followed them.
"Hermione! We thought you died!" a surprised Harry exclaimed.
"Oh no, I just pretended to to make the story more dramatic", Hermione exclaimed cheerfully.
"Oh! Okay, that's great then", Harry told her.
And the three walked back to the Common Room, discussing Quidditch once again.