Wash It All Away

By: E.A. Benjamin

It felt as if time would slowly continue to create past memories of a certain pink haired boy, who once been the light he needed to get through the dark times of his life. However, as those dark, nostalgic eyes held some form of longing while they stare at the magazine article, he wondered if his once pink haired lover is doing well. He couldn't remember the last time he seen him, time seem to pass by with each aching memory. Sometimes he wondered, out of curiosity if he was truly happy with the other man. That maybe, this new lover of his could provide everything he needed, love, compassion, romance. Hopefully fix that once sunny disposition of the vocalist from the hurt and abused one he, himself created over the years. Those were the things he regretted more than murder, the moment he saw violet eyes that use to shine, lackluster. He took his time, reading the article. With each word his eyes glanced over, he felt like the journalist or magazine editor who created this interesting piece. This week, it's about their debut album and the lead vocalist new romance. The pink haired singer, seen in one of his twelve photos was smiling, though it was forced. According to the photo information, they we're on another music show.

He knew the moment the pink haired singer heard about another interview on some music show, he went ecstatic. However, with photographic proof, he wasn't happy. His eyes told it all, the emptiness and hollowness they held as his lips possessed a huge smile. Where was the laughter? Where was the energetic emotion he always felt when on stage and singing? That's right, he thought with disgust upon his mistreatment, he was the one who took that away. He held the vocalist happiness and joy in the palm of his hand and without a care crushed it into pieces. He paused for a moment, to blink his eyes before continuing on. He's been at it for awhile, reading everything about the vocalist and his band. Even behind dark shades, his eyes held remorse for him. As he sat outside at the nice little cafe he often came to clear his head and read, no one would recognize him as they passed by along the busy streets of Tokyo. It's always been that way, he gave up wearing a hat and just decided to walk the streets in shades and nice suits. He hardly drove, it's like his will to go fast and dangerous died the day he lost his lover to another. Still, he couldn't understand why he had did those things. Returning his eyes to the article, one section caught his gaze as he read it silently.

Even though Shindou-san and the rest of Bad Luck are releasing their next debut album 'October', we are believe to be told that this is the first time Shindou-san has ever sung anything so depressing. When Shindou-san (phote 5.3) was asked that question about his album, he gave Yuri Takashi a honest answer. He said and quote "Bad Luck is changing and when change intervenes with our music, that's letting us know that we must go with the flow. So hopefully, when this new album reach stores, everyone will by it and listen to it. We worked very hard on it." Though curious as to why the album is full of sad and depressing songs, we thought of one possible answer...the breakup between Yuki Eiri and himself two years ago. When we approached him with this question, he just laughed it off and quote, "This album has nothing to do with a certain novelist. I have my right to change, just like anyone else. Besides, I'm in a better relationship now and quite happy with it."

He stopped right there, wondering why everyone thought everything the vocalist did had to be for a certain 'novelist'. Sure, two years ago, thing would have been proven right if the album was made within that time span, but however if it took the vocalist two years to write something so depressing, why do it now? Technically, he let his mind wonder more, they are trying to get the vocalist to reveal his secrets. Apparently, out of all the magazines and television shows he had watched or read, the vocalist never did mention the name of his estrange lover. He oftened wonder why he didn't want to publicize his proud, happy relationship with the man who had stolen his heart? He did it before, when things were still anew with his first love. However, this time, he kept his cool, never once under intimidation by television host or journalist exploit his personal life. And within every article, he kept seeing 'Shindou-san mysterious lover' or 'Who is this lucky lover who won over Shindou Shuichi's heart?'. It's rather ill-mattered what they would do to figure out. He remembered walking passed the vocalist home one evening to find two cars parked outside of his complex. He knew, secretly that the vocalist has finally learned how to take care of himself, such as cook and drive. However, what interested him more was the other car, a nice yellow Corvette parked next to the vocalist's black Mustang GT. Somehow, in his mind with more careful observation, he had seen that yellow Corvette somewhere before, but couldn't put his finger on it.

"Well...it's been awhile since I've seen you here and alone no doubt," A soft voice approached from behind, who eyes gazed interestingly at the man.

Without looking up, a small smile broke out as he replied in a hostile voice, "Apparently, I'm not alone anymore, am I?"

"I guess you're not and since this really wasn't an open invitation, I'm just passing by with a...delivery."

Thrown on the table, a yellow envelope shift into view and instantly he knew what was the content within. "You were able to get it, without any trouble?"

"What do you think?"

Somewhere on the outskirts of Tokyo, two figures walked hand in hand along the trail that lead to a nice, remote park. One of the figures had bright cotton candy pink hair and shimmering violet eyes that were concealed by shades. Next to him, with fingers entwined with each other was the one everyone in Tokyo been trying to figure out. Under a loose baseball cap, blonde hair fell on all ends as cerulean eyes watch the blue sky with interest. It was hard for them to keep their secret hidden, especially from those who knew who they were. Still, regardless what everyone else thought, the vocalist told them he was happy in his new relationship. Even if he had to force his smiles, he would truly smile for one person and one person only. He couldn't help but let out a sigh, his eyes wandered around as they landed on the trees. Sometimes, when alone, he found walking along these trails at night brought some kind of calming to him. When at work, making music, singing, he felt empty inside. As if, his words were nothing but false hope for something more, but at the same time held a strange longing he haven't felt in awhile. At least, when having those trouble feelings, he was able to voice them out to the one person who was willing to listen, instead of insulting him.

He proved to the world that he wasn't an idiot. He was capable of engaging in long, intelligent conversation that took time to analyse and conclude. During many parties, invited by different people, he found himself often giving critical input on world's troubles, such as war, proverty, and violence. It was interesting to hear himself often talk about it as if he was born with the knowledge. Many people were impressed that he could withhold a conversation, but agreed with him. He let out another sigh, this time in happiness rather than depression and sadness. Lately, since all the interviews and press conferences, he haven't had time to just be himself, without the profile of a singer. Sure, a singer's duty is never done, as long as he can write lyrics and sing, but he wondered for how long will this dream of his last. At twenty-six years old, he had other things he should worry about and want, like most people his age. Settling down, wanting to start a family, finding other paths of life instead of the one chosen. He wanted all of those things, but the more he see his musical career path intervene with his other dream, he don't know if he could have them. Without him knowing, he eyes reflected another form of sadness which wasn't left unnoticed by his beloved. Concern came his way as his lover stopped walking. He took heed to their sudden motionless movement as violet eyes turned away from the nostalgic scenery, to the eyes of the only person who cared. When glanced upon, he noticed the look he often dread and as quickly as he could, he smiled a geniune smile.

"Nothing's wrong, I'm just thinking of things that normally bring out a false form of sadness," He tried to explain, hoping that it would be enough to convince him.

Nevertheless, it didn't work when fingers reached up and brushed against the softness of his cheek. He didn't believe anything the pink haired vocalist said. He knew something was troubling him, and as always, he could never conceal the truth properly. Just one glance into those depth of violet orbs, he saw everything he wanted to see. His lover was unhappy, and only he was the one who could make him happy once again. Placing his hand underneath his chin, he pulled the lithe form closer. Without hesistation or permission, he closed the space between them with a gentle kiss. He watched eyes his lover's eyes fluttered shut, taking in everything he had to give in order to calm the storm that was surging. He knew, somewhere within his mind, this was something he longed for awhile. It was hard to do these things and not get caught. They hardly had time for each other, with their busy schedules always in the way. Slowly, he pulled back to give both of them of air as he pressed his forehead against the other.

"Talk to me, tell me what's wrong." He breathed, still trying to get air into his lungs.

A smaller hand covered the other that rested upon his cheek as he leaned into the the touch. He didn't know if he should tell the other man what he wanted, his dreams, his hopes. In his mind, it seemed ridiculous to bare something like that. "I love you...you know that?" He whispered, not wanting to discuss anything else, but pour his heart out at the same time.

He still didn't believe that what he wanted to talk about, but knew when not to pry and press. "I love you too and when you are ready to talk, I'm always here to listen."

"I know...and thank you for always being here for me. I don't know what I would do without you." He moved closer as he pressed his face into the man's chest to conceal the tears that found their way back after so long.

Wrapping his arms around him, he smiled faintly, knowing what he was talking about. "You probably would have died, Shuichi. You would have died..."

TBC

Author's Note:

It's only the beginning, but there's more to come...

Did you figure out who's who?

I hope so...hehe...